


Overcome Anything (Reader insert)

by PinkPastelQuartz



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Child Neglect, Comfort/Angst, Damn people are falling apart, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Foreshadowing, Hints at reader being ace but never outright states it, I suck at tagging, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Insert, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Shyness, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, everyone is an emotional mess, implied anxiety disorder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 86,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25096510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPastelQuartz/pseuds/PinkPastelQuartz
Summary: You've always been content living in Postwick. It's a quiet town, and the people are nice, so why should you ask for anything more?But when you're suddenly flung head-first into the world of being a Pokemon trainer, you're completely lost. It isn't aided by your lack of confidence or constant second-guessing, and the further you go, the more things don't make sense.Can you really overcome your anxiety and finish the gym challenge?Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading.I’ve been writing this to myself, I never planned on publishing it since it’s not meant to be a “serious” project.TW: Anxiety, Low self esteem, panic attacks, child neglect, su*cidal implications
Comments: 32
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.  
Me, myself and I

The sun rose outside, the dawn spilled through your slightly parted curtains. A new day, a new day that will undoubtedly be filled with mistakes that you will regret when this time comes again tomorrow. Looking over at your bedside table, where a glass of water from the night before was idly sitting. 

Might as well get out of bed now.

You sneaked a glance over at the alarm clock to your right, surprised it hadn’t awakened you already. The time displayed 5:08. Wow. It seemed as though you slept for an eternity yet it was only a few hours. You knew you’d have to shake off last nights thoughts. Or you’d never be able to pull yourself out of bed. But why should you? You could see your Pokemon in the corner of the room, curled up in its bed, lightly snoring. It was best to stay in bed, why should you get out of bed? There’s no point after all. At least not right now. 

You grabbed your pink covers and wrapped themselves around you, even though you were boiling already. Galar isn’t known for being hot, especially compared to other regions, but the summers were still hot to someone who had lived their whole life here. Like you. You made an attempt to get back to sleep, but the second you shut your eyes the memories of last night came back to your head.

Overthinking situations wasn’t uncommon to you, yet last nights episode felt especially bad. All you could think about were tiny things, small interactions you had, a text you sent. Everything that anyone else would never think twice about. Yet somehow you did. When it was dark and no one else was around, you couldn’t help but think. The tiniest, most trivial things seemed like life and death right now. All you could do was think. Think about anything that could be taken as even slightly wrong. It was all you could think about.  
“Why did I tell victor I liked sweet curry? I should have said I liked dry, like him, then he would like me, I bet he hates me now”  
“I should have responded differently when hop asked what my favourite gym leader was. I shouldn’t have answered honestly, I should have just said Leon, even though he’s not a gym leader, I should have never answered at all. Why did Hop even ask me that? Why does he bother to hang out with me?”  
“I should have said I had plans today, I know they would never actually want to hang out with a disappointment like me.”  
“Why did I say-

Your thoughts were cut off by the aggressive beeping of your alarm. It seemed like only a few minutes had gone by, yet the alarm thought differently. Sneaking a glance, you saw it was already 7:30. 

Oh, Arceus.

Your thoughts had gotten the better of you again, you felt even worse than before. What was even the point of getting out of bed now? 

You were snapped back to reality by the weight shifting on your bed and a serious of small barks. Your growlithe playfully pawed at you, evidently looking for it’s breakfast. You turned your body around and faced him, pulling him into a tight hug. Burying your face in its fluff. Your growlithe could tell that you were upset, and so it sat there politely as you gently stroked its fur, face still submerged in the fluff at the front of his neck. You stayed in the embrace for a good few minutes. Before pulling yourself out and rolling out of the bed, your feet sunk into the fluffy carpet, you walked over to the alternate nightstand, grabbed the old water from the night before and drank it all in one. The lukewarm temperature and the general taste of it not being fresh was familiar to you. You often found yourself in this situation, as tiredness was unforgiving and would not allow you to get up and put it in the sink. So cleaning dishes in the morning was very familiar. 

Your growlithe happily followed as you made your way to the kitchen, you poured some Pokemon food into a bowl and gently sat it down at his feet. It happily dug in, acting like it hadn’t eaten in days. Your growlithe was always very eager in everything he did, always rushed forward with no plan, and didn’t care about what might happen. It was a quality you envied. You could never be like that, the “What if” questions plagued your mind whenever you made any attempt to put yourself out there. So you didn’t. You know exactly what you would think as soon as the sun set. You would think about why you did that, and how much of a failure you are. 

You grabbed the two poke balls from off the kitchen counter and tossed them onto the floor. Your Lapras and Musdale sprung free, easily filling up your kitchen. Growlithe looked so small next to the two giants next to him. You gently pulled both of them into a hug, greeting them. They both weren’t allowed out of their poke balls in the house much, as their size made it difficult to move around, and your mum would complain about needing space and it being unsanitary. Thankfully she was staying over with some of her work colleagues, so you had the house to yourself for a few days. You led musdale and lapras out the back door, grabbing some fresh food for musdale and lapras. 

You always felt so safe when in the presence of Pokemon, especially musdale and lapras. Their huge size made it feel like they could protect you from anything, you felt like you could hide behind them, and most of all, you knew they both loved you and would do anything to protect you. Growlithe’s small size has its advantages though, you could easily pick him up and cuddle him in your arms when you were overwhelmed, which was quite frequent unfortunately. You could have him anywhere without drawing any attention to you, and his spunkiness was also great for giving you little nudges in the right direction whenever you were considering doing or saying something.

You noticed your Pokemon staring at you, waiting for you to place the food in front of them. You smiled and gently placed it in its appropriate bowls. They both definitely ate a lot, Pokemon of that size to need to. You felt a small tug on the bottom of your pyjama trousers, you looked down and saw your growlithe gently pulling at them, as if encouraging you to get dressed.

You chuckled slightly and led growlithe back inside as your Pokemon finished their breakfast outside. You looked into the mess you called a wardrobe, giving it some consideration. You knew that you probably wouldn’t be seeing anyone today, despite hop inviting you over. Excuses were easy to make, just get out of the house in the next few minutes and leave him a message saying you got caught up in something. You decided to absentmindedly throw on some leggings, a T-shirt and a hoodie. You would be even warmer, but that didn’t matter to you. Growlithe yapped at your feet as you shoved some essentials into a backpack. A few berries, tent, pokeballs, potions and revives. 

You grabbed Lapras and Musdale’s pokeballs and returned them to them. You let growlithe stay, since he was small and could easily get out the door. Just as you were about to leave, a Pokemon came through the flap on your door.

Skitty, the first and only Pokemon you ever caught. Musdale and Lapras were originally your mother’s, she gave them to you when she retired from being a trainer in order to settle down, while Growlithe was a gift from a Pokemon breeder. Skitty was special to you. She always knew when you needed her, but also knew when to give you space, because of that, you didn’t keep her in her pokeball. You let her run free, returning home whenever she felt like it, or whenever she sensed you needed her. 

You kneeled down and gave her head a quick pat and she purred in contentment. 

“You coming with me today?” You said

Skitty responded by jumping onto your shoulder, her soft purring right up against your ears making you giggle slightly.

You quickly typed out a message to hop, before running out the door. You allowed musdale to spring from its pokeball and jumped on its back excitedly, growlithe followed while skitty remained on your shoulders. 

Postwick was small, but the fields were vast and open. Even though it was nothing like the wild area, musdale still seemed to like running across it. Running was running after all. And despite how bright it was, no one seemed to be awake. It felt like a forbidden land, seeing all the houses go past, with no crowds or sign of life. Yet the sun shone brightly anyways, the orange hints from dawn almost completely faded. 

You felt happy.

Not alone, but happy anyways.

Once you reached the farthest part of the fields, you turned back, might as well do this lap another few times. Musdale seemed to be enjoying it still. 

Once you saw Victors house, you knew you should probably take a break, but you didn’t have the heart to tell musdale to stop either, in the end, you raced right past, through an open gate that you didn’t notice at the time. But that gate wasn’t meant to be open, and you would come to realise that soon. 

You had noticed as you went back that the streets seemed a lot more crowded, time was so fickle. But you knew the quiet morning wouldn’t last forever. You predicted it was probably around 11 AM now. Which was a half hour before Leon’s match with Raihan. You knew most people would be glued to the telly, waiting in anticipation. But you weren’t that bothered with it, Leon would win anyways. 

Once you realised it was a lot darker, and foggier than where you had just been, you realised you might have made a mistake. A big one.

Musdale slowed down, clearly noticing something was up. You dismounted musdale and put skitty and growlithe back in their pokeballs, not wanting either of them to get hurt. 

The fog was thick, and it was difficult to see anything in front of you. 

“Turn around” you thought.

You needed to turn around, but where was forward and where was back? The fog made it impossible to see anything in front of you or behind you.

With a deep breath, you pressed forwards and hoped the fog would clear soon.

Musdale could tell you were scared, and he didn’t move or whine in disapproval when you grabbed part of his mane as tight as you could. It was slightly comforting.

Both of you pressed forward, tall grass up to your knees. You could hear your heart beating in your chest, so loud, you were convicted all of Postwick could hear it. You took another step forward, before feeling a sudden rush of thoughts.

“You’re going to die here”  
“You’ll never be able to leave”  
“No one will miss you”  
“When you die, people won’t care”  
“Everyone will be happy to have such a horrific failure gone”

Oh Arceus, you could feel the panic setting in, yet you fought to keep it at bay. Musdale took notice and stopped walking, pushing its head up to your chest, letting you lovingly nuzzle him as you tried to think about anything else.

The fog swirled around you, your mind still racing. 

“It’s gonna be ok. You just need to breathe”

You desperately tried to convince yourself that, yet it was no use, your breathing was short and panicked, you couldn’t see anything or process anything that was happening, all of your senses were screaming at you at once.

You felt hot tears streaming down your face as you pulled yourself onto musdale’s back. Desperately trying to stop the tears from falling.

“Y/N!”

A voice made you peel your head up from musdale and look over. Victor was running towards you, his Eevee following behind him. 

“Y/N, are you alright? What are you doing here?!” 

He saw the tears that you quickly attempted to wipe away and his face softened. 

“I was riding musdale and didn’t notice that I went into the slumbering Weald, I- I just wasn’t paying attention, I’m so sorry!”

He pulled you into a quick hug as you tried to correct your breathing

“Well what matters is that you’re ok now” Victor smiles and gently pushed you back.

“How did you even know I was here? I’m glad you did but still!” You protested meekly.

“Oh I was getting up for some snacks to watch the match with and I saw someone riding a musdale go into the Slumbering Weald, you’re the only one around here that rides a musdale” he laughed slightly.

You looked at the floor, before jumping back onto musdale.

“Anyways, I thought you were meant to be watching the match with Hop, what happened?”

He already suspected the answer, avoiding people was a common thing you did whenever you were feeling down, and Victor could see that. Yet you decided to lie anyways.

“Oh, musdale needed some fresh air is all” you mumbled, looking into the fog. 

Victor sighed, no point in calling your bluff out. 

“Anyways, let’s head back, I’m sure you can still make it to hops place before the match starts” he smiled and hopped onto musdale, sitting directly behind you, his Eevee hopping on as well.

“I’ll show you the way, onwards musdale!”


	2. The champion

Chapter 2  
The Champion 

All three of you were in Hop’s bedroom, both Hop and Victor fascinated by the match. You couldn’t deny it was exciting, yet the two boys clearly held a much higher appreciation for them. You could already tell they would both be great trainers, they certainly had the energy.

Skitty purred in your lap as you grabbed a piece of popcorn from the rapidly dwindling bowl. You crunched down and felt the saltiness creep over your tongue. Hop was cheering as Leon Gigantamaxed his charizard, Victor also getting into it. You gave a small sound of excitement as to not be the odd one out.

To no ones surprise, Leon won. However predictable the outcome, both Hop and Victor roared with excitement as Raihan’s duraludon returned to its normal size and collapsed. Leon striking his famous charizard pose. Hop re-wound the match to the exact point where charizard used its final attack. Basking in the feeling of excitement for as long as he could.  
“See, Look at how powerful his G-max wildfire is! Even without a type advantage, he still manages to pull through!” Hop was clearly very passionate, and his tone reflected that.

Victor chuckled “We all know he’s unbeatable, Hop, but still.” He said “the rush that I feel, even as just a spectator is like no other” 

You smiled, not wanting to put a damper on the mood.

“One day, I’m gonna get as strong as Lee! And then I’ll become the new champion, and everyone will feel this way when watching my battles!” Hop joyfully exclaimed.

“Oh, you wish, I’m going to beat you to it! I’ll defeat Leon and then I’ll defeat you!” Victor teased.

“You both have lots of potential, I really admire that.” You mumbled, half to yourself and half to the boys.

Hop heard this and said, “Oh come on Y/N! Don’t act like you wouldn’t be a great trainer!” gently pulling you between him and Victor. 

“Yeah, Y/N! Have a little more faith in yourself!” 

You gently smiled “O-Okay, I’ll try!” You said with as much enthusiasm as you could muster. 

Despite everything, all your thoughts and fears. Here you were, with your best friends and feeling happy and comfortable. Maybe it was the tiredness, or maybe it was because Hop and Victor were the best friends you could ever ask for. All your fears seemed to melt away as you gave a big, genuine smile. 

“That’s the spirit!” Hop said, ruffling your already messy hair. 

But the feeling didn’t last long. 

“Anyways, it’s only about half an hour before Leon arrives here in Postwick!” Hop jumped up from his happiness. Victor following and standing up as well.

Oh god. The reasons for wanting to ditch today suddenly came flooding back to you. How could you ever forget? Leon was coming to visit Hop, who promised to let him meet his friends, you and Victor. Just brilliant. A national celebrity was coming to visit you. That’s exactly what you needed in your time of feeling worthless.

You already knew that thousands of people would kill for an opportunity like this, and would kill you for passing it up. Yet now you felt trapped, how could you say no to Hop after he’s been thrilled about this for weeks? What kind of selfish, horrible person would do that?

You had to say something. 

“U-um, Hop, Victor,” You stammered. Trying to form a coherent sentence while Hop’s disappointment played in your head on loop. They both turned to you, as you were fiddling with skitty’s tail and they realised something was up.

“I’m sorry but I really can’t come with you.” You tried to say more, explain your selfishness, yet the words wouldn’t leave your lips. 

You looked up and there it was, Hop’s disappointed face, plain to see. Your fears were all here and you felt like the worst person on earth.

Hop was about to speak but Victor shoot him a look, clearly stating that whatever he was going to say was only going to make you feel even worse.

“Are you sure? It’s just going to be us, and maybe Hop’s mum. There’s nothing to be scared of.” Victor calmly explained. Letting you draw in a shaky breath and compose yourself. 

“It’s just, There’s going to be a crowd, and then Leon will draw all the attention to us three. Never-mind the fact that he’s a national sensation! How could I-“ your words became quieter and faded off.

Hop grabbed your arm and pulled you up. “None of that matters! Lee’s not going to judge you and neither will any of the people in the crowd, if there even is one.” His golden eyes looked into yours and he grinned. “You can even bring Skitty, or Musdale, or any of your other Pokemon! I’ll even let you hold my wooloo if you want 

“If it makes you feel so uncomfortable, we won’t force you, I’ll take you home and we can hang out another time” Victor said, smile still on his face.

They weren’t angry, and they were fully supportive of whatever decision you decided to make. This fact alone made it impossible to decline. Hop even offered to let you hold his wooloo, even with how protective he is! A smile pulled at your lips. You were so happy that they were such good and caring friends, even if Hop has difficulty reading when you felt anxious or overwhelmed.

You drew in a deep breath and lightly slapped your cheeks with your palms. “Okay! I’ll come with you to pick up Leon, but I make no promises about staying here afterwards.” 

You were attacked by the two of them pulling you into a tight hug.

“Yes! I promise Y/N, you won’t regret this!” Hop said while beaming.

They both let you go and walked you both out the door, skitty was wrapped around your shoulders again, providing encouraging purrs now and then. You let Hop’s wooloo roll along beside you, providing extra support.

Walking down the cobbled paths, Hop kept going on and on about how amazing Leon was, but cracking jokes in an attempt to keep you comfortable. Victor walked next to you, and you felt ok, you were with your best friends and caring Pokemon. How bad could this possibly go?

Very.

You already knew there would be a crowd, but once it came into view, your uncertainty came back at full force. Why do you get to meet Leon? What have you ever done ever in your life to deserve to meet everyone’s idol? Nothing. You’re worthless. 

Victor saw you hesitating and stopped, he turned towards you. Hop didn’t notice and went straight on ahead towards the crowd. Shouting his brothers name at the top of his lungs.

“Hey, are you alright?” Victor asked.

Why did you even bother coming here? You knew you’d just disappoint them again.

You were not alright. And you couldn’t keep up your facade of being alright. All your thoughts were overwhelming, the voices of the crowd, hop yelling, the bright glare of the sun. The faint scent of berries and bright colours everywhere. It was too much. Combined with your negative thoughts, churning in your head like butter. You had to get out of here.

And fast.

“No! I-I-I. I’m sorry Victor!” You stammered as you ran as fast as you could back up the hill. “I’m  
Going back to the house” you yelled as you ran.

Skitty was making confused noises, and hops wooloo was still happily rolling along after you, oblivious to your situation. 

You panted as you slowed down, the hill looked small yet it was surprisingly difficult to run up. You paused for a bit to catch your breath. Before what you just did hit you. Oh god. I just ran away and left Hop and Victor. Even after everything they said about supporting me, I left them anyways.  
Dejected, you sighed and sunk down to the floor, your back against the cobblestone walls of Hop’s garden. Wooloo crashed into your leg and you gave him a small pat. He bleated happily and your skitty also jumped down, wanting affection. 

How could you be such a coward? No one would think twice about this? It’s just a regular thing. Meeting someone new could give some people a little worry about how they presented themselves, before going and doing it with no trouble, yet, here you were. Such a failure that panicked and ran off when she had to meet someone new. How pathetic.

You rose to your feet, ready to walk back to your house and call it a day. You’d talk to Hop and Victor tomorrow, they would tell you all the details and how it went. Everything would be back to normal. Yet when you saw the path to your home, there was a few people up by your house, or at least the path next to it. You knew that they were just coming from somewhere else and we’re probably going to the station. Yet you couldn’t think about anything but the crowd back at Wedgehurst. Even this small version frightened you, and without thinking you ran into Hop’s garden, towards his front door and into his house.


	3. New Encounter

Chapter 3   
New Encounter

Hop’s mum saw you panting as you frantically scrambled to shut the door and had a good idea of what happened. Being the kind mother that she was, she smiled at you and said “Something up dearie? I take it you were overwhelmed and ran here?” Her tone was sweet, and you felt safe in her presence. 

You gently nodded. A shameful blush crept over your cheeks, you felt like such a failure. “I-I, T-there was a crowd and I g-got scared” you managed to say, between multiple stutters. 

Hop’s mum just smiled. “It’s ok dearie, I know you can get overwhelmed easily, I should have asked Leon to meet at the house instead.” She turned her back and got some vegetables out her fridge “you should let your Pokemon out in the garden, I'm sure they’re feeling cramped in their pokeballs” 

Turning back towards the front door, you threw Lapras and musdale’s pokeballs and they sprung free, musdale pacing around the garden and lapras settling down in the small pond. You also let growlithe out, giving him the option to go outside or stay inside. He chose to run around with musdale.

Seeing your Pokemon so happy was a slight stress reliever. You wished you could stare at them all day. Running around and finding interest in the smallest things, like funny shaped rocks or sticks. Everything seemed so simple.

Skitty jumped from your shoulders to the table, curling up into a little fluffy ball. Purring from the peace and quiet. She was such a comforting sight. 

Hops mum spoke again “You do know that Leon and the boys will be coming back here any minute now, right? I can take you home if you need to-“

“No! Wait yes. Wait uh. Well there were a few people up by my house when I tried to go back, which is why I came here so....”

She nodded in understanding. “I’ll try to keep you out of the way of Leon for the most part, for now would you like to help me prepare lunch for them?” 

She was so kind and considerate, you nodded without any hesitation. Making yourself useful was always what you wanted to do, it made you feel like less of a burden.

~~~~~~~~

As you were chopping vegetables as a snack for the boys, you heard voices outside that made your heart almost stop.

“Yeah, I’ve been training with my wooloo all the time! We are unstoppable together!”

You heard an older man laughing

“Of course, Hop! Training with your partner and improving your bond is the best way to improve as a trainer!” 

Oh great, you didn’t think they would be back so soon. Where on earth could you go? There wasn’t anywhere to run now.

“Oh, Hop, Victor. Didn’t you mention that your friend Y/N would be coming as well?” 

“Oh yeah, she tried, but she got overwhelmed by the crowd and had to run home. At least that’s what Victor said.”

“That’s a shame. I would have loved to meet her, but, I guess if she wasn’t comfortable with it then you couldn’t do anything about it”

You desperately looked over at Hop’s mum for what to do, however she just smiled and said.  
“It’s ok, Leon isn’t a bad guy. There’s nothing to be scared of”

You assembled the chopped vegetable sticks on a plate, and put a dip in the middle, before going to wash the chopping board and knife. Then you realised that all your Pokemon were still outside in Hop’s garden. Well. Except for skitty which was still asleep on the table. 

Then you overheard something that made you panic.

“Whoa, who’s this big guy?” You heard, as the slightly distressed cries of your musdale rang from the garden. 

“Oh, that’s Y/N’s musdale! She must have left it here-“

The barking of your growlithe drowned out the rest of his sentence.

“Oh? She must have forgotten all her pokeballs then. I guess we’ll return them tomorrow, or if she comes around to pick them up?” Hop sounded confused and concerned, you would never abandon any of your Pokemon, no matter how much of a hurry you were in.

Your face was turning beetroot red, and you desperately tried to distract yourself by drying and putting away the dishes. Yet it was impossible. The Galar champion, THE Leon, was right outside the door, and was about to meet the coward that could even face him in the first place. Just brilliant. What would he think of you now.

Just as you were putting the knife in the drawer, you heard the door open. 

“Hey mum! We’re back, and we’ve got Lee!” You heard a bubbly voice say.

You kept yourself facing the wall, you couldn’t face any of them now. Why would they want to look at such a selfish person that ran off and abandoned them-

“Y/N?” You heard Victor say. A questioning tone in his voice.

You kept facing the wall, it felt as though your feet were glued to the floor, yet you were rescued by Hop’s mum saying  
“Welcome back Boys. Leon, your room has been cleaned and Hop, clean up your mess before talking to your brother. Your room is a state!” 

Hop groaned “Fine, but I’ll be done super quick!”

They were talking so normally, like nothing was wrong, it gave you a slight bit of courage. So you forced yourself to turn around and face the three boys standing just in front of the doorway.

Hop was running up the stairs already and didn’t notice you turning around. But when you did you saw both Leon and Victor, looking across the room straight at you. 

Every single bad thought came back to your head, and you could feel their gazes piercing into your soul. 

“Oh, hey Y/N, I thought you were heading home?” Victor said softly, with no hint of anger or disappointment in his voice.

It caught you off guard and you responded with “I tried, but there were people up by my house so I could only get to here. I’m sorry for earlier.” You tried your best to be loud, yet the words dwindled to a mere mumble. Victor heard nonetheless.

“It’s no problem, anyways, this is Leon, as I’m sure you know already.” He smiled and looked at Leon, who smiled and looked back at you. Your mouth was dry and you couldn’t even begin to form a sentence. You just walked towards the table where skitty was resting, and gently patted her back. 

After a short pause you said “it’s nice to meet you, mr Leon” 

Leon could very clearly tell you were uncomfortable, you made it plainly obvious. Yet for some reason he was determined to make you not feel nervous around him. Maybe the champion side of him, or the Big brother side? Either way, he didn’t want you to be scared of him, especially after all the good things Hop told him about you.

He gently laughed, “it’s just Leon, no need to be so formal. Anyways, it’s great to meet you Y/N! Hop’s told me a bunch about you!” 

You were on edge, only the purrs of your skitty comforted you, and you felt as awkward as ever. You couldn’t even introduce yourself properly!

Victor broke the silence by saying “do you want to go upstairs and help Hop, Y/N?” You nodded eagerly, still petting skitty, any escape from this situation would be good, even though it was selfish, you still felt like you needed to run.

“I might as well go up and help him, I know Hop will just stuff everything into one drawer then forget about it” Leon laughed slightly. 

Just brilliant. You hoped you could have had time alone with just Hop and Victor. But I guess there wasn’t anything you could do. 

Scooping up skitty in your arms, you went up to Hop’s room, where he was busy trying to flatten the creases out of his sheets. When he saw you, Victor and Leon walk in he grinned widely.

“Hey! Quit staring Lee! It’s not that messy!” 

Leon chuckled and went over to where Hop was “see, grab the sheets by the corners and pull it like this”.

As Hop and Leon we’re discussing the bed, you turned to Victor, who had put a hand on your shoulder. 

“You alright?”

You responded with a small nod and smiled. “I’ll be fine. It’s not that big a deal anyways” 

You looked over to see Hop and Leon sitting on the now less creased bed and talking, you could see how much Hop admired Leon by the shine in his eyes and the constant excitement in his voice. Leon looked up to see you staring and beckoned you over with a smile. You and victor sat down on the carpet next to the bed. You tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible as you hugged Skitty.

Leon addressed Victor first

“So are you a trainer, Victor? Hop has told me all about your little Eevee” 

“Oh, I’m not really a trainer, I do battles occasionally but Eevee is mostly my pet”

“Victor’s being modest! He’s beaten my wooloo a bunch of times with his Eevee, but that’s all the more reason I need to get stronger”

With a chuckle Leon responded with “So do you have any idea what you want to evolve it into? Have something in mind?”

“Oh, I only know a few of the eeveelutions, Flareon, Jolteon and Vaporeon. I think I want a Flareon, so I’m on the look out for a fire stone.”

“Brilliant! See, your already on the path to being a fine trainer. And I’m sure your Eevee will grow and become stronger than you ever imagined. That’s the joy of battling.” Leon was very clearly excited, he had the same look in his eye that Hop had. The passion was clear to see, and you found it cute.

His voice softened. “So Y/N, are you a trainer? Your Pokemon all look pretty strong. Especially that Musdale.”

Desperately scrambling to find the right words, you felt a sweat spring on your forehead. “No- I’m just, uh- no I’m not” 

What on earth was that? He’s surely going to hate you now. Someone as weak and pathetic-

“Her musdale and Lapras were gifts from her mom, she did the gym challenge a few years back but gave up after she couldn’t defeat Raihan” Victor said, cutting into your thoughts 

“Woah, that’s amazing! Your mum must have been an amazing trainer!” Leon said, grin plastered on his face.

You were surprised at his kindness. He didn’t comment on your obvious nervousness, or how you ran from him earlier. Instead you felt.... relaxed? It was a weird feeling to you, especially for someone you just met.

“I already know what I want to do! I want to train and get stronger! Strong enough to beat even you Lee!” Hop proclaimed. “Wooloo can take on anybody, well, maybe except from Victor” 

Leon laughed. “You’ve still got a ways to go lil bro. Surely you know there is a lot more to battles than strength?” Hop eagerly nodded. 

The conversation continued for a while, Leon and Hop talking about various battle strategies, with Victor occasionally contributing his ideas. You stayed silent. You found it was much better to listen to people talk rather than fumble to contribute your thoughts. Just listening to Leon you felt calmer, there wasn’t any pressure for you to do or say anything, it was nice, calming. Skitty lay asleep in your arms. Maybe today wasn’t as bad as you thought. 

After a while Leon stretched his arms and said “I’m super hungry, I’ve only had a protein bar for breakfast today!” He stood you from the bed and Hop did the same. You stood up, skitty still asleep in your arms. 

“Same here! I feel like I’ve not eaten in weeks, let’s go ask mum if there’s any food about” Hop said eagerly. You remembered you had prepared lunch for them earlier. Yet you couldn’t find the words to say it. You followed them downstairs where Hop’s mum was.

“Wow, this all looks delicious!” Hop exclaimed, running forward with no regard for his surroundings. He grabbed multiple things from the table and stuffed them in his mouth. Hop’s mum giving him a disappointed glance. 

“Hop! Manners! There are guests around.” His mum scolded. Hop stepped back apologetically. “These are just little snacks to keep you going until later, thank Y/N for helping me prepare all of this” 

“Thanks Y/N!” Both Leon and Victor said in unison. You looked away slightly and tried to keep your composure. Despite how nice Leon was, there was still a lot of tension. Or maybe you were overreacting? It was hard to tell. But it was nice to have skitty in your arms. At least someone found you nice to be around. 

As the rest of the boys pulled up chairs to sit around the table, you watched as Hop’s mum left the room, before pulling up a chair yourself. 

Leon directed the conversation towards you. 

“So, Y/N. Do you know much about Pokemon?” He asked gently.

You nodded slightly. It was one of the few things you had knowledge about. Having to take care of multiple Pokemon very day let’s you know quite a lot about them. 

“Great! So you watch battles often?” 

“Only really your battles. Your charizard looks to be EV trained in special attack and...” you trailed off, self consciousness creeping into your bones. But Leon just laughed. 

“Great observation! The average trainer doesn’t know about EV training, it’s not even really taught in any trainer schools either. You must really know your stuff then!” He grinned happily. 

“Y/N is super modest! She always says she isn’t any good at stuff and then she turns out to have a bunch of knowledge on it!” Hop said, trying to cheer you up. 

It worked. You managed to smile genuinely and reply with a thank you, in a much louder voice than your usual quiet whisper. 

“Hey, after we are done eating, come outside. I’ve got something special for you all!” Leon said with a beam. 

You could feel yourself starting to overthink, but were instantly snapped out of it by skitty giving a gentle purr. normally you would think about how someone as sad as you managed to get a gift from the champion, yet you weren’t as worried about that right now. Even though it was gradual, you were starting to feel better about this.


	4. Addition to the party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All these chapters were written in advance, I’m not that fast at writing. Once I get everything I’ve written so far posted, the updates will be a lot slower.

Chapter 4  
Addition to the Party

Time skip to later in the day. 

The three of you had been outside for a few hours, Leon told various stories about his shenanigans as champion, battles with challengers, and almost anything that came to his mind. Hop and Victor often brought up stories of their own, you mainly stayed quiet. It was nice listening to people, and it felt nice to not be forced to say anything.

Eventually, Hop jumped up from the tree he was leaning against. 

“Ok Lee, you promised all of us presents, so out with it!” Leon chuckled slightly and looked up towards the three of you.

“I suppose I’ve made you wait long enough, take a look everyone!” He declared as he flung three Pokeballs onto the ground. 

Three Pokemon sprung out, ready for action. There was a small white bunny with red and orange accents, it hopped around happily, looking very excited to be out of it’s pokeball. There was a small green Pokemon, it had a small branch tucked in its tufts of hair on it’s head. It happily climbed the tree Hop was previously leaning against. Finally there was a blue lizard-like Pokemon with very wide eyes. It jumped into the pond and floated about, seeming relaxed and comfortable. 

They were adorable! Every last one. The uniqueness of them all made your heart pound. A new adventure was waiting for you! 

Who were you kidding? No it wasn’t. The excitement that had been building in your chest quickly deflated as you imagined yourself a week from now. Exactly the same but with an additional Pokemon. What wasted potential. You don’t deserve to have one. It would be much better with Hop or Victor, someone that wasn’t a wimp. Someone that would give them what they wanted. Someone that would- 

Skitty noticed the change in your tone and nuzzled up against you, her soft fur rubbing against your T-shirt. It was going to be ok, she was here with you. 

You were jolted back to reality when you felt something gently attacking your foot, you looked down and saw the small green Pokemon gently tapping your shoes with the branch that was once in its tufts of hair. You gently leaned down and patted the grass monkey on its head. It made small sounds of approval. 

“That one’s called grookey, she’s a grass type” Leon’s voice startled you and caused you to fall back, he caught you just before you hit the ground and gently pulled you back up.

“Woah, sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to startle you” 

“I-it’s ok” you muttered. You could tell how strong he was as he lifted you without breaking a sweat. It was sort of intimidating.

You gently sat skitty down on the floor and reached out your hand to grookey, she gently sniffed it, before climbing up your arm and onto your shoulders. She was certainly energetic. You heard a faint chuckle behind you. 

“She definitely likes you” Leon told you. 

You looked over and saw victor gently cuddling sobble, as Hop chased scorbunny around the garden. It was slightly amusing.

Grookey nestled into your shoulder and let out a small noise of contentment, her small claws dig into your skin slightly, but you were used to that with skitty. Maybe you could take care of grookey after all, or maybe the tiredness really had got to you. Either way you were happy right now.

After a while of this Leon called the three of you back to the centre of the garden. You plucked grookey from off your shoulders and placed him back onto the ground, it protested slightly but sat still nonetheless. 

“It’s fairly obvious which ones you all want. Hop, you can have scorbunny. Victor can have sobble, and Y/N..” He looked you in the eyes and you recoiled slightly. “You want grookey, right?” 

You responded with a small nod. Whereas Hop rushed towards scorbunny, excitement radiating from him. He quickly picked up scorbunny and twirled him around. Thrilled to have gotten such a gift. Victor also looked pleased, he gently picked up sobble and held him in his arms, a wide smile plastered on his face. You stood there, a small smile on your face, yet your excitement was nothing compared to the two boys.

You allowed grookey to come to you, she did, and happily jumped straight into your arms, then wrapped itself around your shoulders, taking the stick from her hair and waving it about excitedly. 

Growlithe walked over to you, wanting attention. He jumped into your arms and barked gently, sniffing grookey to make sure she wasn’t a threat, before settling down a bit and curling up in your arms. 

You weren’t excited for long. Because then hop said a sentence that made your blood run cold. 

“Hey Lee! Why don’t you let us try the gym challenge? Now I have two Pokemon, I’ll be unstoppable!”

“H-HUH?”

The gym challenge? How? What? Where? How?  
No. There was no way on earth you would ever be able to do it. Especially after the stunt you pulled today.

Leon looked at you, obviously noticing your panicked expression.

“Woah, slow down a bit. You only just got your Pokemon Hop. The gym challenge is no small feat.” Leon stated. “And besides, you need to be endorsed before you can even think of participating”

“Come on Lee! You can endorse us! You’re the champion, you must be able to!” Hop pleaded. “Anyways, I’ve watched every single one of your battles. I know tons already!” 

“I’d like to participate, but I agree that we have lots to learn beforehand” Victor said, Hop still looking desperate.

You stood there in disbelief, no. Never. There was no way you were doing this. No matter how fun or tempting it sounded. You were sure Hop and Victor would do fine. They both really wanted it after all. But it was impossible for you. How on earth could you when a tiny crowd freaked you out. 

Taking a deep breath in you looked towards Leon.

“Tell you what, why don’t you and Victor have a battle! If I see you are worthy to be endorsed, then I’ll consider it” Leon said with a grin.

Hop jumped up and punched the air in excitement. Now was his chance to show off everything he learned. Victor smiled, looking excited, but his smile faded when he looked over at you. Seeing you looking at the ground, covering your face in your Growlithe’s fur.

“What about Y/N?” Victor asked Leon

“Hm?”

Leon looked back at you and you forced yourself to pull your eyes up to meet his, you felt yourself shrink away under his gaze.

“Do you want to give it a shot, Y/N?” His tone was soft and not threatening. You didn’t feel pressured to say yes or to overthink the answer. 

“I-I’m not sure” you managed to stammer.

“Aw, come on mate! It’s no fun if we don’t all do it together” Hop whined. “Besides, the stadium won’t be THAT packed, it’s not like it’s one of Lees matche- OW” Hop was cut off by Victor elbowing him hard. 

“It’s up to you Y/N, if you don’t want to then we won’t force you.” Victor reassured you. He shot a glare in Hop’s direction. 

There was silence for a few seconds, you knew you would never be able to do it, but everyone was looking at you, their expectations felt like they were crushing you. Saying no was so selfish. After Leon went out of his way to endorse you, he shouldn’t even bother with such a failure. And Hop and Victor should be here either, you didn’t deserve it, you don’t deserve anything-

“Tell you what” Leon said, clapping his hands together. “I’ll let Y/N think about it while you two battle, do your best, both of you!” He said with a grin.

You walked over to Leon while Victor and Hop took their places on the small battle pitch.

As Victor sent out his Sobble and Hop sent out his wooloo, Leon whispered to you.

“I get that it’s scary, being in front of crowds.” You looked up at him and he smiled.

“I won’t force you to take part, but take it from me. You’ve got a lot of potential, you only have to take one look at any of your Pokemon to see you treat them spectacularly.” He reached out a hand to your growlithe and patted its head gently. 

You nodded, feeling slightly comforted. You looked back over to the battle and saw that Hop’s wooloo has just been knocked out. His scorbunny leaped out, looking ready for action.

“Victor’s sobble has water gun, it’s super effective against scorbunny.” You said to yourself.

“See, you already know your way around type advantages!” Said Leon. You were startled that he heard you and jumped back a bit. He chuckled and looked at you while smiling. 

“Like I said, you have potential. So if you want to try the gym challenge then go for it!” 

A small smile appeared on your face. You were thankful that Leon was ok with your shyness. You could see why Hop looked up to him so much.

You looked over and saw scorbunny faint. Hop recalling him and sighing. “I can’t believe I lost! I’ve seen every one of Lee’s matches!” 

Leon smiled and walked towards both of them. “That was an amazing battle! I can see you will both become great trainers already!” 

“Even though I lost” hop pouted. 

“Defeat just makes you stronger! There’s no use getting hung up on your losses but it’s also not a good idea to forget them. You have to look back and learn from your mistakes” Leon said, placing a hand on his younger brothers shoulder, earning a grin from Hop. 

Victor laughed slightly at the exchange and walked over to you. 

“First, we need to get you three Pokédexs. You can’t call yourself a trainer without one. Head over to Wedgehurst, you’ll find Sonia there.” Leon said, taking his hand off Hop’s shoulder and walking over to you and Victor, Hop followed.


	5. Endorsements

Chapter 5

Endorsements 

“There you go Lee, always rattling on about being a trainer” Hop’s mum stepped outside and called to the four of you. “Enough of that for one night, dinner is ready” you noticed the meat and vegetables sizzling on the grill and your mouth started to water, but you felt horrible about eating at a house that wasn’t your own. You would just look greedy. 

“Ah- no I should really head home now, I don’t want to be a bother to you” you said nervously.

“Nonsense!” Hop said, wrapping his arm around your neck playfully and dragging you towards the grill “Come on Y/N, you must be starved” he grabbed a skewer and shoved it into your hands, growlithe jumping down and growling. Hop put various Vegetables and chunks of meat onto his skewer while you backed away slowly. 

Growlithe barked at your feet, it was evident that he was hungry, so were you. Although sad, it made you feel slightly better that you weren’t the only one that would go hungry for a while.

You gently made your way over to the tree in the corner of the garden. You set the skewer down and leaned back as you felt the cold bark against your back, growlithe rubbed its fluffy forehead against your hand. As you looked over at Victor and Hop excitedly rambling about the gym challenge while cramming down food. It smelled delicious and looked even better, yet you knew you couldn’t risk looking like a pig. Especially not when there were other people around. 

“Not hungry?” You heard a voice say next to you.

You jumped, startled that someone else was next to you. Looking to your left you saw a man with long lavender hair and golden eyes smiling at you. Kneeling on the grass next to you. Your startled mind tried and failed to form a sentence.

Leon chuckled slightly then handed you a skewer with meat and vegetables piled on it. You salivated at the sight of it, but gently shook your head. He frowned and said “Hm? But you’ve not eaten all day. I didn’t poison it you know” he joked.

“I’m not hungry” you protested meekly.

As if on cue, your stomach growled loudly as you said that, Leon laughed and pressed it into your hands. 

“Your stomach says otherwise, I didn’t know what to get you so I just got some of everything” he bit into the skewer in his other hand, clearly enjoying his food.

You took a small nibble of a piece near the top. The flavours spread across your tongue and perked up every part of you. It was so delicious. You took another small nibble as you saw Leon taking huge bites from his. 

As you peeled a small piece of meat from the skewer to give to growlithe, Leon said

“You know, if you want something, you can just ask. You don’t need to worry about what others think” his eyes were reassuring, it felt like you could tell him anything.

Yet you stuck with “It’s harder than you think” 

All of your feelings were conflicting. You were dead set on refusing the endorsement, yet watching Hop and Victors match was way different from watching matches on the telly, it felt so lively, so intense and tempting.

“It’s always better to try and fail than to not try at all. Remember that, kiddo” Leon said as he gently ruffled your hair. 

You smiled, and for the first time in a while, you laughed. Leon look surprised but smiled back. 

“I’ll try” you whispered 

He nodded, then got to his feet.

“Anyways, want to get seconds? There’s still tons of it left!” He pulled you to your feet

“O-oh, no thanks, I’m full” you protested, as Leon dragged you towards Hop and Victor.

You weren’t lying, it felt like there was a lump in your stomach, a knot of dread begging you not to do what you were considering. Yet it sounded so fun. But how? Like a kaleidoscope of emotions rolling around your head. 

It was scary, yet you felt excited too.

—————————

The Pokédex, it sounded so weird to say out loud, it’s something everyone knew about, yet you hadn’t got one yet, surprisingly. Nonetheless, now you had one, installed in your rotom phone, staring back at you. With every second that passed the weight of what you were doing sunk in a little bit more. 

“I’m going to do the gym challenge” 

It was so exciting, or at least that’s the part you focused on. Like always, the little voice in the back of your mind wouldn’t be quiet, yet you tried to drown it out.

“Why even try? You’re going to fail, just like your mum.”  
“Like someone as sad as you could even stand a chance”  
“You’ll just be free exp”

As you took a deep breath, you walked away from the Pokemon lab and towards the Pokemon Center. It was surreal, for sure. Hell, you weren’t even convinced you were going to go through with this. But after all that Hop and Victor said last night, refusing felt so selfish. You couldn’t disappoint them, Leon either. So what other choice did you have? 

Handing over your 5 pokeballs to the lady behind the counter, you considered it one more time. A crowded stadium, all eyes on you, the pressure to succeed? It gave you a feeling of nausea. So you decided to not think about it, at least until you met with professor Magnolia. Taking back your restored Pokemon, you exited the Pokemon centre and headed down the path to Magnolia’s house. 

Along the way, you encountered a wild Rookidee. It was small, and obviously weak, probably around level 6. Yet this would be a great time to test your battling skills. There was no one around after all?

Hands trembling, you reached for musdale’s pokeball.

“Go musdale!” You tried to say as loud as you could, similar to what trainers you saw on telly did, yet your voice came out shaky and unsure. Yet you powered through as best you could.

What moves does musdale have? You remember your mum telling you, yet it was hard to recall. It was a ground type so it must know ground type moves? But Rookidee is flying type? What about rock moves? What if it misses? What if I lose this first battle? 

You took a deep breath to calm yourself, as you saw the Rookidee smash into musdale’s hoof, the damage was small, almost unnoticeable. Ah, that’s right, musdale was trained for Raihan, so he’s on a much higher level, with much better stats. 

Suddenly, you remembered. Rock slide! Yes that’s it! Musdale definitely knows that one. You called the attack out, just before the Rookidee was about to land another hit. It instantly knocked out the Rookidee, you felt kind of sorry for it. But, you won! You actually won your first ever Pokemon battle! Yes sure, it was a pretty unfair battle, but you still won! It felt amazing

You could understand how this feeling could be addicting.

Yet now your feelings were only more confusing. Now you felt so amazing after battling, but that’s only because you won, right? It gave you a feeling of power, you didn’t need to run, you didn’t need to worry about being a burden. You wanted to feel that feeling forever! However, there was always the possibility of you losing. Then you would feel even worse. The trainer endorsed by the champion, losing every battle. Leon would look like a fool for endorsing you. Victor and Hop would think you were an embarrassment to be around. You would lose everything. 

No! Stop it! Stop thinking that way. You just have to try. 

You grabbed onto Musdale’s sides and vaulted onto his back, taking care to avoid any more encounters as you went down the path towards Magnolia’s house. You could see Hop and Victor already at the door, waiting for you. You dug your heels into Musdale’s sides, signalling him to go faster. 

Victor spotted you as you crossed the small bridge, he yelled your name and ran up to you, Hop followed.

“Hey Y/N! It’s time for our endorsements! You excited?” Hop asked. Hop himself was visibly ecstatic, his signature grin on his face and overall body language radiated positivity.

“Y-yeah, I’m still not sure if I’m going to do it or not though” you said with a sigh, pulling your body towards the boys and jumping down from Musdale.

“That’s ok! It’s brilliant that you are even considering it in the first place, the old Y/N never would have done that, ever” Victor reassured you. It felt nice, and a small smile crept onto your face. 

All of a sudden, the door was flung open, and in the doorway you saw professor magnolia, walking cane in her hand.

“Hello, Hop, Victor, Y/N, come on in.” She spoke

You followed behind Victor and Hop, you had met the professor before, everyone had, yet you had never been into her house before. It was quite old, and had the familiar smell of an antique shop. You immediately noticed Leon standing by the table in the centre of the main room, signature grin on his face.

“So, are you three ready for your adventures to begin?”

All the moisture in your mouth completely dried up, the familiar feeling of uncertainty cane back to you at full force, like being hit by a truck. Thankfully, Hop and Victor’s enthusiasm easily disguised your slightly panicked expression.

“Brilliant! I already have these written out” Leon handed Victor and Hop each a small scroll of paper held together with red ribbon. However he didn’t hand you anything. Hopefully he forgot he wanted to endorse all three of you, and just let Hop and Victor have their endorsements, although unlikely it would certainly save you a lot of worry. 

Sadly that was not the case, as Hop and Victor were excitedly celebrating their endorsements, raving to each other about strategies for battle and all the Pokemon they were going to catch, Leon subtlety pulled you close to him. Your breathing caught in your throat as you began to panic slightly. 

“Meet me outside, there’s something I want to talk to you about” He whispered into your ear.


	6. A Champion Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I wrote this chapter and I really like this fic so far. Next chapter will be within a week or so. Whenever I have time to finish it. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 6  
A Champion Battle

(A/N - Alternate name)

Every bad thought began to run through your head, as always. However this time it was so much worse, if Leon wanted to speak to you privately, you must have done something terribly wrong.

“Was it because I ran away?”  
“Was it because I acted awkward?”  
“Was it because I wouldn’t eat?”  
“Does he think I’m not taking care of Grookey?”  
“Does he think I will be a bad trainer after all?”

You followed him outside, mind plagued with all these thoughts as he led you over to the battle grounds.

You felt like you needed to say something, break the silence, but the words wouldn’t come out, no matter how much you tried. What would you even say anyways?

Leon looked at you before saying, “It’s ok, you’re not in trouble, it just occurred to me that I’ve never seen you battle before. I want to make sure you are ready”

“B-but I never said I would go through with it, I’m still on the fence about all this” you said, avoiding any form of eye contact.

“I guess, but I know you will be able to do it if you just try.” Leon told you. “What harm would it do to give it a shot? If you try but fail you can forfeit if you really feel as though you can’t do it. Anyways, I’m sure you wouldn’t need to forfeit anyways, I know you can do this!” 

He sounded so upbeat, so determined, even though it wasn’t even him he was talking about. How could someone be more enthusiastic about what you were doing than you were? It didn’t affect him, but he sounded so happy. I guess that showed how much he cared. Galar really does have a champion that can bring out the best in everyone.

“Anyways, if you want the endorsement then I want to see you battle, at least once.” He continued. “So why don’t you try battling one of the Pokemon in the tall grass over there” he gestured towards the tall grass to your left, there were several Pokemon running around in it.

You nodded, despite every part of you screaming to decline. You made your way over to the y’all grass, scoping out a good opponent. You decided to use Lapras for this battle, as she never gets battle opportunities very often. 

Looking through the tall grass, you spotted a chewtle. It looked relatively weak, around level 8. You whistled to it and drew it out of the tall grass. Then threw Lapras’ pokeball onto the ground in front of you.

You could feel Leon’s presence, despite having your back turned, you felt his gaze creeping into your soul, it was intimidating, to say the least. Your bad thoughts were getting louder and louder. 

“What would Leon think of you lost to a weakling like this?”  
“I bet he’s embarrassed to be around you”  
“He’s already regretting meeting such a failure”

Breaking through your thoughts, you yelled the first move that came to your head. You remembered that your mum had taught Lapras this one to deal with Raihan.

“Sheer cold!”

It hit, surprisingly. The chewtle instantly toppled over, maybe you should have held back a little.

Lapras gave a small cry of approval before turning towards you. She could tell how insecure you were feeling, when you ran up to her and threw your arms around her neck, she only nuzzled her head against you, doing her best to calm you down.

Great. Now you go running to hug your Pokemon as soon as one person watches your battle? How would you ever be able to battle in a huge stadium? Even the feeling of victory was completely drowned out by your negative thoughts. You had to face reality. You couldn’t do it. It was completely impossible.

When you heard footsteps approaching you, you tended up every part of your body. You pulled your arms off of Lapras and ran behind her, you didn’t want to face him, even though you won the battle, the feeling of needing to hide came back. Lapras could see that and growled at Leon as he approached. You tensed up, feeling like you should be anywhere but here.

You felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry, you did great” Leon softly whispered. You turned your head away to avoid any form of eye contact.

You knew he was lying, you broke down over one person watching you battle, a battle that you won. You would never be able to be in a stadium. 

“I can’t do this.” You whispered.

“Y/N, look at me.” You reluctantly turned your head to face him, staring into his golden eyes. 

“You can do this, if you want to do it, go for it. Please don’t worry about what anybody else thinks, do what you want.” He told you.

His words resonated with you, and you managed to pull yourself away from Lapras slightly. He was right, but it wasn’t that easy. You had never done anything like this before, he made it sound like it was such a trivial thing. He never had to go through this. He doesn’t understand.

But he only wants the best for you. He wants you to be happy, to not be held down by all your negativity. That was one thing you had been trying to do, but it had been unsuccessful. Now his words felt like they were in your head, telling you it would be ok.

You firmly nodded. It was going to be ok.

Just breathe.

You felt Leon press something into your clasped hands, and when you looked down, you saw a scroll held together with a red ribbon, it looked the same as the ones Hop and Victor had received.

An endorsement.

Your endorsement.

“I’m giving you this opportunity. You can take it if you want, but I won’t force you. It’s ok if you don’t want to” he spoke. “But please remember that I believe in you, and so does Hop and Victor. I’m sure you will do great” 

You gave another small nod. Before following him back inside.

—————————

Time skip to a day later

Oh my Arceus. This can’t be happening? You were given the opportunity by the champion to compete in the gym challenge? You must be dreaming.

Growlithe barked at your feet, before jumping onto the bed beside you. You absentmindedly petted him as he paced around your bed.  
Were you actually going to go through with this?

The pros and cons were fighting in your head. Like an angel and a devil. Yet you couldn’t tell which side was the angel. On one hand, you felt so alive when battling, you felt powerful, like you didn’t need to be protected. But on the other, you panicked and broke down when only one person was watching your battle. Even after you won you still felt awful. How much worse would it be if you lost. Which one would be the best option? Is it worth the risk? It was almost impossible to decide, before one question came to the front of your mind.

“What do I want to do?”

The answer was clear, even though you had been denying it since yesterday. You really wanted to do this, anyone in your shoes would, it was so exciting, so thrilling. However one more reason game to your mind. If you managed to do it, no one would think you were weak anymore. You wouldn’t be the weak little Y/N that had to hide from everything, you would be unstoppable.

When you thought of it like that, the answer was clear.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy. You couldn’t silence the bad thoughts. Thankfully they weren’t as overpowering as last time. Sadly, they were still there, but it was good that they were quieter, that was a plus.

The weight of everything. The pressure to succeed and the crushing disappointment when you fail. Everyone would remember you as the weak little trainer that couldn’t even finish the gym challenge. Your name would be tainted with this image of a failure. How could you live with that?

You groaned and leaned back on your bed, lying completely flat. Growlithe jumped onto your chest, still looking for attention. As you reached your arm up to pet him, a thought occurred to you.

How about a compromise?

You quickly scrambled to sit upright, growlithe falling off of you and landing on the sheets beside you. As you grabbed the scroll from your bedside table, you gently pulled on the ribbon and let the scroll unroll. Your eyes quickly scanned over the paragraphs on the page.

The paragraphs contained some of your information, date of birth, star sign, full name, clothes size, shoe size, reason for endorsement, additional information and finally a signature from the one that endorsed you.

Leon had foolishly filled out the form in pencil, that would be easy to edit. With just a few strokes of a pencil, all the responsibility and pressure would be taken off you and put onto someone else, an alter ego? Wait. No. This was absurd! And definitely not allowed. You would be in a lot of trouble if you got found out, but this seemed like the best option. A win-win for everybody. You got to participate in the challenge while not having any of the pressure of being yourself. You got to have fun battling without worrying about what others think, after all, they only think that about your alter ego, not you. 

A name just came to you all of a sudden. Yes! Perfect! A/N! No one would ever know it was you.   
With just a few pencil strokes, the name on the endorsement was changed from Y/N to A/N.

After changing the name, you looked down at what Leon had filled in for your other information. The date of birth was correct, clothes size and shoe size too, but your attention was drawn to the 3rd last box. Reason for endorsement. You were hesitant to read it, it could discourage you further, unfortunately your curiosity made it impossible to not read. 

Thankfully, there was nothing bad written. It seemed very copy-paste. All the general stuff about you having potential to be a great trainer and having seen that you had a great battle strategy. Leon probably wrote almost the same thing in Victor and Hop’s endorsements.

Before you decided to tie it all back up, you realised one small problem. You were endorsed by Leon. That’s hardly a thing people are going to keep quiet. The champion had never endorsed trainers before, so this would be a hot topic for certain. It would be fairly obvious who you really were if a mysterious trainer that just so happened to be one of the only 3 trainers endorsed by the champion. Hop, Leon and Victor would figure it out in a heartbeat. Thankfully, your attention was drawn to the second last box, an easy solution.

Under the additional info box, you wrote the following sentences.

“She wishes to remain anonymous. Please use the name provided and do not mention who she was endorsed by. Her endorsement must be kept private and only League staff are allowed to handle it. Please respect her privacy”

Sure, it wasn’t the best, but it worked.

As soon as you set the pencil down, the reality of what you were doing set in. It was crazy, irrational. No one would ever go through with this. Except you. But everyone would recognise you instantly. You would have to wear a mask, and sunglasses. You would also have to change your hair. The chance of people recognising you should be as low as possible. You had a bit of money, that would do. 

You carefully rolled up the scroll before gently tying the ribbon back onto it. Before setting it down, grabbing your new Dynamax band that you got yesterday from your beside table and slipping it onto your wrist. Then you grabbed the bag sitting by the door, and ran out the door, growlithe trailing behind you.  
———————

You walked out the store, satisfied with what you had done. You had bought a mask, dark sunglasses with a red tint, and some cheap hair chalk. As for the clothes, you had got an oversized black hoodie with black baggy jeans. You would look very suspicious, but it was worth it. 

All through the walk home, thoughts of what you were doing pounded in your head.   
“This is crazy, your actually going to do the gym challenge”

As you passed Hop’s house, through the kitchen window, you saw Leon and Hop talking, most likely about tactics for battle. Hop was very clearly doing most of the talking. 

A smile appeared on your face 

“I’ll make you proud, Hop”

————————


	7. Motostoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, my life has been super busy recently so sorry for the delay. Idk what else to say but I hope you enjoy reading

Chapter 7  
Motostoke 

The beeping of your alarm woke you from your slumber. 

The excitement was a new feeling for you. For once you didn’t feel scared, you weren’t nervous to go outside. You were.... happy? It was confusing, to say the least. However, you didn’t have time to wait around. The Opening Ceremony was at 7PM. You had a lot to do before then.

Skitty and growlithe were already awake, at the foot of your bed, meowing and barking. You didn’t think twice about leaping straight out of bed, the usual cold of the floor not affecting you. It didn’t matter right now. 

Still in your pyjamas, you threw food into Musdale and Lapras’ large bowls, before throwing their pokeballs out and allowing them to eat. You then grabbed the two smaller Pokemon’s bowls and filled them, they instantly chowed down, spraying food crumbs everywhere. Now was your first challenge of the day. Find out what kind of food grookey likes. 

You allowed grookey to spring from her pokeball, she began to run around the kitchen, inspecting her surroundings, before jumping on top of the fridge. A sigh escaped your lips. Today wasn’t going to be easy, but it sure was going to be fun. 

Racking your brain, you decided that grookey would probably prefer plant based Pokemon food. However you didn’t know what kind so you mixed some of Lapras’ and Musdale’s food together in a smaller bowl. It didn’t look too appetising, so you grabbed a large Sitrus berry from the bowl on t he table, and a small knife from the kitchen drawer. You sliced the berry into small chunks them mixed the chunks into the bowl. Still didn’t look great, but hey, it was an improvement.

You placed the bowl down on the floor before stepping away. Grookey jumped down from the fridge to investigate what was in the bowl. She gently took a small piece between her fingers, and reluctantly popped it into her mouth. She then took another piece, then another, then another, until she was eating the same as skitty and growlithe.

Task 1, complete. You smiled to yourself.

Now it was time to work on your own look. 

You ran to your bedroom, and grabbed the clothes from the plastic carrier bag. Discarding your pyjamas. You noticed how soft the material of the hoodie was as you slipped it over your head. It was baggy, almost like a blanket. You felt extremely cosy and warm. It felt brilliant. As you slipped on the jeans and mask, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You were almost unrecognisable. The hoodie was definitely not something you would ever wear, but it seemed to suit you. Maybe you would wear baggy clothes more often after the gym challenge was over. You held the sunglasses and hair chalk in your hands as you made your way towards the bathroom.

You set your hair chalk on the shelf and looked at the hair care supplies on your shelf. It would be best to try a new hairstyle. Something you don’t do often. Normally you let your hair hang down, but this wasn’t you, it was A/N. 

You experimented with a few styles. A bun? Looked too messy. Braid? Looked weird with the hoodie. High Ponytail? Wouldn’t fit under the hood. Twin braids? Nope, that didn’t look right either. How about..... twin tails? Yeah! You admired yourself in the mirror. You looked so much younger, carefree. Even under the mask you looked more confident.

Now here comes the difficult part. You grabbed the hair chalk from the shelf and trapped a few strands of hair in it. As you gently pulled on the chalk, the hairs came away a dark purple colour.   
Perfect! This would work. You repeated the process, more and more hairs turned purple, after a while you ran a comb through your twin tails, the purple formed a nice gradient, darker near the bottom and more natural near the top. It looked nothing like your normal drab hair. As you ran your fingers through your newly coloured hair, a thought occurred to you.

“What if someone recognises my Pokemon?”

That one thought very quickly put a damper on your good mood. How many people my age have a musdale, Lapras, growlithe, skitty and grookey? Leon and Hop would easily be able to recognise your team if you ever used any of them in battle. Unless....?

You whistled growlithe to come into the bathroom. It was a stupid idea, but so was everything else up to this point. 

You leaned down to him and rubbed the purple chalk near the roots of his fluffy hair and tail. He looked ridiculous, yet it would work to stop people from recognising him. He barked in disapproval. Hm, well it worked for right now. You would only have to use growlithe for a little while anyways, while you figured out how to disguise the other Pokemon.

As you sat the hair chalk back on the counter, you smiled to yourself and slipped the sunglasses on.

Step 2, complete.

Your bag was already packed, full of potions and pokeballs. Leon’s endorsement gently sitting at the top of the bag. As you rushed to recall all your Pokemon back to their balls, you almost forgot a crucial item. Your Dynamax band, sitting on top of your bedside table. You quickly snapped it onto your wrist before running out the door, bag swinging on your back.

Step 3, get to the wild area before Hop and Victor. No doubt they would take the wild area route to Motostoke. You needed to get there before them to do some much needed training. Growlithe had no battle experience at all, that was something you needed to fix. 

It seemed as though the train journey was over in a heartbeat, or maybe it was your excitement showing. You couldn’t wait. This really was a brand new adventure.

As soon as you stepped off the train, a gust of cold hit your skin. It sent shivers down every part of your body. Yet you weren’t unhappy. This was great! Ice types would be the perfect opponents.

Huge grin on your face, you ran towards the tall grass. Spotting several Vanillish’s. Your grin got wider. It was time to get used to battle.

You ran towards one, hand already wrapped around growlithe’s pokeball. Under the mask you felt so much more free, and there was no one around either. It felt like your own personal paradise. The normal stream of negative thoughts in your head was a lot quieter. Almost inaudible under all your excitement. Growlithe sprang from his pokeball, ready for action. The purple streaks in his tuft of hair looked hilarious, it would definitely make an impression.

“Ember” you called out.

Growlithe spat a small flame at the Vanillish, it was very weak, and it was evident that growlithe wasn’t used to battles, unlike Musdale or Lapras. Still, the super effective hit was enough to K.O the Vanillish. That makes your 3rd win. Even better, the feeling of your first win came back. Pure joy and excitement flowed through every part of your body like a rushing river. None of the feelings from your second battle resurfaced, which is what you were scared of. Thankfully it didn’t. Meaning it was probably because you were being watched. 

You didn’t even return Growlithe to his pokeball, you just led him to another Vanillish only a few steps away and shouted the same command. 4th win. Then 5th win. Then after a long process of repeating this over and over, you were at your 13th win. Growlithe was exhausted, so were you. Luckily it seemed like growlithe was getting used to using his strength against opponents. His ember seemed a bit stronger than when you first set off. It was a minor improvement, but still an improvement nonetheless.

You held growlithe’s pokeball up and recalled him. You didn’t want to make him walk even more to get to Motostoke. Instead you considered letting out musdale and using him as your means of transportation. However you decided it wasn’t worth the risk. You couldn’t risk anyone seeing you with musdale. You couldn’t leave even the slightest risk of getting caught. The only other option was to walk. That was fine. The exercise would do you good. 

As you made your way to Motostoke, you looked around at all the various Pokemon in the wild area. They all looked so cool, so unique, each one so special yet so similar. You made a mental note of Pokemon you would consider catching as you walked by each one. You were tempted to try catch one already, but you already had 5 team members. It would be best to wait a little until you got any more. After all, it would be cruel to catch a Pokemon and leave them in a box all the time. 

After what felt like forever, you encountered a large set of stairs. They seemed ginormous, and your aching feet hated you for choosing to walk all the way to Motostoke. Your pain increased with each step you took. You felt blisters starting to form. Just great. You would have to spend even more of your funds to get some cream for them. 

After what felt like forever. You took the last step up the staircase and the huge street came into view. There was everything you could ever need. Herb shops, clothes shops, merchandise, Pokemon centres. It was overwhelming just looking at it. Normally you would never have the courage to set a single foot in here. The crowds and loud noises would have felt suffocating. Your mask felt like it was protecting you. Like no one could ever hurt you. It was absurd but comforting nonetheless.

The Pokemon centre was your first priority. Growlithe must have been exhausted. Especially after never having battled before today. You handed over all 5 of your pokeballs to the lady behind the counter and she placed them in the machine. As your Pokemon were healing you thought of strategies. To keep your identity secret. Hop, Leon and Victor night click if your Pokemon are all the same. You would have to do something to change them. More hair chalk? Nah, too obvious. Catch more Pokemon? You couldn’t abandon your current team. It was certainly troubling. Oh well. You would only need growlithe for the first gym. He looked different enough to not cause suspicion.

You took back your pokeballs and ran outside. Taking a quick glance at the clock. 2:37 PM. Time really does fly, but you still had enough time to get in another round of training with growlithe. All you had to do was pray that Hop and Victor don’t come across you. 

—————————

You had been training for a while. Knocking out several grass and ice opponents. Along the way, growlithe learned Fire Spin! Brilliant! Your chances of success were much higher now. Plus, you didn’t encounter Hop or Victor along the way. Although that may be because you stuck to a corner of the wild area, too scared to come closer to the centre in fear of encountering either of the two. 

The time was now 6:00 PM. One hour until the opening ceremony. Just saying it in your head made your heart beat faster. It was like a dream. The old you never would have done anything like this. Leon’s little visit had definitely made a huge impact. He didn’t know it yet, but he had completely changed you. Even though it was small, and you couldn’t take off the mask or tell anybody. It was a start. 

The journey up the huge staircase felt so much less painful. You were too excited, and nothing could slow you down. Right?

You ran towards the stadium. The lights were already on, and there was already quite a few challengers inside. As you entered the building, you spotted a girl with black twin tails, similar to you, and gave her a small wave. She shyly waved back. She looked adorable. Her dress and jacket combo suited her so well, and she obviously looked pretty strong. You turned your attention towards the counter, a league staff member standing behind it. 

“Hi, are you a gym challenger?” He asked 

You nodded firmly and pulled the small scroll out of your bag and slid it across the counter towards him. His eyes quickly skimmed over it, before he placed it into a small box with a few other sheets of paper, presumably the other challengers endorsements. Before turning back towards you.

“You are certainly a unique one, A/N, I’ll let you wear your mask and sunglasses with your challenger uniform, and of course I will give the order to the rest of the league staff”.

You thanked him. You were slightly worried they would reject your request, tell you to take off the mask. This made it a lot easier. The anonymity was nice to have. Privacy is key after all.

“So, what number should I put on your uniform?” 

“(Number), please” 

“Great, welcome to the gym challenge, challenger (number)”   
He looked into a box and pulled out a challenger top and shorts in your size, with your number.  
You thanked him and grabbed it eagerly, making a beeline for the changing rooms. As soon as you shut the cubicle door, all your emotions overwhelmed you.

“I’m actually doing this? I have the uniform right here, in my hands.”  
“No one expected this, not even me”  
“I won’t be able to pull this off”  
“Why did I agree to this?”  
“Why do I feel happy about it?”

The questions fluttered around your head like rouge butterflies. Every part of you was screaming to not do this. Every part of you was screaming to do this. Nothing made sense. How could this feel so good yet so bad at the same time?

As you slipped on the challenger outfit. The questions in your mind still rang loud and clear. As you desperately attempted to push them away. You just needed to forget about all that. Just enjoy it for what it was. For the bittersweet experience it was. 

Looking in the mirror seemed to only intensify the thoughts. Your uncertainty and excitement were in a fierce battle. However no matter how you looked at it. You liked it. It felt scary, like somewhere you had never explored, but it felt so good. It felt like you had finally done something you always wanted to. Even if that was a subconscious thought. 

You stepped out the cubicle and into the bright lights of the waiting area. The other challengers were already sitting there. You counted at least 24, but there was probably more still to arrive. 

Just as you thought that, two more people walked out from cubicles next to you. Hop and Victor. Talk about rubbish luck. You quickly averted your gaze and swiftly walked to the bench farthest from where they were standing. Luckily, they stayed by the cubicle to talk to each other. Despite it being all the way at the other side of the room, they both talked loud enough to be able to clearly hear their conversation.

“Calm down Hop, your going to scare the other challengers.”  
“Sorry, I just can’t believe I’m actually here you know? I’ll finally be able to accomplish my dream. I’ll win the gym challenge, beat Lee, and become the brand new champion!”  
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, you have a very long ways to go yet. You don’t even have your first badge yet.” Victor scolded.

You smiled to yourself, this was so like them. Unfazed by everything. Eternal optimists.

“Anyways, most of these challengers look pretty tough, I don’t think any of them would go down easy.”  
“I guess your right. Although we are definitely the strongest.” Hop replied  
“Oh! Look at her. I’ve never seen a gym challenger with a mask before!”  
You heard Victor shushing Hop.   
“Be quiet, you can’t just say that Hop! she can probably hear us from here.” Victor lectured.  
“Ah, sorry. Still! I wanna go over and say hello. I wonder what her deal is.”  
Victor shushed him again  
“Ok, fine. But don’t say anything obnoxious”

Brilliant, you heard footsteps coming towards you and you looked up, Hop’s familiar grin filled your vision. Victor a few steps behind.

“Hey! I’m Hop, what’s your name?”


	8. Turrfeild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had a bunch of free time recently. I really should have split this part into two chapters to be honest. But I’m already working on the scene with Nessa and I want to get it out as fast as possible. Anyways, new chapter coming in a few days. Enjoy!

Oh Arceus. Hop would definitely recognise your voice. They have known you for years, but you couldn’t just not respond. What on earth could you do?

You took a deep breath in and looked Hop directly in the eyes. You tried to completely change the tone of your voice from your usual quiet mumble to be more confident.

“Hi, I’m A/N, it’s nice to meet you” your voice came out a lot louder than you intended and you internally cringed. A few of the gym challengers turned towards you and a sweat broke out on your forehead.

Hop grabbed your hand and eagerly shook it. 

“I’ve never seen a challenger with a mask before. You shy or something?” He questioned. Victor jumped in and elbowed Hop. 

“Hop! You can’t just say that!” He hissed at Hop. He turned back to you. “I apologise, Hop isn’t really good at reading the room.”

“Oh, it’s fine” you reassured them both. “Actually, I wear this mask because I...... uh.... I don’t like showing my face in public.... yeah.....” you tried to sound as confident as you could. Even as you trailed off you tried to sound confident.

“Hmm? But there’s no need to be shy. No one is gonna judge you for your appearance or anything. Only for your skills.” Hop replied. 

“I wish it was that easy” 

“You kind of remind me of one of my friends, Y/N. She should be here right now. I wonder if she got held up” Hop wondered out loud. 

“Hop, for the last time. She never said she was going to do this. She only said she would accept the endorsement. If I’m honest, I highly doubt she will actually be here.” Victor told him.

Victor’s words were like a knife in your chest. Is that what they thought of you? That you were weak and couldn’t do this? How could you blame them. You probably wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for Leon. Yet it still hurt to think that they thought of you this way. 

“Oh! Look at the time. It’s time to go out.” Victor said as he dragged Hop towards the entrance to the stadium. “See you there, A/N” 

It was time. Finally. Your heart felt like it was about to beat right out of your chest. Your breathing was heavy and behind your mask you were sweating bullets. Everything felt so awful, but so good at the same time. 

You took a few steps forward, seeing the crowd already waiting in the stadium. Nausea crept through your body. As you listened to the announcement over the speaker.

———————

Leon looked down at the pitch as the Chairman made his announcement. He wasn’t too invested in it. He was more eager to see his little brother out on the pitch. 

He was also curious if he had convinced you to try the gym challenge. He hoped his words had gotten through to you.

As the chairman’s announcement wrapped up, the gym leaders walked out from one end of the stadium. The chairman giving them each an introduction. The crowd cheered, the chairman knew how to get a crowd fired up.

Leon was on the edge of his seat as he watched the challengers emerge from the other side of the stadium. He immediately spotted Hop, then Victor. A huge grin pulled at his face. He scanned the rest of the challengers to see if you were among them. All the challengers looked so unique. Bright hair, bright eyes, one was even wearing a mask. His face fell slightly when he saw you weren’t among them, but he tried to hide his disappointment as the crowd cheered.

Unbeknownst to him, you were very much there. And you were terrified.

The cheering, the people around you, the bright lights, the cameras. Everything was too much, but there was nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run. You were trapped. With only your heavy breathing and frantic heartbeat. 

All eyes were towards you, or the challengers around you. The camera swooped around you. Everything was on you, and you hated it. All the positive feelings you had in the changing rooms evaporated, and there was nothing you could to except stand and wait for it all to be over.

You lined up in front of the gym leaders. You were situated right in front of Raihan. Which only made your anxiety worse. Everything felt like it was closing in around you. You felt tears starting to roll down your face. Luckily covered by the mask and sunglasses. Why did you agree to this? Why did you ever think you could do this? The only positive was that no one could see your tears. You had done everything Leon wanted. Everything that people wanted from you. Everything you wanted. Yet here you were, crying behind a mask, in front of thousands of people.

Why were you such a failure?

As soon as the cheering subsided, and you followed the other challengers back to the changing room area. You realised how bad the situation was. You didn’t even want to do the challenge anymore, but you were in too deep now. There was no way you could forfeit. You rushed into one of the cubicles and violently stripped the challenger uniform from your body, discarding it on the floor as you forced your tears to stop. After pulling on your jeans and hoodie, you took a look at yourself in the full length mirror. 

“Pathetic” 

You didn’t bother to talk to anyone, you didn’t bother to look for anyone. You tilted your head down and ran out the cubicle, out the changing area and out the main door. You had to push through a small crowd, and you heard lots of whispers about who you were and what you looked like behind the mask. You hated it all. Why? Why did you do this to yourself?

You didn’t care how much your feet hurt. You didn’t care how much of a mess you looked. You just wanted to be home. 

You ran towards the staircase, and into the wild area. 

—————— 

You managed to find a secluded corner of the wild area. Near the lake but private enough to not be noticeable easily. You ripped off your mask and sunglasses, let your hair down, and threw out your pokeballs. All of your Pokemon spring free, giving several unique noises of contentment. 

Your Musdale was the first to notice your red face and bloodshot eyes.

He walked up to you, and pushed his head next to you. You clung to his head and buried your face into his coarse mane. Letting your tears run free. You didn’t even attempt to silence your sobs. Your other Pokemon noticed and came over to comfort you. The smaller ones rubbed against your legs while Lapras nuzzled your face gently.

It only took a few minutes for your sobbing to slow. Pokemon really are the best at comforting. You walked over to the corner of the lake and dunked your head in it, allowing the cool water to wash your salty cheeks. The purple hair chalk dispersing into the water, returning your hair to its regular colour. 

You took a huge breath in and gave your Pokemon a smile. It was at that point your phone buzzed. You took it out of your pocket and saw one new message from Hop.

“Hey! Did you see me in the opening ceremony? Cool right! Anyways, me and Victor are coming over to say Hi and tell you all about it.”

You gasped. Great, you had to get back. And fast. Flying taxi would be the fastest way. You quickly dialled the number for a flying taxi, and recalled your Pokemon as you waited for it to arrive.

—————

Thanking the driver and giving a tip, you ran into your house, shoved the bag into your closet, and tried to act as though you had been in the house all day. You grabbed a book from the bookshelf, turned to a random page, then threw yourself onto the couch and acted as though you had been reading. 

Just in the nick of time. As less than a few minutes later, the door opened and you heard Hop and Victor’s familiar voices.

“Hey Y/N! What have you been up to?” Victor asked, Hop jumped onto the couch by your feet.

“Oh, uhhh..... I’ve just been reading” you lied. “I saw you in the opening ceremony, you looked really happy!” 

“I know right? It was amazing! Being in front of all those people, it felt so good!” Hop rambled. “If you told me you weren’t going to come I could have gotten you tickets to watch.” 

“I guess, but the crowds are scary. Even just being in them is too intimidating for me.” You lied. You don’t know why you lied. They would be so proud of you if they knew. But you couldn’t. What if you lost at the first gym? What if you couldn’t do it? There was no way you could let them know you were A/N. You were in this alone.

“We met a bunch of other challengers! There’s this one called Marine and she’s really sweet. There’s also Bede, he’s mean. I don’t like Bede much. Oh! There’s also this really cool challenger that wears a mask because she’s shy. She’s really cool too.”

You tried to hold back a laugh from the irony of the situation. Hop, talking about you, to you, without even knowing it. It made your insecurities fade slightly.

“She sounds cool for sure.” You responded.

“Anyways, phase 1 of the challenge starts tomorrow. I’m super excited. What day are you challenging Milo, Victor?”

“Well I still need to do some training, probably day 2”

“Phase 1? What does that mean?”

“Huh? Have you never watched the gym challenge before?” Hop asked you. You shook your head in response.

“Ah, ok, let the brilliant Hop be your tutor.” Victor rolled his eyes as Hop boasted. “So the gym challenge is like a timed challenge. You have three days to challenge each gym. You can challenge the gym leader any time during those three days, and challenge them as many times as you like, but you must defeat them within the three days, or else you are disqualified from the challenge.” Hop went on.

“A lot of people challenge the Leaders on day 2 or 3, because it helps to train for a day before challenging them.” Victor followed up with.   
“Oh, also” Hop butted in. “Weekends are free days. You can’t challenge a Leader over the weekend, they are like free training days. It resumes on the Monday.” 

“What Hop is trying to say is. This year, Milo is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Then Nessa is Thursday, Friday and Monday. That make sense?” 

You nodded. It made sense to have time limits, the finals had to happen by a certain date after all. It just meant there was a bit more pressure to finish the challenge. It could have been a LOT worse. At least they hadn’t clicked that you were actually A/N. 

“Ah, I get it.” You said to them. “Good luck you two, I’m sure you will do great.” 

“Thanks Y/N. Ah, I forgot. Lee wanted to talk to you. He told us both to come along as well. I wonder what that’s about?” Hop told you.

“Ah, no. Umm, I forgot to tell you that I.... Uhhh..... I’m going to be busy for a while!” You stuttered. It was a terrible excuse, but you would be A/N for a while, and you couldn’t risk them seeing you changing. 

“Huh? For how long?” Victor asked.

“A few weeks, I- uh, I’ve got to go berry hunting! Growlithe needs some Pomeg berries but they are super rare. It will take me a while to find the amount I need.” Really? Berry hunting? There was no way they would believe that. 

“Ah! I know Lee has a bunch of pomeg berries, I could ask him to give you some. Anyways, he wants to meet tomorrow night. Let’s all meet at my house!” Hop continued. You were surprised that Hop even believed your obvious lie. But you were glad he did. 

“Y-yeah! I’ll see you two tomorrow then.”

“Great! Anyways, we should head home. I need to get a good nights sleep so that I can train all day tomorrow. See you later Y/N!”

Victor and Hop walked out the front door, and you turned the key behind them. As soon as they had left, you sunk down and curled into a ball. 

For some reason you laughed.

It was insane, but it made you feel so much better when you heard Hop talking about you and A/N as if they were separate people. It made no sense, you should feel even worse now, but you didn’t . Somehow Hop had unknowingly motivated you to keep going. You kept on laughing. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

—————————

You walked down the dark Galar mines, wearing your mask and sunglasses. Your heart was beating so loud in your chest you were convinced all of galar could hear it. You only had a few hours before you challenged the first gym. Despite how much time you had, you had decided to do it on the first day. You didn’t know why. It just made your feelings even worse. As you reached the end of the tunnel, the light got your face and you recoiled slightly, allowing your eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness. The extra experience from the opponents you faced in the mine allowed growlithe to learn fire fang. It would be a tough battle, but you could do it. Hopefully.

You could already see Turffeild in the distance, the stadium clearly visible. A slight wave of nausea washed over you, but you pushed forwards anyways. 

You walked down the paths, deciding to avoid the grass. You didn’t need to catch any more Pokemon, so you headed straight into Turffeild. Just as you were about to walk down the last hill, you heard someone yelling something.  
You turned around and were instantly knocked over by a wooloo rolling into your legs at full force. You managed to soften the fall slightly with your hands, but your thighs and calves still stung a lot. 

You gently pushed the wooloo away, body still sore, when you saw a pair of familiar boots in front of you. Your heart rate plummeted as you looked up, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was. Sadly, it was. 

“Oh dear, are you alright?” Milo asked extending a hand out to you. You grabbed onto it and pulled yourself up. “Sorry, the wooloo like escaping for some reason. You aren’t hurt are you?”

“N-No! I’m ok.” You told him as you dusted dirt off your jeans. 

“Oh! You must be a gym challenger! I remember you from the opening ceremony”

You should have expected this, of course people would recognise you. You were the only challenger wearing a mask. It must have left an impression on a lot of people.

“Yeah, I am a challenger” you said with as much confidence as you could muster. 

“Cool! I’m Milo! I’ll be the first opponent you will be facing, I can’t wait to see how you battle. Come challenge me any time!” He smiled

“Y-yeah! Thanks Milo.” You responded 

“Anyways, I should get this little guy back to the stadium. I’ll see you later..... I didn’t catch your name?” 

“It’s A/N” you said, you felt a small bit of pride as you said it. Your visit from Hop yesterday had definitely changed your outlook on the challenge by a lot.

“That’s a really cute name! I’ll see you later A/N!” Milo said as he walked away to the stadium.

How did you do that? You managed to hold a conversation with someone you had just met? And you didn’t stutter like an idiot? You impressed yourself. The disguise really could work wonders.

Anyways, you didn’t have time to stand around. You had to get your grass badge. Even though every part of you had been screaming that you couldn’t do it. After your little encounter with Milo, your confidence had gone up slightly. It wasn’t much, but it was an improvement nonetheless. You quickly dipped into the Pokemon centre to heal your Pokemon, and used some of your funds you had earned from defeating trainers to buy potions.

Afterwards, you walked towards the stadium, heart pounding. All eyes would be ok you, but you felt a bit safer from behind the mask. You went up to the trainer in the centre of the main area. Before you had a chance to speak, he asked,

“Are you here for the gym challenge?” 

You nodded your head and he pointed in the direction of the changing room. 

“The changing room is over there, get changed into your uniform and you can take on the gym mission.” 

You walked over to the changing room, as you did so you desperately tried to silence all the doubts in your mind. Every step spawned a new thought. 

“You can’t do this”  
“You’re going to fail”  
“You’re pathetic”

You desperately tried to drown out those thoughts as you pulled your challenger uniform on over your head. You had to do this, for Leon, for Hop, for Victor. 

For you.

You walked back to the trainer, who gestured you to the door behind him. Walking through it, you saw a world of green. Grass and faintly luminescent green walls. You were glad you were wearing sunglasses or you might start seeing pink as soon as you left.

Another trainer approached you. He was wearing a similar uniform to Milo, minus the scarf of course. He introduced himself as Dan and explained the rules of the challenge. It sounded simple enough, just chase the wooloo to the destination while avoiding the Yampers. Sounded easy. Of course there would be trainers along the way, but you expected that. It was only natural for a gym challenge to have easier trainers before you fight the tough gym leader. 

“We don’t have many challengers on the first day, most of them use today to train. Let’s hope you are prepared and haven’t underestimated us.” Dan finished.

A whistle blew and you walked forward, the wooloo rolled away from you. After a bit of experimenting, you managed to roll the wooloo all towards the goal. 

The next section was a bit more difficult. You spotted a gym trainer, and a yamper, so you decided to challenge the gym trainer.

You didn’t have much trouble, one fire fang was enough to take down the trainer’s Pokemon. It was sort of anti climatic, but growlithe seemed happy anyways.

The final section went a similar fashion. The gym trainer going down easily and the wooloo rolling to the correct place with a little persuasion. You climbed the big staircase at the end. It vaguely reminded you of the stairs at Motostoke, but no where near as big or tiring to climb. You waved as the final whistle went off and the door opened. 

You drew in a shaky breath and tried to stop yourself from shaking. It was only one battle, you had battled before, it wasn’t that big a deal. You just had to win.

You pressed forwards and walked to the centre of the stadium. You couldn’t stop you entire body from trembling, all the eyes were on you. You felt terrified. You wished you had just rejected the endorsement, you wished you could run, you wished you could be anywhere else but here. 

There was no where to run.

Milo turned to you, he couldn’t see your panic under your mask. He gently spoke to you.

“Great job in the gym mission! You seem to be quite strong, I’ll have to go all out if I want to win.” He smiled.

You just nodded, focusing on not losing your breakfast all over the pitch. The fear and nausea were running through your body like rivers.

With a deep breath in, you walked back to one side of the pitch. Music began blaring from the loudspeakers and the crowd became louder. Milo threw out his first Pokemon, a gossifleur. With shaky hands, you threw out growlithe’s pokeball. He barked with excitement, he had been waiting for this battle and was overjoyed to finally be battling in a stadium. He locked eyes with Gossifleur as the crowd cheered. 

“Rapid spin” Milo called.

The gossifleur crashed into growlithe at top speed, growlithe was knocked back slightly. He waited for you to call out a move.

You tried to compose yourself, the audience was getting to you. 

“Fire fang” you yelled, as loud as possible so that it was audible enough for your Pokemon to hear it.

Growlithe ran towards gossifleur and attacked. The super effective hit was enough to one hit K.O the gossifleur. Perfect, the battle was in your favour. The slight confidence boost was much needed. Things would only get worse from here. 

You didn’t switch your Pokemon as Milo sent out his last Pokemon, his Eldegoss. You knew he was going to Dynamax, the audience knew it too, judging by the cheers getting much louder. You were terrified, you knew you should Dynamax too, but it was impossible. You were rooted to the spot, you couldn’t move.

Your heart rate increased as you saw Milo recall his Eldegoss, the pokeball expanding and glowing pink. Then he threw it behind him, and his Eldegoss emerged huge, filling almost a quarter of the stadium. Growlithe looked like an ant by comparison.

The audience screamed and cheered, the battle was getting intense, and reaching the climax. Everybody knows that the fight between the two Dynamax Pokemon was the best part of any battle. They were ready for you to Dynamax.

Yet you couldn’t. The increased screams of the audience, the cheering, the stadium lights, everything was too much. If you Dynamaxed, it would only get worse. The cheers would get louder, and you wouldn’t be able to withstand any of it. Instead, you just stood there like an idiot, the moisture in your mouth was gone, sweat was dripping down your forehead, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t do anything except stand there like a deer in headlights.

Growlithe didn’t need your instructions, he knew what to do. He ran forward and used fire fang on the giant Pokemon. The damage was still substantial, despite the obvious disadvantage. Then Milo called out his attack, max overgrowth. Growlithe couldn’t do much, you were still standing there in stunned silence, on the verge of collapsing. You used the last bit of your energy to call out to growlithe.

“Fire fang”

As the Eldegoss was about to attack growlithe, he jumped up and used fire fang one more time, avoiding the Dynamax attack in the process. 

A critical hit.

The Eldegoss collapsed down to its normal size as the audience cheered louder than ever before. Milo recalled his Pokemon and chuckled slightly.

“I went all out, but even then I couldn’t defeat you”

He walked towards the centre of the stadium, you followed and met him in the middle. 

“You have a lot of potential! I shouldn’t have underestimated you. Here, take this grass badge, you deserve it.” He said as he held out his hand for you to shake. You looked into his eyes as you shook his hand, and when you withdrew your hand you felt a small metal coin-like object in your hand. You looked and saw it was a grass badge. You could hardly control the smile that crept over your face.

As you walked back to the waiting area, you felt on top of the world, but tried your best to remain nonchalant, you were in public after all. Even in the changing room you tried to keep your bubbly excitement contained. 

The trainer that let you into the building handed you a TM and a grass uniform, that you put into your bag. You immediately ran outside and called a flying taxi to take you to the wild area. You grinned under your mask throughout the entire journey. 

Giving the driver their payment, you ran back to your secluded corner. Then grabbed all 5 of your pokeballs and threw them out. As soon as your Pokemon were out of your pokeballs, you yelled from excitement,

“I DID IT! I ACTUALLY DID IT!”


	9. Three times the intimidation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you finish it at 1:25 AM because your sleeping schedule is nonexistent. Anyways, another pretty long chapter. I PROMISE the next chapter will be shorter. Next part will be out within less than a week. Love y’all <3

Three times the intimidation   
Chapter 9

You happily ran in circles as your Pokemon barked, purred and growled from excitement. You picked up growlithe and twirled him around as fast as you could.

“You did amazing! I can’t believe you were able to take down Milo’s Eldegoss while it was Dynamaxed!” Growlithe barked and licked your face from happiness.

You ripped off your mask, sunglasses and hair ties, then discarded them by your bag, you pulled off your hoodie to reveal the shirt underneath. Your excitement was uncontainable. You felt on top of the world. You couldn’t stop smiling. It was the happiest you had ever been. You didn’t care what anybody thought, you had won, fair and square, against a gym leader!

You stuffed your clothes into your bag, apart from your hoodie, which you pulled on, and slung it over your back, then you turned to your Pokemon.

“Who wants to do some Victory laps of the wild area?” You asked excitedly. Their happy noises of response confirmed that you were free to go ahead. You started running, and they followed behind. You didn’t care if anyone saw, you were too excited to care.  
All you felt right now was joy. The negative stream of thoughts you had on the pitch were completely silent. 

You wondered what Leon would say to you right now if he knew.

After running around the entire wild area, you ended up right back in your little corner, completely exhausted. You collapsed onto the grass, your Pokemon lying down next to you. The grin was still plastered on your face, you still felt happy. 

You took a quick glance at your phone, 4:30PM. Geez, that run must have taken a long time huh?

You repeated your routine, washing your hair in the water and calling a taxi to your location. Your Pokemon reluctantly returned to their pokeballs just as the taxi landed. 

You were home before you knew it. The taxi ride only taking about half an hour. Much shorter than the 1 and a half hour train ride.

You collapsed on your bed, as soon as you did you felt tiredness creeping into your bones. The adrenaline from earlier was fading, and the exhaustion from staying up late and doing a huge run was starting to set in. A quick nap wouldn’t hurt, right? Anyways, you could just set an alarm.

You tried to convince yourself that, but as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out cold.

—————

You woke up a few hours later to the sound of someone intensely banging at your door. You yelled “coming” and pulled yourself out of bed, your legs were in so much pain, but you powered through it. 

“Y/N! Are you dead or something?” You heard a familiar voice calling from just beyond the door.

Oh Arceus! You forgot you had to meet up with Hop. You scrambled to hide your ring with the grass badge on it, deciding to shove it into your closet, it would take some searching to find it later, but it was better than Hop or Victor seeing it. You quickly changed your hoodie to a lighter, less suspicious one, then ran out to greet Hop.

He looked up at you when you opened the door “Finally! I thought maybe you tried to ditch us! ” he laughed. “We’re you asleep or something?” 

You had to lie, and come up with something believable quick. The lie from yesterday flashed in your head. “I’ve been looking for Pomeg berries all day. I shook so many trees but none fell. I’ve spent all day running around the wild area.” 

“I already told you, Lee has some. He’s got them in his bag for you.” Hop gently scolded you.

You laughed nervously, scared he would catch on that you were lying. “I was so tired from running that I fell asleep as soon as I got home, I guess that’s what I get for overworking myself”

“That doesn’t matter now, anyways, Lee and Victor are waiting by my house. They both got worried when you didn’t answer your phone so they sent me up to come get you.”

“Ah, sorry for making you worry” you apologised. The adrenaline from earlier was completely gone, but you still had the feeling of accomplishment that motivated you to go with Hop, even though normally you would have declined.

When Hop’s house came into view, you saw Leon and Victor waiting by the door. Hop rushed on ahead as you trailed behind. Eventually you reached the door and looked up at where Leon was standing.

“Hey, Y/N! You get stuck in traffic or something?” Leon asked.

You looked down at the ground and greeted him back. 

Hop explained your reason for being late, thankfully you didn’t have to do any more talking, your social battery was completely run dry after being in a crowed stadium earlier.

“You didn’t have to do all that, I have some berries in my bag for you,Hop told me you were looking for them.” Leon said as he swung his bag off his shoulders and pulled a small plastic box out of it. He pressed it into your hands and smiled.

“I still have a few left over from EV training Charizard, you can have them.” 

You quickly began thanking him and apologising for the trouble, but he just laughed in response.

“Seriously, it’s no problem. Anyways, the reason I called the three of you here was because I have something planned. I thought it would be a nice surprise for you all” he grinned slyly.

You immediately began panicking. Seriously? You could barley form a sentence right now and Leon had gone out of his way to invite you somewhere? It wasn’t like you were ungrateful, you just really didn’t want to go along with whatever plan Leon had concocted in his mind. You especially didn’t like the sly grin on his face, but you tried your best to smile and act as though nothing was up. 

You saw a flying taxi hovering above you, the four of you ran back as it descended on Hop’s front garden. It was visibly larger than a normal flying taxi, Leon probably had to go out of his way to pay for a larger taxi just so you could tag along. That knowledge was another weight on your mind. Why could you not just be alone for tonight?

“Hop in!” Leon shouted above the loud flapping of the Corviknight’s wings. 

Reluctantly, you climbed in after Hop. You had the left window seat, Victor had the right, and Hop was sandwiched between the two of you. With every passing second, you just felt worse and worse about Leon choosing to invite you. It isn’t even as if it was because you were a challenger. He didn’t know about that. Then the only reason it could be was.....

Pity.

The word rang in your head. All of Hop and Victor’s excited chatter was completely drowned out by your feelings. All you felt was despair. What was even the point? 

You were so absorbed in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice that the taxi had already landed at the destination. When you looked over to your right you saw Victor already out the taxi, Hop climbing out after him.

As you were climbing out, you looked at where you had landed. The familiar stadium filled your vision. Motostoke. Your heart almost stopped. Why did he take you here? It had to be related to t he gym challenge. Leon looked at the three of you and Beamed. 

“Come on in, the surprise is inside” he told you as he walked into the building, the three of you trailing behind.

Despite it only being a few days ago, you felt a rush of nostalgia as you entered. “This is where it started” you thought. “This is where I made the most stupid decision of my life” you convinced yourself. Despite thinking that, there was a small part of yourself that knew that wasn’t true. Truthfully, you really enjoyed the battle with Milo, the only bad part was the opening ceremony, but it wasn’t like you would have to do that again. The opening ceremony was a one-off, it would be different if you felt this way about the battles in the stadium, but truthfully, things weren’t as bad as you were convinced. 

“Wow! It only feels like yesterday that I was in here!” Hop marvelled.

“That’s because it WAS yesterday” Victor said with exasperation. “Oh! You’ve never been in one of these stadiums before have you Y/N? Since you never went to the opening ceremony and all?”

“I was here yesterday-“ you began before you cut yourself off. OH ARCEUS. Everyone was looking at you surprised. Quick! Make up an excuse!

Nothing came to your mind, they were still looking at you, their gazes piercing into your soul. You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t make up a believable excuse in this state. Why did you let it slip? They definitely suspected you now! 

What if you just told the truth but slightly altered the ending? Yeah! That’s the only thing that sounds plausible, so that’s what you went with.

“I-I came here yesterday, I had my endorsement with me and everything. I even saw you two going into the changing room.” You signalled to Hop and Victor “But when I went up to get registered I just.... froze. I couldn’t say anything. So I just ran off.” You finished. Sure, it was a little bit different from what actually happened, but it was believable enough to get them to not suspect anything.

“You should have told us! Then we could have went with you.” Victor said to you. Hop nodded behind him. Leon was watching silently.

“Yeah! If we went together then it would have been fine. I can’t believe I missed you!” Hop said, there was a hint of annoyance in his voice, but it seemed to be directed at himself rather than you.

“I-it’s fine! I would have had to do the gym battles alone anyways. We all know I wouldn’t be able to do it. So don’t blame yourself.” You protested to the two of them. It was obvious that they were both silently blaming themselves, thinking they could have helped you if they just came to visit you beforehand, or gave you a call, or anything. You felt really guilty about making them blame themselves, but it was much better than them knowing what really happened. 

Leon was still silent. The mood of the room had obviously been lowered a lot, but he was determined to bring it back up again. After a small pause, his face returned to his signature grin. 

“Anyways, the reason I invited you three, it’s just beyond this door.” Leon signalled to the door over-dramatically, his cape fluttering. “Come on, you three” he said as he held the door open for you. Hop bolted to the door and Victor walked behind him. You heard Hop gasp and tried to peer over him and Victor to see what was in the room.

Your heart almost stopped.

Milo, Nessa and Kabu were all sitting at a table, four empty seats also there. You immediately began to panic. What if they recognised you? You had first met them as A/N. The chance of them recognising you was small but it wasn’t zero. You also had to think about what you would say to them all. Your social battery was completely dead. What on earth could you do? Why did Leon invite you? Why were you so pathetic?

Hop immediately rushed into the room like a small hurricane. Victor followed, more calmly. Not seeing an easy way out, you swallowed, and stepped into the room, the same nausea you had from your match with Milo crept over your body. Admittedly it wasn’t as bad, but it wasn’t good. 

You took the seat Next to Victor, Leon walking in and taking the empty seat next to you. Your breathing was short, you desperately tried not to panic. If you broke down now, there was no mask to hide your tears.

“Since you two are going to be battling these three soon, I decided to let you meet them beforehand.” Leon said happily.

He didn’t even mention why he invited you. You really were just there out of pity.

“Arceus! Hi! I’m Hop! I’m Leon’s little brother and the future champion! It’s nice to meet you all, even though we all technically met at the opening ceremony but-“ Hop rambled on, before being cut off by Victor.

“Slow down Hop. They probably can’t make out half of what you said.” He turned towards the three gym leaders. “I’m Victor, I’m Hops friend and another gym challenger” he explained. 

“It’s great to meet you three! I recognise you from the opening ceremony, you two really have this kind of presence that makes you stand out from the other challengers.” said Milo. 

Hop grinned widely, “Yeah! That’s because I’m gonna defeat all of you and become the new champion! Mark my words!” 

“You are certainly very passionate” Kabu stated. “But you have to remember that the gym challenge is no small hurdle, only the strongest and most motivated trainers can manage to complete it. Also, I don’t go easy on challengers.” 

A chill went down your spine as he said that, your breathing accelerated even more. Of course the gym challenge wasn’t easy, it was THE annual challenge to test the strength of trainers. You knew you wanted to be a part of that, but Kabu’s words cut you deep. What if you couldn’t do it? What if you lost, and kept losing until the time was up? It would crush you. 

“Kabu is right, you shouldn’t trivialise how difficult it actually is” Nessa calmly said. “Although you certainly have the spirit.” She added.

“Hop has been training a lot, and he has the motivation too, so does Victor. I’m sure I made the right call for endorsing the two of them” 

“Well, I’m not here to question the decisions that the champion makes, I’m sure you did make the right call.” Milo turned to Victor and Hop. “Are you going to be battling me tomorrow?” 

“Yes!” Hop jumped out of his seat and stood up before Victor tugged him back down again. “I’ve been training all of today, and I’m positive I can beat you!” 

“I’ve also been training, I have confidence in myself and my team!” Victor said, noticeably a lot more calmly than Hop.

“Great! I can’t wait to see what you can do in battle” Milo grinned as he clapped his hands together. “Day 2 is the best time to challenge a gym leader!”

“A lot of people get ahead of themselves and try to challenge Milo on day one, thinking he would go down easy because he’s the first gym leader.” Nessa explained. “By today’s results, you can easily see he doesn’t go down without a fight”

“Even though only one person managed to beat him, I’m still a little surprised myself that Milo was defeated at all during day 1. I expected all of the challengers to be overconfident with a lack of skill, it’s surprising that there was a challenger adequately prepared.” Kabu said to Hop and Victor.

“It’s more surprising to me that she was able to win with A, only one Pokemon and B, without dynamaxing. Usually dynamaxing is essential to winning. That A/N definitely has skill” Nessa nonchalantly said.

You started to sweat. They had no idea the trainer they were praising was right in front of them, scared out of her mind and desperately trying to act casually.

In your mind you were screaming. You didn’t want to be here, you wanted to be anywhere but here. At least they weren’t talking to you, yet.

As if on cue, as soon as that thought crossed your mind, Kabu turned to you.

“So, are you a gym challenger as well?” He asked.

Great. 

You tried to form a sentence, but no words came out. Luckily, Victor came to your aid.

“She was originally going to be. Sadly she got caught up in something so she wasn’t able to do it this year.”

You were so thankful for Victor’s quick thinking and convincing lie, you wanted to hug him, but you couldn’t, obviously. Still, you made a mental note to thank him later.

“Ah, so you’re a trainer?” Nessa asked.

Again, you desperately tried to form your words into a coherent sentence, unfortunately your brain refused to co-operate, and you were left with small stutters as you fought back your urge to run out of the room screaming.

Thoughts flooded your mind, the familiar thoughts that you had been able to fight off earlier in the day. They were back and they were worse than ever. You felt like you were drowning. Why did you even come here? Why did you bother making friends with Hop in the first place? Why did you bother existing? You were just a disappointment, a sad little-

Suddenly, Someone grabbed your hand from under the table, snapping you out of your confusion. Huh? 

Your eyes flickered over to Leon, who subtly looked over at you and grinned. He squeezed your hand gently, as if telling you it was going to be okay. You managed to steady your breathing slightly, getting control of your wild thoughts.

“Yes, I’m a trainer in my off time” you said quietly. It wasn’t loud but definitely audible. 

“That’s great, I would have loved to battle you. Why don’t you try the gym challenge next year? When your not as busy?” Milo asked.

“Sure!” You abruptly said, not thinking about what it meant. When Hop and Victor looked at you shocked you just smiled and acted like it was completely intentional and not a slip up. You secretly tightened your grip on Leon’s hand, your nails digging into him slightly.

“You definitely seem like an interesting type, I look forward to the day we are able to battle” Nessa said gently.

“Definitely!” Milo responded

“Oh you have no idea, you have no idea at all the irony of what you just said” you thought to yourself 

Hop, Victor and the three gym leaders continued talking. You were able to push the thoughts down, yet you already felt them starting to creep up on you again. The worthless feeling you had grown accustomed to was coming back, your social battery was dead, you were surrounded by people you admired, you were just calming down from being in a huge stadium full of thousands of people and you had no Pokemon around to comfort you.

Your grip on Leon’s hand progressively got tighter and tighter over the next few minutes, your breathing getting faster and faster. Everything was too much, eventually, after only around five minutes, you closed your eyes, and waited for it all to be over. You just wanted to escape.

“Ah, sorry, I forgot. Y/N has Pokemon waiting for their dinner.” Leon suddenly stated, looking at the time displayed on his rotom phone. You cracked open your eyes slightly and looked over at Leon, he was looking directly at the other gym leaders.

“I’ll come back to take Hop and Victor home in a few hours, for now, me and Y/N should get going.” He stood up and waved to the gym leaders, who all said their goodbyes. “You coming Y/N?” He asked?

You quickly stood up and ran out the door he was holding open. Then out the main door at the front. As soon as the cold open air hit your face, a huge wave of relief washed over you. You took a deep breath in and tried to relax. 

“I’m a pretty good liar, if I do say so myself.” Leon said while smiling, looking directly at you.

You weakly smiled back at him, you were so grateful that he had gotten you out of that situation. He was being so nice to you, and you couldn’t figure out why. The endorsement, the berries, the grookey, the invitation to come here. Everything, he was being so generous and you couldn’t for the life of you figure out why.

“Thank you, thank you so much” you began saying, Leon simply grinned. 

“It’s ok, I could tell you were overwhelmed. I wouldn’t be much of a good person if I couldn’t recognise when someone needed to get some fresh air.” 

His optimism was reminiscent of Hop’s. It was contagious. You couldn’t help but smile. 

“I can take you home right now if you want, or we can stand around here for a while? It’s pretty warm out tonight.” He observed.

“I want to go home.” You said quietly.

“Fair enough, I can see how meeting three new people in one day can be stressful, especially when those three people are local celebrities.” He responded. “But I do have to say, you weren’t as bad as when you first met me. Or is that because I’m so great?” He joked.

You forced a small laugh. It was true, maybe the time you spent in the stadiums helped you calm down slightly? It wasn’t much, at all, but you didn’t run off and hide this time, that was an improvement.

“Oh, also I wanted to ask you about something you said in there.” He casually mentioned. “You said that you would participate in the gym challenge next year?”

“Ah, well....” you tried to explain how you said it without thinking, how your mind had raced ahead of you, but you couldn’t.

“It’s ok! Don’t worry. You are allowed to say no” he reassured you.

“I do want to try next year. I wanted to try this year, but obviously I wasn’t able to, so I definitely want to attempt it next year, if possible.” You quietly said.

“And I’d be more than happy to endorse you then. I’m glad you still want to try, even if it’s in the future.” He said. “I’m proud of you, Y/N”

Did you hear that right? The last sentence rang in your head like an alarm bell. He- the galar CHAMPION, was proud of you? Someone believed in you? They thought you could do it? How did? Surely you must have misheard. 

You knew deep down that you heard him all too well, your mind just didn’t want to admit it. You felt tears starting to well up in your eyes for seemingly the hundredth time today.

“So, I’ll call a flying taxi to take us back to your place- Woah!” Leon almost dropped his phone as you wrapped your arms around him, allowing your tears to silently roll down your face.

“Thank you” you told him. “Thank you for everything” you said through your tears. 

After a few seconds, Leon wrapped his arms around you in return, you could feel how toned his arms were, and the scent of his aftershave was very strong as you hid your face against his chest.

“Hey, listen to me Y/N.” He said as your head was still buried in his shirt, creating a wet patch where you were crying. “You don’t have to thank me for anything.” 

“But I do!” You protested, words muffled by his shirt. “You’ve been so nice to me, you put up with me acting stupid, you put up with all my stuttering and constant second guessing. You put up with me even when I ran away from you the first time I met you. You even put up with me not doing the gym challenge after you went out of your way to endorse me, you-“ you didn’t have a chance to finish, as Leon shushed you gently.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything.” He told you. “You shouldn’t feel guilty for any of this. None of it is your fault, and the reason I “put up” with you is because I can see how much potential you have, and how much Hop and Victor like you. So don’t feel guilty for being human ok?” He gently increased his hold on you, pulling you even closer. 

After a few seconds, you pulled away, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.

“I don’t want to see you sad anymore, okay?” 

“Sure.”

“Believe me when I say, I’m proud of you Y/N. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

A warm fuzzy feeling crept through your body and you couldn’t help but smile. This small chat with Leon had made you feel so much better, somehow.

Leon smiled at you, before taking out his phone and calling the number for a flying taxi.

You clung to Leon the whole journey back to your house. You already felt yourself drifting to sleep. Your whole body was exhausted, mentally and physically. The heat from Leon’s body was comforting, and only lulled you to sleep further. The last part of the journey was a blur. You don’t remember ever leaving the taxi, you just remember the journey home, and suddenly waking up in your bed several hours later. The clock said it was 1:25 AM. Leon probably carried you to bed. 

As you attempted to get back to sleep, Leon’s words stuck in your head. 

“I’m proud of you”


	10. A friend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is a shorter chapter, a little too short for my liking. I’m super sorry for the late upload, I promise there will be another chapter today or tomorrow. Stay hydrated <3

Chapter 10  
A friend?

Two days passed, faster than you would have liked.

You wanted nothing more than to lie in bed for the next week, but you already knew it wasn’t an option. You had to prepare for the battle against nessa, Milo had been the introduction, almost like a tutorial, but now, you had to take it 100% seriously.

Hop and Victor beat Milo no problem, it was to be expected from them, they both had way more potential than you anyways. They probably would have been able to beat Milo on day one, but the fact that they were sensible and challenged him on day 2 to make sure they were prepared showed just how skilled they both were. 

Thursday. Day one of Nessa’s challenge. Nessa was already a difficult enough opponent, but you had an added bit of difficulty.

No dynamaxing. There was no way you could, so why even consider it. It wasn’t easy to get used to being in front of so many people, the last thing you wanted was to excite them even more. Get their hopes up before you are inevitably defeated. There was no point to dynamaxing, if you were going to lose a battle without dynamax, you would also lose that battle with dynamax. There was no reason to get the crowd excited over a loss.

There was also one more huge problem.

Growlithe was a fire type. There was no way you were using him in a battle against Nessa, a water type trainer. There had to be some way around it. The obvious answer was to use Grookey, but that ran the risk of people recognising her. Having one Pokemon the same as A/N could be written off as coincidence, but if all your Pokemon matched, suspicions would start arising. There had to be some way to change grookey’s appearance somehow? 

Walking down route 5, the questions gnawed at your mind. Things would have to change, and that was scary. 

After some consideration, you switched the pokeball in your hand from Growlithe’s, to Grookey’s deciding it was much better to use Grookey and risk people recognising you than using Growlithe and losing the battle. You could always alter her appearance before the battle in the stadium anyways. 

You challenged a few wild Pokemon to battles, gaining a lot of experience and causing most of your team to level up. Grookey gained the most experience, being under levelled up until that point, in addition to not having battling experience. She was obviously overjoyed to be finally in a battle, judging by the excited noises she was making.  
After several battles, several trips to the Pokemon centre, and several close calls, you were done for today. You decided that just before you recalled Grookey, you would take some photos of the two of you. You had several photos of all your other Pokemon, but none of Grookey. Now seemed like a good time to take some.

Your rotom phone flew in front of you as you posed with Grookey, forcing a smile through your exhaustion. Today was rough, but it felt so good to be out training again, battling with no regard for what anybody thought, or what anybody would say. You felt happy. This was why you started battling in the first place, this feeling. You didn’t ever want it to go away. 

You quickly recalled Grookey after rotom had snapped several pictures. You shoved your pokeball back into your pocket as you quickly pulled up a gps on your phone. The nearest Inn was in Hulbury, not too far but still quite a journey. It was only worsened by the sun steadily setting, meaning you only had a few hours of light remaining. You disregarded any second thoughts you might have had and started running, reaching a large bridge.

When you looked down over the edge, you saw a huge drop, just looking at it scared you, even though you were on a sturdy bridge that had very minimal risk of collapsing. If you focused your eyes slightly, you could see the wild area below. Even from as high up as you were, it still looked vast and open, it was sort of scary how large it was, and how little you had explored by comparison. 

You took a huge step back. That line of thought wouldn’t get you anywhere, especially when you had a goal you needed to achieve. Thinking about how little you had explored was something you could change later. For now you had to get to Hulbury before dark, and dark was approaching a lot faster than you would have liked.

After what felt like forever, you made it to the other side of the bridge. It would have been a lot easier if you had something like a bike, but you didn’t, who cares? You made it to the other side anyways.

There was still more to walk, and you gave a small groan as you slowly continued down the path, avoiding the few Pokemon that were scattered around. Your feet were sore, reminiscent from the huge staircase in Motostoke. At least Hulbury was visible now, at the end of a long tunnel. That you had to walk down. With aching feet.

Oh well, at least the day couldn’t get worse.

Pressing forwards, you ignored the pain in your legs, focused on finding your way to an inn before it got completely dark. The Pokemon centre was within sight, and you couldn’t wait to collapse onto a soft bed for the night. 

When the Pokemon centre was within sight, you pulled on your mask that was previously resting on your neck. Your hair was tied up in a high ponytail already, you just hoped no one would comment on the lack of purple in your hair, that is, if anyone saw you. 

You handed all five of your pokeballs to the lady behind the counter, and as they spun around the machine, you dug through your pocket, hoping that you had kept the chalk in your pocket instead of leaving it on the counter. A smile spread across your face when you felt the familiar circular plastic container. You could apply it when you got to the inn. 

The lady thanked you and handed back your pokeballs, you gave her a small nod and ran towards the exit, ready to stop and get to bed. Even though it was quite early, it felt as though you had been awake for hours. 

But then you stopped.

You saw a familiar pair of black twin tails, standing with a small, happy looking, Pokemon. From its appearance you assumed it was an electric type. She appeared to be feeding the Pokemon berries? When she saw you staring, she gave a small wave and smiled slightly. You walked over to the entrance, where she was standing.

“Hi, I’m A/N, I saw you at the opening ceremony, you another gym challenger?” You asked.

“Oh, I’m Marnie. Yeah, I’m also a gym challenger.” She replied. Her tone was quite quiet, it reminded you of yourself, but more toned down. She definitely wasn’t stuttering like you did when you met new people.

The Pokemon at her feet whined slightly, annoyed at the lack of attention it was receiving. Marnie turned to it and picked the Pokemon up gently. 

“This is my Pokemon, Morpeko, she gets kind of cranky when she’s hungry” she explained gently, Morpeko happily rubbed against her.

“You seem to be pretty close, there a specific reason you’re doing the gym challenge?” You asked, them immediately kicked yourself in your mind. “Ah, sorry, that was rude”

“No, it’s okay. You see, I’m doing the challenge because of my brother mostly.” She told you, still holding her Morpeko. “He’s the gym leader for Spikemuth, you might have heard of him?” 

“Piers right?” She nodded in response.

“Yep! He’s really tough, but Spikemuth doesn’t get much publicity these days since you can’t dynamax.” Marnie looked at the ground as she continued “ Another reason I’m doing the challenge is to show everyone that Spikemuth is just as good as the other towns. So I guess that’s the main reason I’m doing the challenge” 

You could sense a small hint of sadness in her words as she finished. You felt kind of bad. 

“Anyways, your right nosy aren’t you? Why don’t I ask you a few questions then?” She said, cutting through any tension that was building in the room.

“So, let me think...” she paused briefly. “Oh! Why do you wear that mask?” 

“Ah..... I thought you might ask that” you mumbled. “It’s kind of a loaded question. I don’t really know the full answer myself” you went on.

“There has to be some reason”

“There is, it’s just......” you trailed off. Marnie still listening intently. “I feel safe with it on, I don’t have to worry about how others see me, if I failed, people would only see that “the masked challenger” failed, and I prefer it that way. I don’t want any of my friends or family to see me fail.” You tried to explain, it sounded kind of silly when said out loud, but the feelings were strong.

“I don’t know if that makes any sense, but it’s the only way I know how to explain it.” You finished.

Marnie was silent for a few seconds, she was visibly quite deep in thought.

“Well, I get that. You kind of remind me of myself when I was younger.” She replied.

“So, it’s a self esteem thing?” She asked

You nodded gently.

“I understand how you wouldn’t want people to see you fail, but what about when you succeed? Do you not want to tell people about that? Of course, battling means you have to lose sometimes, but it’s not good to only focus on your losses, right?” 

You nodded again.  
“So no one knows that you earned your grass badge?” She asked.

“Nope, the public knows of course, but no one knows who is behind the mask” you explained.

“Ah, okay then. That’s enough questions from me.” She told you. “So, you taking on Nessa today?” 

“That’s a question.” You snapped back at her, causing her to laugh slightly. 

“I guess so, but seriously, are you? You defeated Milo no problem, Nessa shouldn’t be too big of a hurdle” 

“Uh... yes! I am” you blurred out without thinking. Great, now you really couldn’t back out. You and your big mouth.

“Brilliant! I’ve got tickets for all of today’s matches, I’ll see you in a few hours then!” She said as she left the Pokemon centre.

What had you gotten yourself into?


	11. Cool sea breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out I’m really dumb and don’t know how publication dates work. Anyways, I’ve figured it out now, so sorry if you thought the work was abandoned or something. Next chapter tomorrow probably, although no promises <3

Chapter 11  
Cool sea breeze 

There wasn’t even time to get changed, shower, or take a nap. You had to challenge Nessa in less than an hour.

You sprinted out of the Pokemon centre, making a beeline to the inn.

After renting a room, you burst through the door and quickly pulled the hair chalk out of your pocket, while simultaneously pulling off your T-shirt. Every second counted, the gym mission portion of the gym would probably take almost half an hour. Meaning you had 15 minutes to get completely ready. 

You haphazardly threw your old clothes on the floor and frantically pulled your black hoodie and jeans out of your bag, several pokeballs and potions fell out the bag from the force of you grabbing them.

After pulling the clothes on, stuffing the items that had fallen back into the bag, then putting on your sunglasses, you were almost ready. Your hair was still in a high ponytail, the gradient not as neat because of the rush. There was only one thing left to do. You grabbed Grookey and Growlithe’s pokeballs, before throwing them onto the ground. They both sprang out immediately and ran around the room in excitement, creating an even bigger mess for you to clean up later.

You re-applied some chalk to growlithe’s fur, before turning to Grookey. She didn’t have very long hairs, but you had to change how she looked somehow. You settled with haphazardly smearing the chalk on the tufts of fur on her head, before quickly recalling the two and running out of the room at top speeds, you didn’t even bother to lock the door.

Ten minutes had gone by in a flash, and by the time you reached the gym entrance, an additional five had disappeared, seemingly into thin air. You were completely out of breath by the time you reached the reception, ready to get the battle over with already. 

Panting, you slammed both your hands on the reception desk and looked up at the receptionist, who was slightly concerned at your intensity.

“I’m.. *pant* here... *pant* to challenge Nessa *pant*” you explained 

“Oh, okay, get changed into your uniform and I’ll show you the way to the gym mission” the receptionist said cautiously.

You smiled from beyond your mask, although the receptionist couldn’t see it. As you made your way towards the changing rooms, you realised there was no point changing into Your hoodie earlier, as you had to change into your challenger outfit anyways. Well, at least you were cautious.  
After changing, admittedly, a lot slower than at the inn, you made your way out the cubicle and into the large circular room, with faintly luminescent blue walls. Large pipes protruded from the ceiling and there was a complex metal pathway with several intersections, dead ends, and coloured sections that corresponded to the colour of the pipe above them.

The receptionist explained the rules, they were fairly simple. Solve the puzzle and battle trainers. It was so similar to the first gym, yet so different at the same time.

Most of the challenge was spent running from the water that gushed from the huge pipes whenever a button was pressed, you couldn’t risk your disguise coming off at any point, so the extra caution was worth it. 

The first trainer battle went smoothly, a single razor leaf defeating the opposing trainer. However, when the battle was done and the trainer handed over some prize money, your Grookey suddenly burst into a bright light. It was blinding and you and the trainer both covered your eyes. Even through the sunglasses, it was too bright to look at. After a few seconds, the light disappeared and you slowly turned your gaze over to Grookey.

She wasn’t Grookey anymore.

Your Pokemon was much bigger, taller and evidently stronger. She held a small stick, that she waved around in excitement. Confusion shot through your whole body, until you realised something.

“You evolved!” You exclaimed.

Your rotom phone flew around the newly evolved Pokemon, collecting data before displaying its screen to you.

“Thwackey”

The name sounded cool, and you felt amazing just saying it. You had actually evolved a Pokemon, all by yourself. It was a strange milestone to accomplish, and you certainly felt uneasy, but it also felt good at the same time. 

The trainer nodded in acknowledgement and walked over to the edge of the path to stand out of your way. Allowing you to finish the puzzle with relative ease.

The other two trainers were a breeze with your new Thwackey, a razor leaf was able to take them both down in one hit. In addition to that, Thwackey learned screech after beating the second trainer. Your chances of victory were increasing by the second, and for once, you were actually looking forward to fighting Nessa.

You finished the puzzle a lot faster than you expected, after you got your head on straight, it was relatively simple. Although you still had Your be cautious to not get soaked.

Then it was time for the big challenge 

Nessa.

You took a deep breath in, then pushed the door open, the crowd was in sight, and it was even more packed than the last time and the cheering was even louder.

It’s ok, just breathe.

Don’t think about it, just focus on battling.

It’s going to be fine.

Breathe.  
You switched the pokeball in your hand from Thwackey to Growlithe, even with a disadvantage, growlithe could take out the first two Pokemon and leave Thwackey to finish off the final one. You needed to have the most health possible to have any chance of defeating Nessa’s Dynamaxed Pokemon.

You made your way to the centre of the stadium, the cheers were coming from all around you, but you tried your best to drown them out. Once you had reached the middle, you raised your head to look at Nessa.

She was even more pretty up close. Even after seeing her as Y/N already, she really seemed to have a different aura when in a stadium, a lot less cool and collected, a lot more intimidating.

“Do your best out there” she told you, her eyes narrowing slightly.

This was even worse than Milo’s gym.

Familiar music began blaring from the loudspeakers and the cheering became even louder.

It felt like you were being crushed.

No, it’s ok, just breathe.

You took a deep breath in and called out your first attack.

“Bite”

Growlithe ran forward, just as the opposing goldeen sprang from it’s pokeball, He bit down on the Goldeen as hard as he could.

Just over half health.

You crossed your fingers, hoping that Nessa wouldn’t use a water type move. Growlithes low stats and type disadvantage would make it a 2 shot. Meaning The next Pokemon would KO growlithe. You began to sweat. Maybe you should have trained some more.

Nessa used agility 

You cracked your eyes open and saw growlithe running forward on his own again. Still being faster than the goldeen despite the stat boost. He bit down on the goldeen again and the goldeen flopped over, the spirals in its eyes signalling it had fainted.

You grinned under the mask, you were doing pretty well for someone who was unprepared and panicked. The crowd didn’t even seem to matter right now. 

Nessa remained calm, although she was visibly becoming more annoyed. It was subtle, but just noticeable. She pulled out her second pokeball and sent out a Pokemon you had never heard of before. 

An Arrokuda. 

You tried to remain calm and called out for growlithe to use bite again. It was the best move you could use. Ember and fire fang would do little to no damage.

It barley got 1/4 of its health. 

You quickly realised you were in over your head.

“Oh no” you whispered

“Aqua jet” Nessa called over the loudspeakers.  
It hit Growlithe, you swore it would be a one shot KO, but it wasn’t.

Growlithe was still standing, just barley. He obviously wasn’t far away from fainting, heck, it looked like he could collapse if you looked at him funny, but he was still standing nonetheless.

He used the last of his strength to bite the arrokuda one more time, getting his health just under half, before one more aqua jet from Nessa finished him off.

Growlithe was down.

You quickly recalled him, the audience continued to yell. Panic began to set in once again.

Thwackey was the only option. You grabbed the pokeball from your pockets and threw it to the ground as hard as you could. Thwackey jumped out, pulled the stick from its purple tufts of hair, then got into a fighting stance.

“Razor leaf” you yelled, trying to keep your voice audible over the intensity of the crowds yelling. They were obviously excited to see another of your Pokemon.

Thwackey shot pointed leaves at the Arrokuda, who was busy preparing another attack. The super effective hit KO’d it instantly.

The cheering grew louder and louder. Nessa’s last Pokemon. Meaning it was time to dynamax. The audience was curious to see if you would dynamax as well, or if you would do the same as your fight with Milo and beat Nessa without it.

You settled with the latter, as Nessa sent out a dreadnaw, it was a good match for your Thwackey, having a double grass weakness. The music changed to a more intense track and Nessa folded her arms. 

“I’m not going down that easy” she yelled. 

She then recalled her Dreadnaw, and the pokeball grew huge and glowed pink, similar to what Milo had done. She then threw the Pokeball as hard as she could, allowing the Dreadnaw to fill almost the whole stadium.

You gulped. This was going to be tricky.

Thwackey shot off another razor leaf, hitting the Dreadnaw and doing a lot of damage, it looked like it would only take one more hit to take it out.

Before you had a chance to call out another attack, Nessa called out one of her own 

“Max geyser” 

There wasn’t anything you could do. It was unavoidable.

It hit Thwackey, doing just over half her health. Water poured all over the battlefield and rain began to fall from the sky. You had to keep going. Victory was in sight.

Don’t give up now.

Just breathe. 

You attempted to block out the audience, and called out your final razor leaf. It hit the Dreadnaw, before it collapsed down to its regular size. Nessa quickly recalled it.

The battle was over.

You won.  
Your heart rate was through the roof, and a huge grin was on your face. It felt even better than the win against Milo. In this moment, the stream of thoughts that plagued your head like fog weren’t there. You felt light. Free. Happy.

Nessa walked over to you, visibly angry. Although it didn’t seem directed at you. She took a breath to compose herself before turning towards you.

“That was a great battle, you’ve got a lot of potential A/N” she told you, extending out a hand in congratulations. You eagerly shook it, mood improved by a substantial amount. 

“I’m sure you can do this, so give it everything you’ve got and I’ll see you in the finals” she finished.

You nodded, huge grin still on your face. You thought today would be awful, when in fact, it was one of the best days of your life. Being A/N was such a surreal experience, you loved every second of it.

You recalled Thwackey and left the gym, the evening air gently blew your hair and cooled you down from the heat of the stadium. It was so quiet. Compared to the intense screams and cheers in the stadium, the silence was nice, comforting almost. 

You were ready to sink into a bed for the night, let dreams carry you away gently as the stresses of the day melt away. You made your way towards the Inn, hoping to get there undisturbed. 

You were only a few metres away from the inn when you heard a familiar voice.

“A/N!”


	12. Second chance at a first impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another short chapter, sorry guys. I just really want to keep the chapters consistent so I might keep them this length. Or I’ll just create a new chapter whenever there’s a new plot point. Anyways, any suggestions for Y/N’s last Pokemon? I was thinking a charmander or a snorlax? Although I’m very willing to accept any suggestions you give me! So without further ado, enjoy <3 
> 
> (New chapter probably tomorrow)

Chapter 12  
A second chance at a first impression 

You turned around, praying you had misheard the voice, that it wasn’t who you thought it was.

Unfortunately, you recognised the voice all too well.

You saw Leon in the distance, running towards you. There was still some time to run, although Leon was fast. Very fast.

You decided to run. The interaction wouldn’t play out well no matter what you did, so running was the best option. 

“Hey, wait” Leon called out to you

You were almost out of sight, you just had to turn the corner and he would completely lose you. He’s awful with directions anyways. As if on cue, when you were only a few steps away from turning the corner, a minuscule pebble on the path was enough to send you flying face first into the concrete path. The momentum of you running was enough to scrape the first few layers of skin off your shoulders, arms, legs and face. It hurt. Badly.

You heard Leon’s footsteps getting closer and closer, you tried to pull yourself up off the ground but failed, the pain in your body too intense.

The footsteps slowed to a stop and you saw his familiar shoes next to you. You pulled your gaze up to his face which displayed a considerable amount of worry. 

“Are you okay? That fall looked rough” he asked. 

You nodded, and once again attempted to pull yourself up, successfully getting to your knees. Leon held out a hand to help you up and you quickly shuffled away, not wanting to prolong the interaction further.

When he saw you skittering away, his face softened.

“Look, I’m not here to hurt you. No need to be so skittish. I just want to have a little chat” he explained. Gently smiling at you. It was the same smile he showed you when you first met him. It had the same comforting feeling.

After pulling yourself to your feet, noticing two large rips at the knees of your jeans. You took a deep breath in and looked towards him.

A second chance at a first impression.

“I saw your battle with Nessa, why don’t we sit down and have a little chat for a bit?” He sat down on a nearby bench, patting the empty space next to him, signalling you to sit with him. You obliged and sat at the edge of the bench, visibly tense.

“So you’re A/N, right?” He asked, you simply nodded in response.

“So is that your real name or?” He continued. You didn’t respond, instead staring at the ocean that glimmered in the evening light.

He dropped the question when it became apparent you weren’t going to answer “So, did you just start training recently or have you been a trainer for a while?” 

“I just started, I’m relatively new to battling” you truthfully responded.

“You have a good strategy for a beginner, I can’t wait to see what kind of trainer you become” he proclaimed, a bit louder than you would have liked.

“So, what’s the mask for?” He finally asked. You anticipated this question and didn’t feel like answering, so you stayed silent. 

Leon persisted, even after you were silent for a while. “Is it because you’re shy? Or because you don’t want to be recognised? Or do you have a scar on your face that you want to hide?” He questioned you.

He wasn’t going to take your silence for an answer. So you responded truthfully. “It’s because I feel safe when I wear it” 

“Hm?”

You sighed. “It doesn’t make much sense, but I just like wearing it. I don’t want people who know me to recognise me when I’m battling. I know it’s strange but I only feel comfortable battling while I’m wearing it.” 

“Why though? You haven’t lost a single battle! That’s something you should be really proud of” he playfully knocked your shoulder. 

“It’s not going to stay that way, I’m going to lose at some point, and I don’t want people I know seeing me like that.” You explained, trying to keep the annoyance in your voice to a minimum.

“I get that, so it kind of is because your shy? Well there’s no need for that! You shouldn’t let the thought of losing get you down so much” he grinned at you.

“Easy for you to say.” You muttered under your breath. Leon heard it and laughed it off.

“Okay, okay, final question. Why don’t you dynamax?” 

“I don’t know” you whispered 

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that” Leon said as he leaned closer to you, his head only a few inches behind yours.

“I said, I don’t know!” You told him, anger present in your voice. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?

When Leon recoiled from your slight outburst you immediately felt awful. Why did you say that! You just made the situation so much worse. Typical. 

“Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry” he said as he held his hands up in front of him in an apologetic way. “I just wanted to talk to you because...” he paused for a bit 

“You remind me of someone. Her name is Y/N.... I endorsed her but she never took part.”

You felt yourself freeze, but tried your best not to show it.

“I hoped I could convince her to try, but I guess not...” he trailed off. You felt guilt rising in your stomach, it felt awful. You had convinced yourself you had done the right thing by inventing A/N, but now you weren’t so sure. You had hurt Leon, Hop, Victor. Made them all worry and think they could have helped you, when in fact, you had been lying to them the whole time.

“Y/N? I know her” you blurted out of nowhere. “We met a few days ago, I saw her as I was leaving Milo’s gym” you continued.

What were you doing? You were asking to get caught at this point.

“Really?” Leon asked, eyes wide.

“Mhm, she definitely looks up to you a lot” you said. This would be a good time to say your true feelings, without saying them directly.

“You were basically all she talked about, she went on and on about how nice you were, and how much you changed her outlook on things. Although she did say she felt guilty about not accepting your endorsement, but other than that, all she had was praise for you” you said, pouring out all your feelings in a cautious way.

“Wow... I had no idea.” Leon said, he looked shocked, confused, yet happy at the same time? It was hard to tell. He looked down at the bench and thought in silence for a bit before he looked back up towards you and smiled. 

“I really enjoyed this little chat. Thanks, A/N.”

“It’s no problem” you reassured him “although I should get back to my room now, I need to get some rest” you told him as you climbed off the bench. Already walking in the direction of the inn.

“Bye Leon!” You yelled, before running off towards the Inn, ready to collapse onto a bed after a very long day.

He didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye, because before he knew it, you were gone, leaving him alone on the bench gazing over the cool blue ocean that shone under the moonlight.


	13. A Morning to think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> F/C= favourite colour
> 
> I wrote quite a bit today and  
> considered posting an extra long chapter, but I’ve decided to split it into two because there was too much and it would be pretty cluttered if it was all in one chapter. The next chapter is almost done, so it will probably be out in a few hours, if not, tomorrow. Stay fresh xx

Chapter 13  
A morning to think

The next day rolled around, sunlight streamed into your room. Luckily you hadn’t set an alarm, so you were free to lie in bed for as long as you wanted. It didn’t help that your legs ached every time you tried to move them. The prospect of staying in bed all day was becoming more and more tempting, and there was no Pokemon to jump or bark at you if you didn’t get up on time. So you turned over, and went back to sleep.

A few hours passed by, you were deep in slumber. Peaceful. There wasn’t anything to worry about while you were asleep. No A/N, no possibility of losing, no anything. It felt nice to feel calm, it was certainly a feeling you hadn’t felt in a long while.

When you finally awoke for good, you instinctively reached over to look at your phone, the texts you received, news broadcasts, and if there were any new posts on social media you could like. 

Upon opening it, you were greeted with several missed calls and texts, mostly from Hop although there were a few from Victor and two texts from your mother. The thing that shocked you most however, was the time. 

10:28 AM. 

You sighed, it had been a while since you had slept in, especially to that degree. It almost felt as if there was no point getting up, but you knew it would be cruel to leave your Pokemon trapped in their pokeballs all day, although the room in the inn certainly wasn’t big enough for all 5 of them to come out at once.

You settled on going home, you’d have to eventually, and anyways, your mother was going to be returning from her trip today, so you had that to look forward to as well. With a huge sigh, you pulled yourself out the warm blankets and up to a sitting position. Opening your phone and having a look at your missed messages.

Apparently Hop had come to visit you last night, and got concerned when he found the house empty. He sure was clingy, but that was part of why you liked him, he checked on you quite frequently. You quickly shot back a short text explaining that you were, not in fact dead, and had just spent the night at an inn. Although you didn’t say why, in fear of causing suspicion.

You checked the texts from Victor secondly, he seemed to have gotten roped into Hop’s shenanigans, although his texts were a lot less panicky than Hop’s. He simply asked where you were and if you were okay, you were great full for him not bombarding you with messages, unlike a certain someone.

Finally, you checked the two messages from your mum, and as soon as you read the first sentence, your heart sank.

“Hello sweetie! I know you were expecting me back today but there’s been a sudden contract change and problems with our flight. It might be about a month before I can get home, I’ve transferred some money into your account for groceries, I’m so sorry for this but there’s nothing I can do.”

“Love you xx”

You abruptly shut your phone off, not even bothering to type out a reply to her. Now you were in this, and you were alone. You felt anger starting to bubble inside you, and you abruptly pushed it down before you did anything stupid.

Just breathe.

You ran to the small bathroom in your room, discarding your phone on the tiled floor. Everything was going to be fine, just take a shower, and calm down.

Discarding your clothes on the floor, you stepped into the shower and turned the knob, letting the cool water wash over you. It felt refreshing, and washed away any of the grogginess from getting out of bed late. 

As you washed yourself, yesterday’s battle kept replaying in your head. For someone who was completely unprepared, you did pretty well. Although the victory was close, too close for your liking. You couldn’t afford to lose. Not now, and you certainly couldn’t afford to slip up like yesterday and get yourself out of your depth. No pun intended.  
After rinsing your sorrows away, you climbed out the shower and wrapped yourself in a big fluffy towel. Taking your dirty clothes to the sink and dumping them in there. You’d wash them later. For now, you sat on your bed, towel still wrapped tightly around you, and scrolled through your social media.

There were a lot of new posts, mostly about people getting tickets to go see the battles in the stadium. Only one post caught your eye, a picture Raihan had posted. It was just a sandstorm. Nothing else. The amount of likes surprised you, although this was Raihan, so maybe not too surprising. 

Seeing the post from Raihan made you realise something. After Kabu, you would be heading to Hammerlocke. THE Hammerlocke. It seemed so close, but so far at the same time. You never expected to get this far. It all seemed like such a distant thing. A thought you couldn’t comprehend. But now you were here, and you had to confront it.

You expected your usual rush of self-deprecating thoughts. Reminding you of how useless you were, of how little you mattered. You expected to dread the things to come, to not think you were worth the time of day. 

But those thoughts never came.

Instead you felt happy, excited almost. 

It was confusing, to say the least. Why did you feel so high when normally you would feel so low? Was it the victory against Nessa? Or was it being A/N? Nothing made sense. You weren’t good at dealing with your feelings at the best of times, and now this? You couldn’t even talk to anyone about it because that would bring up the question of “why?”, and that was something you couldn’t risk.

You sat the phone down on the bed. You considered sending a text to Hop to ask about this, but decided against it. You could do this alone. You had to now.

“Well, might as well get changed” you thought allowed, digging through your bag to find your regular clothes. They were F/C and they suited you well. You always felt a little more confident when wearing them, sure it wasn’t much, but it was something.

After throwing the towel to the floor and finishing changing into your clothes, you took a look at yourself in the mirror. 

“Not bad at all” you thought. “Especially for someone who slept half the day”.

Your clothes were still in the sink, The towel was still on the floor, and there was still water all over the bathroom from when you took a shower. Although you could clean that up later. Right now, you had hungry Pokemon waiting to be fed.

You looked around the room, it was fairly small, it could probably fit all 5 Pokemon, but it wouldn’t leave them with much room. It would be much more sensible to let them out outside, reduce the risk of them hurting themselves due to lack of space....

But who were you kidding? You couldn’t risk people seeing your Pokemon and making the connection between you and A/N. Without a second thought, you flung all five of the pokeballs Into the room, the room was immediately filled with hungry Pokemon, roaring, barking, meowing and screeching. The noise was enough to shake the room, and you shushed your Pokemon as you got them all to quiet down.

You attended to the three smaller Pokemon first, giving them their breakfast/lunch as if nothing happened. Then you turned to the two larger ones.

They seemed more downhearted than usual, and you spotted them gazing longing out the window a few times, over at Hulbury stadium.  
You put two and two together and quickly pulled Musdale and Lapras into a tight hug.

“It’s okay, I know you two want to battle, but I can’t risk it right now, I promise I will use you soon though” you comforted them. It didn’t do much, but both of them seemed to perk up quite a bit at your words, accepting their food with haste and finishing quickly.

Quickly recalling all five of them, you grabbed what was remaining in your bag and walked out the door. Leaving the room in a state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fingers hurt from typing so much LOL.


	14. Observer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the “kinda” late upload. My phone keeps dying on me. New chapter probably tomorrow. Again, any suggestions for A/N’s final Pokemon are much appreciated!
> 
> Love y’all

Chapter 14  
Observer

Hulbury was a beautiful town, the sea breeze and the brilliant view combined to make a perfect experience. It was relatively quiet too, which was even better. 

After pondering what to do for a bit, you decided to check on the stadium, see what challengers were battling Nessa today. There was nothing better to do, and you would have plenty of time to train your Pokemon as A/N over the weekend. So it would be best to wait until tomorrow to train for Kabu anyways.

You checked your phone on the way there, and saw an additional message from Hop, it read,

“Glad to know you’re safe! I’m omw to Hulbury right now, make sure to watch the match on TV!” 

Even better. Watching Hop’s match would be fun! Also you could talk to him afterwards, reassure him that you were still very much alive after his panicking yesterday.

You smiled and texted back.

“Not this time, I’m watching the match in person” 

You felt amazing just saying it, and for once you were excited to be in a crowd instead of scared. Your phone pinged 4 times in succession, Hop probably wasn’t used to you being as outgoing. You didn’t bother responding to them, you had tickets to buy. 

As you were in line at the reception, small purse in your hand, you couldn’t control the smile on your face.

You were going to watch Hop’s match, as Y/N. 

There was only a few people in line in front of you, and excitement was bubbling inside you. Just as there was only one person in front of you, you heard a voice behind you.

“Y/N?”

Ignoring the feeling of déjà vu, you turned around to see a man with familiar long purple hair.

Leon.

What luck.

The feeling of excitement subsided slightly, and was replaced by a small sense of dread. It didn’t make sense, you trusted Leon, right? Then why did you feel like something awful was about to go down.

He came running over, look of confusion displayed on his face. “What are you doing here?” He asked.

“I’ve come to see Hop’s battle against Nessa” you said with as much confidence as you could. His eyes widened even more and he looked at the line of people that had gotten significantly longer.  
“Are you sure? There’s going to be a huge crowd. I can take you home if you want?” He asked, trying his best to draw your attention away from the large amount of people around you. 

“No, I’m okay, I really want to watch Hop in person.” You explained “since I couldn’t do the challenge with him and all....” you knew that would convince Leon, you felt slightly guilty about lying, but it was an innocent white lie, and it seemed to work.

Leon’s face immediately brightened, he looked as excited as you were, almost, proud?

“That’s great! I’ll get you front row seats! I get free tickets for being the champion anyways.” He laughed slightly. “You can enter through this door” he led you to another door “it gets you right to the best seats without having to push through a huge crowd” he explained, pushing open the door and leading you down the steps, over to the seats right at the front of the stands.

It really was the best seats, you had a perfect view of everything on the battlefield, and there were several empty seats next to you, which made you feel less claustrophobic.

“I’m so glad you were able to come here Y/N, you’re definitely getting better with crowds, just let me know when things are getting too much, okay?” He reassured you. “Remember that you’ve not been in front of a crowd like this before, so it might be overwhelming for you.” 

“Actually I have, this is my 4th time now” you thought to yourself.

“Okay, I will, Leon” you told him. Confident you wouldn’t have to leave, you wouldn’t miss Hop’s match for the world.

It was only a few minutes before an announcement came over the loudspeakers, saying that challenger hop was now going to be battling Nessa. The crowd cheered, it was even louder being in the crowd than when you were on the pitch. Leon looked over to you worriedly, but was surprised when he saw you eagerly looking at the pitch, unfazed by the crowd. It was so much easier being in the crowd than being the person the crowd was watching. That much was clear to you. 

Hop lead with his dubwool, and the crowd screamed louder. Leon looked over at you concerned again, only to see you still focused on the battlefield.

——————

Two Pokemon down, and the audience’s cheers were growing louder and louder. Okay, maybe you couldn’t take it after all.

No, just breathe.

You took a deep breath in to calm yourself, before turning your attention back to the battlefield, seeing Nessa holding her luminescent red pokeball and ready to throw it to dynamax her Dreadnaw, Hop did the same with his own Pokemon and the crowd went wild. You could feel your vision start to blur again, panic setting in. 

You did the first thing that came to your mind. You grabbed Leon’s hand. Well, it was more like his wrist, but he understood all the same and adjusted his arm so you could hold him easier.

Both dynamax attacks shot off at full force, crashing into each other and causing water to spray all over the battlefield. It gave you nostalgia for your battle with Nessa, her max geyser completely overwhelming you, but Thwackey powering through it.

In the end, Hop emerged victorious and the cheers came to a peak when Nessa’s Dreadnaw collapsed to it’s regular small size. From the stands, you could see Hop celebrating, and you released your grip on Leon’s wrist as the noise of the crowd subsided. 

“So do you want to leave now? Or wait for the crowd to die down?” He whispered to you.  
“It’s fine, we can leave now” you said, which surprised Leon slightly.

When the two of you were back in the reception area, you both sat on a couch and waited for Hop to finish changing out of his challenger gear.

As you were waiting, Leon struck up a conversation.

“You surprised me today, you were a lot better with the crowd than I thought you’d be” he grinned at you.

“A-ah, I guess so” you stuttered, realising how suspicious it was for you to suddenly be okay with crowds when you panicked about the “crowd” that day in Postwick. Maybe you shouldn’t have come here.

“Seriously kid, I’m proud. I bet you’ll be battling in front of a crowd that big before you know it.” He playfully knocked the side of you, you tried to act casual.

“Mhm, yep, although that’s still pretty far off...” you said. 

“Lee! Y/N!” A voice called out.

You turned to see Hop in his familiar blue jacket, running towards the couch you and Leon were sitting on. Leon stood up and Hop flung himself at Leon, pulling him into a tight hug. 

“How’d it go?” Leon asked 

“It went great! I knew I could do it, even her Dreadnaw was no match for the trusty Hop and his Dubwool” he rambled, before turning his attention to you.

“Y/N! I can’t believe you actually came to watch me!” 

You laughed slightly 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world” you shakily replied, head still pounding slightly from the noise of the crowd.

“Yeah but you’ve never done anything like this before! You’re rubbish with crowds” he said. It was a bit more blunt that you would have liked, but you knew he wasn’t trying to be mean.

You nervously laughed, “well I’m getting better” you said, desperately trying to act casual, the more you thought about it the more you regretted coming here.

Hop pulled you into a tight hug. “I know! And I’m so happy! You’ll be doing the challenge yourself in no time!” 

After pulling away, he turned to the two of you. 

“So, do you want to get some lunch together?” Hop eagerly asked.

“Ah, no I should get home, I don’t want my Pokemon to worry” you lied, knowing full well you weren’t going home for a long while.

“What? But I didn’t see you all of yesterday, and now you want to go home already?!” He complained.

“She needs her rest Hop” Leon said aloud, before pulling Hop close and whispering something into his ear. Hops face changed from disappointment to its normal smile. You just hoped Leon hadn’t said anything bad.

“Ah, I get you. I’ll see you this evening then?” Hop questioned.  
“Yep! You sure will” you continued to lie. 

“Great! Thanks for coming to watch my battle!” He called out to you as you left the building.

You smiled back at him and ran out the doors of Hulbury stadium, making a beeline towards the Inn. You only had one thought as you went back to your room.

“Why did I do that?”

All that did was make both Hop and Leon more suspicious, as if they weren’t already. There was no way you could keep up this double life for much longer. You would have to make up an excuse.

When you opened the door to your room, you saw the mess that was previously on the floor all tidied up. Most likely by a room cleaner. You felt kind of bad that you left the room in such a state, but now all of the junk that you had left on the floor was neatly organised into neat piles. You dipped your head into the bathroom to see your clothes neatly folded on the side of the bath. They had clearly been washed by the floral scent and newfound softness to the fabric.

The bowls used to feed your Pokemon were washed and in a stack in the corner, and the remains of food that littered the floor were all brushed up. You smiled. Making a mental note to leave a tip when you finally left later today.

Well. So much for abandoning A/N for a bit. As you sat on your bed scrolling through social media, you had a subconscious urge to train. It wasn’t major, but you found yourself longingly looking at A/N’s outfit whenever you looked up from your phone. Battling just felt so.... exhilarating. It was hard to silence the thoughts in your head that were telling you to just put the mask on once more.

You know you shouldn’t. You knew you would just cause more suspicion, but you couldn’t help it.

Without thinking you were suddenly changing clothes, throwing on the newly-ripped jeans and tying your hair back.

You didn’t think twice before running out the door, pokeballs in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to add more so it isn’t just battle after battle. If it’s going too fast or too slow plz let me know <3


	15. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okayyyy, so my plans for the fight with kabu changed slightly. (Not anything major but i prefer it in hindsight) A/N will probably catch her last Pokemon sometime around gym 4 instead of before Kabu. again, update tomorrow! <3

Chapter 15  
Alone

Even though you just battled yesterday, training felt amazing, and Hulbury had good opponents. The water types went down easily to your Thwackey, who was just as happy to be training as you were.

It was therapeutic, in a way.

Although, maybe you should make your way back to Motostoke? You had business to attend to there after all. Something you had wanted to buy for a while, and the money you earned from battling Milo, Nessa and a few other trainers was just enough to buy what you wanted. Although it might be better to head there in the evening as you would have to leave the Inn then. 

As you fought your 13th battle, another question surfaced. “Where am I going to stay?” It should have been a bigger deal to you, but you were able to push it down. Home wasn’t an option. You knew you would feel a rush of anger if you ever stepped near it. So you couldn’t. However, there was one place you knew you would be okay.

Seconds, minutes, hours passed. 

You saw the familiar sight of the setting sun, it’s beauty was amplified by the ocean, creating a view that looked straight out of a painting. You wanted to stop and admire it, it was very tempting. Yet you knew you didn’t have much time. Motostoke wasn’t too far away, but it wasn’t ideal to walk in the pitch black.   
You ran to the inn and shoved the few things you had left back into your bag, which wasn’t a lot considering you had only brought a single backpack as your only form of carrying stuff around. Not the wisest idea in hindsight, but it was certainly convenient.

After paying the fee and leaving a large tip, you ran towards the galar mines, backpack hitting your back with every step you took. 

————————

After reaching the entrance, you were amazed by the beauty of the mines, small luminescent crystals hid in nooks and crannies, several stalactites hung from the top of the cave like teeth. It was certainly a sight.

Pressing forward, you saw a large body of water, along with..... 

“Oh, you must be the A/N I keep hearing about” the boy spoke.

A boy around your age walked up to you, he wore a long pink coat and had an overall smug demeanour, immediately, your anxiousness came back at full force.

“Huh, a challenger that doesn’t even have the guts to show their face? Whoever endorsed you must have been of their rocker” he scoffed.

You were already angry from the incident with your mum earlier, this was not helping. You clenched you’re fists, determined to stay in control and not do anything rash.

“I’m Bede, the challenger endorsed by the chairman” he emphasised the word chairman, showing off to you. “I don’t have time for pathetic challengers like you. If you think you’re worth my time, come talk to me after you earn a fire badge” he smirked at you before walking off. Your blood was boiling, although you tried not to show it.

Why did he have to be such a jerk for no reason?

You took a deep breath in, determined to not let his words get to you. Although the longer you walked, the longer you stewed in your anger. 

Just breathe. 

After reaching the end of the mines, you finally found your way to Motostoke. The sun was almost completely set, small dribbles of sunlight vaguely illuminating the sky. The cool evening air brushed against you, which calmed you slightly.

All the way through Motostoke, you heard whispers behind you.

“Is that A/N?”  
“She’s so cool!”  
“What’s she doing here?”  
“Who is she, really?”  
“What does she look like under the mask?”

There was also a few snide comments that you ignored. You had had enough for today. You just wanted to go to sleep. 

When you spotted the correct store, your face lit up and you dashed inside, money already in your hand. You quickly explained what you wanted to the cashier and she brought a large red bag over to the counter.

Camping gear.

Your problems seemed to dissolve as you handed over the money and the cashier gave you the large red bag. You were actually going camping! By yourself! And there was no need to worry about people seeing you. 

Things were starting to look up already.

Bag in hand, you sprinted to your usual secluded spot in the wild area, there were enough trees around to hide the tent from any trainers passing by, and the spot was secluded enough so that you could only find it if you consciously looked for it.

After reaching the spot, you began pulling the poles and fabric out of the bag. It looked like a complex puzzle, but with some persuasion, you managed to assemble it relatively well. It didn’t immediately collapse, so that was something at least. 

You didn’t have to go home anymore.

After allowing your team to get some much-needed fresh air, you sat on the grass and tried to relax.

“It’s just me here” you thought “I’m.... alone....” 

That last thought stuck in your head a bit. Up until this point you knew that this was what you wanted. You couldn’t let anyone else know about being A/N, but now you weren’t so sure.

You were alone, and for once you didn’t like it.

Marnie’s words rung in your head.

“I understand how you wouldn’t want people to see you fail, but what about when you succeed? Do you not want to tell people about that?”

You hated to admit it, but she was right. Right now, you should be at the top of the world, you successfully earned a grass and water badge, no one has clicked who A/N really is and you get to battle as much as you want.

So why did you feel so bad?

With a groan, you fell back on the grass. Is this really what you wanted? It felt as though you had no other options, although you knew that wasn’t true. It would be easy to just take the mask off, show the audience that you weren’t scared. Is that what you wanted?

You clutched your head. “Why does everything have to be so complicated!” You groaned, attracting the attention of your Pokemon which huddled around you. 

You half heartedly patted growlithe’s head. Your own head still swirling with thoughts. You felt so nauseous, but most of all lonely. It was infuriating.

You knew you would have to do something to take your mind off this. Stewing in anger and loneliness wouldn’t get you anywhere. Your mind wandered for a bit before you remembered that the camping kit came with a pot for cooking.

“Who wants curry?” You asked your Pokemon. Their frantic barking, screeching and hopping around proved that they were just as hungry as you were.

Gently taking the pot out of the case, you haphazardly threw in a few berries before closing the lid. Now you just needed a heat source, but you didn’t have a lighter.......

“Growlithe! Ember!” You ordered, pointing at the small pile of sticks beneath the pot. It ignited quickly and the pot began to bubble within a few minutes.

—————

You pushed the plates of curry towards your Pokemon. Allowing them to try it first in case it was rubbish. Your skitty was the first to give it a small bite, and you could tell by her purrs that it was safe to eat. 

The rest of you dug in, eating frantically due to skipping breakfast.

It seemed as though it was gone in a flash, galar curry truly was the best in the world.

As you began to wash the dishes, you heard someone just beyond the trees.

“Morpeko! That’s the wrong way!”

When you saw a familiar Morpeko come charging through the trees, you froze, knowing there was no escape. You were unmasked, and there was no way you could get to your bag in time. 

A familiar figure stepped out from the trees, looking directly at you.

“A/N?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	16. Brief Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this came out faster than expected. It’s 1AM for me right now so I guess this counts as tomorrow? Anyways, probably a second update later today since I’m writing a lot as of late. Stay hydrated <3

Chapter 16  
Brief Honesty 

“Frick”

Marnie swatted away a few rouge branches and approached you, you instinctively covered your face with your hands, but you knew it was too late, the damage had been done.

“D-Don’t look at me!” 

“But I already-“

“No! Don’t look, please”

“A/N, calm down, it’s not that big a deal”

“Please..... just look away”

Marnie covered her eyes, you peered through your hands, making sure she wasn’t looking, before grabbing the mask and sunglasses from your bag and slipping them on quickly.

“Okay, now you can look” you sighed.

Marnie removed her hands from her face and walked over to you, her Morpeko still by your feet. Why did you slip up this badly? Why? It wasn’t meant to go like this. 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind what you look like” she reassured you.

“It’s not that. I just..” you trailed off. “Can you please forget what you saw?” You pleaded.

“Why? I don’t recognise you from anywhere? You don’t need to hide from me.” She gently patted your shoulder and pushed you down to sit on the floor, she did the same and crossed her legs.

“You will eventually. I just- It wasn’t meant to go like this” you stuttered through tears. “I- thought I could hide from my old life for a while” tears began welling you in your eyes.

Marnie scooted over to you, her eyes fixed on yours. Even if she couldn’t see your eyes right now, she had seen the fear in your eyes when she first saw you. She knew it wasn’t okay.

“It’s okay, we can talk about this. If you want, that is” she gently said.

“Sorry, I just need to calm down for a bit.” You explained, adjusting yourself so you were facing the sky. There was barley any clouds, and the stars shone bright. It also wasn’t too cold, which was good as your hoodie wasn’t the warmest.

Marnie adjusted herself to join you, also gazing at the many stars above her. “It’s so nice out tonight. You can see the stars so clearly.”

“Yeah, you’re right” you responded.

You sat in silence for a bit, allowing you to gather your thoughts. Marnie didn’t seem to mind who you were, but that’s because she didn’t know who Y/N was. She doesn’t know who you used to be. Although maybe if you explained it to her? No. You couldn’t. There wasn’t any point.

“So, you wanna talk about it?” Marnie asked, breaking the silence.

“Do I have a choice?” You asked.

“Yes, but I’m still curious” she replied. “How are you feeling?” 

Shards of emotions were floating around your head. Everything was jumbled. Like a jigsaw that was missing half the pieces, or a glass bowl that had been smashed beyond repair. On one hand, you felt happy, but on the other you felt mortified. Being seen unmasked was like being stripped bare in the middle of the street. You couldn’t hide. You had been stripped of the one thing that made you feel safe. 

Although, it wasn’t as bad as you thought? It could have been so much worse. It could have been in the middle of a stadium, or in front of Leon, or anything, by comparison, this was pretty good.

“I’m not sure” you truthfully responded. “It feels good but bad at the same time”

“That’s understandable, although I guess it would have been worse if I knew you beforehand.” Marnie continued to stare up at the stars. “I mean, I still don’t know who you really are” 

“My name is Y/N” you whispered. “My real name”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Y/N” she joked. “I don’t care what your name or real name is, it doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is that I can beat you in the gym challenge”

You laughed for once. It hurt, but that was okay. 

“If you see me.... as Y/N....” you started to say, before trailing off to silence. Marnie didn’t respond, she waited for you to finish.

“Please, act like this never happened. Especially if I’m with Hop or Victor, okay?” You finally finished.

“Sure, if it means this much to you, I won’t let anyone else know” 

Tears that had been on the brink of falling finally fell. Rolling down your face and leaving salty trails behind. Things were definitely not ideal.

Upon hearing your muffled sobs, Marnie rolled over next to you, wrapping her arms around you. Admittedly a lot more gentle than you expected.

“it’s okay, I’ll make sure that no one finds out. Don’t cry, please” she comforted you.

“I- thank you” you said through sobs. “I just wish you never saw me like this”

“It’s alright” she told you.

The two of you hugged for a while, with nothing but the sounds of your sobs. Marnie was surprisingly warm, and you didn’t want to let go of her.

Eventually she had to pull away, and propped herself up to a sitting position, you did the same, wiping your tears away gently.

“Feel better?” Marnie asked

“For sure” you replied.

“Good, mind if I crash here for tonight? I’ve got my own camping gear with me” she softly asked, pulling out a similar-looking bag to the one your tent came in.

“No problem, need any help with the tent?” You asked, getting to your feet. 

“Should be okay” she replied, you felt like being helpful anyways, so you hovered around her, until she eventually caved and handed you a few poles.

————————

3:48 AM.

Your rotom phone flew around you, mocking you. Due to what had happened earlier, your mind had be plagued with awful thoughts, much worse than before. They were worse than you had ever had, which was saying something. The idea of what people would say if it got out who you were, the judgment, anger, most of all, disappointment.

With every second that passed, you regretted starting this journey more and more. The faint snores from Marnie’s tent only made you overthink more. At this rate, there was no way you were sleeping.

Your rotom phone was about to land on the tent floor, when you grabbed it. You didn’t know what you were doing. You just knew you had things you wanted to say. Although when you thought about it, sending that kind of text would only make things worse. With a sigh, you put the phone down. Ready to spend the rest of the night awake.

Was there any point?

Another thought spontaneously came to you. It was just as stupid as the previous ones , but it’s took out to you because it offered an escape.

You grabbed the pokeballs that were resting on the ground next to the bag, and quickly began collapsing the tent, careful to be as quiet as possible. Whenever Marnie’s snoring stopped momentarily, you would stay still and hold your breath until her snores resumed.

It only took a few minutes to completely pack up everything. 

Without a word, you ran back to the wild area. Determined to put the time to good use.

You were going to challenge Kabu on day one.

And if you won, you would remove your mask in front of the whole crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly considering scrapping this chapter entirely and going back to my original idea, but I’ve decided that this works better for the overall story, and the next few chapters will flow better with the reveal to Marnie.


	17. Burnt to ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is out late bcuz I’ve been REALLY busy as of late, family members having birthdays and all that jazz. So sorry for the slightly late upload. Although I do hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked writing this chapter, so I hope you do too. Once again, any suggestions appreciated. I'm away for this weekend, and I've been REALLLLLLY busy recently. So the next chapter will be out whenever I can get it out. Don't worry, the work is not abandoned.

Chapter 17  
Burnt to Ashes

It was time.

Standing outside the Motostoke gym, it felt as though your heart was about to pound out of your chest. You were really going to do this? What was Hop going to say? What would Leon say?

During the training, growlithe learned crunch and Thwackey learned slam. Looking at the team, it really wasn’t suited for Kabu, but there was no other option, risk people recognising Lapras? Of course not. Even though you planned on revealing yourself, there was always the possibility of you losing.

“You alright, miss?” The league staff behind the counter asked, noticing you had spaced out,

“Ah, yes, just a bit nervous” you truthfully responded, could you really do it? Could you really beat Kabu?

The words rung in your head, but you were able to push them back, you had already beaten two gym leaders, you should be able to pull through, right?

With a deep breath, you pushed forwards and to the challenge area. Allowing the heat to wash over you. It only made your heart beat faster, although, admittedly, it wasn’t as bad as any of the previous battles. You felt strangely, calm? Excited? It was difficult to tell.

The challenge was simple. All you had to do was knock out a few Pokemon. Five to be exact. None of the Pokemon caught your eye, which was good, as you didn’t want to have an additional fire type. With only one additional space in your party, it wouldn’t be good to have two of the same type.

The trainers were supposed to be a hinderance, although they mostly helped to knock out the Pokemon. Growlithe was able to tank any fire type hits from them. The fight with Kabu was what you were worried about. Being called “the man of fire” was certainly intimidating. Along with all the stories of challengers giving up because they can’t defeat Kabu.

Stop it! You can do this.

It felt as though the challenge portion was over in seconds, although you knew it was much longer in reality. The anticipation was killing you. You wouldn’t have to hide anymore, one battle. One win. That’s all it would take.

The battlefield was humid, heat hung in the air. Most likely from the previous battle. Despite it being so open, it felt so stuffy, so small.

The familiar cheers rang out across the pitch as you made your way to the centre to meet Kabu. His face displayed a serious expression, combined with the audience, it was almost enough to make you cower in fear, but you stood firm and tried not to show how terrified you were.

“You are certainly an interesting trainer, I’ve had my eyes on you for a while. I just hope you haven’t overestimated your abilities” he said, there was a gravelly tone to his voice, which only upped the intimidation factor. 

You simply nodded in response, then took your place at the opposite end of the pitch.

Familiar music blared, it was almost routine at this point. Kabu looked across at you before sending out his Ninetales, it was majestic looking, just gazing at it captivated you completely.

There wasn’t time to stand there in amazement! Fumbling with your pokeballs, you grabbed Thwackey’s and threw it out. She looked so small compared to the huge beast in front of her, combined with the type disadvantage, You realised that you might not win this.

You could only try.

“Slam” you yelled, Thwackey charged forwards and landed a solid hit on the ninetales, however the ninetales shook it off as though it was nothing, despite doing around half its health.

Sweat dropped down your face, you couldn’t tell if it was from the intense heat or feeling of impending doom.

Possibly both.

Kabu called out a fire spin, and the ninetales came crashing into Thwackey at rapid speed, flames trailed behind it. You couldn’t watch. This wasn’t going to end well.

When you opened your eyes, you saw Thwackey already on the ground, fainted. Oh Arceus. 

Quickly recalling her, you sent out growlithe. Hoping that he could take a few hits from the Ninetales. 

“Crunch” you said, trying to keep optimism in your voice.

He rushed forward, clamping down hard on the Ninetales. It was enough to knock it out, before it had a chance to do any additional damage.

One down. Two to go.

When kabu sent out his second Pokemon, any hope you had of winning the battle abruptly dried up. Arcanine, the evolved version of growlithe. There was no way you were going to win this fight. 

Out of desperation, you called out another crunch, but it was useless, Kabu ordered the Arcanine to use extreme speed, and it was able to do half of Growlithe’s health.

The crunch did a bit of damage, although it was pitiful compared to what the Arcanine did. There wasn’t any point. Growlithe was going down and there was nothing you could do.

Growlithe was hit by one more extreme speed, causing him to fall to the ground, completely unresponsive. He had fainted, and the crowd was going wild.

Kabu looked at you expectedly, ready for your next Pokemon to be thrown out, but you only looked back at him with sad eyes, sad eyes he couldn’t see as they were covered by your mask. 

What option did you have? Use Lapras or Musdale? No way. That wasn’t an option. But what other option was there. To admit defeat?

Yes.

You sighed and recalled growlithe, before walking up to Kabu, spirit completely broken. He looked at you questioningly, but he recalled his Arcanine and shook your hand gently.

“Why don’t you use your additional Pokemon?” He asked. You didn’t respond. There wasn’t anything to say now.

He dropped the question when he realised you wouldn’t answer. “Well, don’t be too down, you can challenge me again tomorrow or Wednesday. I’ll see how you’ve grown then, but until then, train hard, and don’t give up” he said, although it was hard to listen to him as his face was still serious and his voice still husky.

You nodded, before leaving. The open air was calming, especially after the heat of the stadium. Although you couldn’t focus on that right now. You couldn’t focus on anything. There wasn’t anything you could do. Except go home.

You quickly called a flying taxi to Postwick, the battle replaying in your head over and over. It got more and more infuriating each time. Why did you think you could do it?

When the taxi arrived, you hopped in without a word. All you said to the driver was “postwick” before continuing the journey in silence.

Upon arriving in front of your street, you handed over your cash. Before running down the street, straight towards the front door of your house.

Entering the door gave a rush of negative emotions. How your own mother couldn’t even make time for you. How she didn’t care of even bother to ask how you were doing. It was funny. Funny how bad it hurt.

Combined with the emotions from the loss against Kabu, it was all too much.

You ran to the bed, and cried.

Why were you such a failure?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was a bit more angst than I would have liked. But eh. There’s even more angst on the way. Also. Who should Y/N fight for the fourth gym? Bea or Alister? I personally played shield myself, although I think Gordie would be fun to write. Let me know!


	18. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so soooo sorry for how late this is. I'm away right now with no internet access. So thanks for your patience <3 this is an extra long chapter. So buckle in and enjoy! New chapter within a few days

Chapter 18  
Recovery

I'm so sorry for how late this chapter is. I tried to make this one extra long to make up for it. Enjoy <3

When you looked over at the clock beside your bed, it displayed the time 12:34. You had cried for nearly 2 hours. Wow. What a winner you were. 

Your first instinct was to check your phone, a couple missed messages from Hop, and a few from Victor. When you saw there was none from your mother, a small bit of pain shot through you. She really didn't care, huh?

Although one thing did catch your attention slightly.

Three messages from Marnie. You had exchanged numbers when the two of you camped together, she was quite sweet over the phone, despite having only sent a few messages to make sure the number was correct. Now, the three new ones caught your eye.

"I saw the fight against Kabu, you doing okay?"

"Want to call or talk in person?"

"If you're asleep just text me back when you can"

Those simple messages were enough to calm the thoughts that pounded in your head slightly. They were still bad, just not AS bad. You quickly typed out a response.

"I'm okay, thanks for checking on me" you lied. You weren't okay. Definitely not. Although you let yourself believe the lie. There was no point in wallowing, you had to do something.

Although what was the point? You lost. You failed. Everything you feared would happen just happened. The hopeless feeling you had been dreading came back at full force. Why should you continue?

You decided to read the messages from Hop and Victor. Hopefully they would ease your mind slightly.

Deciding to read Victor's first, they read,

"Me and Hop are going out training today, wanna come with?"

"You don't have to, it's just gonna be in the no2 galar mines if you feel like tagging along"

You smiled at your phone, perfect. An excuse to get out the house. If you stayed inside, you would go crazy with your own self deprecation. You quickly grabbed growlithe, Lapras and Skitty's pokeballs. Opting to leave Musdale and Grookey at the house.

Upon arriving at the mines, you heard Victor and Hop talking about something, well, more like arguing.

"Hop, it's not that hard, just cast the rod like this-"

"I DONT DO THIS OFTEN, SOD OFF MATE"

You stood a few steps behind the two, Hop was visibly struggling with his fishing rod and Victor was attempting to help him. Although Hop looked frustrated, swatting Victor's hands away whenever he attempted to correct his grip.

"Am I interrupting something?" You quietly asked

The two turned to you, both of their faces lighting up upon seeing you. 

"Y/N! You came!" Hop exclaimed, dropping his fishing rod and running towards you, Victor scrambled to pick up the fishing rod before Hop stood on it and broke it.

"Ah... Hi Hop." You said, faking a smile.

"I've not seen you in ages! Where have you been?" He asked, pulling you into a hug, he didn't realise how good the hug felt. You wanted nothing more than to break down into his arms. To cry on his shoulder and pour out everything on your mind, but you knew you couldn't, and so you simply hugged him back halfheartedly.

"I should be the one saying that! You saw her when she came to see your battle." Victor said, adjusting the string on the rod that had come loose when Hop dropped it.

"Still! That's way too long! What have you been up to anyways?" Hop questioned, pulling away from the hug.

"I've been training. Even though I'm not doing the challenge with you, I like to feel as though I am." You lied. Lying was becoming more and more frequent, and more and more selfish. 

"That's so sweet! How's your training going anyways?" Victor asked.

"It's going great Th- I mean Grookey is doing great!" You continued to lie. "She really likes battling with me." You finished

"That's great! My raboot is doing really well! I bet I can take down Kabu in no time!" Hop bragged

The conversation continued for a while, Hop and Victor telling stories about their adventures so far, their battles with the gym leaders, and the various Pokemon they met and caught along the way.

The more you listened to all of their successes, the more prominent your loss was in your mind. Things felt worse and worse by the minute, although you attempted to hide it for Hop and Victor's sakes.

Eventually, the conversation switched to training, the reason you came in the first place. After Victor gave Hop a lengthy explanation of how to use a fishing rod, the two split up to train in separate parts of the mines, you decided to go with Hop.

"So... caught any new Pokemon as of late?" He asked you, the bobber gently floating on the water's surface.

"Nope, I already have 5. That's all I need, right? Not many trainers have all 6 Pokemon." You replied, mind still going over what happened earlier.  
"Come on mate! If you plan on becoming champion, you're gonna need all six!" Hop rambled  
"I haven't decided on what I want on my team yet, but I know I'm going to have six, and I'll make sure they are all as strong as they can possibly be!"

"Sure thing, hop." You halfheartedly said.

All of a sudden, the bobber was pulled under, and Hop nearly let go of the rod. You panicked and grabbed a random pokeball from your belt. Throwing it out in preparation for a battle.

"Hop! Don't let go!" You yelled, grabbing the rod and yanking it upwards. A dark shape jumped out of the water, and both you and Hop fell backwards, hitting the ground hard.

You didn't even have a chance to see what it was that you fished up, because as you were trying to get your bearings from falling, Lapras shot off an attack, hitting the shape and causing it to fall back into the water with a large splash.

The two of you sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, before Hop burst out laughing.

"Wow Y/N! Didn't know your Lapras was that strong!" He said through laughter.

"Yeah... can you please get off of me?" You asked. Hop was fairly light so it didn't hurt too badly, although it still wasn't desirable.

"Ah, sorry mate" he said as he scrambled to his feet, laughter dying down.

When you got to your feet as well. You couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't keep acting as though you were okay. 

"H-hop?" You began, causing Hop to turn to you. A more serious expression overtook his face when he saw your face.

"You've lost before. Right?" You asked cautiously

" 'Course I have. I've lost to Victor and I've lost to a bunch of random trainers as well." He replied

"H-how? How do you keep going? Does it not feel like the end of the world" you asked, tears began welling up but you forced them down. 

Hop was oblivious to your situation. "Well, yeah. Losing gets you down in the dumps for a while. Until you realise it just makes you stronger. At least, that's what Lee told me."

You nodded, a single tear started to roll down your cheeks but you quickly wiped it away before Hop could see. The dark lighting of the cave also helped. For as smart as he was, Hop could be kind of bad at reading people.

"O-okay. Thanks." You replied, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible. If it was Victor, he would have noticed something was up straight away, you thanked your past self for choosing to go with Hop.

The urge to pull Hop into your arms and never let go was overwhelming. You just wanted to talk to someone, but you couldn't. You put yourself in this situation and now you had to get yourself out of it.

"Want to go get lunch? I'm starving!" Hop complained, dragging you towards the exit of the cave before you had a chance to respond. 

"What about Victor? We can't just leave him here!" You protested.

"Ah, whoops, almost forgot." Hop giggled "VICTOR, WE'RE GOING TO GET LUNCH, WANT TO COME WITH US?" He yelled. His voice echoed throughout the cave and you covered your ears. He certainly was loud.

A set of footsteps came closer and closer, until Victor was suddenly standing in front of the two of you. "Sure, I'm pretty hungry myself to be honest" he replied, before following the two of you out the mine.

He noticed your red face and slightly bloodshot eyes, but decided not to mention it.

The light was blinding, especially without your sunglasses and from being in the dark cave for so long. Although it was also strange to be in Motostoke as Y/N, and with Hop and Victor by your side. It was nice, but also scary. Motostoke was pretty big. And it felt even bigger without a mask to hide behind.

Okay. Breathe.

It's going to be okay, don't panic.

You didn't believe it, but tried your best to ignore all the thoughts in your head that told you to run all the way back to Postwick.

"Oooh~ this place looks good. How about we grab lunch in here?" Hop asked, pointing to a small place with a few people inside. Victor nodded, pulling you inside before you had the chance to answer.

This was becoming a more frequent occurrence.

Strangely, you didn't mind it.

"Look! That one looks delicious!" Hop exclaimed, pointing to a picture of a smoothie. Admittedly, it did look delicious, and eating could probably help take your mind off of the loss. 

"Yeah! It looks really nice! I think I'll have one of them as well!" You said as you took a table.

\------------------

The three of you were stuffed. The food was even better than expected and helped take your mind away from the situation at hand. You were able to relax a bit, and enjoy your meal while maintaining a conversation with the two challengers.

Upon leaving, the mood was significantly lighter than in the cave. No one brought up your weird questions or slightly damp cheeks. All was well.

Until you spotted someone. 

A familiar, dark haired girl.

You froze, the confidence seeping from you like a balloon that had been pricked with a needle. You prayed that she wouldn't notice you, but of course she did, and she approached the three of you just as you were leaving the building.

"Oh, hey! Marnie!" Hop called as she walked over.

"How's it going you three?" She asked gently 

"Great! We've been training for ages! We're just finished having lunch." Hop explained.

"Oh, and you haven't met Y/N yet, have you? Y/N, this is Marnie. Marnie, this is Y/N. Victor sweetly said.  
Marnie recognised the name, she recognised your face, but when she saw your desperate eyes, she knew to keep quiet.

"Nice to meet you Y/N!" Marnie said quietly. "So, are you two going to challenge Kabu tomorrow?" She turned her attention to the two boys.

"Yep! I was thinking of challenging him today, but after A/N lost to him. I think I'm going to wait. If A/N couldn't defeat him, I don't even want to attempt him how I am now." Hop rambled, unknowingly making you feel so much worse. 

Marnie picked up on this, and attempted to salvage the situation. "Well, you shouldn't focus on other challengers, focus on you. At least, that's what my bro tells me." Just as she stopped talking, a loud, horn-like, sound rang through the air and all four of you turned to see what the ruckus was.

Around six or seven people, dressed in neon pink and black uniforms, were standing in the middle of the street. A few of them appeared to be holding some kind of horn, and were causing quite the disturbance. The others held banners of... Marnie? This couldn't be good. 

Marnie looked concerned, as the group began yelling, something about Marnie being great? Victor was visibly annoyed, and Hop also looked mildly angry. 

"Team yell" Victor hissed. There was obviously a bit of history there, but this wasn't the time to pry. Both Victor and Hop readied their pokeballs, ready to fight at a moments notice. Both of them cautiously approached the group, you and Marnie followed cautiously.

"Marnie, Marnie, she's our gal, if she can't do it, no one can" the team chanted, blowing into the horns and causing any bystanders to promptly leave.

"Hey, some of us are trying to come this way, mate" Hop said. 

A few of the group began yelling at the two, but you couldn't make out much of it, your head was completely shutting down. You hadn't expected to be in any loud areas, and without your mask it was unbearable, especially when it was directed at you.

You shakily followed the two boys, coming face to face with a large man dressed in the same uniform as the rest of the group.

"Oi! Team yell doesn't take orders from anyone! And we ain't fond of people wearing challenger bands either." The man yelled, directly at the three of you, your head was spinning, and your vision was getting blurry. This wasn't good

Hop and Victor retorted with something about beating them in a Pokemon battle, but you couldn't make out anything. Everything was a blur.

You heard Pokemon being sent out, the continued blaring of horns, and your head continued to spin. Another one of the group turned to you. 

"Oi! Clear off will ya? We won't let anyone get in the way of Marnie becoming the champion!" The man yelled, straight into your face.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I won't bother you again, I swear" you pleaded, just wanting to be back in the safety of your home again. Painful memories seemed like child's play to you now. Tears rolled down your face and you tried to compose yourself, but it was useless. All you could do was apologise and hope that everything stopped soon.

He continued to yell. And you completely shut down, pleading through tears for everything to stop, but it didn't.

"Hey! Cut it out! She isn't a challenger" Marnie suddenly called out, causing the man to quieten down. He noticed the tears in your eyes and how you were still begging for the noise to stop. He cautiously backed away, Marnie glaring at him the entire time.

The battle between the grunts and the challengers wrapped up, the grunts unsurprisingly losing. They complained, but quietened down significantly. Marnie walked over to get the rest of the team to leave, and as she did, you felt the whole world go black. 

The world spun and last thing you saw before you blacked out was Hop concernedly yelling your name and running towards you.

\-----------------

You woke up on the hard concrete. A few faces surrounding you, and blurred voices.

"Is she gonna be okay?" 

"Hopefully, she hit the ground pretty hard."

"I'm furious with team yell, they're going to get a piece of my mind later"

"Should we call an ambulance?"

"Maybe.... wait! She's waking up"

"Y/N!"

You slowly opened your eyes and sat up, trying to absorb your surroundings.

"You alright?" Marnie asked. 

"Mmmffff.... what happened?" You asked.

"Well" Hop began, "first these absolute tossers called team yell started causing a ruckus, me and Victor beat them in a battle and they left, then we saw you collapse on the ground" 

"I gathered that much, who were those people? And what did they want?" You questioned.

"Team yell are a group of my fans, they.... follow me around and harass the other challengers. They don't like the idea of me losing so they try to destroy all the competition." She explained. "I'm not going to forgive them for yelling at you like that though. You didn't even have a challenger band."

You laughed slightly. Today sure was wild. 

"I'm.... going to go home now." You said slowly. Getting to your feet and examining the state of your clothes. They were covered in dirt, but there wasn't much you could do about it right now.

"That's understandable" Victor said. "I'll call a flying taxi, if you need us, just give us a call"

"I'm going to go with Y/N. I still want to talk to her for a bit" Marnie quietly said, getting her bag straightened and helping you to stand straight. 

"Okay, me and Victor will keep training. See you tomorrow Y/N!" Hop waved as the two walked away.

\---------------

Marnie guided you out the taxi gently, making sure not to touch any sore parts from your fall. As you walked up to your house, Marnie struck up a conversation.  
"Oh, I know you lied earlier. I know you aren't okay from the loss earlier." She said casually.

"How? How could you tell?" You asked.

"Well, you don't seem like the type to take your first loss well, and after today, I know it for certain. You were really out of it" she explained.

"So you're good at spotting lies, huh?" 

"Pretty much." She giggled slightly. "If you need to talk, I'm here. I also have something for you, I don't know if you want it or not." She pulled a small box from her bag and pressed it into your hands.

You gently opened the box, expecting something small like a bracelet or a necklace. What you saw shocked you.

A moon stone.

"I don't know if you have any Pokemon that evolve with a moon stone, but I thought you might want it anyways." She said, slightly bashfully.

"Thanks" you told her gently. "This will help for sure" 

She nodded, looking at the house the two of you had stopped in front of. 

"I'm assuming this is your house?" She asked

"Yep! I'll see you later then?"

"Of course. Can't wait to see you challenge Kabu again. So don't give up okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it" you said as you walked through your front door, feeling a lot more conflicted than before.


	19. No holding back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went on break for a lil while there, I am back now! And there will be consistent updates! I promise! I already have half of the next chapter written, so :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I realised that I have been spelling Mudsdale wrong this whole time, I really don't want to go back and correct it but at the same time it's annoying me.

Chapter 19  
No holding back.

You stood in the living room, moon stone in your hands. It was alluring, glistening in the harsh lights from overhead. Skitty sat on the carpet in front of you, curiously looking at the stone in your hands.

"Is this really what you want?"

Your eyes trailed up to skitty, who was still sitting, motionless on the carpet. You knew she knew what it was, and she knew what was going to happen.

This was different from Thwackey. Thwackey was new, and would inevitably evolve, so it hadn't come as much of a shock to you. Skitty was different. Skitty would never evolve unless you made the choice to make her. Same with growlithe. Until that day with Leon, you were fully content with the idea of Skitty and growlithe staying the same forever. You weren't going to be battling, there was no need to evolve them. 

That was different now. Everything was different now. In order to win, you would have to evolve them eventually. It should be a good thing, but why was it so conflicting?

You knelt down, allowing Skitty to pad her way over to you, wrapping your free arm around her, feeling the familiar fur against your arm. However you kept the moon stone out of reach. You needed a few moments. Just a few moments to remember how she was. To remember everything about her. Her fluffy pink fur, her cute tail and little fangs. In just a few moments, everything would be different. 

After pulling your arm off of Skitty, you looked her in the eyes.

"You ready?" 

She gently meowed in response.

You sighed, and placed the moon stone on the floor in front of her. She leaned her head down and pressed her nose against it. Causing the stone to glow a radiant white. You turned away as not to be blinded.

Even through your closed eyelids, you could still see the bright light. It was just like with Thwackey, although made worse by the lack of sunglasses. You didn't have the guts to open your eyes again. Even when the light faded and the world went pitch black again. You couldn't even open your eyes when you head an unfamiliar meow behind you.

You were forced to open your eyes when you felt fur rub against your hips. Wait, Hips? Skitty wasn't that big?

You opened your eyes to see a large, cat-like figure in front of you. She was much larger, head coming up to your stomach and ears reaching up a bit higher. She had purple around her neck, almost like a neck pillow. Her tail was longer with purple instead of pink at the top, most noticeably of all, her eyes were wide open, gazing back at you from below her purple ears.

Your rotom phone flew around the new Pokemon, analysing it before displaying the information to you.

"Delcatty"

Delcatty meowed at you, much deeper than before and a lot louder as well. It sounded stronger, more confident. As though she wasn't afraid of anything.

Her new form was stunning. You stood there in shock for a few moments, allowing yourself to process it. Before a grin crept across your face. She continued to rub against you in a friendly manner, shedding a few purple hairs onto your jeans.

A few ideas popped into your head. Ways to negate any suspicion of you being A/N. In only a few seconds, you had come up with a plan, and you were ready to put it into action at once.

There was no messing around.

You were going to beat Kabu.

\-------------

It had only been a few hours since Delcatty evolved, but you couldn't wait. A mixture of determination and anger pounded through you. You looked up at the huge stadium in front of you, and knew you were ready.

The past few hours had been spent covering your tracks. The first thing you did was send both Victor and Hop an old photo of grookey, before she evolved, and told them it was taken this morning. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

Then it was time to start with the cover-up stories.

You spent ages typing out completely made up stories of what you did on various days. None of it was true, but it seemed to fool the people you sent them to.

Lastly there was the biggest task of all, disguising Pokemon. It was tedious, sure, but it was better not to risk it. Hop and Leon already came too close to figuring out. Way too close. The mere thought of all the effort you put in to hide yourself being stripped away because of one careless mistake made your heart pound, and not in a good way.

When you stepped back to admire your work, a smirk spread across your face. You were satisfied with your work, and you were determined to win.

Now you were here, and you were more ready than you would ever be.

Getting changed seemed to go by in a flash. You were too excited, the anticipation building in your veins. The same smirk displayed under your mask. 

You weren't playing games anymore. Now it was serious.

You felt the heat wash over you as you stepped into the pitch, however none of the anxiety followed. You were too focused, it felt as though nothing but the battlefield mattered.

Kabu didn't say a word to you as the two of you took your places at the opposite sides of the pitch. Determination sparkling in your eyes.

When he sent out his Ninetales, you were prepared, sending out Delcatty immediately. The audience grew slightly louder than anticipated, curious at your new Pokemon.

Kabu didn't have a chance to react as you called out your first attack.

"Play rough"

It hit, and you realised you may be a tad over-experienced for this gym, as Delcatty looked to be around level 50. 

Oh well, you promised not to hold back.

As Kabu was recalling his Pokemon, you noticed a small bit of shock on his face that he was doing his best to hide it. He sent out his second Pokemon, the one that was your downfall previously. Although now, you didn't bat an eye.

His Arcanine sprang forward, majestic and ready to fight you once again, however you didn't feel the same rush of fear that you did during the first battle. Something had changed. It could have been your anger, your determination, or something else entirely.....

An additional play rough almost knocked out the Arcanine, but it was able to hit an attack on Delcatty, although the damage was pitiful.

You didn't even need to call out an additional attack, it was almost funny how easily the Arcanine went down. This really wasn't fair, but better safe than sorry. Kabu wouldn't take the loss as bad as you would.

As kabu reached for his final Pokemon, you recalled your Delcatty, deciding that even though you could win with her, you wanted to show off. It was cruel, like rubbing salt in a wound, but you didn't care now. You needed to win.

You sent out a Pokemon the audience hadn't seen from you before.

Lapras.

The last Pokemon went down as expected. Lapras knowing hydro pump completely massacred any chance of Kabu winning, even as he Dynamaxed, it was obvious to both him and the audience that he had lost.

\-----------

The crowd cheered as you recalled Lapras, allowing the victory to wash over you. You didn't even care about the screams of the audience, or how Kabu had fallen to his knees and was looking at the sky with a mixture of disappointment and relief.

When he pulled himself up, he walked towards you with his normal serious expression, although it felt.... softer somehow. Less threatening. Although that could have been from the anger that was still coursing through you.

"You really do have potential. I'm glad I was able to convince you to use other Pokemon. I can tell you'll go far, kid. So don't give up!" He told you as he shook your hand. You simply nodded.

"I don't plan on giving up" you half-growled.

The walk back to the changing room was short, too short. The release of victory, it was addictive. You felt so high, so happy, but so angry at the same time. You really didn't give him a chance, huh? You couldn't even raise your partner's yourself, most of Lapras and Delcatty's levels came from your mother. Of course you let everyone else do the work for you.

Why was this so bittersweet?

At least you had a new goal now. A new destination. It also gave you an excuse to go to the wild area. To be able to calm yourself. To not have the painful reminder of your home life. And to feel peaceful. That was something you were looking forward to.

You sighed and made your way to the wild area, ready to cool down for a while.

\-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When writing this chapter I realised how overpowered A/N is, it's starting to sound like a "ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL" so I'm going to try make some changes in order to fix that. Anyways, new chapter probs tomorrow or the day after. Love y'all


	20. Stronger than I'll ever be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter planned for a while, writing it felt amazing. So same deal, new chapter probably tomorrow. Also I think I'm going to use the sword gym leaders because I have a good idea of what Y/N's last Pokemon will be. Although I am a little on the fence about it because I think interactions with Alister have potential. Just depends on what I decide in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, yeah. Enjoy I guess! <3

Chapter 20  
Stronger than I'll ever be

Your heart was still pounding, admittedly not as loudly as before, yet it was still unfavourable. The bitter feeling in your chest wouldn't go away, no matter how much you played with your Pokemon, or how much curry you ate. There was still anger that you couldn't dislodge, even though you knew your thoughts were irrational.

The pressures of having a double life was finally getting to you. You knew that you'd have to give up one identity eventually, although you wanted to prolong it as much as possible, because given the choice, you knew that Y/N would be the one to go. The rush of being A/N was too addictive, to tempting to put away.

Although the gym challenge would end eventually.

Eventually you would have to abandon A/N forever, the challenge was only a few weeks long, and when that was over....... you'd have to say goodbye to this feeling. The happiness and the rush you felt on the battlefield. You'd have to give up everything.

You groaned, why did this have to be so bittersweet? 

The cries of your Mudsdale broke you out of your daydream, he was visibly tired, and you knew it was time to go home, not that there was anywhere else to go. 

As you took down the tent, you overheard a conversation in the distance. Two familiar voices. and it didn't seem to be a positive interaction.

"See! You're just as weak as I thought you were."

"...."

You gently padded over to the source of the noise, allowing yourself to stay a few paces back from the situation.  
"You talk a lot for someone of your strength, what would your big brother think?"

"Oi! Leave Lee out of this!"

"What would the public think? Finding out that the little brother of THE galar champion can't even beat a measly trainer? That the one Leon had so much faith in was a failure?"

"Shut it, Leon has nothing to do with this!"

You crept closer, seeing Hop and another familiar figure positioned a few meters away from each other, the scorched grass around them made you presume they had fought. Hop's tone of voice further confirmed that. 

The other figure was someone you had met before, someone who taunted you for hiding.

Bede.

Just seeing him was enough to make your blood boil, the anger you had been repressing threatening to surface. You tried to push it down and stayed out of sight.

"I don't have time for this, I'm not going to waste my time talking to someone that tarnishes the good name of our champion. I've already proved that I'm stronger"

That one comment was enough to tip you over the edge, you stomped towards the two, Bede turned to you with a look of disgust.

"Oh, it's you."

He smirked and put his hands in his pockets, turning his head up to look down on you. 

"Guess you really were just all talk huh? Couldn't even beat Kabu? I don't get what all the fuss about you is for. Just because you wear a mask?"

"Shut up. This isn't about me." You growled like an angry Arcanine.

"Oh, has the brave A/N come to rescue Hop?" He mocked "You two really are alike, all talk, no skill"

"You think you're stronger than Hop?" You questioned, the gravely tone still in your voice.

He laughed, "I was able to defeat him in a battle, and for someone who brags about their strength, he's hilariously easy to beat"

"You're even dumber than you look then." You snarled, Bede smirked at your remark.

"You talk a lot for someone who doesn't even have the guts to show their face. You're just as weak as he is, hiding behind that mask like a coward. The two of you shouldn't even be allowed to do the gym challenge."

You felt anger boiling inside you. At this rate you would explode. You needed to breathe.

Breathe in, breathe out.

"If you think Hop is strong, no wonder you lost to Ka-" he didn't have a chance to finish his sentence.

Your hand reached out on its own and punched him, hard. You were seething with anger, you were surprised you didn't do anything worse. You wanted to, but you knew you would get in a lot of trouble, even more than you were already in.

Bede fell to the ground, blood trickling from his lips, he wiped it away with his hand and inspected his bloody fingers.

"Don't. Ever. Call. Him. Weak." You hissed through clenched teeth. You were trembling with anger, and it took all of your willpower to not hit him again.

How could he sit and taunt Hop like that? Hop was strong. Much stronger than you. He could go out and say what he wanted, with no regard for what anyone else thought. He never cared what anyone said. He didn't care how impossible his dreams seemed to be. He was always optimistic, always believed in everyone, even someone as pitiful as you. He was everything you wanted to be, how could Bede sit there and call him weak?

"He's stronger than you'll ever be. He doesn't taunt people when they lose, and he doesn't think he's better than people because of who endorsed him. Unlike you." You stated, on the verge of yelling.

"You won't understand. You're too focused on others that you don't realise how weak you are yourself." You yelled, letting go of any thoughts that told you to stay calm.

You took a deep breath to compose yourself 

"If you figure that out, come challenge me." You sighed, grabbing Hop's arm and leading him away, leaving Bede sitting stunned on the scorched ground.

"..."

The two of you walked in silence for a while, allowing your brain to process what you did. The more you walked, the more you regretted what you did. Maybe punching Bede wasn't the BEST idea, but at least you got your anger out.

"Why did you do that?" asked Hop after a while.

"It wasn't right" you bluntly remarked.

"But he was right.... I'm weak, and people are going to think Lee's weak because his little brother's rubbish."

"Shut up!" You exclaimed, sharply turning towards Hop, who recoiled slightly.

"I can't listen to you talk about yourself like that! You're strong, stronger than I'll ever be. And...... you don't realise how much I admire you" your voice began to break, tears welling in your eyes for the millionth time this week.

"A/N?"

"Please, stay strong. You don't understand how strong you really are. So please don't let that stupid Bede get you down, okay?" You whispered to him.

He looked at you, shock present in his features. There was stunned silence for a while, until he slowly nodded.

"O-okay! I won't give up!" He said.

"Good." You whispered, half to Hop and half to yourself. "I'm going home, I'll see you..... whenever I see you." You said, attempting to walk away.

"Wait!" Hop called after you.

You turned to him, wondering what he had to say.

"You got the fire badge, are you not going to spend the night in Hammerlocke? It's tradition for challengers?" He asked "I can show you around the city if you want?" 

You sighed, might as well. 

"Sure, lead the way" you said with as much enthusiasm as you could.

"Great! I'll race you!" Hop laughed, before running off towards the bridge, you cursed under your breath at his head start before following him, letting yourself laugh as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had the same three lofi mixes on loop in the background for every chapter of this that I've written. I have the songs engraved into my memory, maybe it's time to get a new playlist.....


	21. Abandon who you were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I've come up with a compromise to include both the shield and sword gym leaders. So the next chapter will be focused on the 4th gym. Also, in my head when I was planning out the story, I had 3 acts planned out. This chapter is the end of act 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anywayyys, I had another chapter written but scrapped it because I realised how much I didn't like it. I might include it anyways as a *bonus* but it wouldn't be cannon. Anyways, do y'all want longer chapters? If so I can do an update every 2 days? Or if y'all are ok with this length I'll keep it as daily updates. Let me know xx

Chapter 21  
Abandon Who You Were

Hammerlocke looked even bigger in person, you had seen it multiple times on TV broadcasts, the news, photos, etc, but just standing, looking up at the stadium made your heart pound like crazy. Hop ran ahead, as you struggled to keep up. It reminded you of old times, when the two of you would race everywhere, you rarely ever beat Hop, although that was because Hop always seemed to be full of energy, while you were quite the opposite.

Hop stopped in front of the Pokemon centre, as you panted, struggling to catch your breath. 

"This is Hammerlocke! Ever been here before?" Asked Hop with a smile, you shook your head in response.

"That's fine! I've been here plenty of times, so I'll show you around." He grabbed your wrist and began leading you down the stone road, slowly enough to allow you to have a look at the buildings, he provided you with consistent narration.

"So that one is the battle cafe, and that's the clothing shop, it's got tons of really fancy clothes, although they're a bit expensive. Oh! There's the repair shop, and past that is the berry seller." He continued to ramble on as you walked down the streets. You only nodded in response most of the time, although Hop seemed to be satisfied with it.

Eventually the road took a turn, and there was another Pokemon centre?

"There's loads of Pokemon centres here..." you said quietly.

"I know right! Hammerlocke is a huge city, so there has to be a bunch of Pokemon centres. Also it's really easy to get lost here, according to Lee anyways. Although maybe that's because he gets lost really easily." He chuckled to himself. Continuing to drag you down the road.

"What's this building." You asked, Hop had stopped in front of a large building with industrial-looking doors. The bricks looked old, older than the rest of the buildings around it, and it had an overall historical look.

"This is Hammerlocke Vault" a new voice said from right behind you, you almost jumped out of your skin and turned around to face the source of the sound. 

You saw a tall man with a familiar dragon hoodie and orange bandana, he was also grinning widely, a phone in his right hand.

Raihan.

"Ah, sorry for scaring you." He continued to grin as he looked you up and down. Taking note of the dynamax band around your wrist. 

Next to you, Hop was visibly ecstatic.

"Raihan! Arceus I've not seen you in ages!" He exclaimed, the dragon gamer in front of you turned to him.

"Hey, it's Leon's little bro! How've you been, Hop?" Raihan asked the enthusiastic trainer in front of him.

"I'm great! I beat Kabu and now I'm gonna win my way through the rest of the gym leaders! Including you!" He smiled, he was very excited, more so than usual. Which was saying a lot as Hop was the type of person to get excited easily.

"I look forward to the day I battle you. You've already proven your strength against Kabu. So win your way towards me okay?" Raihan smirked, before turning to you.

"You're A/N, right? There's been a lot of talk about you." Raihan mused, looking at his phone.

"Ah, yeah. A/N" you stuttered, trying not to make eye contact. It wasn't hard because of how tall he was. 

"You certainly made an impression! There's a bunch of theories floating around about who you really are. I must say....." he edged closer to you, almost uncomfortably close. "That Lapras is certainly something. Did you raise it yourself?" He asked.

"I- uh....." you trailed off. You felt something in the pit of your stomach. It felt like dread. Thick and heavy. He knew something. Something you didn't want him to know.

"N-no. Lapras was a gift." You finally said. You could try and lie, but you didn't want to get caught out and cause unnecessary suspicion. You tried to shake the feeling of dread. He didn't know. How could he?

"Hmmm. Your Lapras looks.... familiar...." he said quietly. You didn't like the tone of his voices it was quiet, mocking, as if he knew something you didn't. It made you nervous. You begged that he didn't know, although it was very likely he did.

"Hahaha...... guess my Lapras just looks kinda common huh?" You nervously laughed, Hop looked at you questioningly. 

"Guess so." Raihan said carelessly, before turning back to Hop. "Hey, Hop, do you know where your big bro is? I need to discuss something with him, about...... our next match." 

"Huh?" Hop said, utterly clueless to Raihan's tone and your panicking. "I think he's with Sonia today. He should be in Wedgehurst" 

"Great! I'll meet him there." Raihan's tone completely changed to a more happy, carefree one. It didn't send chills down your spine, so that was good. "Anyways, next mission is to beat the gym in stow-on-side. Next section of the challenge starts on Friday. I'll see you two around" Raihan waved to the two of you and walked off, leaving you and Hop in slightly stunned silence.

"O-On second thought! I'm going to go straight to my hotel room! I'm feeling really tired" you stammered, feeling slightly nauseous. It was the same feeling you had when you encountered Marnie. You were ready to just wrap it up for today, just collapse on a bed and avoid Raihan until you had no other choice. 

"Sure! The inn is just over there, I can walk you there if you want!" Hop asked.

"Nope! I'm fine" you lied. "I'll just walk there myself, see you around, Hop!" You smiled, before dashing down the streets, straight to the Inn near the centre of the city, upon renting a room, you collapsed onto the bed with wide eyes.

Did he know? Of course he did. How though, he has never met Y/N? But then why did he act like that? He knows something, but you didn't know how. 

You flopped back on the bed with a huge sigh, it was softer than you expected, you sunk into it easily. Raihan kept mentioning Lapras.... did that have something to do with it.  
"Why would he recognise Lapras?" You thought.

It only took a few minutes for realisation to hit.

Your mother. 

You brought your hands to your face, feeling stupid for not realising sooner. Of course he would recognise Lapras. He fought against her. It meant your identity was busted. It would only take one question to find your true identity. All he has to do was ask if your mum had any children, or anyone she would give her Pokemon to. It was useless trying to cover it up now. Raihan would easily figure it out. 

That's two people who know now. You really were bad at everything, even keeping secrets. 

This was bad, really bad. Raihan didn't strike you as the type to hold his tongue, considering everything he found out or knew about was posted to his social media within a few minutes. There really wasn't anything you could do. Even after going through all this effort to cover up your tracks, it was useless.

Why did you use Lapras? You shouldn't have taken that risk. 

Too many people knew. At this rate, you would be fully exposed to the entire region within no time. You couldn't risk that.

Why don't you abandon A/N completely?

That one thought was enough to jolt you upwards, your breathing quickened, and you realised how dependent you had become on the anonymity. Abandon the gym challenge completely? Throw the mask away and act like A/N never existed? It was the safest option, but you couldn't..... even if you tried, you knew you would cave at some point.

Also, strangely, you didn't want to stop the gym challenge. You were...... enjoying it? That was something you never thought you'd admit, but you were. It was FUN, being A/N felt like you had no problems, you could do anything without the judging eyes of the public. After all, they were thinking of A/N, not you.

What if you did the opposite?

Abandon Y/N?

......

It was tempting, there wasn't as many downsides. Y/N was boring, pathetic, everything you hated about yourself. Who would even care if Y/N went missing? Hop? No, he wouldn't care, he's to focused on his gym challenge. Victor? Same deal. Leon? Why would he care that some random girl he endorsed went missing. Your mum? .......

You bit your lip gently. It certainly sounded perfect in theory, but so did creating A/N, and that had a lot of unpredicted downsides.

What did you even have to lose at this point?

After a long, long silence, you found your answer.

Y/N would disappear.

No one would mind, or care too much, and you would probably be able to convince Raihan not to say anything. Even if he did, what would happen? No one could confront you if no one could find you. It seemed perfect.

So with a smile, you got to work on erasing Y/N.

Admittedly, it wasn't much. All you had to do was delete your social media accounts, and take a quick trip back to your house. Possibly the last trip home you would ever take. You grabbed everything you would need. Potions, food, money, etc.

When you were done, you didn't even bother to lock the door behind you. All you did was jump back into the taxi and abandon Postwick for good.

No more double life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah! The little break really helped with writers block. I am *flowing* with spirit and I'm really enjoying writing. So consistent updates. Although next update probably in 2 days bcuz I want to try write a longer chapter since it's the start of a new act.
> 
> Criticism, Kudos or comments are very much appreciated!


	22. Day one of hiding.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right, this is SUPER late and SUPER short. But I can explain. I've been absolutely SWAMPED with schoolwork, along with having secondary language classes outside of school hours. Those take 2-3 hours per day. So I don't have much time to write this Fic. I'm still going to try my best to make the updates consistent though!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ik, it's a lot shorter than promised. New chapter within 2 days (fr this time) if not, I'll post an update by editing these notes

Day one of hiding   
Chapter 22

The fourth gym huh?

You had received various messages throughout the day, although that was par for the course when it came to Hop. There was nothing out of the ordinary about them, no one seemed to have noticed that you had vanished. A slight frown tugged at your features. Did they really not care?

There wasn't time to think about that, you had to focus on the fourth gym. You had already lost a battle once, and you couldn't afford for it to happen again. The loss felt so crushing the first time, if it happened again...... you preferred not to think about that.

Quickly checking your rotom phone, you realised you were almost at Stow-On-Side, the journey seemed to go by extremely fast. Even for your standards.

This year the gym was managed by Allister, since the gym was shared between the two gym leaders, the one the challengers faced rotated yearly, same with the gym in Circhester, who was managed by Gordie this year. You felt slightly comforted at the fact you wouldn't have to face Bea's intense battle style. Allister seemed to be.... calmer? 

You also felt more comfortable that there was someone in the same boat as you. Someone who couldn't show their face. Maybe the two of you could get to know each other? Eh, just a rouge thought.

You gently bit your bottom lip as you entered the town, it was small, and you immediately noticed how quiet and dry it was. Just taking a few steps into the town you already felt as though you needed a drink of water. Although the quietness was nice, especially after being in Hammerlocke for so long. 

The symbol on the front of the gym was displaying the ghost type symbol, it also rotated along with the leaders. You assumed it was so that people could tell at a glance which leader the challengers would be facing without having to go digging. 

You gently patted the five pokeballs resting on your belt. Only five. Previously you had been opposed to the idea of an additional Pokemon, but now..... maybe a new partner would be fun.

No matter, you had enough to win this battle. 

You decided that it would be best for Thwackey and growlithe to get stronger, and save Delcatty for emergencies. Delcatty has feint attack, which could easily end the battle if things went wrong. It would be a lot more challenging this way, and a lot more fun.

Just as you were about to walk into the gym, you heard a voice behind you.

"Hey! A/N!" 

Arceus.

You turned around to see a familiar tall man with a dragon hoodie. He had a much wider grin on his face than last time, and he overall seemed a lot more calm.

This couldn't be good.

"Just heard you were at Stow-On-Side so decided to drop by. You challenging Allister?" He asked carelessly. You nodded tensely, what did he want?

"Great! I'll watch your battle for sure!" He grinned, you really just wanted to get the battle over with, and him stalling you was not helping your rapidly dwindling patience.

"Ok, why are you really here?" You asked quietly. Raihan stopped short, his grin shifting to a slightly more sinister one, you didn't like it.

"Oh, just came ask you, do you know a girl called Y/N?" 

Brilliant, just what you wanted to talk about right now.

"I... am good friends with her" you slowly responded, choosing your words carefully. Raihan smiled more.

"Thought so. So, tell me." Raihan began, pulling you closer to him, your breathing hitched in your throat. "Did she give you her Lapras?"

"Mhm" you replied, unable to open your mouth due to your rapid breathing and panic you attempted to repress.

"Ahhh, thought I recognised the Lapras from your fight against Kabu. Did she have any reason for giving away her best Pokemon" he continued to press. Your anxiety and anger were both raising, mostly the former. Although you pushed it down quickly.

"That's a private matter" you responded in a matter-of-fact tone. "We have history, she wouldn't give her best partner to just anyone" 

"Ah, didn't mean to pry." Raihan reassured, backing off slightly. "Just thought it was interesting, anyways, I'll get back to my business, wouldn't want to delay your battle any further huh?" He teased.

"Sure..." you murmured.

"Alright, see you!" He waved.

You let out a huge sigh when he dipped out of sight. At least he was off the trail now. Hopefully he wasn't TOO perceptive, or else he'd easily be able to tell you were lying. 

You had to stop focusing on this stuff, you had a battle to win.

With a hopeful intake of breath, you walked through the huge doors, immediately coming face-to-face with a certain gym leader, well, more like mask-to-mask.

"Allister?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm going to give A/N her last Pokemon around Opal or Gordie's gym. She feels WAYYY too OP to me and giving her another Pokemon would just make it worse. So I'm holding off on that plot line and focusing more on character relations. Love y'all xxxxxx


	23. Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's technically still the 22nd, so I kept my promise, although I better write these notes quick cuz I've only got 7 minutes. Anyways, enjoy this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically am still really busy, although I've been procrastinating a lot so that's how I had time to write this fic. Aaaaanyways, hop you enjoy!

Chapter 22  
Ghost

The two of you were very close, uncomfortably close. You immediately took a step back as Allister did the same.

"O-oh. 'M sorry miss" he stuttered quietly.

"Ah, it's alright, you're Alister right?" You asked

"Y-yeah. Did you want to challenge me?" He whispered loudly 

"Yep, I was going to challenge you right now? Unless you're on a break?" 

"Oh, 'm sorry, you can challenge me now, I'll just get ready"

"Ace! I'll see you on the pitch" you said as you waved, he quickly disappeared onto the changing rooms.

Well, that was strange.

Despite how short the interaction was, it gave you a small bit of motivation, similar to the one you had with Milo. The uncertainty of completely abandoning your previous life, it was definitely a lot to handle, but nothing a battle couldn't take care of, right?

Just then, your phone went off.

You quickly checked it, and saw that it was Hop who messaged you. You were tempted not to open it, there was no point. Y/N was gone. You shouldn't open any messages that were meant for Y/N.

Although how could you not open it? It was like Pandora's box.

As you were changing, you couldn't resist taking a sneak peek at the message. 

There was now an additional message.

Your eyes quickly skimmed over the messages.

"Hey, you okay? I've not seen you much since I started the gym challenge?"

"You want me to come over?"

Reading the messages was a big mistake, you already felt tears welling in your eyes. Guilt overwhelmed you. Why did you ever doubt that Hop cared about you? But then why did it sound like such a good idea at the time.

You had really abandoned everything, with no regard for the consequences of your actions.

As awful as you felt, there was no time to sit around and cry, you had to get on the pitch within a few minutes, the audience was waiting.

You quickly sniffed, trying to stop the tears falling, although it would be hidden by your mask, so it wouldn't make much of a difference. The audience wouldn't care, they just wanted to see your battle.

Welp, time to do the challenge.

Everything was a complete blur. Spinning around in a teacup while guilt ate away at you, constantly damp cheeks that wouldn't dry no matter how fast you spun. Things were bad, even the fights against the other gym trainers were an ordeal, your Pokemon reflected the pain you felt, hitting harder than ever before but getting hurt from their brutality. It was painful to watch. You only hoped the audience would be none the wiser.

Well. Guess you had no choice.

As the last battle wrapped up, you prepared to ascend the stairs towards the pitch, where Allister was waiting. Thwackey was injured during the previous battles, not from the foe's attacks, but from her own force. Her own anger that was reminiscent of your own.

"Just get through this battle" you thought.

Opening the stadium doors, a chill went down your spine, amplified by the guilt you already felt. It was crushing, claustrophobic, terrifying. The young boy opposite you also seemed to be nervous, although to a much smaller degree.

"H-here I go" he stammered quietly. You simply nodded, not allowing your emotions to interfere.

You tried to convince yourself that was the case, yet as you sent out Thwackey your head felt as though it was clouded with fog, thick and heavy. You couldn't think clearly, the battle had already started, the cheering had already started, but you didn't feel any of the joy you normally would.

Who knew Hop could have such an affect on you?

Leading with Thwackey, the battle got off to a good start. Although with each passing second, it became harder and harder to focus.

"Just breathe" you told yourself.

The stream of negativity that had been silent for days finally came back. You were stupid for thinking getting rid of Y/N would also get rid of it.

"You don't deserve to be here"  
"You're just going to disappoint them all"  
"You made Hop worry about such a pathetic person."

Oh Arceus, things weren't looking good. You blindly called out an attack, hoping that it landed. Not even bothering to focus on the foe in front of you, you just needed to focus on the foe trapped in your mind.

You had to calm down, at this rate you would collapse.

Well, at least Allister's first Pokemon was down. Somehow in the commotion Thwackey was able to defeat the Pokemon, with minimal input from you.

Okay, one down. Three to go.

Even with this knowledge, it was impossible to focus. Everything was a blur. All you could do was call out random attacks and pray that it would be over soon.

Through your haze, you saw that Thwackey was injured, mostly from damage she did to herself. The anger in her was present, as if you would suddenly feel okay if she lashed out against everything. Sadly, you only felt worse, as Thwackey safety added to your long list of worries.

"She's not going to win"  
"You're an awful trainer"  
"Just give up already"

Seeing she was nearing her limit, you reluctantly recalled her and sent out growlithe, who was more than happy to give everything he had. 

The next few Pokemon were a blur, all you remember was screaming, lots of it, and an immense thumping in your head.

After what seemed like no time at all, Allister sent out his last Pokemon, his Gengar. Terrifyingly strong and ready to Gigantamax at any moment.  
Growlithe wouldn't make it through this, you had no choice but to switch in Delcatty, no matter how much your sense of pride was bruised, or how unfair the battle would be.

Reluctantly, you recalled growlithe and allowed Delcatty onto the field, just as Allister Gigantamaxed.

\-------------

The air after a battle, tense yet calm. Happy yet sad. So bittersweet.

The two masked individuals approached each other, ready to shake hands and go home. Although what Allister didn't realise, was how awful the victor felt, and how wet her cheeks were.

\-------------

Battling always made you feel so high, so why were you so low? Living a quiet and reserved life had made you forget how your actions had consequences, but now, you had thrown yourself straight into the deep end, no warning or hesitation. You felt as though you were drowning, and you couldn't ask anyone for help.

Or maybe there was someone?

You pulled out your phone and ignored the additional texts from Hop, instead typing a quick message to someone you had never messaged before. Although maybe she could help you find some peace of mind? Could she help you?

You quickly pressed send, and a few miles away, Marnie's phone lit up with the new message from you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what to put here except "new chapter in 2 days". And thanks for reading homies. Seriously, y'all are the best. Xxxx


	24. Trip to Spikemuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I miiiiight be straying from the original story a teeeensy bit. But in my defence, it's more interesting this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, late update again. My workload sure ain't getting any lighter, so I'll do the best I can to update consistently.
> 
> Also thank you to all who gave me kudos or just read this fic over the past few days. Y'all are the best!!!!! <3

Chapter 24  
Trip to Spikemuth 

"Y/N? I went over to your house and you're not home?"

"What's going on? Why is your door unlocked"

You quickly swiped the messages away, not bothering to type out a reply. You had to keep reminding yourself that Y/N was gone. That you couldn't reply to any messages meant for her.

"How are you holding up" The girl next to you asked. You quickly turned your head over to look at her, seeing the grey storm-like clouds outside the taxi window.

"Fine." You lied, the messages from Hop still replaying in your head.

"You sure? You don't look it." Marnie bluntly stated.

"Yep, I'm sure!" You continued to lie.

"Hmmmm." She mused, unconvinced, before turning to look out the window to see where the taxi was. "We're almost here, Spikemuth isn't too far" 

Even though you weren't technically allowed in Spikemuth yet, Marnie had been adamant that no one would mind, that this case was an exception, since you weren't challenging Piers yet.

"Only about 10 minutes I reckon." She muttered quietly "I'm sure my big bro won't mind, once I explain anyways."

You nervously laughed, hopefully things didn't go too badly.

\------

The young boy looked at his phone, hoping for a response from you, yet nothing came. Even though it said the messages were read. He flopped back on his bed, allowing a sigh to escape his lips.

"I'm worried about you" he whispered into nothingness. 

You wouldn't ignore him, right? You had never ignored him before. Even when he went on long rants about his big brother, or rambled on about a subject you didn't understand, you never ignored him, so why now?

Why would she not be home, and why would her door be unlocked? Why would she not say anything to him? Did he upset her somehow.

Hop immediately regretted not talking to you as often as before the gym challenge. He regretted that he didn't notice anything was up because of his own excitement. You couldn't even do the challenge, you must have felt awful.

Hop groaned and rolled over, He'd wait as long as it took for a response.

\---------

"We're here!" Marnie said, you quickly looked out the window, seeing the taxi descend in front of a huge, shut, gate.

Spikemuth certainly looked..... unique, well, you couldn't even see it for the huge gate in the way.

"Umm, Marnie" you began, Marnie turned her head towards you. "How are we going to get in?" She looked at the shut gate and sighed.

"Looks like they shut the gate again, it's okay though, I know another way in." She reassured you, opening the door when the Taxi gracefully hit the floor with a quiet thud.

"If you say so......" you said uncertainty. This didn't seem right? It seemed..... sketchy. Although you did trust Marnie, despite how little you knew about her, she seemed like a genuine person, at least she never said anything about your identity.

"Come on, its round here" she led you down a grassy patch, a few Pokemon crawling around. "I know it's not the most graceful, but I've used it for years." 

You simply nodded, quickly fixing your mask to straighten it out more, meeting the Spikemuth gym leader you at least wanted to look presentable. 

She led you to a clearing, it was fairly wide, and the town just inside looked very dark.... gloomy and ominous. Uncertainty rose in you but you pushed it down.

"So no power spot here, huh?" You asked, trying to make conversation.

"Nope, my big bro doesn't trust dynamaxing, says something about it being unnatural." She turned to you "I guess you two are similar in that regard" you looked away.

"Well, maybe..... although my reasons are different" you explained. From what little you saw of Piers on the news, he definitely looked intimidating. Not someone you wanted to get on the bad side of, and coming to his town unannounced probably wouldn't make a great first impression.

"You sure he's going to be alright with this?" You asked timidly, as Marnie led you down the darkened streets.

"I'm sure of it, he's not as tough as he looks" she joked, before she felt you shrink away behind her and grab her arm.

People were approaching the two of you, they looked to be the same people from the incident in Motostoke, they certainly looked intimidating, even more so in the dim lighting. You couldn't stand to be yelled at again, so you feebly hid behind Marnie as the group approached.

"Hey Marn', yer back early." One of the older men said.

"Mhm, I'm heading home for tonight" she calmly explained.

"Who've ye got with ya?" One of the girls asked.

"A guest, and she prefers to be left alone" Marnie stated firmly, she could be persuasive when she wanted to.

"Ah, sorry t' bother ya." Another of the team said, before walking off with the rest of the group. 

"You sure you're holding up okay?" Marnie asked as she turned to you, noticing you were still cowering behind her.

"Y-yeah, they're definitely gone right?" You asked shakily 

"Definitely, I'll make sure they won't bother you." She comforted you. "Anyways, let's head to my place, it's just down here."

As the two of you walked down the street, still gripping her hand, you had a casual conversation, nothing major, just general small talk.

The further you went into the town, the more dark and intimidating it got, there was also speakers littered around, all blasting the same music. It reminded you of the stadium, in a good way. Although you did grip Marnie's hand tighter as you progressed.

"Okay... I'm about to ask something big but....." Marnie trailed off, a lump of dread formed in your stomach. "Can you take off your mask?"

"W-why?" You defensively said, stepping back slightly.

"It's just.... I've already seen you without it, and my bro isn't going to mind what you look like either. Also, team yell will be a lot more accepting than you think...." she explained calmly. She was convincing, that's for sure.

Well, it's not like Leon or Hop was going to be here, right?

What did you have to lose?

"Okay then..." you replied quietly.

"Thank you, I know this is difficult for you." She reassured, leading you to an apartment-like building and quickly unlocking it.

You cautiously removed your mask and sunglasses, you felt exposed, awful, afraid, but Marnie didn't seem like the type to judge you. In front of a crowd would be a different story though.

Marnie opened the door and led you inside the apartment, turning the key behind her. The unique look and smell of the room slightly overwhelmed you, although you recovered quickly.

"Just upstairs, we can talk there and I'll make you a cuppa" she said, leading you by the hand up the staircase, towards the living space of the apartment.

Just as the two of you reached the top of the stairs, a voice rang out from the main room.

"Your home early Marn"" A tired-sounding voice stated, just hearing it made your blood run cold with fear, maybe you shouldn't have just showed up unannounced....

"Yep! And I've brought a guest with me too." She replied in a loud enough voice for the man in the main room to hear.

"Who 's it?" The voice asked.

"I'll show you" she responded, before forcefully dragging you into the main room, coming face-to-face with the dark type gym leader sat on the couch.

Piers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New update proba in 2 days? Although maybe 3? Just depends how much I can procrastinate on my work to write this. Anyways, it's late, so I'm just gonna say stay hydrated!


	25. Cheering for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woooh. Today's been a looooong day, and I should really stop writing so late. I should also up my proofreading skills as I've noticed a few grammatical errors slipping through even when I proofread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, enjoy the chapter! Same deal as always, new chapter in 2 days.

Chapter 25  
Cheering for me?

You averted your gaze towards the walls, noticing the slightly-marked paint on them, with various pictures hung up on them, most of concerts, framed photos of the man in question on a stage holding a microphone close. The skirting boards also had a few marks across them. Although the grey carpet was surprisingly clean and felt fluffy beneath your feet.

Eventually, you had to look at the man on the couch, you couldn't inspect the walls forever. You snuck a quick glance at Piers.

He looked even more intimidating in person. Pale skin with a long mop of hair that hung messily over his shoulders, different from his usual hairstyle, which tied it back loosely. His eyes were terrifying, with dark circles shadowing them. A baggy top was draped across his toro, he was obviously not expecting company.

Just looking at him sent a huge shiver down your spine, and you instantly regretted coming here. You feebly attempted to pull away from Marnie's grip, but it was no use, the girl had a grip like steel.

Piers simply looked at you, saw you shifting anxiously and instantly understood the situation. A lot of people judged him on appearance alone, so the sight was familiar, although you seemed a bit too anxious. More than the average person anyways.

"This is...." Marnie began, before looking to you for guidance. She was conflicted between saying Y/N and A/N, although you just wanted her to say anything, anything to make you talk as little as possible.

"I'm Y/N..." you surprised yourself by saying. So much for Y/N being gone. "But I go by A/N right now" you finished.

The man simply looked at you, his eyes softer than you noticed at first glance. "'N I'm Piers, Nice t' meet ya"

You bit your lip and nodded, looking to the floor to avoid eye contact. You counted each dot on the carpet, attempting to calm yourself. It had definitely been a while since you had talked to someone new without your mask, and your face felt remarkably bare.

"So ye go by A/N? Like the A/N from the gym challenge?" Piers asked casually, at least his body language seemed quite relaxed. 

Marnie answered for you, "Yep, I brought her over here since she asked if we could talk." You couldn't see, but you assumed Piers nodded.

"Mhm, that's aright. She can stay here as long as she wants." The older man said. 

"Great, I'll go put the kettle on, want anything Piers??" 

"Yeah, just a cuppa will do." 

"Great, I'll be right back." With that, Marnie walked out the room and left you alone with Piers. Your breathing was shaky, and you struggled to keep upright.

You continued to look at the floor, still shaking with anxiety. Piers must have noticed as you heard what sounded like shuffling, then when you looked up at him you saw he had moved so that you could fit on the couch next to him.   
"'S alright, you can sit down if you want" he said lazily, although you were able to tell that it was his usual tone of voice and that he wasn't actually uncaring. You reluctantly sat down on the couch next to him, looking down at your legs to avoid conversation. Cups clinked in the other room, Marnie was only going to be a few minutes.

As the kettle whirred gently in the background, Piers struck up a conversation 

"I saw yer battle on the telly, yet pretty tough compared t' the other challengers" you nodded, still not looking up from your legs, although Piers didn't seem to mind.

"'ts nice hav'n a challenger that doesn't dynamax, really shows how strong you are" He continued. You were surprised, Piers looked so intimidating...... but maybe he wasn't so bad. 

"Thanks...." you whispered, Piers heard it and smiled to himself, happy that he could help you even slightly.

At that point, Marnie walked through the door, Three cups of Tea in her hands, she swiftly placed them down on the small coffee table and nodded slightly to you, before sitting down on a chair next to the couch.

"So...." she began, picking her cup of the table and taking a long swig. "What did you want to talk to me about?" Piers also picked up a mug, but held it in his hands instead of taking a sip. 

Even with only two people's eyes on you, you felt pressured. You reached up to adjust your mask from habit, only to realise that it wasn't there, you were exposed. It felt as though you had been stripped bare, you never realised how dependent you had become on your mask.

"'ts alright, take yer time. We'll listen" Piers said calmly. 

"Well.... I just....." you began, trying to keep your emotions in check. "I don't feel good, and I don't understand why...." 

Marnie took another sip of her tea, and gazed at you from over the rim of the cup. "Care to elaborate?" She asked.

You really didn't want to, but that was the whole reason you called her. Opening up was always difficult for you, especially in a completely unknown house, completely unknown town with a complete stranger sitting next to you. You had to control yourself. It would be okay.

"I..... I abandoned Y/N" you blurted out. Still not bothering to look at either of the people in the room with you, that would only make it harder.

"Okay..... can you explain more?" Marnie asked. You released a breath you didn't realise you had been holding, before shaking your head gently. This was all too much, and asking for help or advice wasn't your strong suit.

The older man had a good idea of what happened. He was more perceptive than his younger sister, and also had experience with this kind of situation. You reminded him of a younger version of Marnie, and he was able to help her, so he should help you. Despite being almost a complete stranger, he felt something.... an urge to make you feel more comfortable. 

"Well, yer really brave for thinking t' come here" Piers began, scratching his neck a bit. "I s'posse the gym challenge got t' ye?" He asked gently.  
You nodded.

"Well 't's great ye were even able t' think about coming here" He continued, still fiddling with his necklace gently. "So just take yer time and say what you need t'" 

With that one comment, everything came pouring out. You sat and explained everything about your double life, how stressed you had been, the interactions with team yell. Everything. By the end of your rant you were close to tears, neither Piers nor Marnie has interrupted you once during the whole time you were talking.

When there was a short pause, indicating you had finished, Marnie was the first to speak up. 

"I see. Do you feel better now you've talked about it?" You responded with a shrug of your shoulders.

"Well.... sounds like yer pretty stressed. That sounds like t' reason ye can't battle well, and the reason yer not enjoying it." Piers spike up. You managed to lift your head and look the older man in the eyes, fighting the liquid that threatened to spill from your own.

"Has team Yell bothered you again? ". Marnie asked, you shook your head truthfully. You had occasionally spotted a few people in a team yell uniform, but you took care to avoid them to avoid a repeat situation from what happened at Motostoke.

"Mmm. Marn' told me 'bout that incident. I've asked them t' be more cautious about who they're botherin'" the older man said. "D'ye not handle noise well?" 

You shook your head slightly. "Not really. When everyone is screaming.... everyone in the audience screaming about how they want to see me be crushed by my opponent.... it's awful. And team Yell screaming at me right after my first loss.... when I felt so bad.... it was awful." You said through repressed sobs. "It feels like whenever people are loud they just say how much they want me to fail...."

The young girl nodded, and the older brother spoke up. 

"So ye don't like noise 'cuz you feel like when people are loud they're just cheering against ye?" He asked, although he didn't wait for a response. "What about t' people cheering for ye?" 

"I don't know what that feels like." You truthfully admitted, whenever someone cheered, it always seemed your be against you, not for you. 

"You remind me of how I used to be....." Marnie said to both herself and you, "Until my big bro helped me out. Making team yell n' all." 

You laughed slightly. "So I just need to stop feeling down?" You asked semi-sarcastically.

"Nah, it's more complex t'n that. Maybe you just need a reminder that there are people cheering FOR ye. If ye've got no one cheering fer ye, 'cuz yer hiding behind that mask all the time, yer gonna feel pretty down. I could ask team yell to dial it back a little, sound good?" Piers asked. 

"I guess so...." you trailed off.

"Great, I'll let them know 'bout all this. They won't bother you again." The man smiled slightly. 

"Sooo. Do you have an Inn you're staying at for tonight?" Marnie asked.

"Ah, Nope, I've got all my stuff in this bag..... I'm sure I can find an Inn somewhere."

"Nonsense, ye can have the spare bed, I don't mind ye staying 'ere for t' night." Piers stated, rising from the couch and gathering the now-empty cups. "Ye can change in t' bathroom. I'll just get some stuff prepared"   
"Ah... thank you." You gratefully said to him. 

"T's no problem." He said casually from the kitchen, Marnie picked up your bag from next to the couch and started walking to the bathroom.

"Just change in here 'K?" She said. You nodded.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit!" The girl said as the bathroom door shut. 

This went better than expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I was considering giving A/N a shiny? Although that also comes off as "ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL" vibes so I'm really on the fence about it. If it happens, it happens, so don't be too surprised if a shiny turns up all of a sudden. Xxx


	26. Cool down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the nice comments and Kudos! It's really motivated me, so new chapter tomorrow (I promise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided on Y/N's last Pokemon, although I might give her 7 (not to use all 7 in battle obviously) but just have an extra one as a way of transportation. I don't want her to rely on flying taxi's too much.

Chapter 26  
Cool down.

Despite the fact that it had only been a day since you challenged Allister, you already made your way through glimwood tangle, You couldn't challenge Opal until Wednesday, although it didn't stop you from trekking through the route to her town. Ballonlea was the town you were most looking forward to. It had none of the harsh heat from stow-on-side, none of the crowds from Hammerlocke, and none of the intensity of Spikemuth. It seemed perfect.

But then again, so did everything else up until this point. 

You knew things had to be too good to be true. 

However, the little voice at the back of your head didn't stop you from continuing through the wilderness. Taking note of how the Pokemon in the tall grass seemed so much more reserved, almost quieter than the Pokemon in most routes, it was certainly refreshing.

As the dim light of the mushrooms faintly illuminated the path in front of you, you found yourself watching the various Pokemon running around in the tall grass. You didn't bother to engage in a battle, it almost seemed cruel, when they seemed so reserved and happy here.

You watched as a small group of Pokemon quietly danced around a patch of grass, they were a shimmering white colour, and had a body similar to Musdale, although a lot more petite looking. A mop of curly purple and blue hair cascaded around their heads, giving them an almost majestic look. As you watched in silence, you felt calm. Much more at peace than you had felt previously.

One of the heard spotted you watching, and silently approached you. You stayed calm and as still as you could, not wanting to scare it off with any sudden movements. It gently trotted over to you, the rest of the group watching it closely. It inspected your outstretched hand, sniffing it to make sure you weren't a threat, before rubbing its milky white head against your palm. It stayed this way for a while, allowing you to gently stroke its mane and head. 

Eventually, it trotted closer, inspecting the bag on the ground next to you, containing all your belongings. After spending the previous night at Spikemuth, Marnie had given you a larger bag which could store everything you needed easily, it was a much needed upgrade from your old rucksack.

As the Pokemon inspected the contents of your bag, you quickly took out your phone and scanned it, quickly skimming over the data on the screen.

"Galarian Ponyta,  
This Pokemon will look into your eyes and read the contents of your heart, if it finds evil there, it promptly hides away."

Well, at least it seemed comfortable approaching you, that was probably a good sign?

"It's small horn hides a healing power, with a few rubs of this Pokemon's horn, any slight wound you have will be healed."  
Hmmm, good to know.

You turned your head to see that the Ponyta had found your stash of berries, and was happily munching away on a leppa Berry. You simply smiled and took the small box of berries out your bag, holding out a few to the rest of the Ponyta that didn't approach you.

They approached cautiously, slowly taking a small nibble of one of the berries, before the rest quickly dug in, juice from the berries sprayed everywhere, although you didn't mind. You were happy here, no crowds, no people, just you and Pokemon, enjoying berries together. 

When the stock of berries was completely depleted, the Ponyta didn't attempt to walk away or leave you there. They simply stayed by you, allowing you to relax and pet them for a while, they certainly seemed just as calm as you were.

For once, there was no little voice in your head, no worries about what was going to happen, no worries about what Hop or anybody else thought of you. You just felt calm.

It was a different feeling that you weren't used to, but it was nice.

\---------

You continued your trek into Ballonlea after a while had passed, you guessed it was 30 minutes at least. It wasn't too long before the vibrant sign of the Pokemon centre came into view. The faint glow of mushrooms around it.

"Whoa" you said to yourself. Noticing the luminescent mushrooms were dotted all over the town, various Pokemon such as Milcery and Sinistea floated around aimlessly. Although the thing you noticed immediately was the lack of noise, it was just as good as you thought it would be, better even.

All that you could hear was the faint sound of wind-chimes as the forest breeze blew through the town, and the faint cries of Pokemon. Not a single voice was audible, it was incredibly calming.

You could just stay here forever.

You decided to quickly dip into the Pokemon centre, it would be best to heal up your team if you wanted to do any training, although you felt conflicted about training in the glimwood tangle. The Pokemon there seemed so peaceful.... maybe you could just battle some trainers in Stow-On-Side? 

Your pokeballs gently spun around the machine, signally your team was healed, and as you took your Pokemon back, you prepared to head out the door, but not before one more thought crossed your mind.

"Check your phone"

You reluctantly complied with the thought, although you knew it was a form of self-torture. You knew you didn't want to see the messages, but you couldn't help yourself.

6 new messages from Hop.... and 5 new messages from Victor. Considering how little Victor texted you in succession, you knew they were worried. 5 messages in a row was a new record for Victor, although now probably wasn't the time to think about that.

Deciding to lessen the bombshell, you read Hop's first.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Y/N please, I'm worried."

"Why didn't you come home last night?"  
"Did I do something wrong?"

"You can talk to me about anything"

"I'll get Lee involved if you don't respond"

The last message sent a shiver down your spine, the thought of Hop getting others involved.... no... you couldn't let that happen. It was too risky.

Although what could you do? There was no point in responding now. 

You'd just have to take the risk. What could Leon even do about it?

You moved onto Victors next, scared to open them. Victor could be scary when he wanted to be, you had seen it multiple times when Hop misbehaved or got into a situation he shouldn't have.

With shaking hands, you opened the messages.

"This is probably a repeat from the situation at Hulbury but Hop is making me check on you."

"I told him your probably away at an Inn or something, since your not home"

"Y/N?"

"Seriously, are you okay?"

The last one only amplified your fears tenfold.

"Hop got Leon involved, so don't be too surprised if something happens with him." 

You quickly dashed out the Pokemon centre. Collapsing onto the stairs. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you read the texts, although it still stung. A lot. Although, at least you had a solution.

You quickly opened up Marnie's contact and started typing a message to explain what happened, but just as you were finishing the last few sentences, you realised that you would just bother her. She had already consoled you the previous day. So there was no point. 

You quickly deleted the message and pocketed your phone with a sigh. You sat on the steps in silence for a while, although it wasn't for long, as you heard a Pokemon's cry from the forest and quickly stood up. It sounded like a Pokemon in pain?

With no regard for your own emotions, you rushed back into glimwood tangle to find the source of the sound.

\----------

It didn't take long, only a few minutes in you spotted the familiar heard of Ponyta that you had seen on your way to Ballonlea. They seemed to be crowded around something, as the sound didn't seem to be coming from any of them.

You quickly approached the circle gently, and spin seeing who it was, allowed you to get closer and catch a glimpse of the thing making the noise.

A small, injured-looking Hatenna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk, I think Ballonlea would be really good for Y/N, considering she doesn't like noise or crowds, it sounds like her ideal place. Stay y'all xxxxx


	27. Help for those who need it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well. I said new chapter yesterday, but as I was typing out the chapter summary I realised that I didn't like where it ended, so I wrote an additional bit today. So extra long chapter this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the Kudos and lovely comments! They always make me feel really happy!

Help for those who need it  
Chapter 27

With no regard for your own thoughts, you tentatively picked up the small, scared looking Pokemon, quickly dashing to the Pokemon centre, although you ended up colliding with an older-looking woman. A woman that you quickly apologised for running into before realising who you were talking to.

Opal, the gym leader. A familiar masked boy behind her, accompanied by a younger, teenage-looking girl. 

Ah. Maybe you should have been more careful.

"Watch where you're going dearie!" Opal said with a small chuckle, however, her features became more serious when she saw the injured Pokemon in your hands.

"I'm sorry, I just need to get this one to a Pokemon centre and-" you were cut of by an angry sounding screech from the Hatenna in your arms. Something was definitely bothering her, and you didn't think it was the injuries.

"Calm down." Opal said assertively. "Hatenna don't like strong emotions, so you need to calm yourself or she'll only get more annoyed, okay?" She gently peered at the Pokemon in your arms, assessing its condition. "It looks to be okay, but we should still take it to a Pokemon centre." 

The young girl behind her spoke, "Opal knows a lot about fairy types, as you can tell." The young boy behind her tugged on her uniform gently, and she turned to face him. "Yes, Allister?"

"That girl...... She's like me...." he said quietly. You heard a small chuckle from Opal, as she trailed one of her long fingers down the Pokemon's rounded body.

"I suppose she kind of is. However now is not the time for chatter." She ushered you towards the direction of the Pokemon centre. "Can you return her to her pokeball?" She asked as the four of you entered the doors.

"A-ah.... it's not mine..... it's a wild Pokemon....." you admitted. "I found it surrounded by a bunch of ponyta." You explained, Opal simply nodded and handed the Pokemon over to the nurse behind the counter.

"Hmmm. Hatenna hate crowds, I'd say that's what it was." She said slowly, as the Hatenna was taken to a back room to be healed. "They can't handle strong emotions " 

"Opal's right...." Allister said to you. "She knows all about them, since she loves fairy types so much....." you could tell Allister wasn't used to taking to people, but that was okay. He reminded you of yourself quite a bit, and the encouraging shoulder pats he got from the young trainer was enough to help him speak.

"I guess you could say that, dearie." Opal smiled slightly to herself. "So, you don't seem like any of the regulars, and my gym section isn't till Wednesday, are you just visiting?" 

"Ahh, well kind of...." you explained, the mechanical whirrs from the other room doing nothing to soothe your nerves. "I came here to get away from the crowds, I don't like how loud Hammerlocke is...." the old woman nodded.

"L-like me" Allister spoke. 

"You two do seem quite similar.... although you look a bit older than Allister... What's your name?" You opened your mouth to respond, only for Allister to do it for you.

"She's called A/N.... she managed to beat me yesterday...." he said shakily. "She's.... talented."

"Oh, I've heard that name all over the news. You're the "masked challenger" everyone is going on about. You definitely seem like a strong opponent." 

"I guess...." there was temporary silence, but it didn't last long as the nurse returned with the Pokemon in hand.

"She seems to be okay now. I think she was spooked earlier, it would be best if someone kept watch over her for a few days." The nurse explained. "Just to make sure this doesn't happen again."

"I'll take her." You said without thinking, and before you knew it, there was a Pokemon being dumped into your arms, not giving you enough time to process what you said.

"Great! That settles that then." Opal said, returning her hands to the top of her walking stick. "I was going to take these two back to my stadium... do you want to come with? There are no Inn's around here after all." She asks cautiously. Everyone in the room could feel your tension, and the major reason you were being invited back to Opal's gym was so she could explain how you had to be calm around Hatenna, along with other standard care procedures.

"I don't have anything better to do....." you trailed off. 

"Okay! I'll lead you there, we can appreciate the view as we go by, it's truly a wonderful sight."

"I.... like the mushrooms." Allister said to himself quietly.

With a bit of idle chatter, the four of you departed from the Pokemon centre. On the way, you learned a lot about caring for fairy types, their preferences, favourite flavours and toys, and most of all, emotions. That was something you needed to keep in check around her. While Hatenna was out, you had to be calm and put your anxieties aside. All that mattered was the Hatenna.

You also learned the name of the young girl tagging along with Allister, although it wasn't a big shock, as you vaguely recognised her from TV broadcasts and the like. 

"It's Bea. I operate the Stow-On-Side gym with Allister here. Although Allister is doing all the fighting this year." She explained. "I think he's a bit tired, he's had quite a few challengers already" 

The young boy beside her groaned slightly, she smiled down at him. "Yep, definitely tired." 

"You were.... a really good opponent...." you said quietly, attempting to raise his spirits slightly.

"T-thanks..." he muttered, Bea continued to gently drag him towards the stadium.

"This is the stadium." Opal told you quietly. "It's very pretty, don't you think?"

"It's very pink..." you mumbled. It was true, the floors had dashes of pink, the walls were mostly pink, even the counter and the uniforms the receptionists were wearing were pink. Opal gently chuckled next to you.

"She likes pink" said Bea bluntly.

The four of you were lead to a back room, it looked to be a training area of sorts. Exercise equipment for human and Pokemon littered the room, but there was also a large bed-like object in the centre. With potions and full heals sitting near the end. 

Opal gently set the Pokemon on the bed, before sitting down next to her. Bea crouched down so she was at eye level with the Pokemon, Allister didn't need to, he was the perfect height. You stood back awkwardly.

"It looks okay now, Ms Opal." Bea said quietly, tilting her head to inspect various angles of the Pokemon.

"Hmmm... I guess you're right dearie, although it will take a few days for her to get back to normal." She turned her head to you. "You're up for the task dear?" 

"Y-yeah!" You stuttered, trying to keep your emotions at bay for the sake of the small Pokemon in front of you. "I'll do my best." 

"S-should we keep her at the gym...." asked Allister nervously. "She'll like it here..... I think" his talking earned a ruffle of his hair from Bea.

"I think that's a good idea." Bea smiled. "We can all keep an eye on the Pokemon here, although me and Allister have to return to Stow-On-Side by Monday...." 

Opal simply smiled, her old features looking younger, brighter. "That's fine. I trust you three will take excellent care of Hatenna." She turned to you. "Although, do you not have to return home soon?" 

"Nope." You said confidently. "I don't have anywhere to stay planned. So I can help as long as you need to. Well, until I challenge you, Opal." 

The older woman smirked slightly. "Well, I'd be delighted to have you help out for a while. Although about challenging me...... be warned, I don't go down without a fight." 

A shiver went down your spine, and Hatenna promptly let out a cry. You had to keep your emotions in check. 

"That's okay. Now, is there anything I can do to help?" You asked

"You could go out to help Bea and Allister get some berries?" Opal asked. "I can't shake the trees like I used to." 

You nodded, and turned to Bea, who also nodded. "We could use an extra pair of hands. You okay with that, Allister?" Bea asked the younger boy.

"'M ok with it." He muttered. Bea nodded.

"Then lets go!" She said, already heading to the door and leaving you and Allister to follow behind her. You heard Opal chuckle as you two struggled to keep up.

\-------------

Hop sat on his bed. Deeply staring at his phone. Eagerly waiting for a buzz, but it never came. He had been waiting, all of Saturday, all of Sunday, and all of today. Yet there was no sign of a response from you. With each passing second, his fears only amplified.

"What happened to her?" He said to himself. Groaning a little as he lay down, resting his legs on the wall and hanging his head off the edge of the bed-frame. "Why couldn't you talk to me?" He asked. Whispering it more to the empty room than to anyone in particular.

"Not even the threat of getting Leon involved got to you" he thought. "Something's definitely up." It was frustrating. You had never gone this long without texting him. Ever. Did you hate him? 

"What did I do wrong?" Hop asked himself, liquid pooling in his eyes. 

At that moment, an older version of the conflicted brother sat next to him.

"Hey Hop, what's up?" He asked.

"Ah, it's nothing Lee, don't worry about it." He lied. Wiping the moisture from his face with a quick swipe. He failed to be discreet about it, and Lee quickly clicked that he wasn't being honest.

"Come on, I've never seen you looking this down before. What happened?" He persisted. Hop quickly sighed, taking another glance at his phone, the "no notifications" displayed on screen made a twang of pain in his chest. 

"It's Y/N...." he sighed. "She's not responded to any of my messages. Or Victor's. She's never done this before...." 

"She's probably just busy." The brother reassured, affectionately wrapping an arm around him. "Why don't you go over and check on her?"

"I have" the younger of the two bitterly responded. "She isn't home, hasn't come home since before Thursday, her door is unlocked too." He looked around at his surroundings, his subconscious hoping that you were somewhere near here, that you were just out camping.... yeah. As the alternative was a thought Hop refused to think about.

"Hmmm. I see how that's concerning. Have you asked around, has anyone seen her?" The younger brother shook his head sadly. "Ah, that's not good." 

There was a short pause, as Leon thought about possible locations.

"Did something happen last time you two spoke, an argument maybe?" Hop shook his head again. Feeling frustrated.

"No, the last time we spoke was when we trained together in the 2nd Galar mines. She seemed fine then. Until the team yell incident. I don't understand why she would avoid me...." he trailed off.

"What about her house? Was there a note or anything? Or could you contact her parents?" Leon continued to ask.

"I searched the place, top to bottom. There was no sign of a note. The house was a mess, like she was in a rush. The only things missing were her Pokeballs, a few pairs of clothes, and some of her Pokemon food. No sign of a note anywhere." He said frustrated. "And she doesn't have the best relationship with her parents either.... not to mention they're both away right now." 

"Okay, calm down a bit." Leon soothes "I promise it will be okay. I'm sure we can find her somewhere....".

"But what if we can't!" Hop exclaims, tears welling up in his eyes again. "What if we never find her." Leon quickly pulls him close, rocking him slightly as though he was a baby. 

"It's alright, we will find her. I'll get the League involved, and if it comes to it, the police. Is that okay?" He gently calmed his brother.

"Mhm..." hop muttered. Not wanting to pull away from Leon for even a second.

"Good. Don't worry, okay? Your big bro has got this!" He teased. Still holding onto his younger brother.

They stayed like that for a while. Leon holding Hop as tears streamed down the younger boy's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I've decided A/N's final team. Although she may have additional Pokemon to not use in battle; just as transportation. You'll see ;). Anyways! Stay hydrated!


	28. Never met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I know this is kind of controversial but I've made a decision about Y/N. Originally she was going to be 18, but now I'm thinking about it, having an 18 year old being friends with a 10-12 year old (Hop) seems kind of dodgy to me. It feels creepy, and that's not the direction I want to take the story. So I've changed Y/N's age to 14. It feels old enough to have the thoughts she is having, while still being in Hop/Victors age range.
> 
> I do NOT intend Y/N to have any romantic relationships. ESPECIALLY not with adults (that's nasty.). This isn't a story about romance, so I apologise if my lacklustre writing skills don't convey that. The story is focused on Y/N and her anxiety, overcoming it and learning to face her fears. 
> 
> Also, in the Pokemon universe children are given a lot more freedom, so this doesn't seem to restrict anything story-wise. I thought about this a lot, and I think this is the best course of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, that was a long rant. Anyways, sorry for the late chapter update! I know it's no excuse but schoolwork got in the way again! And my phone dies if you use it for 0.3 nanoseconds, but I will try my best to update as much as I can!

Chapter 28  
Never Met

"She looks to be in perfect health. Brilliant work A/N." Opal said after she finished inspecting the small Pokemon.

"Thank you! I'll take good care of her" you reassured, despite your internal panic, you made sure to take the Pokemon with care, letting her burrow into your arms. Admittedly, she was very cute. Although you didn't want to admit it.  
The previous days had passed in a flash, Allister and Bea were never separate for more than a few seconds, and they made for great company. Admittedly, Allister had started out very quiet, and didn't say much without the assistance of Bea, however, as the hours went by, he seemed to become more comfortable with you.

"I wonder if he will ever take off his mask?" You wondered to yourself. Allister was certainly a lot more quiet than you were, although the occasional daydreams of him revealing his face to a crowd crossed your mind every now and then, it was a comforting thought. If someone like Allister could do it, you could as well.

You had learned a lot from the two, Bea was quite lively, after you got past her colder exterior. She gave you advice on how to collect berries, and how to identify plants safe to eat. It was useful information, and it was a miracle you had survived this much on your own without it.

Now it was Monday, and the two had swiftly returned back to the stadium, not before giving you kind regards and promised to hang out again when time permitted it.

Sadly, there wasn't much to do.

As Allister was defeated, you couldn't even prepare for his gym, all you could do was wait. Wait around until Wednesday. Just the thought sounded boring. Two whole days that you could have spent training wasted. It wouldn't have been made better by the consistent negative voice in your head. Nattering away all your fears and insecurities.

Although, it seemed to be quieter now. It wasn't ideal, but you felt as though you could push back sometimes, ignore it. It was as though it was losing some of its leverage against you. Although you couldn't understand why, additionally, you didn't understand why you didn't feel as bad? Everything had always been bad, everything up to Allister gym had felt awful, like a weight getting heavier and heavier, although now it seemed to be getting lighter almost.

Why was everything so confusing?

It was the perfect time to train, but you didn't feel like it.

Why not?

You didn't have an answer to that.

After exiting the gym, you found yourself staring at your phone again, a bad habit. Every time you did, you only felt worse. Yet somehow you couldn't help it. An instinct in the back of your head that kept you checking on Hop and Victor. You cared more about them than you liked to admit.

A rustling in the leaves behind you spooked you, and you almost dropped Hatenna on the ground, luckily, she was able to shift her weight to your shoulders so she didn't fall, however she let out a disapproving noise, that you reciprocated with an apologetic look.

You turned towards the source of the noise, expecting a lost ponyta or a confused tourist.

Not your best friend.

"Ah, it's A/N, correct?" Victor asked, not seeing your look of shock that was obscured by your mask.

"I... uhhh.. Y-Yes! It's A/N!" You stuttered. You hadn't seen Victor in a long while, and it was startling, to say the least.

"Cool, This is Ballonlea, right?" He asked casually, the Intelleon behind him rolling its eyes slightly.

He already had an intelleon. How much stronger was he? Stronger than you would ever be. For sure.   
"Yes, this is Ballonlea." You replied with as little panic as you could manage. You already felt Hatenna getting tense, and you couldn't get emotional right now. You had to keep calm.

Breathe.

"Good!" He looked around sheepishly, spotting the large stadium behind you. "Ah... I guess it's kind of obvious by the huge stadium here, huh?" He chuckled to himself. You quickly averted eye contact, not that he could see it.

"I guess so. Did you need something?" You tried to ask casually, although it came out more panicky than you would have liked. Victor instantly picked up on the tone of your voice, you could get away with a lot when it came to Hop, but Victor was impossible to fool.

"It's okay, you don't have to be scared. I just came since I finished up with Allister's challenge." He explained, making soothing motions with his hands, as though you were a scared Pokemon that would run off into the bushes at any second, strangely it didn't seem like a bad idea.

"I do admit though, I'm glad I ran into you, do you want to talk for a bit. I'm really curious about what kind of challenger you are, especially with your name plastered all over the headlines" he smiled "ThE mYsTeRiOuS cHaLlEngER" he mined huge quotations marks, and made his voice higher pitched, which got a laugh from you.

"That's okay, I don't have anything planned." You replied truthfully, allowing Hatenna to climb down from your shoulders, back into your arms. You would be able to tolerate a few hours with Victor, not like you had anything better to do.

"That's great, do you want to head back to Stow-On-Side? We could watch some of the matches with the other challengers?" He suggested, you petted Hatenna gently. All the while, your head slowly began to flood with thoughts. Like a ship slowly filling with water.

"He's going to find out"

"He's going to hate you."

"Why did you do this"

You quickly nodded before the thoughts got any worse, he replied with a warm smile.  
"It's a fairly short walk, but there are quite a few ponyta. I'll keep Intelleon out just in case" he turned to his blue lizard friend and gently patted the top of its head.

"L-lead the way!" You said. 

The walk was fairly quick. Victor wasn't nearly as talkative as Hop, so it felt a lot shorter than it was, although you weren't complaining. The view was just as pretty walking back as it was when you first saw it. You wanted to savour this moment as long as you could.

"Y-you have an Intelleon.... you must be really strong then." You whispered after a while of silence.

"Oh, yeah. Intelleon here is my buddy! He was the second Pokemon I ever got, we are really close. I guess he's a bit stronger than the rest of my team, since he's so strong and all." He smiled to himself, as though he were thinking of an old memory.

"Do you want to know who gave him to me? The champion himself." He said with a strange sense of pride. The words made your heart twist in your chest. It was bitter, and you couldn't understand why.

He was only recalling a memory, he has every right to do so. So why did you feel so angry... so jealous.... so cruel.

You really were selfish.  
Your self deprecation was cut off by a large bang in the distance. One that made both you and Victor jump back in surprise. 

"What was that?" You asked, looking towards the direction of the sound.

"I don't know, but I want to find out." He said, dashing towards the noise and leaving you to catch up.

"Wait! Slow down! It might be dangerous!" You warned, but your pleas fell on deaf ears, as Victor was already rushing towards the large staircase, climbing the steps as though they were mere pebbles.

Why was this situation so familiar?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updates are coming quite slowly, so I'm going to make an effort to make chapters longer and update consistently. I don't want this work to go on for months and months.
> 
> Anyways! Thank y'all for sticking with the story so far! Xxx


	29. Full house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter went different than expected.
> 
> I had a whole thing planned out for this chapter, but as I was writing it I decided to take it a whole new direction. Although I'll probably use the ideas I had here for the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I really like this chapter? Idk, I felt really happy writing the last scene, maybe because I'm overly-attached to A/N? Who knows

Chapter 29  
Full house

Panting, you looked up at the scene in front of you. Victor was already there, and he looked to be in a heated argument with.....

Bede.

The usual anger that bubbled inside you was less intense than usual, but it was still there. Bede really had a knack for annoying people, intentionally or not. 

Your eyes weren't focused on the two of them for long, as your eyes quickly drifted to the cracked stone wall behind the two, and the large, elephant-like Pokemon next to it. The scratches and bruises around it's trunk showing it had been in a fight.... or had it?

Did Bede destroy the wall?

"I won't let you stop me! I'll show you, and the chairman! I'll show you all!" Bede almost yelled. This wasn't like him, he never lost his temper, never in any of his matches, never after a loss, even with the fight with Hop, he seemed quite calm. However, now he was borderline yelling. It didn't suit him.

He noticed you standing behind Victor in shock, holding the Hatenna in your arms. The sight of you was enough to tip him back into his normal tone, however it had a lot more bite to it, as though he was lying to himself, lying that everything was okay.

It reminded you of yourself. Alone, with anger you couldn't direct towards anyone.

"Oh. It's you. Did you get over your anger issues yet? Or have you come to punch me again?" He said. His usual smug tone replaced by a more spiteful one. Normally you would have immediately snapped back, yelled something about him being weak. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to. He looked too... fragile.

"What did you do?" You asked softly.

"None of your business!" He spat, before looking at the Pokemon in your hands. "Oh? A Hatenna, copying my Pokemon now, are you? Couldn't even find an ORIGINAL partner." He smirked, but you could see it was fake.

"Cut it out! You're acting like a child!" Victor snarled, for once, you weren't the angriest one there. "You're destroying a historical monument just to get wishing stars? Is Galar's history really worth that little to you?" His words earned a glare from Bede.

"What do you know? The chairman asked me to do something, and I'm going to do it! I don't care what the consequences are!" He fully yelled. Losing his temper completely. His hands reached towards the Pokeballs on his belt, while still glaring at Victor.

"Let's settle this with our skills!" He smirked, although it was a crazed smile, there was no warmth to it, no spite or smugness, all you could see in his smile was determination. A crazed passionate smile that made all your muscles tense. "I'll show you that I'm the strongest one here!".

"Bring it on." Victor hissed. Readying his own Pokeballs. 

There wasn't much you could do, except sit back and watch. Watch as Bede was slowly, and painfully defeated.

\------

It was a massacre.

You had to watch as the light slowly faded from Bede's eyes, you had to watch as one by one, each of his Pokemon fell to Victor's Intelleon.

He didn't even knock out one of Victor's Pokemon.

"I... You- You cheated! This can't be right!" He turned his head to the side, hiding his face. You didn't need to see it, you could tell by his voice.

"It's over. You lost." Victor said bluntly, still glaring at the boy in front of him. "Now get lost." 

"No! I-I won't! I won't let you stand in my way! I'll-...." Bede trailed off into silence as he looked past Victor, features filling with dread.

You took a look behind you, at what Bede was staring at. What you saw sent a shiver down your spine for what felt like the fifth time today.

A man in a very expensive-looking suit, with a red tie tied in a fancy knot. He had cleanly shaved facial hair, and hair that was pristinely trimmed, there wasn't a hair out of place.

Chairman Rose, accompanied by his secretary, Oleana.

What little colour that remained in Bede's face promptly left.

"What's going on here?" The chairman asked gently. From behind him, Oleana glared at Bede. 

"I- I was collecting wishing stars.... like you asked me to." He stammered. Hearing Bede nervous was unsettling, Bede never lost his cool, Bede never acted like..... this.

"And tried to destroy a historical site. I think you left that part out" Victor added dryly. 

"Bede....." the chairman rested a few of his fingers on his forehead, sighing slightly. "What made you think that was a good idea."

"W-what? That's what you asked me to do, was it not?" Bede asked, the shakiness still present in his voice, although he was doing his best to hide it.

"Yes but....." he sighed deeply. "I hate to say this, to you of all people, but I'm truly disappointed."   
He looked towards the confused boy with sadness in his eyes "Bede, I had such high hopes for you, but destroying a historical site?" 

"I-I was only trying to help!" He protested.

"Without thinking of others." He cut in. "You didn't think before you acted, and now...." he sighed again. "I just don't understand, Bede." 

"Mr chairman, if I may butt in for a second, I believe we have had this conversation before. Do you not remember what we agreed on if this were to happen again?" Oleana spoke with formality.   
"Wait. No! You can't do this!" Bede begged.

"I'm sorry, Bede, but you should have known better." 

The short pause after that was deafening, even as a bystander, you felt sweat drip down your face. Bede looked horrified, and the chairman looked sad, disappointed. 

His next line was enough to shock any remaining composure you had right out of you.

"I'm sorry Bede, but you're disqualified from the gym challenge."

\-------------------

"Think he's going to be okay?" You asked Victor.

"I don't care, why should I? The guy was a jerk to me and Hop from day one." He mumbled, bag bouncing on his back as he walked down the stairs.

"I know but.... I'm worried." You said. "He reminds me of myself.... in a way." Although those last words weren't directed at Victor, they were more said to yourself.

"Just... forget about him for now. I don't want to think about Bede for any longer than necessary, and I've already talked to him more than enough today." He sighed. "Why can't he just be nice?"

"I think.... He's scared." You muttered "although I'm not sure, but I kind of understand him..... a bit." You looked towards the ground as you finished the decent down the staircase and landed on the sandy dirt.

"Even if he is, that's no excuse!" Victor kicked at a pebble halfheartedly. "It's not hard to tolerate people!".

"Maybe it is, for him at least." You looked towards the horizon, seeing the sun begin to set. "Hey, I think I should head back to my Inn for now. It's getting late." 

"Hm, oh, okay. Well, if you need anything, or if Bede bothers you again, just say and I'll sort him out." He smiled.

"Will do! Thanks for the help!" You yelled back as you walked towards one of the Stow-On-Side Inn's.

You began to walk down the path, towards the direction of the Inn's, but accidentally crashed into a girl around your age. You quickly apologised for your clumsiness.

"Ah! I'm so sorry Miss- wait.... Marnie?" Realisation hit you as the girl in front of you came into focus. Black pigtails, cute black jacket. Yep, definitely Marnie.

"Oh! Hey A/N! How's training going?" She asked.

"Not Great. I had a run in with Bede, and I've not even had the chance to do any actual training." You sighed, and Marnie looked at the Pokemon in your hands.

"Ooohhh, you caught a Hatenna! She looks super cute!" Marnie gently extended a hand to the Pokemon, who gently rubbed its head against it. 

"Well... I haven't really caught her yet.... I took care of her for a while, and now I just kind of... have her." You explained sheepishly. Marnie tilted her head in curiosity.

"Soooo, do you want to catch her?" She asked gently.

"I mean... it's not my decision... it's up to Hatenna if she wants to train with me. I don't think it's right to catch Pokemon that don't want to be caught." You truthfully said. Catching Pokemon that didn't want to be caught was awful in your eyes, forcing a Pokemon away from its entire life.... forcing it to obey you when it didn't want to. The thought made your stomach turn.

"I understand.... I feel the same. Although..." she gently poked the side of Hatenna's face "I think this one would be more than happy to train by your side."

You smiled from beneath your mask. "I guess so...."

"Well, if you want to find out we could always train together? I need to head through Glimwood Tangle anyways...." she asked shyly. 

"Sure, I don't mind. I need to train Growlithe and Thwackey a bit more before Opal anyways." You responded truthfully. 

"That's good! Should we head over then?" 

"Sure." 

The walk there was pleasant. Despite having taken the exact same walk with Victor less than an hour prior, and you would probably have to walk back to Stow-On-Side after this as well. However, none of that crossed your mind as the two of you exchanged a friendly conversation as you walked down the darkened paths.

After finding a nice, secluded spot, the two of you decided to take a little break.

"So, still on the fence about Hatenna?" Marnie sighed as she set her bag down.

"I mean.... I guess. I'd quite like to have her on my team, but the noise and the bustle of the stadium.... all those emotions running high..... I don't know if she wants that." You looked towards the ground.

Hatenna jumped from your arms to the ground, startling you quite a bit. She seemed to be trying to communicate with you, as she flapped the appendages on her sides wildly. 

"I think she's trying to say something" Marnie stated, attempting to figure out what the small Pokemon was attempting to say.

Hatenna ambled towards your bag, and attempted to undo the zip, leading you to try pull her away from your bag. Your attempts failed however, as whenever you sat Hatenna away from your bag, she would amble back over and try to open it again.

"What do you want?" You asked, earning a small sound from Hatenna and an additional flap of her appendages.

"Open your bag, I think she wants something from inside it." Marnie suggested quietly.

"Probably after my berries" you grumbled as you reluctantly opened the zip, Hatenna instantly dove in, rummaging through your bag loudly.

You expected her to emerge with berry juice around her mouth, a chewed-up sock or perhaps a rouge piece of food that had fallen to the bottom of your bag.

Not an empty pokeball.

You sat in shock as Hatenna slowly rolled the pokeball out, rolling it all the way up to you and stopping next to your thigh. She looked up at you expectantly.

She couldn't be suggesting..... did she want to come with you?

"Do.... you wanna?" You gestured to the Pokeball, earning an eager nod from the little pink ball.

"But the crowds, the noise, all the emotions running high..... are you sure?" You asked, if you forced Hatenna to get into something she wasn't prepared for, you would never forgive yourself. Surprisingly, Hatenna nodded again.

"I think you should trust her on this one. It seems to be what she wants...." Marnie said quietly.

You stared at the Pokemon in front of you. Allowing what was happening to sink in. You were about to catch a Pokemon.... all by yourself.... with no help..... Could you really do it? What if you were a bad trainer? What if you neglected it? What if catching Hatenna only led to her being unhappy battling? What if-

No! It's all going to be okay.

Just breathe.

You took a deep breath, and smiled. Readying the pokeball in your hands.

"Are you ready?" You asked confidently. The euphoric noises from Hatenna curling your lips upwards even further.

"Okay. Here I go!" You threw the pokeball with all the strength you had, similar to what you did in battles. It quickly opened and sucked in Hatenna with a flash of red light.

One shake

Your heart pounded in your chest.

Two shakes

What if this was a bad idea?

Three shakes

What if Hatenna didn't like battling?

Click.

Your thoughts were cut off by the quiet click of the Pokeball.

Hatenna was yours now.

You caught her, all by yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! I really liked how this chapter came out! I hope you did too! Thank you all again for all the lovely comments and Kudos! They make my day! 
> 
> I'm excited to write the next chapter. Next chapter is the last one before Opal's gym battle. (Jeez, Y/N really has come far)
> 
> Stay hydrated y'all! <3


	30. Make an Impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhhh, I really don't know what to write here. I like this chapter, although idk if I'm over-using Marnie? Should I give more time with other characters?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye! Next chapter is the gym battle with Opal, and after that there's probably another 2 or so chapters before Gordie, although if this is too fast/slow, please let me know! I accept any and all criticism!

Chapter 30 (wow!)  
Make an Impression 

"How you feeling?" Asked the girl beside you. 

Your fingers moved across the smooth surface of the pokeball, taking note of the feel of the cool metal. Even though you had felt Pokeballs hundreds of times before, this was different. It contained a Pokemon, a Pokemon that YOU caught, all on your own. 

No one helped you, no one told you what to do, you did it. It was your decision.

"Amazing" you whispered, the look of shock on your face being replaced by one of pure happiness. "I feel....... happy!" You smiled at her, it wasn't visible from beneath your mask, but she understood all the same.

"That's good." She said, looking off to the side where her Morpeko was happily running around "nothing beats the feeling of catching a Pokemon, except maybe battling" 

You chuckled to yourself, "I guess your right about that one, this feels really nice." You continued to run your fingers over the Pokeball. It was nice, cool and soothing. It made your problems feel small, insignificant.

"Do you want to start training now? Hatenna could use the EXP....." she asked gently. "Or if you need more time we can stay here?" You shook your head.

"No, I want to train." You said bluntly. "Training in a place like this.... where it's so quiet. I've been looking forward to it all day." 

"Alright, want to just start right now?" She asked, and you responded with a simple nod.

"I'm ready as I'll ever be."

\---------

It was just as good as you thought, better even. With Marnie training only a few steps away, it felt as though you were battling together, in unison. Even though you were fighting separate battles, it felt nice to share the experience with someone.

The quietness only made it better, with only the shouts of you and Marnie audible, and the occasional noise from your Pokemon or your opponent. If all battling was like this, you would never stop. If all battles were like this, you would feel so much better.

"This is nice...." you whispered, as the opposing Pokemon fell.

"Isn't it?" Marnie responded, before calling out another order to her Morpeko.

You wished it would stay like this forever, but sadly, your thoughts were quickly cut short by a familiar loud noise in the distance.

"Not again...." you whispered to yourself, turning to see Marnie looking exasperated. "I thought your brother told them to cut it out?"

"I..... guess he didn't." She sighed, as the small mob approached, horns blaring and banners waving, all wearing the familiar pink and black uniform.

"Here we go again." You sighed. Although something caught your attention. The banners being waved, around half of them looked different, you tried to take a closer look however you couldn't, as the people holding them wouldn't stop waving them around frantically.

The group began chanting their normal chant, blowing horns and waving banners, multiple wild Pokemon frantically scurried into the tall grass. Leaving the two of you and your Pokemon standing in mild shock.

Although something was off, definitely off.

They concluded their chant about Marnie, then began chanting your alternate name.

Your. Name.

Oh Arceus. Is this what Piers meant by "cheering for you?" It certainly didn't feel good. It felt awful. You felt your cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

"W-what are they doing?" You asked, sunglasses steaming up from the heat of your cheeks.

"I.... think I get it. I'm pretty sure my bro must have said something about you needing cheered for. Or something like that." She sighed "He was probably trying to help, but....." the cheering persisted in the background.

To add insult to injury, one of the girls stopped flailing her banner and you got a good look at it. It had the same colour scheme as the other ones, but the person on it was different..... hair in twin tails..... mask.... sunglasses.... Oh.

"This can't get any worse!" You sighed, scolding your past self for choosing to open up about your problems to Piers. He was only trying to help.... but this was not helping. You only felt worse.

"I'll deal with this." Marnie huffed, stomping over to the crowd while you petted Thwackey to calm down. 

Could things just go your way for once in your life?

You turned to Thwackey with an exasperated expression, she looked just as tired as you felt. Feeling sympathy, you decided to temporarily abandon Marnie, but only until the team yell grunts were gone. Thwackey needed the extra levels anyways.

"Come on, just one little battle." You whispered to Thwackey, leading her further into the forest. "Marnie will be fine on her own for a little while.... I hope."

She screeched in appreciation, as the noise of team yell got quieter and quieter, once it was almost inaudible, you turned to the tall grass. A little Milcery caught your eye.

Just a quick battle.

"Slam!" You ordered, Thwackey immediately jumping forward, hitting the small Pokemon off guard and instantly knocking it out. At least she was efficient, and fast.

"Good jo-" you began to say, before Thwackey suddenly burst into a bright light. You reeled back and covered your eyes from the shock. Of course, this light was familiar, but you didn't expect it to happen so soon.

You cracked your eye open slightly, seeing the glowing shape in front of you begin to morph into a much larger shape, most of the forest around you was completely illuminated by the light coming from the shape, you could see multiple Pokemon covering their eyes and scurrying away. The shape continued to change, until suddenly, it stopped. As though someone had flipped a little light switch inside her.

You fully opened your eyes, expecting a little change, maybe she was a bit taller, maybe she had some extra leaves adorning her body.

What you didn't expect was the giant Pokemon towering over you.

Upon seeing it, you screamed and fell back, shivers went down your spine. This.... this thing couldn't be Thwackey? This couldn't be the same, tiny little Pokemon you got from Leon, there must be some kind of mistake?

But there wasn't, and the Pokemon that used to be Thwackey extended a muscular paw out to help you up. She was huge, and wracked with muscle. A large drum sported on her back, covered by a bush-like growth of hair. She really looked nothing like what she used to.

"Thank you." You said quietly, getting to your feet. Your rotom phone instinctively flew around the Pokemon, scanning it, gathering data. Before stopping in front of you and displaying its information.

Rillaboom. 

"A/N? You there?" A voice called, stepping out from the trees with a familiar Morpeko following behind her. "Oh, there you......." she trailed off as she saw the Pokemon beside you.

"I guess she evolved..." you chuckled nervously. Hoping Marnie wouldn't scold you too badly for running off and training without her, although she didn't seem to be focused on that, she seemed to be more focused on Rillaboom. Not that you blamed her.

"Wow.... talk about intimidating..." she tilted her head slightly. "Anyways, I brought my bag, so we can stop here for a while." She explained, setting her bag down on the ground and sitting next to it, you carefully waded out of the knee-high tall grass and sat down beside her.

"I like the logo on your bag...." you said, trying to make conversation to avoid any potential scoldings you may get. "Did you sew it yourself?" 

"I did, actually" she said, pulling a few things out of her bag. "I taught myself.... as much as I love the place, there really isn't much to do in Spikemuth" 

"Would you mind.... teaching me how to do it?" You asked shyly. Decorating wasn't something you thought about before, but if you were going to do the challenge to the end.... might as well make an impression.

"Sure, I don't mind." Marnie responded, taking a small, white sewing box from her bag. "It's not that hard once you get the hang of it." 

\-----------

"How do I look?" You asked Marnie, twirling around slightly.

"Great, you really got the hang of it really fast." She replied, sitting on the bench of the changing room. "I bet Opal will like it, she likes cute stuff..... I think" she looked around at the pink and blue painted walls. "Yep, she likes pink." 

"I could tell." You said sarcastically, twirling around again. "Do you think the crowd will like it?" 

"Definitely, it's a new look for you, and you've already got all this popularity from being masked." She nodded "I think they'll love it." 

"That's good." You smiled to yourself. "I think I'm ready." 

Marnie nodded again. "Do your best!" She said with as much enthusiasm as she could.

You gave her a quick look, and walked out the changing room, towards the start of the gym mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm not sure if this is a good pace to be going at? Is this too slow for y'all? Or do you like it? Anyways, I'm really enjoying writing, so stay hydrated! (:


	31. Getting used to this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1000 reads?!!!!! Tysm! I cannot thank you enough for the continued support. I'm really enjoying writing this, so I'm glad that people enjoy reading it too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. Late update AGAIN (this seems to be a reoccurring pattern) but I swear I'm going to try harder to write more. I've been working on a separate project, Idk when or if I'm posting it, but that's my main reason for the late updates.

Chapter 31   
Getting used to this

The velvety curtains draped across the sides of the stage. You heard the glossy floor squeak under your shoes. The overall atmosphere was incredibly intimidating, but for some reason, you didn't feel scared. You felt happy, excited almost.

"I can do this" you whispered, much to your own surprise. 

You looked to the woman sitting in the audience, her familiar purple scarf standing out to you, she looked a lot more different than when you stayed with her. Her face was contorted into an unfamiliar expression, looking to be a mixture of determination and spite. Yet you refused to let that phase you, and stood your ground.

"Well, hello dearie." Opal adjusted the umbrella she was leaning on. "I trust the Hatenna I gave you is doing well?".

"She's doing fine." You shifted from foot to foot, trying to not let your anxiety get the better of you. "I think she likes me" 

Opal smiled at you, and it felt genuine. However her previous expression returned to her features fairly soon. "I think you're ready for my challenge, but I won't go easy on you just because I know you." 

"That's okay." You continued to shift. "I wouldn't want it any other way". You attempted to sound confident, but it didn't come out sounding too confident. Opal understood nonetheless.

"Alright, prepare yourself" she smiled mischievously.

An older looking lady wearing the same uniform as Opal emerged from the opposing side of the stage, Pokeball in hand. Her silver hair hung around her shoulders, and she looked to be quite calm, unlike the older woman observing the two of you.

Okay.... you can do this. 

The trainer sent out her Pokemon, and you did the same, deciding to go with Growlithe. You chucked the ball towards the stage, watching as growlithe pounced out from the glowing red light. He was obviously happy to be fighting again, as he hadn't left his ball too often, let alone fought.

"Fire spin" you called!

"Spritzee! Dodge it!" 

Thankfully, Spritzee was unable to get out of the way fast enough, the attack hit, and Spritzee went careening backwards. Unfortunately, she recovered a lot faster than you predicted, and managed to land a significant hit on growlithe, doing almost double the damage growlithe did.

Were you in over your head? Should you have trained more? Was this a mistake? Your breathing increased in pace.

No. Stop it. It's all going to be okay.

No it won't, you're going to lose again.

Just breathe.

You're going to lose again, just like you lost to Kabu.

Seriously, calm down.

Your vision began to cloud, and your arms began to feel weak, Growlithe sat on the stage, waiting for an instruction from you, yet it never came. He saw your chest rising and falling rapidly, he saw your shaky arms, and as he took another hit from the Spritzee, he realised he had to make decisions for himself.

He lunged forward, wrapping his body in flames. He managed to manoeuvre around the Spritzee, barking as he wildly crashed into the Spritzee. The opposing Spritzee skidded across the ground, swirls in her eyes. She had fainted.

Your attention was brought back to the battlefield, realising that growlithe was victorious. It helped you calm down slightly, but the fog still clouded your mind, and there was still another Pokemon to go.

The woman recalled her fainted Spritzee, pulling out another pokeball from her belt. From it emerged a Slurpuff, that daintily made its way across the stage to face growlithe. Growlithe looked determined, steam escaping from between his clenched teeth.   
You weren't sure if he could do it, but he could try. You also had yourself to worry about, as you were still waiting for the dust to settle from your mild panic attack. Growlithe would have to do this battle without directions from you, but he never seemed to have a problem with that before, so he wouldn't now. 

Without your input, he charged forward once more, persevering despite his injuries. Through a combination of focus, determination, and him wanting to prove his bond for you, he managed to take down the slurpuff in a single hit.

It collapsed onto the ground, leaving you and the opposing trainer gobsmacked. Was growlithe really that strong? Or was he just being reckless?

You suspected it was the latter option when you saw Growlithe looking very injured, close to fainting. He definitely wouldn't be able to survive the next trainer, you had to reluctantly recall him, no matter how much he growled that he could keep going. It would have been cruel to let him continue fighting. Even if that was what he wanted.

"Come on growlithe" you whispered as the beam of red light sucked him back into his pokeball. The first trainer was down, only two more to go. Now was as good a time as any to train Rilaboom. He hasn't had much experience since evolution, after all.

"Come on Rilaboom, you can do this" you readied his pokeball in your hand as the second trainer emerged. 

"Not bad, but can you win a battle under pressure?" She readied her own pokeball, throwing it out with a graceful curve. 

You threw out Rilaboom, already planning your firs attack when Opal's voice cut through your thoughts.

"First question!" She smirked "What are fairy types weakness?"

Huh? Was this part of the gym mission? Why was...? Wha-? 

Okay, calm down. You know the answer to this one, thanks to Hop. His constant rambling about type advantages had been engraved into your memory. So this question was fairly easy.

"Steel!" You shouted, preparing to give Rilaboom an instruction, when you noticed that he seemed to suddenly have a burst of energy. From off stage, Opal smiled.

"Correct!" 

Ah, so that explains it. The gym mission must be centred around knowledge. Sounds typical for someone like Opal. 

Okay, focus. You had a battle to win, and Rilaboom looked ready. 

\-------------------

The battles were over, thankfully. Rilaboom was able to completely obliterate any opponent, possible due to her excitement to be finally battling an important battle again. You could feel the excitement radiating off of her, and you reciprocated that feeling with a small smile.

You sat in the backstage area, and tried to compose yourself. Even though battles in front of crowd were scary, you were beginning to be able to face them. You didn't feel as scared when you walked onto the pitch, you felt..... excited! 

Alright, you were ready.

As you walked onto the pitch, the crowd cheered louder than you were expecting, although, that was possibly because of the work you and Marnie did to make an impression. The crowd wasn't used to you looking different.

Your usual plain black mask had been completely changed. There was a neatly embroidered Lapras, along with several smaller Pokemon embroidered onto the fabric. A stark contrast to the plain black that the audience was used to.

In addition, the sleeves of your hoodie had hundreds of tiny Pokeballs decorating the fabric. They were more dense near the opening of the sleeves, and slowly faded out as they went up the sleeves. It hadn't taken much to convince the League staff to let you wear your hoodie onto the pitch, at least that's what Marnie said.

The cherry on top of your new look was the pokeball charms neatly resting on your twin tails. 

The audience went wild, cheering louder than ever before. Were you really that popular? 

For once, the cheering of the crowd didn't deter you, it actually made you feel more determined, more happy. You didn't understand how, but it did. Is this what Piers meant by having people cheer for you? 

Well, there wasn't any time to focus on that. You had a battle to win, and a gym badge to earn.

Opal walked towards you, umbrella swinging from her arm. "I see you changed your look since we last talked. No matter, my promise still stands. I'm not going to go down easy just because we know each other." 

You nodded gently. Fingers curling around your Pokeball. 

"I'm ready to get my fifth gym badge." You said with genuine confidence. Confidence was a strange feeling, you didn't feel much, but it was a lot more than you were used to.

Opal sent out her weezing, and you sent out Rilaboom, ready to take Opal down.

\------------------

"Alcremie, Go!"

Opal sent out her final Pokemon, her Alcremie, and you knew she was about to Gigantamax. Rilaboom was already starting to look tired, she most likely wouldn't be able to take out Alcremie on her own, but you had already committed to not dynamaxing, so there wasn't much you could do.

"Rilaboom! That's enough!" She quickly disappeared back into her pokeball in a flash of red, just as Opal recalled her Alcremie, ready to Gigantamax. You switched the pokeball in your hand, pulling out Mudsdale's Pokeball.

"You're up, Mudsdale!" You shouted, throwing his pokeball out as hard as you could. He emerged with a roar, throwing his head back with excitement. The crowd went wild upon seeing a new Pokemon from you, and Mudsdale seemed just as excited to finally be in a gym battle. 

"Mudsdale! Rock slide!" You shouted, seeing Alcremie grow to fill most of the stadium. Mudsdale neighed and ran forward, like there were sparks flying from his hooves. You could have sworn that he was smiling, but it was hard to tell.

Rocks fell on the Alcremie, causing her to stumble back slightly, but she was quickly able to recover. Opal shouted out a command, that you couldn't hear over the cheers of the audience.

The next thing you knew, star shaped rays fell all around you, before fusing into a single beam that threw Mudsdale far back. You gasped as he hit the ground with a loud thud.  
"Mudsdale!" You cried, hoping that he had the energy to get back up "Please! I know you can do it!".

He heard you, he heard the desperation and pleading in your voice. He knew he had to get up, to prove himself to the audience, to prove himself to you. To prove that he was strong, just as strong as any of your other Pokemon.

He shakily got to his feet, preparing to attack again. A huge smile spread across your face upon seeing him stand.

"Yes! Good job! Now rock slide once more!" You cheered.

He lunged towards the Alcremie, shooting off the most powerful rock slide he could muster. Boulder after boulder hit the Alcremie, and you heard her cry out in pain as she decreased to normal size. 

You stood in awe, not quite believing what just happened. Mudsdale had defeated Alcremie, despite not battling for months, maybe even years. You couldn't help the smile that crept across your face, hearing the audience cheer for you.

Opal recalled her Alcremie and walked towards you, smiling slightly. 

"I'm impressed. I didn't think you would be able to do it, but you proved me wrong yet again. I'm glad that you became a challenger, I think you can go far." 

"Thank you." You bit your lip slightly. "I'm glad I could show you a great battle".

\---------------

You exited the building, feeling overwhelmed and ready to curl up in a ball and sleep for the rest of the day, even though it wasn't even afternoon yet. Mudsdale was exhausted after the fight, and reluctantly returned to his ball to get some rest.

"You did good today, Mudsdale" you whispered to yourself as you slowly walked out of the gym doors. 

You wanted to go straight home, or to an Inn, or anywhere, really, but fate wasn't on your side today, as as soon as you were only a few meters away from the gym, a familiar, young sounding voice called your name.

You reluctantly turned to see who it was, and you heavily sighed when you saw.

You hadn't expected to meet him here, you hadn't expected to see him at all. 

Leon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Write my essay that I haven't started and is due for Monday (That is also very important)? No.
> 
> Write a new chapter for my fanfic that can 100% wait? Yes.


	32. She's What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woooooo, I had a blast writing this chapter, but I had to cut it short bcuz I didn't want it to be even later than it already is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do like where the story is going, but I can't seem to find a good pace, I can't really tell is this is too slow or fast? To me it seems fast but I don't know. Any feedback is much appreciated!

Chapter 32  
She's What?

Leon. Exactly the person you didn't want to talk to right now.

"Hey, A/N, have you got a minute? I need to talk to you about something important" He walked up to you, his usual smile replaced by a more serious expression. 

"A-ah, sure! Can we make it quick though? I have stuff to do." You scratched the back of your neck slightly.

"Of course" he nodded "can we take this somewhere more private though?" 

"Ummm.... okay." You nodded, not knowing any "private" places. The whole town was private. The chance of anyone stumbling across you two was very slim.  
"Alright." He began to walk in a random direction, quickly disappearing into the trees. You frantically followed him, remembering Hop used to warn you about his poor directional skills.

The two of you only had to walk for a few seconds before the town was but a smear of light in the distance. The woods were dense, and blocked out any light that might have seeped through. The only thing that kept the woods from being completely pitch black were the glowing mushrooms randomly dotted around the trees.

"I need to talk to you..... about something important" he turned to face you, worry present in his normally joyous face. "You told me you knew a girl called Y/N?" 

Oh Arceus. This wasn't good. Your heart rapidly pounded in your chest, leftover adrenaline from the gym battle surged through your veins.

"Yes... I knew her." You chose your words carefully, not wanting to accidentally slip up and reveal something you shouldn't.

"Do you know what happened to her? We haven't seen her in weeks. She's not come back to her house, and all of us are worried." Leon sighed, looking away into the dark forest around him to avoid eye contact.

"Sorry, I haven't seen her since Motostoke." You heard Leon sigh deeply beside you.

"Ah, okay. Should have expected that." He inhaled a deep breath in preparation for his next sentence, but seemed to decide against it as he let it out with a huge sigh.

Neither of you talked for a while, only the sound of rustling leaves and the occasional distant Pokemon filled the air.

"Sorry...." you said, breaking the silence.

"No, it's okay." He weakly smiled "But that's not all I wanted to ask you" 

More questions? Could he not see you wanted to be left alone? 

"Sure...." you muttered

"Raihan told me something. He told me that Y/N gave you her Pokemon?" You nodded slowly in response. "When did that happen?"

You should have expected this. Raihan wasn't the type to hold his tongue, and if Hop got Leon involved of course he would ask Raihan first. It made sense, but you still felt a bite of anger. A bite of anger that you quickly pushed back down.

"Just after Motostoke...." you lied "She told me she had to do something, that she wouldn't be able to take care of her Pokemon anymore." You briefly glanced at Leon to see his eyes full of shock.

You continued, "She made me promise to take good care of them, and that she wouldn't be back for a long time. I've not seen her since then"

You briefly glanced at Leon to see him frozen with shock, mouth hanging open slightly. 

"Are you alright?" You asked nervously. You hoped the lie was enough to fool him, and that his shocked expression didn't mean he just realised you were the very person he was looking for.

"Yes, I just....." he shook his head quickly, as if snapping himself out of a trance. "You haven't seen her at all? Did you ask why she had to leave" 

Thankfully, he bought the lie.  
"No, I didn't ask, it seemed invasive. She looked pretty upset....... definitely crying" you added at the end.

You were blissfully unaware of the thoughts running through Leon's mind, the conclusions it had already jumped to.

"This is...... I'm sorry, I need some time to think" he quickly stood up, walking deeper into the forest.

As he walked, you wondered if he had a destination in mind, or if he was that poor at directions. You didn't bother to ask, not like you had a chance, as Leon disappeared into the darkened woods before the thought even crossed your mind.

\------------

"WHAT?" 

"Yeah...." Marnie shifted slightly.

This couldn't be happening? What on earth? How did Leon jump to this conclusion? Why did he have to broadcast it so quickly? Has he already told Hop? 

"I got t' text a few hours back, I guess yer little conversation w' Leon didn't go too smoothly?" Piers asked from the couch, hair tied back in its usual style with his familiar uniform adorning his body. 

"I-... I-.... I didn't think he'd take it like this!" You protested, hiding your unmasked face with your hands, the actual mask sat on the coffee table in the centre of the room, and you felt an alarming urge to reach over and and quickly smother your face in the comforting feeling of the fabric.

"What did you say to him?" Marnie asked from beside you.

"I- I just said that Y/N gave me her Pokemon and said she wouldn't be around for a while! I didn't say anything about Y/N being dead!" You frustratedly rubbed your forehead. 

"Well, he seems t' have taken it that way." The man on the couch said, re-reading the text on his phone. "Seems real convinced he's right too."

You groaned in frustration, removing your head from your hands and leaning back on the couch.  
"What do I do? I can't just let him think I'm dead! What if he tells Hop? He'd be distraught!" 

"Ye could tell him t' truth" Piers suggested, both you and Marnie shook your heads simultaneously.

"I'm too far in at this point, I can't....... I've trapped myself." You sighed "I didn't want it to turn out this way, but I guess I did this to myself" 

"I hope this doesn't spread around too quickly, and I hope neither Hop or Victor are told about this." Marnie said with a sad glance. "I don't know how you'd get out of that one"

You took a deep breath in, before plastering on a smile.

"All the more reason for me not to get found out, huh?" Piers gave you a disapproving glance from across the room, and you quickly dropped the fake smile. "Alright, but now I'm worried. Won't Leon click that something isn't right? Or Hop? Or Victor?" 

Piers shook his head from across the room "I wouldn't worry 'bout that, underneath all t' champion talk, Leon is pretty dense. I don't think his brother's much different" his words earned a small laugh from you.

"Are you sure?" You asked quietly.

"Very, t' chance of either of 'em findin' out 'bout you is pretty damn small. 'N I don't think you've got to worry about t' other kid either" He scratched the back of his neck in thought. "Raihan is a different story though." 

You groaned again, not wanting to hear anything else about that stupid dragon tamer. It seemed he was everywhere you didn't want him to be, appearing when he wanted and pestering you with questions. Him finding out was the last thing you wanted, it would only seal your fate of Leon finding out. 

"He's pretty nice, ye could tell hi-" 

"No." You cut him off. "I don't want anyone else to know. You two knowing is bad enough, I never want anyone else to find out about this. I just want to leave my old self behind"

"'Aight, I'll respect yer decision. Though leaving yer old life behind isn't going to be that simple." He explained, Marnie listened intently beside him.

"No. I'm sorry, but I just can't......." you shook your head sadly.

"No one else can know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! Some angst for y'all. (Gotta earn that tag somehow!)
> 
> Love y'all! Xx


	33. Painful Reminder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, late. I know. I've been busy. (It seems like I keep saying that, but it's true) exams are coming up, and they are happening early bcuz of Covid, so I have to study for those. But I did work hard on this chapter. So I hope you enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the longer chapters, but I know a few of you don't, so if you want chapters this length, let me know. Or if you want them shorter/longer, let me know!

Chapter 33  
A Painful Reminder 

Thursday eventually rolled around for you, but it was a slow process.

Painfully slow.

Despite the fact there were only a few hours remaining in the day, it felt like an eternity. With each second that ticked by, your guilt only amplified, more and more. All your mistakes, everything you did wrong.

How could you let Leon believe that? Why did you? Why didn't you realise sooner?

Yet, the questions that plagued your mind more were the thoughts of Hop. You hated to admit that the dark haired boy lived in your head rent free. Even when you promised yourself that you were done with that life, done worrying about everything, you found it harder and harder to keep up.

Why did nothing make sense? You liked the gym challenge, you chose to do it, and you chose to give up Y/N. So then why weren't you happy? Why were you happy? Why could you not tell if you liked it or not?

Thoughts of Hop and Victor continued to drift by your head, again and again. Horrible, terrifying thoughts about what would happen if Leon were to ever tell Hop the conclusion he had arrived at.

How hurt would he be?

Normally, these thoughts wouldn't have plagued your mind so much. You never imagined that Hop cared about you. After all, why should he? He has much better friends, much better people to hang out with. So why should he care that you were gone? He wouldn't so much as bat an eyelid. He'd probably be happy to have you out of his hair.

"He wouldn't care" you grumbled to yourself.

Yet somewhere, deep inside you, there was a small part of you that wished he would be hurt.

You shouldn't care, you shouldn't think about him, your old life is over. You need to stop getting so sentimental.

That's what you had to keep telling yourself. 

Even if it hurt.  
\----------------

Eventually, the sun set on Wednesday, and the clock on the wall ticked to 12:01AM, it was Thursday, finally.

Not really though, as the sun hadn't even begun to rise, and Spikemuth was still plunged in darkness. The various ornaments on the mantles had served as your only distractions. Piers did have a few interesting ones, admittedly. A small guitar model, which looked to be painted with a shiny silver coating, a small microphone stand, holding an even smaller microphone that even a Joltik would have had considerable difficulty using. 

You had analysed every visible detail of them from your position on the couch. Sleep hadn't been easy to achieve, and every attempt you made was met with a crushing wave of guilt.

You were at least thankful that you had been allowed to sleep here at all, but both Piers and Marnie insisted upon it, not letting you go searching for an inn. You thanked them both gratefully, at least you had good friends.

You gazed at the clock, hoping a few hours had already passed. Yet you were only met with the sight of "12:02AM". You sighed to yourself, and rolled over.

Yet when you did so, you spotted something on the coffee table, something you were forbidden to look at. Something that Marnie had lectured you about not using.

Your phone.

You hadn't checked it in days. You had no idea how many notifications you may have gotten, or perhaps none at all? Perhaps they had already forgotten about you.

It couldn't hurt to check just once, right?

But Marnie told you not to, and you promised yourself you wouldn't.

Just one little peep?

No. 

You tore your eyes from the object in the table, not allowing yourself the temptation. 

Okay, maybe just one little look.

You immediately turned back to the phone, propping yourself up on the couch. You were immediately greeted by your background, and the time displayed was still "12:03"

"83 notifications"

Oh.

You opened your phone instinctively, immediately scrolling through all the missed notifications. 29 missed calls from Hop, 10 from Victor, and 3 from a number you didn't recognise. That wasn't even the majority of the notifications, there was 41 missed messages from various numbers. Mostly from Hop, with quite a few from the number you didn't recognise from earlier.

You fully sat up, hunched over your phone as you scrolled through the messages.  
Most of the ones from Hop went along the lines of "please pick up" or "I'm worried" despite supposedly being used to them, you still felt guilt in the pit of your stomach getting heavier and heavier with each word you read. 

Victor's were next, and they were similar to what Hop had sent, admittedly less panicked than Hop. Yet you found it so much more unusual to read Victor being panicked, even slightly. He never seemed to panic, ever. Even if Hop did something really stupid, he would simply shake his head, and get mildly annoyed, before returning to his normal smiling expression. Even when he was angry, it was bearable, because it was never directed at you. So reading even a hint of panic in Victor's texts only added to the unbearable guilt you felt.

"Don't" you whispered into the darkness.

The last ones were from two numbers you didn't recognise. One was the one that had called you three times, and you quickly realised who it was when you skimmed over the texts.

"Y/N, it's Leon, can you please answer your phone?"

"We are all worried, please?"

"Where are you? Are you alright?"

You didn't let your tears fall, no matter how hard it was, no matter how much clear liquid pooled at the bottom of your wide eyes.

You looked at the last texts, another unknown number. Again, it wasn't difficult to figure out who the mysterious person was.

"Hey, It's Raihan, Leon seems pretty worried about you. You alright, kid?"

"Wow, I'm surprised you were able to resist the great Raihan. Thousands of fans would die to be in your shoes"

You chuckled to yourself at how full of himself the man seemed to be. The laughter was enough to push down any tears that threatened to fall.

"Jokes aside, are you alright?"

"No...." you whispered to yourself. "I'm not alright at all"

Why did they bother texting you? They didn't care about you. You knew that. You were sure that they only hung out with you out of pity.

So then why were Hop and Victor so hell-bent on your safety? Did they actually...... care?

No. You're being delusional again. 

So then why did you still feel so guilty?

There was one final thought you had as you lay back on the couch, preparing to drift into the world of dreams. You had gotten so many notifications, calls, texts from a bunch of different people.

Yet not a single one was from your Mum.

\--------------------

Hammerlocke was just as large as ever, and the huge castle-like structure in the centre loomed over you ominously. It felt so different to when you came with Hop, it was as though he was protecting you, lighting up the city as the two of you happily skipped down the streets.

But he wasn't here now, and he wouldn't be here to protect you ever again.

"Stop thinking about that. You chose this path." You attempted to brush of any guilt that threatened to consume you, but to no avail.

Stop thinking like that, just get what you need, and then leave.

You had been running low on food, both for you and your Pokemon. Marnie offered to give you some, but you refused. You had money, and you knew where to buy it, so you shouldn't rely on others to give you stuff forever.

At least, that's what you thought.

You spotted the shop in the distance, and smiled slightly as you walked towards it. Your mask was still embroidered with the decorations from the previous battle, so you definitely stood out in the crowd.

Yet, when you heard an unfamiliar voice call your name, you didn't expect it.

"Umm.... A/N....." the voice began, and you turned to face the source, seeing a young boy around your age, possibly a bit younger. He had blond hair and wore a red jumper, with black trousers.

"C-can I have your autograph?" He asked, and your heart ceased to beat for a second. This young boy.... wanted your autograph? Were you really that popular? 

"Um... sure!" You nodded, as the boy held out a notepad with a pen placed on the top, you swiped it from his hands and wrote A/N in the fanciest writing you could, finishing it with a small heart at the end. 

The boy's eyes lit up when you handed him back the notepad, and you felt a strange sense of happiness. He quickly thanked you and rushed off, most likely back to his parents.

It was a strange interaction, but you felt so.... happy!

People liked you. People admired you. You weren't just another face in the crowd. You were A/N! A good trainer that people loved.

"Most people." The nasty voice in your head pointed out. "Some people don't care about you at all"

Your smile fell from your face in an instant, and you quickly turned your attention to the food, making sure to pick up extra bags.

\-----------------

"Thank you!" You walked out the shop, bags of both Pokemon and human food neatly stacked on your arms.

Before immediately crashing into someone.

Bags went flying everywhere, crashing onto the pavement and skidding across the cobble. You frantically apologised, before looking up to see who you had crashed into.

"Hop?"

"Oh..... hey A/N" he sounded depressed, all normal energy from his voice had been completely sapped. Dark circles clouded his eyes, as though he hasn't had a wink of sleep in a while. And his eyes were extremely bloodshot, as though he had been crying,

"Are.... you okay?" You got to your knees and shuffled closer, picking up a few rouge bags of food as you did so, Hop himself sat motionless.

"Oh.... Yeah!" He plastered on an obviously fake smile, before turning to help pick up some of the fallen bags. "Just tired"

He definitely wasn't. Something was wrong.

"Come on." You surprised yourself by saying. "What really happened?" 

Hop didn't respond, instead turning away to pick up the scattered bags. You persisted, not taking your gaze off of him. 

When it became obvious he wasn't going to respond, you continued. "Do you want to go somewhere private to talk about it?" He shook his head gently.

"No. I told you I'm fine." He insisted stubbornly, handing you the final bags, which you stacked back up and began to lift. This was a strategy Hop tried often, but you had a solution to this as well.

"Okay, if you need to talk, you can talk to me" you stood up, and began to walk away, leaving Hop on his knees. You only got a few steps before hearing something from behind you. 

"Wait!" You whipped your head around to see Hop with his arm extended in your direction, as if he was attempting to grab you.

"..... I'll talk" he muttered.

Works every time.

\----------------------

The two of you sat near the edge of Hammerlocke, close to the route to Circhester, there wasn't a single person in sight. Which was good, as this wasn't a conversation you wanted people to listen in on.

"I....." Hop began, staring into the distance. "Do you know a girl called Y/N?" You responded with a small nod. 

He smiled, but it wasn't like his usual smile, it was hollow, empty, devoid of any happiness or hope. 

"I was good friends with her." He looked down the streets, not attempting to make eye contact in any way. "We grew up together." You simply nodded again, not wanting to interrupt him.

You could have sworn you saw something cloud in the bottom of his eyes. But that couldn't be right, Hop never cried.

"She.... she's gone now...." he whispered after a long pause "she's gone, and she's never coming back" he began to gently sob, as a clear drop flowed down his cheek.

No, that couldn't be right. Why would he cry over someone like you?

Why did he care? You were sure he didn't care, but that one droplet flowing down his cheek was like a knife in your chest. A painful reminder.

He did care.

You hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop- consequences? What are they? 
> 
> Yeah, it's about time that A/N actually sees what she did from Hop's pov. (Lmao that sounds so mean)
> 
> Anyways, reader can never catch a break and is v sad overall


	34. How deep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I don't even know what to put here, I had so much planned for the chapter summary as I was writing but now my mind is completely blank? 
> 
> Oh yeah. TW for su*cidal thoughts later in the chapter, you can skip it it makes you uncomfortable.
> 
> (Edited to fix some spelling mistakes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teachers: let's make exams early and cram all the work into a 2 month period. Let's also not explain half the stuff in the exam 
> 
> Also teachers: why are so many students failing?
> 
> Seriously, I'm so frustrated. That's why these updates are slow, after exam season, they will come a lot faster, I promise.

Chapter 34  
How deep?

"Hop, I-....." you began, before your mind went blank, what was there to say? 

"It's alright mate, I shouldn't have told you about this" Hop sniffled as he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm. "It's just painful, that's all."

The two of you sat in silence for a while, as you were unsure what to do. You couldn't tell him, but you couldn't let him believe that you were completely gone. 

Right now, you had to try comfort him.

But how?

Your mind turned a complete blank, and you allowed him to sob from beside you, as you wracked your brain for something to say. 

Before your arms were suddenly wrapped tightly around his frail body, and you could feel the sobs that shook his entire body.

He buried his head into your torso, as his tears began to soak your shirt. There wasn't much you could say, or do. All you could do was gently shush him and rock him slightly, hoping that his sobs would slow eventually.

Eventually, they did, and Hop's frame shook no more. He still didn't remove his head from your body, but you didn't mind that. You had wanted to hug him for so long, admittedly not like this, but you weren't one to complain. He was comforting you just as much as you were comforting him.

"I b-bet you think t-this is stupid huh?" He hiccuped after a while. "You p-probably think I'm weak" 

"I don't" you gently stroked his hair "Losing someone isn't easy" 

He gripped you tighter, hugging you as though you would run away at any second. "I..... I don't understand anything, and no one will tell me why." He gripped your hoodie with his fists. "Not even Lee will tell me anything. I don't know how she...... or why? How does Lee even know? How does he know and I don't? It's not fair!" He began to shout near the end of his rant.

"I know, I know." You gently pushed him from your chest, and held him by the shoulders, looking into his eyes. "It's frustrating when no one tells you anything, and you feel as though nothing is going your way. I know that. I know it's hard" you looked into his eyes firmly, although he couldn't see that because of your sunglasses. "But please, stay strong. It will get better, I promise."

You looked at his trembling lips and smiled. "I don't want to see you cry anymore" 

Hop nodded, then scrubbed at his eyes. Before turning to your and flashing a very-forced smile.

"Okay.... I promise you that I'll try my best!"

\--------------------------------

You sighed as you walked down the streets of Hammerlocke, bags piled high on your arms. Comforting Hop had been difficult, but it did shed some much-needed light on your situation.

People did care about you, but you couldn't figure out why

Well, you had a lot of time to think about that, and the more you thought, the more confused you were.  
Nothing made sense.

"Oh. It's you." A voice from behind you suddenly snapped you from your daze. You immediately recognised who it was, and you already felt your blood start to boil.

"Just ignore him...." you thought as you pressed your lips into a line, continuing to walk down the streets of Hammerlocke, maybe he would go away if you didn't acknowledge him.

Of course, that didn't work.

"So, come to laugh at me then? Tell me that I had it coming?" He taunted from behind you. "Bet you and that Victor kid had a right laugh at my expense." You continued to walk forward.

"Oh? Am I not worth your time then? I guess royalty like you don't have to mingle with the commoners like me." That got a reaction from you, and you whipped your head around to look at the boy standing behind you.

"What do you want?" You balanced yourself, careful to not let any bags from your arms hit the ground. 

"Finally got your attention, huh? The noble A/N has spared some of her precious time to talk to a lowly person like me." Bede smirked. "I came to settle something."

You bit your lip to calm yourself, how did that guy get on your nerves so much? 

"Go on then."

"Well, after I beat your pathetic friend last time we met, you offered to battle me." He looked at his wrist with consideration, as though his dynamax band was a watch.

"Under the condition that you admit your own weakness." You snarled "you clearly haven't done that"

"Oh but I have." He smiled "I am but a sad little trainer, nowhere near as good as you" his voice was laced with sarcasm "and I admit that, so, you must hold up your end of the bargain"

"No." you turned around to continue walking "Have a good day"

"Hmph, sounds to me like you're afraid you're going to lose. How embarrassing that would be. A trainer from the gym challenge being horrifically beaten by a trainer who was disqualified. Think of what the public would think......." that stupid smirk was still plastered across his face. "Probably best you don't tarnish your reputation like that"

"Wild area. Now." You growled. "We'll see who the weak one here is."

You heard laughter from behind you as you walked away.

"See you there."

\-------------------------

"This is.... No! This can't be right." Bede recoiled, watching his partner fall to the ground.

"Good job Hatenna! You really helped finish him off!" You knelt down to the ground, rubbing the tiny pink ball who cheerfully smiled.

"No.... you cheated! This can't be right." Bede insisted, brows furrowed.

"Sorry Bede, I'm sure you tried your best." You walked towards the centre of the makeshift pitch, extending a hand towards Bede, but you weren't surprised he didn't reciprocate your handshake.  
"Stop! This isn't right! It wasn't supposed to go like this." He grasped his jacket sleeve as he looked into the distance. "You weren't supposed to be like this....... I was meant to be stronger" you smirked, happy to finally have some power over the boy.

"Hm. Well, come challenge me again when you want." You waved him away and walked to where your bag was sitting, ready to pick it up and be off.

Until Bede grabbed you.

You didn't expect it, at all, and you expected even less to see anger present in his eyes. It wasn't his normal anger either, it was furious, aggressive....... desperate.

"This is a mistake. I demand to know how you won."

"Hmm..... I'm not sure. Why don't you try figure it out." Your voice was sickeningly smug. It was just like how Bede talked to you.

Until you heard him yell.

"Why?" He screamed. "Why can I not beat you? Or that stupid Victor? What am I doing wrong?" He yelled, and vigorously shook your shoulders. All the smugness drained from you in that instant.

"I-" 

"Why am I not good enough?" He yelled. And you saw something that had to be an illusion.

Tears.

Tears were streaming down his face, like waterfalls. It was such an unfamiliar sight. You didn't think it was even possible for someone like Bede to cry, yet here you were, with Bede clinging to your shoulders.

"Bede?"

He wiped his eyes with a quick swipe. Before turning back to you, his face displayed pure despair. Pure, unfiltered desperation. He fake scoffed, then began to walk away.

He only got a few steps, near the outside of the makeshift battle arena, before he collapsed onto his knees.

You gently kneeled beside him, ignoring the feeling of Déjà vu. You didn't know how to comfort him, would he like physical contact? Or was he a person who liked space? You knew Hop liked physical contact when he was upset, but Bede and Hop were polar opposites.

You decided to let him cry, initiating a hug would have been invasive. 

After a long, long while of him crying, you heard his sobs begin to slow.

"Are you alright?" You asked timidly.

"I'm just brilliant, thanks for asking." Even though tears, Bede was still a master of sarcasm. "What do I do now?" 

"I don't know...... what do you like to do?" 

"I....." he hesitated "I'm not sure. I only started the gym challenge because the chairman wanted me to. I did everything for him." 

"Did you like battling?" You asked, battling always made you feel better, even when you were convinced you wouldn't like it.  
"I...... guess I did." He looked away into the trees. "It was quite fun, until I got kicked out."

"You can still battle-" you were cut off by a snort from Bede.

"What? As a pathetic no-name trainer? No thanks." He absentmindedly drew circles in the dirt with his index finger. "I'd rather just quit."

"Well....... what if you worked for someone?" You expected another snort, maybe a sarcastic comment, you didn't expect him to look towards you with a look of intrigue.

"Like who?"

"I don't know...... one of the gym leaders? You could ask them?" Bede looked away again.

"Yeah.... no. I'm not going to go gym-to-gym like a dog begging for scraps." He frowned slightly. "I'll just..... figure something out eventually." 

You nodded, and prepared to get up. You could leave now. He seemed to have calmed down a lot. You walked to the other side of the "pitch" and picked up your bag, as well as recalling Hatenna who had been busily playing in a bush.

Just after you put your bag securely on your back, you heard Bede call out to you. 

"Hey, you're useless at comforting people, but........" he looked away from you. "I appreciate the attempt." 

You smiled at him. It wasn't an insult, so it might have even been.... a compliment? A weird one at that.

You quickly turned your head to face him.

"Any time."

And with that, you disappeared into the vast forests of the wild area.

\-----------------

"Who said I was dead?" 

Your finger hovered over the "send" button for a long time. Way longer than you would have liked to admit. This seemed like a good message to send, but it would go against the whole "Y/N is gone" thing. 

But how could you let Hop stay like that? 

But you told yourself Y/N was gone?

But Hop?

But Y/N?

Without thinking, your finger slipped and the message was sent. A few miles away, Leon's phone illuminated with a message from the very person he had wanted to talk to.

It was done now.

You looked over the lake of outrage as you counted the seconds. You wondered how long Leon would take to reply, if he even decided to reply at all. You wouldn't have blamed him if he didn't. 

One....  
Two....

Three.....

Ping!

That was fast.

You looked at the new message, and before you had even started reading it, a new one came through.

"Y/N?! Where are you?"

"What happened?"

"Are you okay?"

"I was so worried"

You sighed with relief. At least he was fast.

You had already responded to one message, so one more wouldn't hurt. Right?

"I'm okay, don't worry about me anymore." That sounded like a good message to send. You pressed the little blue button, and the message was swiftly delivered.

You simply watched as more and more messages came through. Each one made you smile a bit, it was kind of..... nice? To know that people cared about you.

Well. You found it nice at first, eventually the continued buzzing became a bit too much to handle. 

Looking over the lake, a crazy thought came to your head. It was stupid, and there was no reason for it, but it was a thought nonetheless.

For some reason, you didn't think twice about it. Despite how dangerous, stupid and irrational it was.

You pocketed your phone, and took a few steps away from the lake, looking around slightly to see your bag sitting safely by a rock.

Then you ran.

Straight towards the lake.

At the last possible second, you jumped.

The cold water shocked you to your very core, and you couldn't see anything. The dark, murky abyss you had thrown yourself into was full of dark silhouettes of Pokemon of varying shape and size. Thousands of tiny black dots that you assumed to be Wishiwashi and a huge, snake-like creature that looked like a Milotic. There sure was a lot in this lake.

It wasn't made better by the lead-like weight of your clothes. The baggy hoodie had completely absorbed water, and felt more like shackles than the comfy hoodie it once was. 

Floating in the murky water was a strange feeling, it was terrifying, but it was also calming at the same time. As though nothing mattered as you floated in nothingness. Y/N didn't exist, A/N didn't exist. You were just here, floating.

Eventually, your lungs began to scream for oxygen. A natural response to being underwater for almost a minute. You began to swim upwards, when, suddenly, they came back.  
Those thoughts.

The thoughts you had fought to repress all your life. The thoughts that kept you awake at night wondering what would happen if you acted on them.

The thoughts that should have scared you a lot more than they did. 

"Don't surface"

"Stay here"

You felt your vision begin to haze, which wasn't good. Especially as you were underwater.

Just breathe.

Oh wait. You couldn't.

"No one would care"

You needed to surface, now. Your lungs felt as though they were bursting. 

"Just stay down here, give up."

No. You couldn't. You had to surface. 

"No-"

You pierced the water surface, gasping for fresh air. You were safe now. You could keep going. You weren't going to give up that easily.

You began to tread water, even with your heavy clothes. It would be okay. You just had to keep fighting. You couldn't give up now. 

You slowly started to paddle your way to the shore. Thankfully it wasn't too far. You hadn't jumped too deep into the lake. Eventually you were able to wade to the grass, completely drenched and ready to collapse right then and there.

At least your Pokemon were safe, and so was your bag.

"It's going to be okay" you told yourself out loud. 

Suddenly, you remembered your phone, in the back pocket of your jeans. You pulled it out, and found it unable to turn on. The rotom inside it whirred intensely, it sounded like it was in pain.

You pulled an empty pokeball from your bag, and held it up to your wrecked phone. The rotom inside quickly transferred to the pokeball. At least the Rotom was safe.

With the phone completely broken, and the rotom removed. You didn't see much use in keeping it, so you submitted to the first way to dispose of it that entered your head.

You took aim, and threw it as hard as you could into the lake of outrage. It landed near the centre with a satisfying "splash".

Sure, it had been your only way to contact Marnie, or anyone really, but what could you do about that now?

You leaned back on the now-sodden grass, allowing the pokeball to gently slip from your fingers. 

Today sure was one hell of a day, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That was a rollercoaster wasn't it? 
> 
> A/N is a chaotic mess and I love her


	35. The real liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You ever just get a random burst of creativity? Yeah that's what happened here. I had the last few days off so I just started writing and didn't stop. I quite like how it turned out.
> 
> F/C = favourite colour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is a big boi chapter, it's the longest chapter I've ever written. This is mostly to test the waters to see how people like the chapter lengths. 
> 
> I'm still experimenting with pacing and all that jazz, so if this is too fast/slow please let me know.

Who was the real liar?  
Chapter 35

You probably shouldn't have done that.

You looked in the window of the phone shop. The various coloured phones danced in the air behind the glass. You briefly wondered about the morality of having rotom a fly around in a display case all day, but on closer inspection you saw thin pieces of wire holding the phones up. 

At least the company didn't force actual Rotoms in the display cases.

Your eyes briefly glanced over the price tags, and you reeled back from shock. You wondered if you had simply misread it, but when you read it a second time there were just as many zeros.

Why were all the phones so expensive?

You sighed, and continued to look at the phones in the window, hoping to find a price tag that wouldn't put you in a years worth of debt. 

Just as you wondered if it was even worth looking for a new phone, you saw something in the reflection of the glass.

Well, more like someone.

You turned around to see Hop, who looked deep in thought. He didn't notice you and kept walking down the streets, but you called his name loudly, causing him to turn his head in your direction.

"Hoooop!" You called, waving your arm wildly. 

He flashed a weak smile before walking over to the phone shop you were standing in front of. He looked a bit better than when you saw him yesterday, but he still looked quite messy, with his signature bed-head that you used to see him with every day. His hair was usually like a bush, and you often had to force a comb through it, much to Hop's displeasure. He would complain that it hurt, but you would continue trying to make him look presentable until his wild mane of hair was at least somewhat neat.

Stop thinking about the past. You promised to never go back.

"Hey A/N" he sighed, raking a hand through his messy hair. "How are things?" 

"Pretty...... good." You lied "I'm just phone shopping right now, I don't get how everything is so expensive. Phones where I'm from never cost this much!" You complained, hoping to take his mind away from whatever was bothering him.

"Yeah, probably because it's Hammerlocke, everything here is expensive." His eyes skimmed over the price tags and he chuckled weakly "Yep, expensive alright."

You smiled at him "I don't even know what model to get, I never keep up with any of the recent releases. I think I just want one with a good battery?" You pondered "Oh! I bet your older brother has one of the top-of-the-line phones? What kind does he have?"

The weak smile fell from Hop's face as soon as you said that. "I don't know what phone he has..." he muttered. 

"Why don't you ask him?" 

His brows furrowed and a scowl spread across his features. You quickly realised you may have crossed a line. You saw Hop grip his arm tightly, a common thing he did when he was annoyed. 

"Are you.... alright?" You asked cautiously.

"Yeah.... I'll ask him what kind of phone he has" he said breathily "and while I'm at it, I'll ask him if the brand of phone he has made him lie to me." 

You stood there in shock, but Hop continued.

"I'll ask him if the camera quality had anything to do with why he stabbed me in the back." He tightened the grip on his arm. "I'll ask him how funny it was when he told me my best friend was dead" 

"Hop.... are you-?" 

"I'll ask him if he found me curled up on the floor crying hilarious. I bet he thought it was a right laugh, huh!" He yelled. "And I'll ask him if he really just wanted to see me suffer, why did he wait until now?!"

His yelling shook the glass of the window, before everything went silent. Only the dried leaves being gently carried down the street by the breeze was audible. 

You stood there in silence, frozen with both shock and fear.

There was a long pause. The silence was deafening.

"Why?" He asked after a while "I don't get why he would do this" 

As if on cue, clear droplets began to fall from the sky, one after another, becoming faster and faster. Sliding down the shop window like glass beads. 

The breeze suddenly felt a lot colder, and you saw Hop shiver. You found it cold as well, even through your hoodie. 

"Come on" you gently set a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get out of the rain" 

The two of you walked down the cobbled streets, not having a destination in mind but walking nonetheless. You didn't mention his bloodshot eyes, or his red cheeks. You figured he would just blame it on the rain if you brought it up.

The rain only got worse as you walked, it pelted down as though the sky itself was crying. You didn't really mind it too much, you liked how fresh the air was, how refreshing the cold drops on your skin felt.

Eventually, you made your way to Hammerlocke stadium. Neither of you knew how, as it seemed so far away from the phone shop. Yet neither of you questioned it as you darted behind the building, taking shelter under one of the many steel beams that erupted from the top.

The two of you kept walking until you were underneath the largest beam, directly behind the stadium. Hop sat on the piled leaves, wrapping his arms around his legs as if he was protecting himself. You carefully sat next to him.

The quiet sound of the rain tapping on the ground was all you could hear for a while. Hop rocked himself gently, and you sat with your legs crossed.

"What did Leon do?" You asked timidly.

"I don't want to talk about it...." Hop muttered

There was a long silence, the rain only got heavier and heavier. It pounded against the ground, seeping between the fallen leaves and darkening the soil into mud.

"That jerk......" he grumbled. "I hate him" 

"Hate is a strong word, Hop" you looked over to him to see anger still present in his features. 

"Yeah, and it's just as strong a feeling." He growled "This isn't some petty argument over a broken pencil, or the last cupcake in the fridge. This isn't anything like that." He hid his face behind his legs. Still cradling his legs with his arms.

"Something that serious, huh?" You looked away and picked up a stray leaf with your free hand, beginning to tear it into small shreds. "Did he at least apologise?" 

"No...." Hop whispered. "He didn't."

You began to say something, but stopped when you heard Hop continue.

"He lied. He lied about everything. He told me that he didn't mean to lie to me, that he didn't know. He said that he told me what he knew. But that was a lie too." His face fell as he recalled the events from earlier. "He's a liar. A no-good, dirty, awful liar." 

"Maybe he didn't know, or jumped to a conclusion?" You suggested.

"That's what he said.........." Hop briefly retracted his head from his legs. "I don't believe that. At all. Why would he tell me it like it was a fact if he wasn't sure?" 

"I...... I don't know, sorry, it was just a suggestion" you sheepishly apologised.

"It's alright" Hop huffed "I shouldn't even be thinking about him. I shouldn't give that idiot the satisfaction." 

There was more silence. 

"I hate him" Hop sniffed "I hate him and his stupid Charizard, laughing away in his stupid city with his stupid face." You looked over to see his cheeks were tinted red, a glassy bead sliding down his face "I wish he'd just go to Wyndon with his dumb cape and never come back." 

You shuffled over to Hop, wrapping your arms around him like you did yesterday. With that, the facade he had been holding up broke and he began to cry, still hiding his face in his legs.

"Doing all this just to spite me..... just to see me suffer. What kind of brother would do that." He cried into his legs "When he held me and told me that we'd be there for each other, when he comforted me and said that we would overcome everything together......" he released a hollow laugh. "That was just another lie, wasn't it?"

"I'm sure he had good intentions" you reasoned, this quarrel only adding to the already overwhelming guilt you felt. 

"So what if he did" Hop wiped his face quickly. "He's still a liar" 

You sighed and rubbed his back gently "don't blame yourself for any of this. If you really can't stand to be around your brother right now, then don't. Take some time away, let the dust settle a bit." Hop finally let go of his legs, letting them fall to the ground as he wrapped his arms around you. "Something like this won't go over quickly, but I promise that things will work out eventually"

"What if I don't want to forgive him?" Hop asked.

"You don't have to, ever. If you really hate him that much, you can keep your distance. Your life doesn't revolve around Leon, you are your own person."

"It's just hard for me to believe..... He always supported me, cheered for me, told me I was the best little brother ever." He sniffed again "I can't quite believe that it was all a lie." 

You didn't respond to that, instead choosing to rub his back more, allowing his breathing to steady before you continued.

"It's alright. I'm here." You soothed "I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, or a tent to crash in for the night." You smiled "I'll always listen, so please talk to me if you ever need someone to talk to, okay?"

You felt him nod, and you hugged him tighter, waiting until his sobs ground to a halt.

The rain kept falling, and you watched as each drop splashed against the ground. You watched as drips fell from the beam above you. You watched as the water slid down the smooth stone surface of the stadium. Thankfully, the wind was blowing towards the stadium, and since you were behind it the rain didn't fall on either of you.

"Thank you" the boy in your arms said. "Thanks for being there for me"

"It's no problem" you nodded, before instinctively reaching for your back pocket to check the time on your phone, before quickly remembering what happened the previous day. The gesture put a thought in your head.

"You know.... I still need a new phone. You can come with me if you're feeling up for it?" You looked around "it might help take your mind off things for a bit"

Hop nodded, but made no effort to get up.

"Are you.... coming?"

"Yeah..... but I just want to stay here a bit longer"

And so that's what you did. The two of you sat under the huge building, rain tapping all around you but not hitting you, as if there was an invisible umbrella protecting you. You don't know how long you stayed there, but you remember drifting in and out of consciousness as Hop lay in your arms.

Who was the real liar?

\------------------- 

"This one looks cool!" Hop pointed at a small golden phone with a matte finish, it reminded you of his eyes, although the shade was a bit off.

"Ooooh~ I like that one, it isn't too expensive either" you inspected the price tag hanging underneath the phone, the 50,000 poke-dollars was significantly cheaper than any of the phones in the window of the shop.

Thankfully, it was only the phones in the window display that were too expensive. Thinking about it, it made sense that the shop put their newest models in the display case. 

"I kinda like this one" you picked up a blue phone from one of the stands, it was a little larger than the other phones, and the price tag dangled underneath it. The description next to it said it was a newer model, but not so new that it was unaffordable. The description listed a lot of features, HD videos, unlimited texts, better microphone quality...... and-

Waterproof.

You burst out laughing when you read the last one, causing Hop to rush over to check on you. 

"Are you alright?" He asked as you clutched your sides, trying to stop yourself from looking like a complete idiot.

"Y-Yeah" you giggled "Just read something funny"

He peered at the description you had read, and turned back to you with a puzzled expression. You waved dismissively to signal he could go back to looking at phones. 

After you contained your outburst, you continued looking. Each phone was so unique, some were matte, some shiny, colours ranged from neon hues to dull greyscale. Some were even specialised for certain jobs, such as one that was advertised as being good for researchers. Thinking back, the model looked awfully similar to the one professor Sonia had. There really was something for everyone.

"What happened to your last phone anyways?" Hop asked you

"Ah, I..... Uh....... dropped it...... in a lake" you sheepishly explained. This time Hop was the one who burst out laughing.

You were at least happy you could take his mind off of things.

"I don't even want to ask" Hop said between peals of laughter.

"You really don't" you looked through the phones, eventually spotting one that you really liked. It was F/C with a matte finish, you briefly wondered if glossy would be better, before remembering how easily it would chip and scratch.

The description said it had a lot of features, it seemed to be one of the newest models, HD video, long battery life, 45Gb of memory. It almost sounded too good to be true. 

You looked at the price. It was certainly expensive, but it wasn't out of your budget. You picked it up gently and called over Hop.

"I like this one" you proclaimed.

"Me too, Mate. It's really pretty" Hop admired the shape of the phone, turning it slightly to see all the craftsmanship. "You've got good taste"

"It's waterproof too" you giggled to yourself "I don't have to worry about dropping it in a lake again" 

Hop laughed after you said that. It felt nice. Going shopping with Hop, in Hammerlocke. It was just like old times, before A/N, before the gym challenge. You were just an ordinary girl going shopping with her friend, you weren't "the mysterious challenger", you were just you. You didn't have to worry about what people thought.

It was a calming feeling.

"Okay, I'm getting this one" you picked the phone off of the stand, before digging through your pockets to find rotom's pokeball.

"You brought your own rotom?" Hop asked as you took out the red and white ball "from your old phone?" 

"Yep" you smiled "I took out the rotom, couldn't just let the poor guy drown" 

You dug through your pockets again, until you found your small purse and took it out. It was fairly small, with a Growlithe embroidered onto the fabric. Embroidery was pretty fun, it was a good way to pass the time when you were alone in the wild area, you were thankful that Marnie taught you how to do it.

"Cool purse!" Hop marvelled, tilting his head to look at the stitches. "Did you make it yourself?" 

"Kind of, Marnie taught me how to do the embroidery part of it. I did the growlithe mostly by myself, but Marnie definitely helped a lot" You explained as you looked over to the door which had just swung open. "Speak of the devil"

Marnie walked into the shop, her face displayed her normal blank expression, but you could see she was annoyed. Although when she spotted Hop her features relaxed a bit.

"Hello A/N" she said, her voice laced with passive-aggressiveness. "I've been looking for you"

"O-oh, hey Marnie." You looked away from her, realising you may be in a bit of trouble. 

"Hey Marn', how are things?" Hop asked casually, unaware of the situation. You took note of how he called her "Marn'", similar to what Piers did. Was this a nickname? Is that what friends did? Use nicknames? 

The only nickname you recall using for Hop was Hoppy, although it was mostly his mum who called him that. Victor was similar, Hop used to use the nickname "Victory" to tease him, although that was never something you called him, you didn't really like teasing people.

Maybe you should try using a nickname for Marnie? If that was something friends did, you should probably try it.

"Just fine, I've been looking for this one for a while though" she shot you a look "She was supposed to be staying with me for a few days, but I guess she had better things to do"

"Ah.... No.. I just-...." you fumbled to explain "I didn't purposely leave you or anything, I just got...... caught up in something."

"And you didn't check your phone?" She inquired, raising an eyebrow at your uncomfortable stance.

"Well, about that......" you giggled nervously "I kind of.... dropped it in a lake" when you saw her disapproving glance, you quickly added "accidentally".

"...Sure" She said sarcastically "So you need a new phone, and that's why you're here?" 

"Exactly!" Hop interjected "She found this one, she was just about to buy it when you showed up"

Marnie took the phone from your outstretched hand, giving it a quick glance up and down. 

"Looks alright, I guess," she handed it back to you gently "I'm not big on technology, sorry"

"That's alright," you reassured her "I think I'm going to get this one" 

"Okay, I'll wait with Marnie outside" Hop smiled, forcefully taking Marnie's arm and almost dragging her outside the shop. You heard Marnie protest a bit, but it was quickly drowned out by the sound of the closing door.

The process of buying, having the rotom inserted, and retrieving your newly set up phone only took 15 minutes, if that. You were slightly surprised at how quickly the process went, but you weren't complaining, at least you got to leave the shop pretty quickly.

You left the shop 70,000 poke-dollars lighter, and a new phone in hand.

Hop was the first to notice you leave, and sprang up from the glass he was leaning against. 

"Hey A/N, that was fast" he smiled.

"It was, I didn't expect the process to be so simple" you let go of the phone in your hand, the rotom inside springing to life and floating around your head. "Having a blank slate is a pretty nice feeling"

"Yeah, but you lose all your photos and stuff." Hop's eyes followed the phone as it spun around, the rotom inside happy to finally be out of a pokeball. 

"Oh yeah, but I don't really mind that too much." The phone stopped flying around wildly and landed in your palm. "I only really needed my contacts anyways, and the rotom saves them"

"Guess so." Marnie mused "Also, you left this at my place" She pulled a pokeball from her pocket, holding it out to you. 

You took the pokeball, confused why she would give you an empty pokeball. Yet when it fell into your hands the added weight only confused you more. It wasn't empty?

"You left the little guy behind, me and Piers had to take care of him for you" you quickly pressed the button in the centre of the ball, and Growlithe materialised in the middle of the street in a flash of red light.

"Growlithe!" You got to your knees as he jumped onto you, licking all over you as if to say "I missed you".

"Sorry Marnie, I just thought...." your hands slid over the pokeball in your pocket that you previously assumed contained Growlithe. Sure enough, when you pressed the button in the centre, you were only met with the faint pop of an empty pokeball springing open.

"It's alright, but don't ditch us like that next time." She leaned down to pet Growlithe who jumped from your arms into Marnie's. Hop also went up to Growlithe, curious about his purple colouring.

"He's really cute, A/N!" Hop admired the small Pokemon, patting his head gently "I've never seen a Growlithe this friendly to someone who isn't it's trainer. It's like we've already known each other for years"

At that point you were thankful that Hop couldn't talk to Pokemon.

"Umm... yeah! That's crazy, huh?" You nervously laughed, Marnie picked up on this and swiftly changed the subject.

"So, I was going to head to the wild area for a bit to train up my team a bit more. Wanna come with me?" 

"I'd love to!" Hop smiled, readying a pokeball from his pocket. "Why don't we all go on my Corviknight. It'll be faster."

"Uh, is it... safe?" You asked, the lack of harnesses or general safety gear Hop had was concerning.

"'Course it is, mate!" He threw the Pokeball out with all the force he could muster "I've done it tons of times"

Corviknight squawked loudly, stretching it's wings out as though preparing for battle. The force caused a huge gust of wind that made you cling to Marnie in fear of being blown over.

"I don't know if this is a good idea" you protested, but it was drowned out by the wind, and Hop had already begun climbing onto Corviknight. He balanced himself on top of the bird before extending a hand down to help Marnie up.

After Marnie secured her position, both of them offered an arm to help you onto Corviknight. You hesitated, still considering calling a taxi, but Corviknight was already out, and you didn't want to cause any trouble.

You grabbed both of their hands and straightened your body, leaning back so you were almost horizontal and could use your feet to walk up the side of Corviknight, the steel-like feathers scratched your shoes as you pulled yourself onto its back. You quickly adjusted your centre of gravity and let go of Hop and Marnie.

"Ready?" Hop asked, but he didn't wait for a response as Corviknight suddenly bolted into the air, leaving you to cling to Marnie desperately.

You screamed, clinging onto Marnie's jacket for dear life as the wind howled past you. You didn't want to open your eyes, you didn't want to be here, you just wanted to be safely on the ground.

After a few minutes, the wind seemed to become less intense, and it almost felt as though you had ground to a complete halt. You heard Hop's laughter, which you took as a sign that you could open your eyes.

You nervously cracked open one eye, seeing a world of endless blue. The air was so fresh, and when you peered up, the clouds looked so close you could almost touch them. 

You gained the courage to fully open your eyes, and your heart ceased to beat. Everything was so beautiful up here, the buildings and trees mere dots below you. It looked like a child's play set, the rivers and streams were nothing more than drops of water, the bushes and shrubs smaller than a single leaf. 

Most of all, you could see Pokemon, and lots of them. With this view of the wild area, you could see every field, every hill and stream, all crawling with hundreds of Pokemon. Just seeing it felt so calming, it took your mind off of the stresses that had been piling up.

It all seemed to be over so quickly, just as you were getting used to the feeling of being up so high, Corviknight was suddenly swooping down towards the ground. The impact of the landing heavily jostled the three of you, Hop nearly fell off from the disorientation.

There was silence for a few seconds, before Hop laughed again.

"See!? Wasn't that fun?" He turned back to face the two of you, grin plastered on his face. 

"I guess" you removed your hands from Marnie, who you had been clinging to the entire journey. Hop slid down the side of Corviknight, landing with his knees heavily bent to lessen the impact. 

"Couldn't we have just called a taxi?" Marnie asked, following after Hop and sliding down the side of the giant bird. 

"Yeah, but the view doesn't compare at all! You're missing out if you take a taxi everywhere" He patted the side of his feathery companion. "You should really fly on the back of a Pokemon more often" 

"I don't have a flying Pokemon though." You frowned, sliding down from the bird as Hop pulled a berry from his bag to reward his Pokemon with.

"What? You should really catch one, mate!" Corviknight took the berries from it's trainers hand. "Even Marnie has one" 

"1st off, I only use Noivern in emergencies. 2nd off, how did you even know about that? 3rd, I only have him because my bro wanted me to have a flying type and Raihan wouldn't shut up about how cool dragon types are" Marnie ranted.

"Okay, chill. I was just saying" Hop dismissed Marnie's grumpy remarks. "So you should definitely get one, A/N! Nothing beats that feeling of flying through the air on the back of a Pokemon." 

"I already have six Pokemon though" you absentmindedly stroked Corviknight's feathers. "Isn't it against the rules to carry more than six?"

"It's illegal to use more than six in a battle, there's no limit to how many you can carry around" Marnie corrected you. 

You didn't know that. You briefly wondered if that was common knowledge, or if Marnie really was just that smart. Most likely a bit of both.

"Okay, I'll consider it then." You continued to rub Corviknight's rough feathers, the texture reminded you a lot of steel wool. "Anyways, should we train for a bit? That's why we're here after all."

"Sure, I'm pretty sure we're near the lake of outrage, so this is a good spot to train in" Hop proclaimed, already rushing into a heavily wooded area, his Corviknight following behind. 

That boy really was full of energy.

At least he wasn't as hung up about Leon as he was earlier.

"Meet back here in about an hour!" He called, before immediately disappearing into the trees.

There wasn't much to do except train. The Pokemon around this area were strong, a lot stronger than you expected. A few Corvisquire, and the occasional boltund. Hatenna had quite a bit of trouble with them, which wasn't too surprising. The lake of outrage had some of the highest levelled Pokemon in the whole wild area, and Hatenna was quite a low level compared to the rest of your team.

It only took a single Corvisquire to send Hatenna flying, hitting a mound of dirt with a terrifying "thud". You instinctively reached for Mudsdale's Pokeball, realising that the Corvisquire looked to be around level 45, while Hatenna was barley over 30. 

Before you had a chance to throw the ball, Hatenna was on her feet. She let out a deafening cry before rushing straight for the bird. You closed your eyes in preparation for what you thought was about to ensue.

But Hatenna didn't cry out in pain, instead you heard the Corvisquire cry out, and when you opened your eyes you saw it fainted by the very pile of dirt that it threw Hatenna into.

"Good job!" You rushed over to congratulate your Pokemon, who was chirping happily.

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light. A very familiar light. A familiar light you recognised from Grookey, skitty, and Thwackey. The light that signalled an evolution.

You closed your eyes, and waited for the blinding light to fade. When it did, you took a fresh look at the newly-formed Pokemon in front of you. Your phone flew around it before you even had a chance to process her new form.

"Hattrem"

"This Pokemon is extremely sensitive to negative emotions. If it detects violent intent, it will silence you violently"

"Arceus" you thought "that's a bit.... violent...."

She purred happily, seeming content with her new form. You raised an eyebrow from curiosity,

"Do you.... still like me?" You asked tentatively. You took the happy jingles from Hattrem as a yes.

At least you weren't in immediate danger.

\---------------------------

Training was more fun than ever, not just because of the more difficult opponents, but because you finally got to involve Lapras and Mudsdale. The two of them never needed any training up until this point, they were still over-levelled from when your mother did the gym challenge, but now the opponents were getting harder, they could finally have a fair fight.

Another thing that added to the atmosphere was the occasional screaming that came from the forest. You recognised the voice as Hop, and you were sure that they were more screams of panic than actual danger. You heard the words "meowth" and "stop chasing me" screamed several times. Each time you heard it you secretly chucked to yourself.

Hattrem did a lot better with her new form. She had a lot more mobility, and her additional appendages allowed her to hit a lot harder. 

The hour was up before you knew it.

"A/N! A/N!" You heard Marnie call. 

"Where are you?" Hop looked around, spotting you as you rushed down the hill to where the other two were waiting. "Oh, there you are" 

You turned your feet sideways so you could slide down the hill instead of run. The mud got onto your shoes and into your socks, but you really didn't mind. You were more concerned with the additional member that Marnie and Hop were with.

"Victor?" 

"Hey, A/N" he smiled "I was just passing through, didn't expect to find you all here" 

"Me either! I was just getting chased by a Meowth when BAM!" Hop hit his hand with his fist for emphasis "A jolteon came out of nowhere, it took down the meowth like WHAM! Then Victor appeared and we talked for a bit" he panted, out of breath after his long-winded explanation.

"You should really be more careful" Victor half-scolded "what would your mum say if she knew her son was getting harassed by a level 10 Meowth"

You couldn't contain your laughter when you heard that, even Marnie looked amused. Hop, on the other hand, looked to Victor like a kicked yamper.

"I mean.... She's the one who let her 14 year old into the wild area full of deadly Pokemon" you attempted to defend Hop.

"Guess so. Who's idea was it to let a group of 14 year olds in the wild area anyways?" Victor asked.

"Whoever said that 14 year olds could do the gym challenge." Marnie stated bluntly "and I'll have you know that I'm almost 15" 

You looked to Victor's belt briefly, you saw 5 Pokeballs neatly sitting on it. One more than the last time you saw him. Which wasn't long ago.

"I mean, I really don't think my dad cares that much. He knows I'm being safe out here" Victor grabbed the third pokeball on his belt, inspecting it in the light. "What about your dad, Hop?"

"No idea" his face fell slightly "I've not seen him since..... well, ever. I mean, I probably saw him when I was really young, but I don't really remember"

This was a topic you never knew about. Even as Y/N, Hop never mentioned his dad, most likely for this exact reason. But hearing it now you could relate to it quite a bit.

"Same here, I've never met my dad. My mum never talked about him either..." you trailed off. "Guess we're kind of similar in that way, huh?"

"Guess so" Hop laughed, but you could tell it was fake.

Did his facade finally break? Did victor unknowingly trigger some painful memories? Or was it just memories from his dispute with Leon resurfacing?"

The truth was, it was a mixture of both. 

"Piers acts like my dad" Marnie broke the tension by saying. "He always worries about such little details, but at the same time doesn't care at all." She rolled her eyes "My brother is a mystery"

Victor smiled brightly, before throwing out the pokeball he had been holding in his hand.

A blazing light erupted from the ball, and Victor's jolteon landed gracefully on the ground. Sparks flew around her as she darted between everyone's legs.

"Everyone, this is jolteon." Victor introduced "she "saved" Hop from that Meowth"

"She's so pretty" Hop awed, kneeling down to pet her. 

"She's strong too" Victor rested his hands on his hips "anyways, that reminds me. I was originally going to make her into a Flareon, but I did some research, and turns out they are really hard to take care of." He swung his backpack around his body so he could reach his arm into it.

"Anyways, I still have the fire stone, and I know A/N has a growlithe, so......" he dug a beautiful orange gem from his bag, then shoved it into your hands "a gift, from me."

"Oh, uh..... thank you" you responded meekly, staring at the stone in your hands. It really was beautiful, and it shone all different hues of red, orange and yellow. Upon closer inspection, you saw a flame pattern embedded into the stone.

"It's no problem" Victor smiled.

You looked at the stone in your hands, the slight warmth from its core heated your hands up slightly, it was certainly pretty.

This would be a big change, but you were ready for it. You had already evolved Delcatty.

Everything had to change eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof- that was a long chapter eh?
> 
> I've been away somewhere with no WiFi for the last few days, so of course all I do is write and play swsh 
> 
> Anyways, I like the idea of Marnie having a mode of transportation that isn't flying taxis, and since I've been trying to catch a drampa I've been getting harassed by noivern. Seriously, I'm sick of them. They're fast and they're everywhere.
> 
> So yeah, I gave Marnie a noivern.
> 
> Also, the relationship between Leon and Hop is something I've wanted to write about for AGES, so now is the time.
> 
> Idk what Victor would have on his team, so far I have Jolteon and Intelleon and that's it......
> 
> Again, please tell me how the chapter lengths are. 
> 
> If you have any questions/suggestions feel free to message me on discord GirlInRed44#7341
> 
> Anyways, stay safe and I'll see you whenever I update next!


	36. Deceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter is delayed because my phone decided to just randomly stop working? Anyways, this chapter is slightly shorter than the last (that was a big boi chapter)
> 
> Annnnyways enjoy xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hop cusses near the end, just wanted to warn you. 
> 
> I've tried to avoid cussing as much as possible bcuz I know some people don't like it. I just felt it fit here and showed his anger.

Chapter 36  
Deceit 

Home

Home. Home. Home.

It was certainly a weird word to say out loud, especially after all that went down. You didn't even have your mother's contact anymore. It wasn't like she was going to use it.

The only things new to you upon entering the house was the distinct wave of sadness that washed over you. Everything else was the exact same as you left it, a complete mess with trinkets and open bags strewn across the floor.  
You had to focus. Hop and Victor were still in the wild area, but they could leave at any point.

Just get the tapes, and go.

You nimbly darted around the mess on the floor until you reached the sitting room. The drawer full of old CD's was covered in a thin film of dust.

You opened it gently, the dusty surface making your skin crawl. You skimmed over the boxes of the movies, they were all fairly old. You used to watch them when you were younger. Usually, Hop or Victor would have come over to watch them with you. You remembered how the three of you would curl up on the couch together, laughing at the funny characters and hugging each other with anticipation during the villain scenes.

That wasn't the case anymore, it stung a bit to recall the old times. The old times before you made the stupid mistake of becoming A/N.

No time to feel sorry for yourself, get back on track.

Hastily pushing aside the old cases, you found the stacks of VHS tapes. You could see an old bit of masking tape on the top one which acted like a label, the words "Battle with Milo" were scrawled on it. 

Perfect. 

You pulled out the stacked tapes, laying them out on the messy carpet and reading the small labels on the top. They weren't too dusty since they were stacked underneath all the other boxes, so it was easy to see they were extremely worn. As if they had been played hundreds of times, over and over again.

Each seemed to be a different battle that had been videotaped. The names made you assume it was the gym challenge, as the tapes read "battle with Milo"; "battle with Nessa"; "battle with Kabu"; etc. The only odd thing was, Raihan seemed to be missing.

Unfortunately, that was the main one you were looking for.

You gently slid the drawer shut, stuffing the tapes into your backpack before dashing up the staircase into your mother's bedroom. The familiar smell of her perfume assaulted your nose as you looked in one of the bedside drawers.

"The wardrobe, maybe?" You muttered to yourself, flinging the closet doors open.

You were greeted with the usual, jumpers and trousers. You didn't expect anything more from her wardrobe. She never seemed to wear anything else.

You looked through the clothes, separating them with your hands to see if there was anything at the back of the closet.

A medium, brown cardboard box. It stared back at you, as if it knew you weren't meant to see this.

You tried to ration with yourself. You needed that tape, but you also didn't want to look through anything you weren't supposed to.

"If she didn't want me to find it, she shouldn't have made it so easy to find" you spat, reaching for the box and pulling it out of the closet.

You jumped onto the bed and sat the box next to you, disregarding your conscience as you pulled the lid off, listening to the sounds of the smooth cardboard that slid against the box.

"Let's see" you mumbled as you carefully sat the lid on another part of the bed. You couldn't see anything inside the box except a mass of black fabric that bulged slightly. You wrapped your hands around it, pulling it up and watching as the fabric unravelled, revealing a beautiful black dress. 

It looked to be skintight at the top, strapless with a net-like fabric that flowed downwards to make the skirt. Small gold sequins adorned the skirt part, and it overall had a very elegant look to it. Nothing like anything your mum would ever wear.

"Jeez," you folded the dress and sat it on the floor "I had no idea you were a party animal."

The removal of the dress revealed the objects below it, and your eyes immediately locked into the tape labelled "battle with Raihan". You grabbed it and shoved it into your bag with the rest, slotting it right next to "battle with Piers".

That was all you needed, you could put the box back now.

But you had already come this far?

You looked at the remaining items. The mysterious purple pokeball with the letter "M" on it caught your eye. You had heard of a purple ball called a "Master ball" before, an extremely rare ball that could catch any Pokemon at all, no matter how powerful. You had seen the occasional news article about the production of them, and how only a very select few were allowed one. So why would your mother have one? 

It was probably just a fake, a fancy souvenir from one of her adventures, but might as well take it anyways. 

There looked to be only one more item, but when you felt it you realised it was blocking another item, so there had to be two left.

You pulled out the item obscuring the latter, it looked to be some kind of Valentine's Day card. You rolled your eyes at the sight, it was pink and decorated with enough glitter to singlehandedly cause the global environment to collapse. Despite how sappy and lovey-dovey it looked, you snuck a glance inside.

Typical Valentine's Day stuff, "I love you" and "you are my everything". Nothing particularly thought-provoking.

You managed to read the name at the bottom, amongst the sea of "x"'s. It seemed so familiar to you, but it was impossible to point out where you knew it from.

Discarding the card onto the bed, you turned to the box, the last item that you previously didn't notice now stared straight into your soul.

All of a sudden, you didn't feel so good.

A metal picture frame, decorated with fancy golden swirls and with a velvet back.

"No....." you whispered, clutching your hand over your mouth.

The picture in the frame was of two young adults, holding an Applin between them. The woman in the photo was smiling wider than you had ever seen someone smile. You saw the sheen of her lips, as though she had freshly applied gloss to them, and a black bow sat gently in her hair.

The dress she was wearing.....

It was the same dress that was folded at your feet.

Your mother.

So that means the man next to her was.......  
You looked at the man in the photo, at first glance he looked happy, golden eyes that twinkled in the light. He had hair very similar to yours, although his was a lot shorter. Yet when you looked at the photo a bit longer, his mouth was smiling, but his eyes were full of sadness, guilt, despair.

The printed woman beside him was still smiling, as though blissfully unaware of the feelings of the man she was happily holding an Applin with.

That man.... his features were so familiar. It was like you had seen them somewhere before, like a distant memory that your mind was repressing. No matter how hard you thought, your mind refused to make a link. You were left blankly staring at the framed photo, unable to take your eyes off of the man.

So that means.... the card? It was from him? 

The world suddenly began to close in on itself as you struggled to control your breathing.

Why did she never mention him?  
What did he do?  
Why did he look so sad?  
Did they love each other?

All of a sudden, you didn't trust your spine to keep yourself upright.

The room tilted, and you only remembered a shock of pain as you hit the floor, the faint sound of the picture frame landing on the carpet before everything went black.

\----------------------

You awoke to a bitter ache throughout your whole body. Your sunglasses had been completely knocked off from the force of the fall, and on closer inspection they looked to be broken.

You pulled yourself up with a grunt of pain, not before tripping on the bundle of fabric at your feet.

"What.... happened?" You asked yourself. 

Memories gradually returned, the card, the picture, the man, and then black.

Said picture frame was sitting at your side, taunting you.

You grumbled a few curses, before beginning to shove the various trinkets back into their box. Even the dress, which you had to re-fold as it had gotten crumpled from your trip.

When everything was packed, and the box was neatly sealed, one last thought entered your mind.

You slipped the entire box into your bag, it wasn't like anyone would miss it.

You always wanted answers, but now you were suddenly fine without them. You would rather live in a lie than face a grim truth.

\--------------------------

"Stupid..... stupid...... stupid"

Hop paced around the Hotel room in Circhester, fists curled into balls. 

At least Victor, A/N and Marnie had been nice enough to take his mind off of it for a bit, but now that he was alone, he could feel as frustrated as he wanted.

Victor had told him that Leon probably meant well, that maybe he was just telling him what he knew.  
Hop knew that wasn't true. Leon was dead to him.

"What kind of......" His thoughts were cut off by a ringing phone, enough to get him to walk over and read who was calling.

"Leon"

Hop knew he shouldn't have picked up, he knew he was going to say something he would regret, but he didn't care. He just wanted to yell at the stupid champion for once, he wanted to tell him everything that he thought about him.

"Hop? Hop! I'm so glad you picked up" the older brother sighed over the phone

"I'm not." Hop spat "Why should I want to talk to you?"

"Hop, please, I know we can talk about this" Leon pleaded "Just come back to Wyndon, we can talk for however long you want. Or even just send me your location, I'll come pick you u-l"

"No." Hop snarled "I'm not talking to a liar"

"Hop, I......" even over the phone, Hop can tell the older brother is probably rubbing his forehead "I didn't lie to you intentionally, I just-"

"Jumped to a conclusion? Huh?" Hop cut him off "Yeah, sure. You jumped to a conclusion and told me my best friend was dead. I totally believe that."

"Please listen to me-"

"Why should I!" Hop yelled down the phone "You thought it would be a right laugh to see me in pain, so you hurt me in the worst way possible. What other explanation is there?"

"I would explain if you just let me speak!" Leon sighed in exasperation. 

"No. You've had your chance." Hop glared at the phone in his hand "You chose to tell me my friend was dead, and now you're mad because your actions have consequences" Hop laughed bitterly "and I thought you were meant to be the adult here"

"Goddamit, Hop! Will you please just let me talk!" Hop heard the faint sound of a charizard's roar over the line.

"Talk about what? How you stabbed me in the back? How you decided to twist my best friend since childhood going missing into something you KNEW I would be distraught over? Did you really just want to rub salt in the wound?" Hop found his eyes began to fog with tears the more he talked. "I hate you, and I'm not just going to pretend all this didn't happen just because you decided to apologise"

"I didn't know anything at the time! I just went off of what A/N told me and that's what I told you" Leon tried to explain, Hop refused to listen. 

"Oh yeah, pin this all on someone else. It's not your fault. It's never your fault, is it?" Hop let the tears roll down his face, but continued to yell. "You're the perfect champion that everyone admires, you never make mistakes. It's always somebody else's fault."

"That's not what I'm saying-"

"Oh sure. Deny it all you want. Pretend you're just like any other trainer." Hop didn't stop to catch his breath, continuing to talk "Pretend that your little brother wasn't crying his eyes out in a hotel bathroom because of something you did." He finally stopped to catch his breath "I'm done with this, Lee."

"Hop, please don't do this. We can just talk about this. Brothers always make up in the end, right?"

"I'm not your brother" the boy growled "I'm just your shadow, something for you to blame whenever you make a mistake. It's no wonder they call you perfect, because whenever you do mess up, it's my fault" 

"What are you even saying? Are you listening to yourself right now?"

"Loud and clear" he replied dryly "let's say it was a mistake. Let's say you did mess up. Even if that was true, when did you apologise? When did you admit that you messed up? When did you say sorry for letting me be a crying mess over something that wasn't even true!" His tone was sickeningly smug, similar to what Bede sounded like. "Oh yeah, you didn't apologise at all"

Leon sounded like he was about to speak but Hop cut him off. "So, either you did make a mistake and you refuse to apologise despite knowing full well how much it hurt me. Or you made up a story just to see me suffer. I don't know about you, but the second one sounds a lot more likely, doesn't it?"

"Please...... just come to Wyndon and we can talk this out"

"You've said that before, and the answer is still no." Hop prepared to press the end call button. "I'm not living in your shadow anymore. I refuse to look up to you when you treat me like dirt. Just because you're the favourite child doesn't mean I'm just going to let you sit by and blame me for everything"

"Favourite child? You know that isn't true!"

"For Arceus sake, open your fucking eyes, Lee!" Hop surprised himself at the curse but kept going nonetheless "have you ever seen the foyer? Anyone who comes in would think you're an only child!"

There was a long, long silence. The only thing audible was the ticking of the clock in Hop's hotel room.

"Hop-"

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Leon."

With that, he pressed the little red button, and his rotom phone fell back down to the table.

He crawled over to the bed, curling up in the blankets like he did as a child. He didn't know what to do, everything was so confusing. He didn't even know who he could trust anymore.

He simply lay there, and let his tears pour onto the bedsheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo! Emotions!
> 
> Anyways, foreshadowing and character development, my two favourite things. So naturally I put them in this chapter 
> 
> Any questions/suggestions feel free to comment/msg me on discord


	37. Is it unfixable?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been playing crown tundra, because I was FINALLY able to afford the dlc (even though isle of Armor came out months ago) I am in love with Peony, I'll probably not include him here but I just want y'all to know what I've been up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have been WILD for me recently, my upload and writing schedule is all out of whack but I'm trying to get back into a routine. Next chapter is the battle in Circhester gym (with Gordie and melony) then we are at Spikemuth (fr this time)

Chapter 37  
Is it Unfixable?

You were stupid for thinking you were getting better.

You were stupid for thinking those feelings would go away.

You were stupid for thinking you could do this.

The lights in the hotel room illuminated the bag sitting on the table, you were sprawled out across the bed. The scratchy fabric of the bedsheets that irritated your skin didn't phase you. The distinct bite of cold in the air didn't phase you. All you felt was pain, confusion and guilt.  
Crushing, debilitating guilt.

Hop, the boy that worshiped Leon like a god, the boy that always talked about him like he was everything to him, the boy that always told you how he was the best brother ever. He hated him now, and it was all your fault.

You didn't even feel like crying. You had cried enough. All you ever did was cry. 

Why? 

Why did you do this?

Was it worth it?

Sure. You managed to do the gym challenge, or at least do part of it, but was it a worth the consequences? You tore a bond between brothers apart. You lied to everyone. You made everyone worry about someone like you. 

How could you keep going? Why should you keep going? Just to lie more? Just to backstab more people? How could you be that selfish?

You had to quit. The pain wasn't worth it. 

Even if you did complete the challenge, what would happen then? You would go against Leon, then lose. You'd be humiliated in front of the whole region. Why should you keep going for that? 

Being champion didn't appeal to you either, the thought of all those cameras always crowding around you like moths to a flame. Just the thought made you claustrophobic.

So you had to quit. 

But what would happen after that?

You couldn't go back to Y/N, not even the best liar in the world could come up with a good enough alibi. You had to stay as A/N. But then what? After the gym challenge, what was there to do? Float around and do nothing? 

You were selfish. Nothing more than a selfish girl that abandoned everything and caused everyone so much pain, just to do something she wanted.

You had caused everyone so much suffering, everyone was affected by your selfishness.

Everything would be so much easier if you could just disappear.

When the gym challenge is ended, A/N would disappear, Y/N would disappear.

You would disappear.

On second thought, maybe you should continue the gym challenge. You should savour the feeling of being here. Of being happy on the pitch. You should savour the the limited happy memories you could make.

\----------------------

At least the snow felt nice. 

It was early morning, the next day. You didn't sleep at all that night. How could you sleep in a time like this? How could you sleep when you knew how awful a person you were.

The snow gently fluttered onto the streets, piling up in the corners and crunching beneath your feet at you walked.

You didn't really have a destination in mind, but walking felt nice.

You stuck your hands in the pockets of your hoodie. It was still a bit damp from the lake, and that combined with the cold weather made your whole body shiver. You were used to this outfit now. The (new) sunglasses no longer felt as though they were poking at your ears, and the elastic straps of your mask didn't feel as though they were pulling your ears off of your face. You had also gotten used to applying the hair chalk each morning, what was once a chore was now a comforting routine, and the twin tails didn't feel like they were pulling the hair from your scalp anymore.

The light of the rising sun spilled over the snow on the ground, making it shimmer as though glitter had been sprinkled on the pristine snow. It was remarkably lacking in footprints, most likely due to the lack of people at this early hour. Not even the early-morning starly had crowed yet.

You stopped in front of the Circhester gym. The dawn sun reflected off the dome-shaped stadium. It sparkled and glimmered in the light, looking like a Christmas decoration plucked straight from a tree. It was mesmerising. Even the steps up to the building looked pretty.

"Like it?"

You almost jumped out of your skin at the sound of the voice behind you, you quickly whipped around, hands grasping a random pokeball in preparation for the worst. 

But it never came, instead you came face-to-face with an older woman in a white winter coat, she chuckled gently at your shock and you pocketed the ball. You recognised her face instantly, she was one of the gym leaders that stood next to Raihan during the opening ceremony, along with a slightly younger man, but he didn't appear to be here.

"Sorry if I scared you" Melony chuckled, resting her hands on her hips. Snow continued to fall, a few flakes landed on your glasses, melting and causing them to fog up. You tried to ignore this and kept focus on Melony, you just hoped she would point out how strange it was to be wearing sunglasses in the snow. Especially this early in the morning when the sun had barley risen.

"It's no problem" you muttered, double checking to make sure the pokeball was securely in your pocket. "You're Melony, right?"

"Haha, yes! That's me, the ice type gym leader here in Circhester." Her smile was warm, inviting almost. She certainly gave off a very motherly vibe. Well, she hadn't said anything about the sunglasses, or the mask yet, so that made you like her a little bit more. "You're A/N, I've heard a lot about you in the news recently."

The news? What have they been saying? Have they said anything bad? They probably said stuff like "oh, that A/N is horrible at battling" "remember when she lost to kabu" "why does she even bother doing the gym challenge" "she's the worst challenger this region has ever seen".

Why was it every time you wanted to try enjoy something, you were reminded of something that sent your anxiety off the deep end?

Why couldn't you just be normal?

"Ahh... what have they been saying?" You inquired, scratching at your hands, a nervous tic you had developed recently. 

"Just about how we've never had a challenger like you before. They say you're pretty good, and from what I've seen, I have to agree." She ruffled your hair gently, pulling some loose from your twin tails "it's a shame Im not battling this year, I would have loved to fight you."

"I... guess so" the thought of battling again.... it made you shudder. Just when you thought you were getting better, you had to go screw it all up, you had to throw a wrench into the works and hurt everyone in the worst way possible.

You didn't deserve to be in front of a crowd, you didn't deserve to be a trainer at all.

"So what brings you here this early? Most trainers get up whenever they feel like it, or if they do get up early, it's to take care of Pokemon. You don't see many people outside at this time"

You really didn't want to admit it was because of your self doubt. You didn't want to admit it was because of your own insomnia.

"I don't know.... I guess I just wake up early, huh?" You smiled to yourself, looking into the sunrise that streaked across the sky, giving the frosty air a feeling of warmth, however contradictory it was.

"What about you? Why are you up so early?" You looked over to Melony, who was fiddling with an ultra ball.

"Oh? I'm always up this early." She looked away from the gym, looking at the sunrise with a blissful look "I love watching the sun in the morning, I find it therapeutic, like the sun rising represents all the mistakes from yesterday being thrown away" she laughed to herself "I bet that sounds dumb doesn't it? Don't listen to old ladies like me"

"No, it's alright" you looked towards the sunrise as well, taking in the beauty of the golden hue spreading across the sky "I think it looks nice too"

"Think so?" She said, but her tone said she wasn't looking for an answer. The two of you just watched the sun rise for a while, letting the thoughts from yesterday flood your head.

So many mistakes. You hurt him so much. you did something unforgivable, and you can never go back. Not even an apology would suffice.

You never realised how deep you had gotten yourself. When you started being A/N, you never imagined that you would completely give up your identity for it. You thought it would be a nice escape from reality for a while, then you could just ditch the mask after the gym challenge, and everything would go back to normal.

Why couldn't it have gone like that?

"Hey, Melony?" 

"Hm?"

"How do you apologise to someone, without actually saying what your apologising for?" You asked sheepishly. It was a dumb thing to ask, especially to someone you had just met, but it couldn't be more dumb than any of the decisions you had made up to this point.

You just wanted to set things right, even if it was just a little. You needed to clear your conscience a bit, even slightly. You didn't want the gym challenge to end this way, with you full of regrets from all your stupid mistakes. Melony was an adult, and adults should know how to solve things. Right?

"Well, there's lots of ways to apologise to someone" she thoughtfully traced a finger around the railing of the steps, leaning her body against it as she looked away, deep in thought. "But the best way is the tried and true way of just going up to someone and admitting you messed up. It's the easiest way"

You shook your head "I can't do that, he doesn't know what I'm apologising for, and I don't want him to find out. I just want him to know I'm sorry, so he won't be too mad if he does"

There was silence after that 

Snow continued to fall, and the sun rose higher in the sky with each passing second of silence.

Eventually, the silence was broken by Melony's soft voice "If you can't just go up to someone and apologise, why not write them a letter? That way you don't have to sign it, and your free to pour out everything on your mind."

That sounded like a good idea, you could write Hop a letter as Y/N, maybe pour out some of your fears, some of your worries without giving away your secret. He would also realise how sorry you were. 

"That's a good idea. I might do that" you considered out loud. "Thanks Melony" 

"No problem dear, I'm always happy to help" her warm smile was contagious, and you found yourself smiling from beneath your mask without even meaning to.

"Oh! I had an idea!" Melony peeled up suddenly, clasping her hands together "why don't the two of us have a battle, right now. I'll get to battle you, and maybe it will help take your mind off of things for a while"

"Ummm... I'm not sure... is this allowed?"

"It is now! Come on! It'll be fun" you could see how excited she got over battling, her body language was completely different, she looked and sounded more like Hop's age than an older woman.

"Uhh, sure! Just battle out here then?"

"No, silly" she half-scolded "we can use the pitch inside, it's empty right now. This will also be a great chance for you to meet my son." 

Before you knew it, she had grabbed your arm and was dragging you up the steps, straight into the gym.

Well, this was going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, I've been writing this for a while haven't I? Anyways, I'm having fun and I hope y'all enjoy reading it. Any suggestions/questions I am completely open to xxx
> 
> (I am trying my best to correct any grammatical errors, but some slip through and I read them after I've already published the chapter and cry)


	38. Shattered Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2100 READS?!?!?! Omg I cannot thank you enough. I don't know why people enjoy my awful writing but I'm glad you do ❤️❤️❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this chapter was the gym battle, but I forgot that I needed this to happen beforehand so sorry about that. Slightly shorter chapter this time around but hope y'all enjoy anyways

Chapter 38  
Shattered Ice

"Hop,

I'm sorry. I really don't know how else to say it. I've messed up so badly, and I don't expect to even be forgiven but I just want you to know that I do have a conscience. I want you to know that even though I did everything of my own volition, I still regret my actions.

All I've done since I started the gym challenge is hurt people. I hurt people again and again. I act selfishly because I don't know how else to get things to go my way. It feels like everything is always against me, hell, I'm always against myself. I just want you to know that it wasn't my intention to hurt you.

I know this might be confusing, but it will make sense in the end. Eventually, after the gym challenge is over, this letter will make a lot more sense. 

So I'm sorry, I know you and Leon aren't on good terms right now, and I fully know that it's my own fault. So please don't be too mad at Leon, okay? If you are, that's understandable, but please know that it wasn't his fault. It was mine.

I wrote this letter because I needed to get this off my chest. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if you just ripped it up right now, or threw it in the bin, or fed it to a garbador. I would have done that if I was in your shoes. 

I don't know why you used to forgive me when I messed up, but please don't do that this time. I don't deserve it. I don't even know why you hang out with a disappointment like me. Please, just don't bother from now on. I'm sure Victor or Marnie would be glad to see you more.

So that's all I have to say. Please stay strong for me, okay? I don't want to hear you doubt yourself, ever. I never want to hear you say any of this was your fault, I'd never forgive you if you did. 

Please try to hear what Leon wants to say, I'm sure he isn't as bad as you make him out to be.

Take care.  
A/N

Ps: I want to see you in the finals, you'll make a great champion."

"Huh?"

Hop held the crumpled letter in his hands, his Corviknight rubbed his sodden steely feathers against him, wanting affection as a reward for retrieving the letter despite the harsh rain that lashed outside.

The envelope was a sodden mess, he had already tossed it in the bin along with several sweet wrappers. Thankfully the letter inside was mostly dry, thanks to a small plastic coating on the inside of the envelope. His Cinderace rummaged around in the trash as he read the letter out loud.

"Sorry about what?" He mumbled, finishing the letter and setting it down on the glossy bedside table. His cinderace suddenly perked up from the bin, running over to comfort his trainer who looked down at his clasped hands, deep in thought. Cinderace jumped onto the bed beside Hop, tilting his head, his trainer seemed to be sad, but it was hard to tell.

The purple haired boy noticed the enthusiastic rabbit beside him, and chuckled with a soft smile. At least his Pokemon wouldn't be cryptic, it was easy to tell what they wanted. 

"At least I have you, Eh, Sparky?" He gently rubbed the head of his fiery companion, the dark bird complained at the inequality by growling slightly, forcing his way over to the two so that Hop could easily rub the feathers on his head. "You too, Blitz"

Blitz, now content with the affection, went over to his pokeball and pressed the button in the centre with his rough beak. The action caused him to vanish in a quick flash of red light.

The letter, what on earth did it mean? How was A/N responsible for anything that happened? 

She had never even met Leon, right? She would have told him if she did. 

So then how was anything her fault? What wasn't she telling him? Why did no one care to explain anything to him anymore?

Why couldn't people just talk to him, face to face. Why did they have to lie and hide behind cryptic messages and random clues. How hard could it be to just talk to him, it's not like he was particularly intimidating.

It was all just another of many unanswered questions.

\-------------------

"You should really talk to the boy, Lee" 

Raihan leaned off of his couch. His skinny legs wrapped around the armrest, like what a rambunctious child would do. Leon thought that it looked quite uncomfortable, but if Raihan chose to sit that way then he must be wrong.

Raihan's place was always like a sanctuary for him, he could drop over when he felt like it, or whenever he was in the area. The dragon tamer never seemed to mind these visits, leading to an unspoken rule between the two that it was safe to come over whenever necessary.

Leon found himself coming over to Raihan's a lot more frequently nowadays, Rose had imposed much tighter restrictions on what he was and wasn't allowed to do, which certainly took a toll on the man. Often he would just swing by Raihan's straight after a meeting with Rose, ready to rant on and on about how things kept changing. The taller man would always listen, and provide support whenever necessary.

Leon had barley left Raihan's house the past few days, he felt so frustrated. He didn't know what to do, what to say, or what he should try. Hop clearly didn't want to talk, so he shouldn't force him to, but if he didn't, then things would never get sorted out.

He had told Raihan about all of this, about how unfair it felt. Leon hadn't believed he had done anything wrong, but after hearing his brother on the phone he began to doubt himself. Should he have acted differently? He only wanted the best for his brother, after all, but maybe he should have taken his time, done things a bit differently. 

Raihan reassured him that it wasn't his fault multiple times, but Leon was suspicious that he was only saying that to make him feel better, not out of honesty.

He couldn't shake the guilt that settled on his shoulders.

"I've tried, Rai." He sighed deeply, resting his chin upon his interlocked fingers. "He just doesn't want to hear it. To be honest, I wouldn't either." Raihan stopped scrolling on his phone, setting it down beside his head.

"You really scared the kid, I don't blame him for not wanting to talk." His legs began to slip from the couch, and he let them fall, returning to an almost acceptable position. "Still, he'll forgive you eventually, you're his family after all."

"That doesn't mean anything." Leon stated, surprisingly blunt. "Being family doesn't change what happened. Hop knows that, I know that, Mum knows that." Leon lifted his head from his hands, going over to sit on the couch next to Raihan. The firm leather felt smooth against his body, and he briefly wondered how much money Raihan had if he could afford this kind of couch.

"Family usually means something." Raihan pondered, absentmindedly drumming his fingers against the leather. "I don't think you've fallen out forever. He's probably just a little miffed, all brothers fall out sometimes. It's just one of the joys of having siblings"

"You don't get it." The champion left it at that, he wasn't going to explain this to Raihan. This wasn't some small quarrel, Leon messed up badly, and now he had to face the consequences. 

Family. Raihan didn't know what he was talking about. Family certainly didn't mean a lot to Leon, maybe it meant more to Hop, he didn't know. Families were easily broken, like a thin sheet of ice on a hot day. The slightest quarrel or misunderstanding could cause an unrepairable crack. Then everyone else is forced to face the consequences, walk over the shards of broken glass like they weren't there at all. 

Hop had been too young to remember it, but Leon did. The shouting that persisted late into the night, the sounds of plates smashing on the floor, the slamming of doors and the sounds of his own crying. He used to lay awake for hours after the noise had stopped, his gentle sobs the only noise in the house.  
He wasn't at all surprised when his dad suddenly disappeared, as though he was never there at all. His mum acted like he had never been there at all, but Leon remembered. Leon remembered the broken shards of glass he found in the corners of the kitchen in the mornings. He remembered the broken hinges on the doors. 

Family didn't mean anything to him anymore. Family could easily be broken.

"You alright buddy? You're spacing out again." Raihan asked, waving a hand in front of Leon concernedly. Leon flashed a fake smile to soothe him.

"I'll be ok." He leaned back on the couch, studying the ceiling and all the bumps and imperfections in the paint. "I guess I should start with an apology, huh?"

"That's a good place to start"

\-------------------

"Congrats!"

Melony recalled her fainted Lapras, waking over to you as you rewarded your own Lapras with a hug.

"That was a great battle! You'll be able to take on my son no problem" Melony stroked the nose of your Lapras, earning an appreciative cry from the Pokemon. Melony chuckled slightly.

Melony hadn't been an easy opponent, by any means. Growlithe, Delcatty and Hattrem had all fainted during the battle, with Mudsdale on low HP. You knew you made a lot of mistakes in that battle. You could have used growlithe's speed a lot more effectively, and Mudsdale seemed a bit sluggish, you should have warned him that you were going to be battling before you started the fight.

"A-Ah, thanks Melony!" You aided her in stroking Lapras "Your Lapras is really something special"

"I know! It is, isn't it! I got her from this Raid that I did with my son when he was still just your age. She has a lot of battle experience, can take a lot of hits too. But do you want to know the best part?" Her eyes lit up with passion as she talked, as though Pokemon were her life. This was a thing you noticed in all gym leaders, but Melony took it to the extreme.

"It's a Gigantamax?" You guessed

"Spot on! I got her from a Max raid, you can tell by the subtle swirl on her shell." She began inspecting the shell of your lapras "it's a lot more obvious when Dynamaxed, but it's still there normally. See how your Lapras doesn't have......"

She trailed off, running her finger along the grey shell. She seemed to be deep in thought, her lips parted slightly as she inspected the shell even more closley. Her eyes looked confused for a moment, before the sparkle promptly returned as though something just clicked, although this time the shine was even more prominent.

"A/N! You didn't tell me your Lapras was a Gigantamax one too!"

"HUH?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O: plot twist.
> 
> Also, I like the Idea of Hop nicknaming his Pokemon. If you have any suggestions for what his names would be, I'd love to hear them.
> 
> Also, what did y'all choose for your alternate name? I always just read it as A/N, but I'm curious.
> 
> Stay hydrated xx


	39. Forgotten memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow! 70 kudos? You are all waaaaay too nice.   
> Anyways, happy 1 year SWSH! 
> 
> This chapter is late because I've had a lot going on, a family member is in hospital because of COVID, so I've had that on my mind the whole time. 
> 
> Anyways, enough about me. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moderate length this time! I think this is the length of chapter that I like the most so I'm gonna stick to 2,500 - 3,000 words per chapter

Chapter 39  
Forgotten Memory

You thought that Allister's trial was bad.

Upon entering the challenge room after changing, you had a set of metal rods shoved into your hands, and told to step forward with very little elaboration. Thankfully, you had seen the videos you found in your house, you knew what to expect.   
Some challengers may have called it cheating, but you called it a.... tactical analysis. Either way, it was important for you to not get water on your hair or mask, you couldn't risk the hair chalk washing out, or the mask coming off from the shock of hitting the water. So watching the videos wasn't cheating in your eyes. 

Alright, the path should be the same as it was in the videos.

You took a cautious step forwards, listening for any beeping from the rods in your hands. They stayed silent, so you pressed forwards.

Right, forwards, forwards, left, left, forwards, right.

Everything seemed to be going alright, but you were very aware of the cameras on the walls that tracked your every step, most likely broadcasting your exploits to everyone's Tv. You hadn't seen any cameras in any challenge up to this point, so you assumed that it was because of how close it was to the end.

Forwards, forwards, left.

The ice stayed solid beneath your feet, and the cold bite to the air stayed consistent.

The cold air. It felt so familiar.....

\----------------------------

"Come on! We have to go and get that wooloo!"

You trudged behind Hop, Skitty curled up in your arms. You could hear Victor behind you, berating Hop for rushing into the Slumbering Weald and not listening to his advice to just stay out until Sonia came.

"I'm telling you! She won't get here in time" Hop allowed his only Pokemon, his wooloo, to clear the fallen branches by rolling into them full force. "That wooloo could be anywhere by now, we can't just wait for an adult to solve all our problems."

Victor groaned behind you, and you buried your face into skitty.

The thin fog that swirled around you seemed a lot colder than it looked. It was only a few seconds before huge shivers began to wrack your body. It didn't help that you had completely forgotten to bring a coat, or literally anything to keep you warm. At least Hop had his jacket, and Victor had his coat.

"Arceus sake." Victor grumbled "It's not like this place was fenced off for a reason or anything" 

"Quit whining, we've gotta find it and get out of here before someone notices we're gone" Hop briefly stopped to look back at Victor, and allow the two of you to catch up to him. Hop was unusually fast, even for someone his age. 

"I'm sure your dad wouldn't be very happy if he found you out here" Hop teased Victor, smirking as he walked beside him. His comment earned a growl and a hard push from the older boy.

"And I'm sure your mum wouldn't be happy to hear that you practically dragged the two of us here" Victor spat back.

Hop grinned as he rubbed his arm, nursing it from Victor's push. "Well, you're no fun" 

"I kinda agree with Victor here......." you mumbled, more to yourself than anything but your friends both heard it nonetheless.

"You're no fun either!" Hop whined, he turned his head away in defeat as Victor wore a smug smile on his face.

"Well, we've already come this far, might as well see your stupid plan through to the end" The brown haired boy comfortingly rubbed Hop's shoulder, which quickly turned the purple haired boys's scowl into its usual wide grin.

The walk continued, the boys exchanged chatter the whole way, as you eagerly listened in. What you liked about them was that they didn't force you to talk, they didn't force you into conversations and were more than happy to just let you listen. 

Soon the fog got thicker, and the cold only got worse, even skitty felt cold, as she nuzzled up into your arms for warmth.

"G-guys, maybe we should turn back?" You shivered, rubbing your arms for warmth while being careful not to drop skitty.

"We've already come this far, haven't we?" Hop reassured. "We might as well go the whole way"

You weren't one to argue, so you went along with them, you went along with them until the fog got thicker and thicker.

\-------------------

You continued forwards, the rods still in your hands. So far they hadn't buzzed a single time, and you had successfully gotten to the second stage without falling in a single time.

Just this one path, then one more.

The fog was even thicker this time around, as you stepped into the white abyss you briefly wondered if the people in charge had forgotten to turn the fog down. You could still see, but it wasn't ideal at all.

The cold only got worse as you went through, but you tried your best not to think about that.

Forward, forward, right, right, right, forward, 

Wasn't Gordie running the gym this year? Shouldn't it be a sandstorm instead of fog?

Left, forward, forward, right.

Why did your memory keep slipping? You couldn't afford to forget the order now! 

It felt like there was something that wouldn't leave you alone, a memory that surfaced more and more as you trudged forwards.

Just keep focused on the challenge, forward, forward, left......

\-------------

"This fog is mad! I can barley see my own hand in front of my face!" Hop complained.

"Who was the one who told you this was a terrible idea?" Victor scolded, causing Hop to roll his eyes again.

"Ok, Mum! No need to rub it in" he whimpered. 

The fog was so thick, it felt suffocating. Even though it was just as thin as regular air, it felt as though it was unimaginably heavy, making it hard to breathe.

There was silence for a while, the only sound being the tall grass that rustled beneath your feet. It felt as though the earth itself had gone silent, the normal sounds of Pokemon rustling about were nonexistent. Not even the trees rustled in the breeze. 

More silence, more walking.

Then a scream.

"Hop?" You rushed towards the sound, seeing a huge Pokemon looming over Hop. It looked like two rough balls that had been partially joined together, with a huge chimney-like growth protruding from the top. Hop grabbed his only pokeball, ordering his wooloo to attack.

You already knew how this would end. The Pokemon looked to be around level 56, and wooloo was little more than a fly in comparison. The attack bounced feebly off the Pokemon.

Victor jumped into action as the Pokemon knocked out Hop's wooloo with one swift hit. His eevee quickly jumped from it's ball, ready for action.

You knew this wouldn't end well either, despite his battling ability, there was too much of a level difference to do anything. Eevee landed a quick attack, and was able to dodge the opposing Pokemon's attempts. Yet you knew it wouldn't last long, not even Mudsdale would have been able to one-shot it.

There wasn't much you could do, you just stood there, helpless as the Pokemon closed in on the eevee.

\--------------

That memory again? Why did it keep surfacing, what on earth did it mean?

Forward, left, forward..... and done!

That was the second stage down, only one to go.

The final stage was the worst. You couldn't see a single thing, and it was impossible to know what direction you were facing at any given time. You couldn't see a meter in front of you, let alone the exit at the end of the challenge.

Ok, just stay calm.

Forwards, left, le-

\-------------

You reached into your bag and pulled an empty pokeball, throwing it at the Pokemon as hard as you could. It hit the Pokemon and sucked it in with a flash of red light. 

"It's not going to stay in, just run!" You yelled at the other two, pulling Hop up onto his feet, pressing a revive into his hands and sprinting away from the pokeball on the ground, which shook violently.

It wasn't long before the three of you were sprinting away from the Pokeball. You didn't know if the Pokemon broke out or not, and you didn't care to find out.

"W-what even was that?" Hop panted

" G-Galarian Wheezing. I-I think." Victor replied as he ran. "Maybe it wasn't the best idea to come here when you don't even have a Pokédex yet!"

"How many times are you going to bring that up?"

\---------------

What was happening? Why couldn't you focus?

And what direction were you supposed to be going now?

Okay... you need to stay calm.

But you still couldn't see.

"W-what's that?" Hop asked, looking forwards into the fog.

Sure enough, there were two giant canine-like Pokemon in front of you, one red and one blue.

"Oh Arceus...." Victor said "I think now is a good time to run"

Wait? Why were Hop and Victor here? 

Why were the figures there?

Where were you? Were you still in the gym challenge room? Then why were Hop and Victor there? Why was it so cold?

Were you dreaming? Were you hallucinating?

The fog suddenly felt a lot heavier. It felt more like smoke, clogging your lungs so you couldn't breathe. You didn't know what was happening anymore.

You couldn't see  
You couldn't move  
You could only faintly hear Hop and Victor's voices, unsure if they were in your head or not.  
You couldn't breathe

You tried to compose yourself, you tried to calm down, but nothing worked.

You took a step forward, and the ground beneath your feet suddenly felt a lot thinner.  
The ice beneath you collapsed, and you fell into the black, icy water beneath you.

\-------------------

The red Pokemon stood in front of Hop, the blue one in front of Victor. You stood between them, feeling out of place and conflicted. Both Hop and Victor tried to attack the Pokemon, but their attacks simply passed through the canines, as though they were nothing but air.

Both Pokemon let out a deafening howl, and you covered your ears as more fog erupted from both Pokemon.

What could you do? You felt frozen, like you couldn't step in even if you wanted to. The Pokemon chose to fight Hop and Victor, they chose to ignore you.

This wasn't your place.

"Y/N! Run back and get help!" Victor called.

You county do anything, even as the dogs howled again you felt frozen. 

Everything was a blur from then onwards, but you did remember closing your eyes, and hugging skitty as hard as you could. You just wished it could be over.

When you opened your eyes again both Hop and Victor were unconscious on the ground. The Pokemon were gone.

You were so alone.

\--------------------

You woke up in a room with white walls and a white ceiling, several league staff huddled around you, and you felt a mask on your face. Not the kind of mask you were used to, a rubbery black one that was connected to some kind of machine.

"She's coming around, thank Arceus" one of them spoke, looking at your slightly-open eyes.

"Mmmph, what happened?" You asked, some of the staff looked visibly uncomfortable, but you wanted to know if you had said anything weird before you passed out. The details were a complete blur.

"You... uhhh.... passed out when you fell." One of the female staff explained "we had to stop the cameras, then pull you out. Thankfully it wasn't a live broadcast." 

Oh well, that could have gone way worse.

"We were worried that you wouldn't wake up." Another member of staff said "The attorneys would be all over us if you didn't, so I'm glad you did"

Wow. 

"Can I go now?" You asked, you didn't see why not. You felt alright, minus a splitting headache, but that could be ignored.

"Well, the doctor checked you over and you don't have too many injuries" one of the staff pondered "I think so, but please.... don't mention this to the media... please?"

You smiled and nodded, the staff member gave a thumbs up.

"Oh, also, Gordie wanted to talk to you, he was really worried"

As if on cue, there was a quiet knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Someone asked from beyond it.

You quickly ripped off the oxygen mask and pulled your regular one out of your pocket, it was still soaking but you didn't care.

"Sure!" You answered.

The door opened, and Gordie walked in, his gym leader uniform still on. The league staff began to file out of the door as he sat on a chair next to your bed. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked

"Better." You sat up from the bed, walking around the room to cure the numbness in your legs.

"Look, I'm sorry. This has never happened during my trail, ever." He raked a hand through his hair "I feel really bad about it, and Mum hasn't stopped yelling at me for the last half hour"

You giggled slightly, walking over to sit on the bed again. Gordie continued.

"I know it probably doesn't make up for it, but I'm going to give you the gym badge anyways. I think it's safe to say that you've earned it."  
You were confused at that, and a bit disappointed. "But, isn't that against the rules?" 

"Normally, yes. But this is an exception." He explained, resting his hands on his fingers. "You got hurt, and I don't think the league would be happy if I made you do the trial again. Also, mum mentioned how you beat her in a battle before you went into the gym, so it's allowed"

You felt slightly dissatisfied at this "but, can I still battle you? Just for fun?" 

Gordie chuckled "I don't see why not. But it has to wait for a while. My gym has been shut down for a whole week. Health and safety inspection. I've also got a lot of paperwork to deal with." He sighed. "So, all gym challengers are allowed to skip this gym, Its going to cause a ruckus in the news, but it's the only way for it to continue."

"Ah...." you bit your lip, feeling guilty that you just denied a lot of challengers the chance to battle their idol. "Well, I guess it can't be helped"

"Guess not." Gordie smiled sadly. "Well, here, take this. You're gonna need it." 

He pressed a small badge into your hand, which you quickly slotted onto your badge holder.

Hey, it wasn't the most honourable victory, but you would take what you could get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that wasn't too hard to follow. I wanted to make it clear that the reader was blurring the lines between reality and memory, so I hope that Hop and Victor suddenly appearing in the gym challenge room didn't completely confuse anyone. 
> 
> Also, just realised that I completely forgot to include Sonia in this story at all, i honestly don't know if I want to since I don't have anything planned for her, but what do you think? Would you like to see some Sonia?


	40. Useless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to be more frequent with the chapter updates, since I want to finish this fic before 3960. Anyways, hope this chapter is adequate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha writers block go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (Seriously, I have so many ideas but I have no clue what to write)

Chapter 40  
Useless

"A/N! What happened?"

You had been allowed out from the gym, the sun almost fully overhead. The snowflakes that gently fluttered to the ground weren't as fast as in the morning, and the fully-risen sun shone behind them, giving a wonderful golden glow. As though flakes of gold leaf were falling from the sky.

You looked up to see Marnie walking towards you, a different jacket to her usual designer black one. This one looked warmer, with a lining of wooloo wool on the inside. It looked very similar to what Hop wore. 

You started to wish you had dressed better for the occasion, even the baggy hoodie couldn't shake the harsh cold. The dampness only made it worse.

"Hey Marnie" you smiled "Nothing much, just some drama with Gordie's challenge is all" Marnie looked at you questioningly, she didn't look like she quite believe you.

"We saw the news!" Hop suddenly appeared by Marnie's side, his blue jacket fully zipped up, a rare sight. "Apparently we just go here to receive the rock badge, and then we head straight to Spikemuth! Isn't that cool?" 

He truly seemed oblivious to what had happened, and you didn't have the energy to explain what happened or correct him.

"Spikemuth is going to get a real surge in visitors." Marnie looked at her feet, which were covered by brand-new looking black snow boots. You couldn't help but notice that she seemed to suit them a lot.

"You don't really mind that though, do you?" Hop leaned against Marnie, much to her discomfort. "Spikemuth never really got popular because of the whole no-dynamax situation, isn't this good?" 

"Well..." Marnie looked visibly uncomfortable. She shifted slightly, rubbing the sole of her boots against the snow as she played with the hem of her coat. "I guess I should be happy, but I quite like how quiet our town is." 

"Well... I guess the matches aren't televised, so maybe it won't get too popular."   
"That's not the point though" Marnie stated, her brows furrowed downwards. "I like living quietly, I don't want our town to be some big commercial tourist centre like Wyndon, I just want our people to be happy." 

There was a silence, even Hop could tell that he should answer with care. 

"Well.... I guess I know how you feel..." Hop said carefully, speaking slowly as though he was considering every word. "Postwick is nice and quiet, but that doesn't mean I'm opposed to new visitors" 

"Postwick is popular though, because Leo-" You held your index finger up to your mask, round about where your mouth would be. Marnie's mouth turned into an O and she quickly dropped the subject. "Never mind, it's nothing"

"I don't care if Leon grew up there, it was still quiet. Not many people went all the way out there just to see where Leon grew up." Hop grabbed his arm gently "it was Lonely"

"You had Y/N though, and Victor. Wasn't that enough?" Marnie asked, still refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

"I *had* Y/N." Hop mimicked Marnie by looking at his feet "She's gone now. So I'm not opposed to any new visitors."

"Don't say that, Y/N will come back" Marnie comforted.

"No, Hop's right. Y/N is gone"

Marnie looked away, Hop's attempts at salvaging the situation seemed to be in vain.

"Why don't we go.... get... coffee?" You broke the awkward silence that had settled between you three. "There's this nice coffee place not far from here"

"I'm busy." Hop bluntly said. "I'll see you two tomorrow"

You didn't even have a chance to say goodbye before he walked away down the twisting paths.

\-------------

"You fell into the water and hit your head off a block of ice?"

You nodded as you stirred your hot chocolate. "Kinda funny huh?"

"Not really, but I'm so glad you didn't get hurt" Marnie sipped on her own Coffee, the liquid in her cup looked completely black and you wondered if it even tasted good or if she just wanted to try something new.

"The strange thing is.... I kept having these weird flashbacks." You explained, sipping on the molten hot-chocolate. "A long time ago, me, Victor and Hop went into the slumbering weald to rescue this wooloo, and we came across these two huge Pokemon that looked.... strange." 

Marnie nodded as she took another sip of the black solution in her cup "I'm listening"

"I don't know why, but during the gym mission.... I saw them. I don't know if I was hallucinating, but I felt like I was right back in the slumbering weald, and those huge Pokemon were in front of me." You sat the cup down on the table, watching as the brown liquid swirled around the mug.

"Is that why you fell?" Marnie asked gently, and you nodded again. The warm air conditioning gently blew your hair to the side.

"Well, was there anything special about that day? Anything that stood out to you? Besides the terrifying Pokemon, obviously." 

You raised one eyebrow at her, briefly wondering if she was joking. Her expression was completely blank, so you thought about the flashback more.

It stood out to you... why?

It wasn't the Pokemon, admittedly, they were strange, but they didn't leave that much of an impact.

It wasn't how the Weezing attacked you, you got over that fairly fast.

It wasn't Hop or Victor, they didn't act any out of the ordinary.

So then, it was...

"I didn't matter" you whispered "The Pokemon went after Hop and Victor, they didn't care about me. I couldn't even get into a Pokemon battle to save my friends from a vicious Pokemon." Tears began to form in the corner of your eyes. "Victor and Hop are doing all these great things, they've done so much, even those special Pokemon in the forest recognised their potential. But me.... I haven't done anything, all I've done is hurt people"

"So that's the problem" Marnie looked up from her beverage. "You feel like you haven't done enough?"

"No. That's not it." You let the salty water flow down your face. "Everyone around me is doing so much, it's like they were chosen. They can do everything, they can jump into action, they can talk to people without freaking out, they can go face-to-face with a giant Pokemon and still jump into a fight. But me...... I can't do anything. No one would miss me if I wasn't here." 

"A/N, you know that isn't true"

"But it is! If Victor or Hop were to disappear then everyone would be affected, everyone would care and feel sad that they were gone. But me.... no one cared that I disappeared, everyone went on without me. No one was affected at all, because why should anyone care?"

"A/N, calm down for a bit, we can talk about this more in Spikemuth"

"No, we can't." You rose from your seat "Sorry Marnie, but I need some time to think"

You tossed a few notes onto the table to cover the bill, before walking out with a sigh. The half-finished hot chocolate sat at the table where Marnie sat alone.

You pulled on your mask, then sent a quick text to Hop. 

\-----------------------

"Eh?"

"Yeah, kinda crazy, huh? We get a free gym badge because I almost cracked my skull open"

Hop laughed nervously, his Corviknight beneath you rustled his feathers.

"We're almost at the lake of outrage! I can't wait to see if there's any active raids" Hop grinned "I've always wanted to do a max raid, and if it's a dragon type that's even better!" 

"Yep, and you get dibs on Dynamaxing since you know I don't like it" you smiled, looking down at the huge lake below you. 

"Oh yeah, why is that? I think Dynamaxing is the best part of battling, why don't you try it?" The purple haired boy asked.

"Long story, but I just don't like it." You explained, a single drop of rain fell on your face "Even though I recently found out my Lapras is a G-Max one"

"Huh! That's amazing! I wish I could have a G-max Pokemon!" Hop giggled, the rain began to fall faster and faster, soaking Hop's hair so that it laid down flat on his head. The hair chalk in your hair had already began to fade.

"There's a red beam! There is an active raid!" You exclaimed. 

"Woohoo! Zekrom, here we come"

"Hop... I don't think we're going to find a Zekrom here." 

"Well, it doesn't hurt to hope." Hop joked.

Corviknight began to lower to the ground, the rain only got worse the further into the lake of outrage you went.

Eventually, when you reached the Dynamax den, you and Hop did a quick check to make sure you had everything, before jumping straight into the hole.

Bag? Check!

Pokemon? Check!

Potions? Check!

Emergency supplies? Check!

Hop? Check!

You quickly nodded at Hop, adjusting your bag so it wouldn't fall.

Then you jumped, Hop followed shortly afterwards.

This would be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marnie makes a return! And A/N finally acknowledges that she isn't okay!
> 
> The reason that this update is late is because my grandfather-in-law recently passed away due to coronavirus. It's been a very tough time for me and the rest of my family but we are trying to stay strong! Thank you for all the continued support xxx


	41. Cave full of everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! God. So much has happened that I could write a whole chapter just about it.
> 
> The main reason I've been on a hiatus is because as I mentioned last chapter, my life sucks. Grief is a horrible feeling, but I know I have to work through it. And writing this chapter really helped, so we're back to a consistent schedule.
> 
> So, I got Pokemon masters and I've had the best/worst luck with scouting. The 2 pairs I actually wanted (sygna suit red and New Years Lillie) I didn't get. But instead I got N, sygna suit blue, sygna suit leaf and New Years Lance. Soooooooo that's been ironic. Also I'm literally in love with Pokemon masters, it's really inspired me to write more.  
> (Lance, Norman, Koga, Brycen and Pryce are my favourite characters)
> 
> Btw Happy holidays and new year! Hopefully 2021 will be better than the dumpster fire of 2020
> 
> Finally, I got Pokemon black and alpha sapphire. I am in love with N.
> 
> So yeah! That's been my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice comments and Kudos! They always make my day! 
> 
> Tw: mentions of death

Chapter 41  
Cave full of everything 

\------- massive hiatus over --------

"You said it wouldn't be that deep" 

Your entire body was in immense pain. Your limbs spread out on the rocky ground. 

"Well, I didn't know either!"

The drop was so much bigger than you expected. At least 300 feet. It felt as though every bone in your body had been broken from the fall. 

You tried to get to get up, but your attempts were in vain as you couldn't do much except crane your head up. Your eyes managed to focus on your surroundings.

You were in a huge hollowed out space. It was remarkably smooth, like it was man made. The ceiling above you was so high up it was hard to see. The only light source was a small beam of light that seemed to shine from a hole. Most likely the one you came in from. It was nothing more than a pinprick on the rocky ceiling.

Strangely, the whole cave seemed to be illuminated red, even though there was no other light source except the hole above you. You wondered where it was coming from.

Your question was quickly answered when you heard a roar behind you, it was loud enough to shake the whole cave and blow your hair back.

"......Hop?"

Hop groaned beside you, getting to his knees.

"Should we run?"

"We can't now." He replied "the only way out of here is to defeat it"

"What Pokemon is it?" You asked with a grunt of pain.

"... look for yourself"

So you did. 

And you immediately screamed.

A giant, three-headed, dragon loomed over the two of you. It's huge size was almost incomprehensible, as it filled the majority of the huge cave. Each of its heads was easily the size of a house. It's giant wings spread across the width of the cave, the tips touching the walls as they flapped up and down. You and Hop were nothing more than pinpricks.

"It's a hydreigon!" You yelled. Suddenly the crushing pain in your whole body completely vanished and was replaced with a surge of adrenaline. Every part of your body was telling you to run. You had to run. But there was nowhere to go.

"We have to face it together" Hop called after you. You could see a pokeball in his hand. 

Yes. You had to use your Pokemon.

Your wits returned to you as you thought about which to use. You wracked your brain for what little knowledge you had about dragon types. They had three weaknesses.....

As if reading your mind, a voice across the battlefield yelled "Ice, Fairy and Dragon! Use Hattrem or Lapras!"

Ah! Lapras. Hattrem was definitely not ready for a fight like this.

You ran towards the centre of the cave, where Hop was already waiting, pokeball in hand. You locked eyes and gave him a quick nod. 

The pokeballs left your hands, Lapras and Hop's Dubwool immediately sprang forwards. You could see their hesitation when they saw their target. 

Hydreigon roared from all three of its heads as if to start the battle. Then everything seemed to happen at once. 

Hop called orders to his dubwool, which immediately began attacking the huge beast in front of it. Even though it was hovering at least 50 feet from the ground, and Dubwool never even came close to making physical contact, Hop's attacks all seemed to do damage. It was as though the regular battling laws didn't apply here. 

"Ice beam" you called out to Lapras, who immediately shot off an ice beam with as much effort as she could. It was like she was excited to finally have an opponent worth her time. 

The dragon roared again, and each of its six eyes fixed themselves on Dubwool. 

Without skipping a beat, a purple tornado-like structure surrounded dubwool and flung it up in the air. The gust of wind was enough to push Hop and you back several feet. 

When the tornado cleared, Dubwool was on his side. Hop quickly recalled him with a beam of red light.

Cinderace was next, and you saw Hop spraying a max potion onto Dubwool's ball from the corner of your eye.

Something told you this wouldn't be a short, or easy battle.

\------------------

The two of you fought, you fought and fought and kept fighting after that. It was clear that you had both underestimated the harshness of the fight. Whenever you let your guard down for even a split second, your Pokemon was swiftly annihilated by one of the beast's many attacks.

Potion after potion, revive after revive.

Every one of your team was in the battle at some point, even the frail Hattrem, who didn't provide much use except allowing time to heal your battered Pokemon. Hop was facing similar struggles. 

Eventually, after what felt like years. Cinderace shot off a Pyro ball which hit the dragon right on its middle head. Another fearsome roar echoed around the cavern, and the red light emanating from the Pokemon seemed to get brighter for a split second. It felt as though someone had condensed a raging thunderstorm into the cave, complete with flashes of red electricity bolts. 

"It's weak!" Hop yelled. "One of us has to catch it" 

Panic and doubt flooded into your mind. You couldn't handle a dragon like that, hell, you had trouble controlling growlithe at times. 

"You have to catch it" you called back. "And hurry!"

Hop pulled an ultra ball from his pocket as you looked around. Everything seemed to be shaking. Cinderace and Lapras looked terrified, as the Pokemon in front of them thrashed about helplessly. Its tail knocked the sides of the cave, causing huge chunks of rock to tumble down.

The shaking got worse and worse. Boulders began crashing down the sides of the cave walls. You quickly called Lapras back into her pokeball. Unfortunately you couldn't do anything about Cinderace, but you reminded yourself that Hop would catch the Pokemon in a few seconds.

It would all be over soon.

Until Hop fell.

An especially violent tremor caused Hop to lose his balance. Several large rocks landed on his back as he hit the ground. You could see how much pain he was in. 

He locked eyes with you, and threw the ultra ball straight at you.

"Catch the Hydreigon before it gets any worse" He yelled. His pain was blatantly obvious when he talked. 

The ultra ball in your hand stared at you menacingly. It taunted you.   
You were suddenly overtaken by a wave of unease. How do you dynamax a Pokeball? No one ever seems to have trouble with it in the matches you watched. But what do you do? Just hold it and it lights up red? What if you do it wrong? Is there a special procedure you need to do? What if you didn't do it right?

You realised that you had no clue what you were doing. You had to get Hop's help.

But Hop was currently under several pounds of rock, it was all up to you now. 

Everything was on your shoulders, if you messed this up then Hop would be crushed, You would never leave this cave. The hydreigon would destroy both of you. 

It was all up to you.

And you couldn't do it.

"Just Dynamax the pokeball! Hurry!" Hop called.

"I can't...." you said, mostly to yourself. The falling rocks and shaking cave drowned out your voice anyways. Hop's Cinderace looked at you with a defeated glance.

Cinderace! 

"Cinderace, double kick the rocks!" You ordered. Cinderace wasn't your Pokemon, but you expected that the situation at hand would forgive that little fact.

Sure enough, Cinderace was able to clear most of the rocks with two kicks of it's mighty legs. You hurried over to Hop's side to remove the remaining rocks before pressing the ultra ball back into his hand.

You stepped back as the ball glowed a vibrant red, Hop used his little remaining strength to throw the ball straight at the dragon. 

The ball sucked the beast in, before landing on the ground with a loud thud.

It shook once.

Then twice.

Then three times.

Click!

As if someone flipped a switch. Everything in the cave abruptly stopped. The bolts of electricity, the shaking ground, the red glow, the falling rocks. All of it stopped in a split second.

The air felt so light, so empty, and the faint feeling of static lingered in the cave. The cave which was now pitch black.

"Cinderace, pyro ball." Hop said with a grunt. The bunny kicked a ball of fire at a pile of rubble, which ignited, surprisingly. Some of the cave was illuminated, but it wasn't even a fraction of its huge size before

"You know, I think it would have been better if it was a Zekrom after all." Hop rubbed his aching body slightly. That made you even more aware of the aches in your own. Now the adrenaline had worn off, the pain was more present than ever before.

"I think you're right."

"So how are we going to get out of here?" Hop asked you "I think we both need to go to a hospital" 

"But there's no way out, it's just that tiny hole. None of our Pokemon could fly us out through there. If we were off by even a millimetre we would crash into the ceiling. I don't think we could survive a fall like that again" you sighed, everything seemed hopeless.

"So are we just stuck down here?" Hop asked "We can't stay here, who knows what happened to us, we could have broken bones or we could be bleeding internally. We need to find a way out"

"Got any ideas?" You asked. Hop shook his head.

"We could ask Leon? I bet he's been in tons of these raids." Hop rolled his eyes.

"We're still fighting. And he'd just try to rub it in my face if we asked him to rescue us. Also I am NOT in the mood for a lecture right now" Hop absentmindedly threw a pebble into the flaming pile.

"Well.... what about Marnie." You pulled out your phone, only to see a nasty crack right down the centre, and a "no battery" message that made you groan.

"Arceus! I forgot to charge my phone. And that crack us going to cost a ton to repair!" You groaned, you placed the phone on the cold, rocky floor.

"If we get out of here alive, i'll pay for repairs, it was my idea to come down here in the first place" 

"No! Keep your money. I don't want you to waste the money you earned on me." You reassured 

"What if it wasn't my money?" Hop asked with a devilish grin that you had never seen before. The glow of the fire revealed a small card in his hand. 

"Is that-"

"Lee's credit card?" Hop giggled. "If you don't want me to steal your credit card, don't tell me my friend is dead"

You immediately burst into laughter, Hop also began laughing too.

"That's hilarious, but please don't actually spend your brothers money." Hop rolled his eyes, but with a grin. The credit card was slipped back into the pockets of his jeans.

"You know.... we might be here a while" You said, looking into the fire on the ground. "Maybe for the rest of our lives" the flames danced in your vision as sparks occasionally shot off from the fire.

".... you know." Hop looked away from you "that should scare me a lot more than it does" 

"How come?" You asked. 

"I mean. I've lost so much." He muttered "My friend is god knows where, my brother hates me, my mum hasn't seen me for ages.... this gym challenge took over my life." He looked back over to you, his glossy eyes reflected the dancing flames "if I never left this cave, who would care?"

"I...." you sighed "I guess it's the same for me. I know that no one would care if I disappeared. I already disappeared once." Hop looked up to meet your eyes.

"You know... with that mask I can never really tell what you're thinking, I can't tell if you're happy or sad. Is that why you wear it?"

"I guess." You replied "I don't want anyone to see who I really am. I don't want them to see all of my weaknesses, or my fears, I don't want them to see how selfish I really am. I made so many selfish decisions, and now I can never go back. I guess this mask hides everything I don't want people to see" you turned your head away from the fire "So this mask can never come off. I can never let anyone see my mistakes, my regrets, my anything."

"Wow...." Hop whispered "I thought it was because you were shy" 

"That too" you added "But I abandoned everyone when I started this gym challenge, so I guess if I never left this cave, no one would really care"

"I guess we both have our own issues, huh?"

"I guess so."

A long silence, a long pause where the only noise was the crackle of the fire. With each second that passed, the emptiness of the cave seemed to loom in your mind more and more. The once electrifying cave full of adrenaline and excitement was now nothing more than an empty void. The silence was louder than the Hydreigon's roar.

"Y'know... that Hydreigon's pokeball is somewhere in the cave."

"Do you want to scrounge around in the dark for it? Besides, you caught it. Not me." You joked. "And I don't even think I can get up without screaming in pain" 

Hop laughed, a surprisingly genuine one. "I don't think I could either."

"Do you want to try get out of here?" 

"Is there any point?" Hop replied with a sad smile

"So you're okay with being here the rest of our lives?"

"I guess so." He looked at you "I wouldn't be alone for once" 

More silence 

"You know, I think I'd be okay with that too"

\-----------------cliffhanger. Will Hop and A/N escape? Find out next time (;---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that was.... darker than I anticipated. Anyway, I honestly have no clue how to get these two out the cave, so 🤷♀️.  
> Alsoooo, foreshadowing abt Hop and Leon 👀
> 
> It feels so good to write again! I hope you all had as much fun reading it as I had writing it.
> 
> Stay hydrated xx


	42. Hindsight is 20/20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey! New chapter, this time featuring my terrible art skills. LOL, I was writing this chapter and got the sudden urge to draw, so that's why there's a drawing this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are picking up now. We are actually nearing the end of this fic. (I know, shocking)(but also, the ending might turn out longer than I expected so please don't hold me to that) . But don't worry, I have all my next fic's planned out, so trust me when I say I won't disappear after this fic is over.

Chapter 42  
Hindsight is 2020

"A/N isn't answering her phone again" 

Marnie watched as her phone rang out, the third time today it had done that. 

"Y'think she's alright?" Piers asked. The other man on the couch shrugged.

"Dunno, does she usually answer her phone?" Raihan asked.

"Within a day." Marnie dialled the number again, only for it to ring out once more. 

"Maybe she's off with Hop or Victor, you shouldn't worry too much" Raihan stretched his long arms before taking out his phone "I'll give Hop a call if you're worried that much"

When Raihan was met with the familiar sounds of his own phone ringing out, he began to worry slightly.  
"That's..... odd. Are the cell phone towers down or something?" He asked, only to be met with a shrug from Piers and Marnie shaking her head.

"Not that I've heard" she looked out the window of the flat. It was pretty dark out, even for spikemuth standards. "I'm just worried, the last time we saw them was yesterday, after the incident with Gordie"

"It's only been a day, I'm sure they're fine" Raihan reassured.

"I hope so too...." The girl's thoughts were interrupted by a rapid knocking on the door. 

"Who's coming round this late?" Piers complained.

A screech from outside the door quickly made Marnie's blood run cold. 

"That's a corviknight." She spoke "They never come here, something must be up"

Without hesitating, she jumped from the couch, sprinting to the front door. Raihan and Piers groaned loudly as they slowly got to their feet.

Marnie flung open the door with the force of an angry Machamp, and came face-to-face with a large Raven bird. A piece of paper hung from a rope around its neck. 

"Blitz?" Marnie asked, quickly snatching the paper from the birds neck.

"What's going on?" Raihan asked, appearing beside Marnie. He spotted the crumpled bit of paper in her hands and began to read over her shoulder.

"Is that... from Hop?"

Marnie swallowed, the handwriting was definitely the same messy scrawl that Hop's was. Or at least, part of it was. From a glance the handwriting seemed to alternate between two distinct styles.

She began to read, hoping that whatever it was wasn't that bad.

\-----------------------

"Dear Marnie" Hop wrote, leaning on the flattest rock that he could find.

"Don't start with 'Dear Marnie', she'll think we're too formal" You leaned over Hop's shoulder.

"Fine! I'll just put 'Marnie'" He scribbled over the previous writing, and wrote what you suggested instead. ".... how do I even start a letter like this?"

"I-...." You trailed off, realising you didn't have a clue either. "Uhhh, just put our location?"

"That's not nearly enough information!" Hop protested. "We need to at least say how we got in this mess" he tapped his pen against the boulder he leaned on.

You laughed to yourself "If you wanna say that, go ahead, I'm sure that won't embarrass either of us"

"It'll be quick" Hop pouted "I'll just put 'It's Hop and A/N. We are stuck in a Dynamaxed den'" 

You rolled your eyes, before taking the paper from Hop and writing on it yourself "Let me do it, 'We've been stuck in here for a day now, and Hop sucks at cooking'" 

"Hey!" Hop protested, snatching the paper back as you snickered slightly. " 'We're somewhere in the lake of outrage. We can't get out because it's dark in here, and we can't risk using a flying Pokemon, so we're sending you this letter in the hopes that you could rescue us'" 

You nodded, "Yeah, that sounds good. Can I add something?" 

"Go ahead" He pushed the bit of paper towards you, and you began to write again.

"' Please don't bring Leon, Hop is still Mad at him. He's also scared that he'd just get yelled at if he found out what we did. So... please don't tell him about this, okay?'" You tried to keep your writing neat, but the bumpy surface underneath the paper made it difficult.

Hop skimmed over what you wrote, before writing "'Please come rescue us.' " 

You nodded, reading over the entire letter once more, before writing one final sentence. "Also, I think we might need to go to a hospital."

That part was true, both of you had successfully taken a few steps over the last few days, but, even though neither of you admitted it, you were terrified at the fact that you couldn't walk normally. Even the few steps you did take came with great pain. Pain that didn't seem to die down.

Hop laughed, but it was hollow, empty, devoid of its usual childlike glee. He signed the paper, as though it was a legal document instead of a call for help. You felt obliged to do the same.

"Think that'll work?" You asked hopefully, Hop shrugged. 

"Blitz can take any storm, but, even if they do get the letter, I don't know how they'll get us out." He sighed, and it broke your heart to hear Hop sound so defeated.

"Well, we can always try, right?"

Hop nodded, but his eyes lacked any of the hope they were normally full of. 

You turned away, not wanting to seem creepy by staring at him. "We'd better get this posted then?"

You grabbed an escape rope from your bag, and tried not to think about the implications of tying it around the bird's neck. The last thing you needed was bottled feelings to resurface. So you kept your mind clear as you fastened the paper to the rope.

Once you were done, you patted the bird on its side to signify you were finished. Blitz gave a nod, before preparing to launch from the ground. You grabbed Hop's arm to tug him away from the danger zone.

Once you were a few hundred feet away, you nodded to the bird, who promptly lunged off the ground, taking to the air. You and Hop watched with crossed fingers as the silhouette approached the light source from above, and you both let out a huge sigh of relief as it disappeared. Blitz had successfully left the cave.

"Now we wait." Hop walked back over to sit by the fire, you followed behind. 

"We might be waiting a while" you added "But it's best not to think like that, hopefully we'll get out of here soon.

\------------------------

Raihan was a faster reader than Marnie was, and he bolted off back into the apartment as Marnie was finishing the final parts of the letter.

"Those idiots...." Marnie muttered. Even though she was concerned about the two of them, she was also furious. Her face didn't show it, but she would have to restrain herself from yelling at the two after she had found them. 

She took a breath before walking back into the house, grabbing her trainers bag from off the desk. She managed to catch the tail end of Raihan's explanation to Piers. 

"....-down there over a day now. We need to get them out of there and to a centre, right now."

"So yer saying they've been down there fir over a day?" He asked, his voice the same monotone tone as it always was, but Marnie could tell he was concerned. "Did no one teach these kids 'bout how dangerous they are?"

"Apparently not" Raihan growled, sending a shiver down Marnie's spine. "Not surprising though, Lee's lil bro has never been known for following the rules." 

She packed the supplies into her bag as slowly as possible, she needed time to think about what she would say to them. She wanted to scream at them, tell them how stupid it was to go down there without a plan, but she also didn't want to put them through more than they had already been through.

She dropped the first-aid kit into her bag, wishing she had been there to stop them. 

She sighed, and walked into the hall to meet Piers and Raihan, the latter seeming antsy, and the former seeming tired, as always.

"Ready to go?" Raihan asked Marnie, who could tell he was trying to keep the anger in his voice to a minimum. The girl simply nodded in response.

"We should go, 'ts gettin late" Piers slid his hand down to his thighs, where his pokeballs were kept. "Me 'n Marn' will head on Blitz, will ye be alright on yer flygon?" Piers asked Raihan, who nodded.

"Okay... let's go then" 

\---------------------------------

"8 of hearts, skip your turn" Hop played his card with a smug grin. "And this is a Jack, so I choose Spades" 

"I hate you..." you whispered, picking one of the cards from the pile.

"Well, maybe it isn't a good idea to wear black sunglasses while next to a fire and playing a card game." Hop wore a smug grin, and you had to fight the urge to not get annoyed at him.

"That's cheating!" You protested, Hop played another card and you were forced to pick up again. "This game is rigged!"

Hop laughed, a genuine laugh that you hadn't heard in a while. It was able to wash away your anger about the card game, and replace it with a laugh of your own.

"I'm on last card!" Hop announced in a sing-song tone. You had to restrain the smirk that formed on your lips.

"Oh? Well, not anymore" you placed four 2s down. Hop's jaw fell, and you couldn't stop a snide snicker from escaping you.

"And you said I was cheating!" He protested, reluctantly picking up cards with a pained expression. "You're wearing a mask, so you have a better poker face than I do"

"Oh? And who was just getting onto me about wearing my sunglasses." You placed the last of your cards down onto the deck, and you watched Hop's mortified expression as he realised that he lost.

"I hate this game!" He whined, slamming his cards on the rocky ground.

"You brought the cards, buddy" You were just rubbing salt in the wound at this point, but you really didn't care. If felt nice to win at something, without a crowd cheering for your demise.

Hop huffed, and scrambled to collect the fallen cards, but a strong breeze swept them away. 

"How is there wind down here?" You asked, Hop looked around frantically. The wind was getting even stronger, strong enough to sweep a few of the cards into the fire. Yet neither of you cared that much.

"You two are in a WORLD of trouble" A distant voice called out.

The two of you looked at each other, the reflection of the flames danced in Hop's eyes as he realised who the voice was. 

"Raihan!"

Hop sprung to his feet, and began waving frantically. You looked up, spotting a familiar figure on a familiar Pokemon. 

As he approached the ground, you heard a secondary flap of wings. You looked towards the beam of light to see Blitz returning, two familiar people atop it's back.

"Piers! Marnie!" You called out.

Raihan reached the ground first, and he hopped off his flygon to run towards both of you.

He pulled Hop into a tight hug as you got to your feet. You felt a twinge of jealousy as Raihan ruffled the boy's hair, but you pushed it aside. Now was possibly the WORST time to get jealous about physical affection.

"Do you have ANY IDEA how stupid that was?" Raihan scolded Hop, but continued to hold him tightly to his body.

"I'm sorry, I really am" Hop buried his face into Raihan "I should have asked you before going down here"

You felt jealousy begin to bubble in you again, but you pushed it down sharply. You didn't want to admit how touch starved you were, you didn't want to admit how much you wanted someone to hold you in their arms, even if it was only to scold you.

"A/N!" You turned to see the larger bird land beside you, and a pair of twin-tails that you could never forget. Marnie scooped you into a hug, and you didn't resist, even though you were in a world of pain.

You felt an older man put a hand on your shoulder as the two of you hugged. The bony white fingers made you assume it was Piers. And your suspicions were confirmed when you pulled away.

"Don't think yer off the hook either." Piers scolded you. "T' three of us are gonna have a nice long chat once we're out o' this place" 

"Are you hurt?" Marnie asked, and you nodded. "What happened?"

"... falling rocks" You really didn't want to get into the full details, especially not here, but you felt as though 'falling rocks' was a good enough summary of the shenanigans that ensued the previous night.

"Oh my Arceus." Marnie groaned "First Gordie's trial and now this? Are you trying to stress us out?"

You shrugged, not really sure how to respond to that.

"Okay." Raihan interjected "First. We need to get some light in here" A flash of red shot from his belt, and a Shiinotic materialised. "Flash" 

The pink Pokemon spun around, and within an instant, the entire cave was illuminated. The full size was on display, and it looked even bigger now that it wasn't filled with an angry dragon. It seemed to stretch on forever, but at least now you could actually see the opposite wall.

"Ah..." Hop said sheepishly "That would have been helpful to have." 

"Yes, it would have, wouldn't it?" Raihan's words were laced with sarcasm, and you briefly felt sorry for Hop, before realising you were in just as much trouble. "Alright, next we check you over for injuries" 

Hop protested, and you did as well, knowing full well the extent of the damage. But Raihan was insistent. Hop reluctantly lifted his shirt, showing a rainbow of black and blue bruises that stretched across his entire torso.

Raihan winced, and Piers expressed something other than his usual mundane expression. 

"Holy..." Raihan cut himself off "Yeah, you need to get to a Pokemon centre ASAP. How the hell did that even happen?"

"Falling rocks" you said bluntly. 

"Don't think I forgot about you either" Raihan turned to look at you, He glared at you as Hop pulled his shirt back down. "Are you just as bruised as Hop?"

".... perhaps" you muttered.

You could see Raihan visibly trying to restrain his anger, he was failing miserably. 

He took a deep breath before sighing "Alright, both of you come here. We're leaving. And once you're done at the Pokemon centre, you better believe you are getting a lecture"

"Yes sir...." Hop mumbled. 

"Wait!" A thought occurred to you just as Raihan was about to board flygon. "The pokeball should be somewhere in the cave. We didn't pick it up because it was too dark"

You heard hop mutter "oh yeah" and Marnie quickly skimmed over the floor of the cave. Her eyes landed on an ultra ball, nestled in between several jagged boulders.

"Is that it?" She asked quietly, gesturing towards the general direction of the pokeball.

You nodded, and tried to run over to grab it. Unfortunately, pain shot through your entire body with each step you took. You only got three large steps towards the ball before wincing and curling in pain.

"Careful!" Marnie warned. 

Raihan walked over to pick up the fallen ball. There were several large scratches on the paint, and a small dent in the side. It looked just as battered and broken as you and Hop were.

"Alright. We've got the ball. Now get out of here before the pain gets any worse." Raihan recalled the Shiinotic, yet the cave remained illuminated. "Hop and Piers take Blitz, I'll take A/N with me on flygon." 

Marnie looked slightly disappointed before saying "I'll take Noivern." 

"Good. Let's move out then."

You reluctantly climbed onto Flygon's back, wrapping your arms around Raihan for support. "How are we going to fly out of here? The hole is way too small to be safe" It reminded you of the main reason you were stuck down here in the first place.

"This is why you should have been briefed on this before coming down here without a plan" Raihan was clearly trying to keep the composure in his voice.

"S-sorry..." 

He sighed, before clarifying "Normally, yes, you'd be stuck here. But that's why we take another way out." He secured his grip on Flygon, and allowed the Corviknight to take off first. "Every one of these dens has another way out. It'd be pretty useless to come down here otherwise"

You were about to question what he meant, when suddenly you were lifted from the ground at a much faster speed than you expected. You resisted the urge to scream as Flygon rapidly ascended towards the top of the cave.

"There's always another way out, just near the edge of the walls." He elaborated. "You might want to hold on tight for this bit"

You reluctantly complied to his request, and you were glad you did. Flygon picked up a sudden surge of speed, and seemed to be heading straight for the wall of the den.

"Raihan? We're gonna crash!" You panicked, holding onto the man as tightly as you could.

"Just trust me, it'll all turn out fine" He reassured, but Flygon continued to rush towards the walls at record speeds. You closed your eyes, expecting a sudden 'thud'

Yet it never came, and instead you felt Flygon rapidly change direction, facing up and darting through a hole you hadn't previously seen.

And like that, you were in the open air. 

The glare of the sun hurt your eyes, and your lungs were filled with the familiar scent of fresh air. You let out a huge sigh of relief as Flygon soared into the sky, following the darker blur in front of it.

"There's always an opening there, but it's hard to see because it's shaded by the walls above it." He explained, You nodded, although he couldn't see you.

"That... would have been nice to know."

Raihan chuckled to himself. "It sure would have, huh?" Something seemed to click, as he sharply perked up. "Oh, also. You should really head to spikemuth after this. Since Gordie's gym got skipped, Pier's session started early. It should've started this Thursday, but the league decided to start it today instead"

"What? So we don't have any time to prepare?" You asked, Raihan shook his head sadly.

"Unfortunately, no." He sighed "It's going to cause a lot of extra traffic to Spikemuth, and I'm not sure if Marnie or Piers like that."

"Ah..." you didn't know what else you could say. So you left it at that.

There was a brief silence, with only the rushing wind and occasional flying Pokemon darting past. 

"We're at the centre." Raihan blurted out. "Can you walk on your own?" 

You nodded. It was only a few steps, right? How hard could it be.

Flygon landed, and you slid off it's scaly back. Landing on the ground softly.

The door is right there, just take three steps.

You took one step, and immediately winced in pain. 

It's alright, just walk. 

You strained to stop a groan of pain from leaving you as you took a second step, then a third.

The doors opened automatically, like the pearly gates to heaven, and you spotted Hop already leaning against the counter.

\----------------------------

"Am I making myself, absolutely crystal clear?" Raihan restrained himself from yelling, especially in a Pokemon centre, but his firm tone was enough to send shivers down both you and Hop's spines.

"Yes sir." You both replied drowsily.

"Good." He sighed. "Never, EVER, do that again"

If it wasn't clear from the 30 minute lecture you had just received, Raihan wasn't happy. His body language was too restrained, trying too hard to be casual.

"I think they've got the message" Piers sighed "They've learned their lessons, do don't be too harsh on them"

Raihan reluctantly backed away, his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets.

As if on cue, A Nurse joy walked up to the group of you. Two clipboards were in her arms, and she had a serious expression on her face.

"Thankfully, they will be fine." She began, which caused everyone in the group to sigh with relief, even the inexpressive Piers and Marnie. "However, I recommend they stay here overnight. Both of them have infected lacerations, and Hop's bruises aren't to be taken lightly." She paused slightly "But, yes, they should be fine to continue their gym challenge after a few days" 

Hop couldn't contain his excitement, he jumped off the bed, pumping his fist in the air. You promptly grabbed his arm and yanked him back down.

"That's great to hear." You said, sincerely as you could. "I'll probably be challenging the Spikemuth gym tomorrow then"

"Tomorrow? Without any training? Are you sure?" Piers asked "I'm not someone to take lightly"

"I'm sure." You nodded "I have my reasons" 

"I look forward to hearing them"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the formatting was okay for this one, I've never used HTML before, so I hope nothing went wrong. New chapter next week (or maybe earlier if I find the motivation) Stay hydrated xx

**Author's Note:**

> Woah, so thanks for reading, it means a lot! If you want you can leave a comment with suggestions of what you want to happen.


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